I don't know what's inside me that's slowly draining my body, but I know I'm almost empty.
I see through these eyes from a face that seems to be 
okay.  When they gaze through into the world, they feel 
so painful; make me feel unpretty.  There's this 
desperate need inside me to opunish my mistakes with cruel self-abuse.
It's getting hard to take care of myself;
I'm getting out of hand.
God, You love me right?
I promised myself I'd never doubt your love, but well, 
here we are.
I feel sorry for myself.
My mind is threatening my heart with painful worries.
I've got to calm myself.  I can feel my blood boiling 
and rushing through unbelievably fast.  I love You, 
God...and no matter what You have ini store for me...
I'll love you anyways.
I shouldn't let myself get caught up so easily...
I'm smarter than that.
It's just so hard.
why can I say it without hesitation, but live being 
hesitant to act upon it?
I'm disgusted with myself.
I need change, inside my thoughts and my heart.
I need to open up my eyes and see what I've got and 
work with it.