Crystal - Oh man, I'd love to have a garbage truck!
Me - Uh...what? Why?
Crystal - Come on! If you cleaned it out, think of the parties you could have in there!
** crystal's dad was driving megan's car back to town because we were slightly intoxicated **
Megan - hey Chad....this is your sweater!
Chad - Yeah.. okay
Megan - Why is your sweater in here??
*Megan reaches into a plastic bag and pulls out her underwear*
Megan - This is my underwear!! What the.....oh wait, this is MY car!
Ian - I saw midgets playing basketball once. It was a whole midget team against a real human team.
Matt - What? Real humans? Midgets are humans too!
Ian - No they're not..
Matt - Yes they are man, midgets are humans!
Ian - No they're not, god, what are you, 5?
Matt - What are you? 2?
Kyle - What are you? Hitler?!
** a song by Megan and Heather about the science fair, sung to the tune of "Scarborough Fair" by Simon and Garfunkel **
"Are you going to the Regional fair..
Mold and lots of gross stuff
All you nerds and geeks don't lose your sleep, cuz
Today you're going to the Regional fair..."
** ahh scattegories ...the letter was "s", the category was sports **
Other group - Ok, we got soccer
My group - Soccer baseball!
My teacher - No, they're both soccer...no points..
Heather - No! Soccer and soccer baseball are two different things!! With soccer baseball, you use your feet!!
Megan - Remember that book Mr Oulette wanted to write? Green Peppers Can Kill Ya, Ya Know?
Me - Ugh, yes. He probably sent it to the publishing companies and they just threw it out...
Megan - Excuse me, sir. We just called you in to tell you that your book was so horrible, we had to burn it in front of you..
Me - Hahaha...yeah, or they just have a bin. The Mr Oulette bin and they just keep chucking the book over their shoulder into 'The Bin' everytime he sent it back.
** the following two conversations were during a titration experiment with a buret in chem class **
Heather - Ok John, that's enough...it's looking a little blue
Megan - A little blue?! It looks like 2000 Flushes!
Heather - Thanks for ruining the experiment John!
John Martin - Hey! Who's the chemist here? *points to himself*
Heather - Oh, so a chemist means having to turn a knob?
Megan - All you have to do is smile knowingly.....
Me - Ahh..hard day at work. The knob was sticky...
Megan - Can't go to work today. The knob is stuck.
Heather - I'm a cross between a sheep and a goat. So I'm a geep.
John Martin - That'll be your new name, I'm gonna call you Geep now
Heather - It could be geek, but that name is already taken........by YOU
Heather - John's depressed...
Eileen - We need to find him a woman!
Me - Yeah John, you need a significant other. Well, not really...but having one is always fun
John Martin - Nah, I'm self-sufficient
Me - You're self-sufficient? Ewwwwwww
John Martin - Yeah, sometimes twice a day!
Kyle - Guys are just gross. A big hairy pile of gross.
Heather -know what I like?
Me - The buns on the Big Crunch?
*wierd looks are given to me*
Me - .....I...I like them
...
Heather - No no, I like watching old men cross the street
Me - And that's better than mine?!
Megan - No, thats more disturbing than yours...
Heather - It's cute!
*during a heated game of Scattegories in chem class...the letter was B, remember that*
My teacher - things that are black...
Nathan - bars! Like...jail bars..
Whole class - Nooo we're not accepting that!
Crystal - boots..
My teacher - but boots come in other colors too...
My whole group - yeah but they come in BLACK!
My teacher - ok, we have to accept bars then too...
My whole group - fine then!
*the game goes on...*
My teacher - university degrees...
Jason - Business
Heather - Bachelor of...whatever
Nathan - NO! Thats NOT a degree!!
My whole group - Who cares, you get it in university!
Nathan - I dont care!! Its NOT A DEGREE!
Jason - Yeah, its a bachelor, not a degree!
Heather - Yeah well BARS AREN'T BLACK, BITCH!
Me - Ugh...my mom cries at Full house..
Kristen - *bursts out laughing*
Me - hehe what?
Kristen - I'd vomit!
Tim - Oh poo..
Me - Let's call him Winnie the Pooh! *imitating the stupid history commercials*
Heather - Why Pooh son?
Me and Heather - I dont know...just..Winnie...the...Pooh!
Me - God...ya know a kid came up with that name...I mean, thats all they think about...pooh pooh pooh!!
Crystal - Hehe thats all I ever thought about as a kid...
Tim - Thats all I ever think of now!
Heather - We're teenagers! All we ever talk about is sex and drugs...
Mark - *stoner voice* Man...I like, fucked this girl...then like...took some heroin...*nudges Tim* What did you do this weekend?
Tim - Where are you coming up with this stuff?!
Megan - Man, if I ever have a kid, I want it to be like...one of those shifty eyed kids..
Heather - What? Whats a shifty eyed kid? Whaddya mean?
Megan - You know...those creepy little kids...with like, mittens on strings..
Heather - Jon's pretty affectionate today
Crystal - Yeah I know heh...I'm like ah, dont touch me!
Megan - Nah...its sweet, I'd like that...
Crystal - Yeah, well...I dont want him like POKING me and stuff!
Heather - I'd be like "get yer fuckin hands off me! Do I look drunk to you?!"
Everybody - *laughs*
Crystal - hehe he probably did something that I'm gonna find out about soon
Megan - haha its pretty bad that you like, suspect somethings up just cuz yer boyfriend is being nice to you...
Everybody - *laughs*
*this was in the middle of an arguement but I thought it was funny anyways*
Crystal - Colin, is that Tang?
Colin - uh, I dunno...
Crystal - ok, lemme smell it...
Colin - *hands Crystal the cup*
Megan - Let me smell it...
Colin - No!
Megan - UGH! GOD! You are such a JERK! You're in love with Crystal or something
Colin - Hahah, why cuz I let her smell my drink?!
Me - Colin, lemme smell it...
Colin - *hands me the cup*
Heather - GOD! Why are you such a JERK?!
Colin - UHH! I'm in love with Lisa!! I let her smell my drink!! *spills juice all over me*
Megan - There are girls on the SCHOOL football team?
Heather - Yeah, there's like 4 of us..
Megan - Cool! Can I be your football groupie and come on the bus with you guys?
Heather - They probably won't even let the girls on the bus!
Crystal - Yeah, they'll give you guys one of those handicapped buses...this is the girl's bus!
Me - Haha, yeah...they'll paint it pink with pretty flowers all over it hehe...THIS is the GIRL'S bus!
Heather - We got new locker rooms and we're not allowed in them hehe
Megan - You're not allowed in them?! What?
Heather - Well, yeah we cant like, shower with the guys!
Crystal - Hahah, sure ya can...ya mind lathering me up?
Megan - Uh, I dropped the soap...can you bend over backwards and pick it up for me?
Crystal - hahaha bend over backwards...do like a crab walk...
Matt - Can I see Mr Potato Head??
Me - Yeah, he's right here
Kyle - If you take off his hat, he can be one big testicle!
Colin - ok guys, if I said you could do anything you want with my body when I'm dead, would you eat me?
Me - Uhhh...no, I cant say I would Colin
Heather - No, I'd have sex with you...hahahahaha
Megan - Hmm...I think I would. Yeah, yeah I would
Heather - No you wouldnt
Me - Hmm...ya know Colin, maybe I would
Heather - I wonder what his ears would taste like...
Colin - Nah, you dont wanna eat my ears! Its all like cartilidge
Heather - I dont care!! I still wonder what they would taste like!
Megan - Nah, I bet the calves would be the meatiest part
Me - Ok Colin, when you die, I claim yer left calf
Colin - You cant claim my whole calf! Thats alot of meat!!
Me - I dont care! I'll stock up!
John Martin - I wonder what it would be like to
wear a girdle...
Heather - a gurgle??
John Martin - have you ever heard of anything called a GURGLE?
Megan - Yes...there is...*glugalgugrulegle*
John Martin - No...thats a gargle
Heather - Babies gurgle...*glugalglugag*
John Martin - Thats a turkey....and its gobble.
Megan - I wonder if I stink. Something smells like
rotten vinager...
Heather - Vinager doesnt go rotten ya friggen wanker!
John Martin - Only organic things go rotten........like your brain.
John Martin - Did you guys know that SPAM stands for Some Parts Are Meat?
Heather - And KAM is ham in a can..
John Martin - No...KAM is cat in a can. Thats why there's a "K" ....for cat
Megan - god, I feel like such a slob...my cousin just waved goodbye and I have this piece of lettuce, like...trailing from the side of my mouth...
Dawn - uh, you have lettuce on your head
Megan - oh really?!
Megan - this tastes exactly like the farm
Colin - uh, farms have a taste?
Heather - new manure flavored!
Megan - no no...the BERRY farm
Me - new! Sheep flavored!
Megan - Mutton...
Me - uh, Megan...didn't you buy that so you could keep the bottle?
Megan - awww...dammit!!
Heather - don't ya feel like a schmuck?
Heather - Asbestos....that sounds like a cereal..
Me - yeah...like, Asbest-O's ...hehehe
Heather - yeah...Mommy can we get some frosted Asbest-O's??
Megan - ...now with Vitamin R
**note ..parts of this one were in french and had to be translated**
Megan - So Miss, are you gonna change the date of the test since we all had that vote?
My Science Teacher - silence!
Megan - God...silence of the lambs...this is where she peels off her skin and eats it...
Megan - its Tang!
Me - oh ew...God, I'm so anti-Tang...
Heather - hey! I was raised on Tang, you bitch!
Heather - Eat those fries! There are starving ethiopians
in Argentina!
Everyone - hahaha
Heather - thats why I said it, cuz its funny
Megan - where are ethiopians from?
Colin - uh, Ethiopia..
Megan - thats a real place?
Me - ya stupid idiot!
Heather - where do Canadians come from? Bismal?!
Colin - Canadiana!
**while working on a really stupid math problem**
Megan - god, I dont even wanna consider working at Spinney's Manufactoring....
My Math Teacher - well, just pretend that you have to...its a small town and the only place you can get a job is at Spinney's Manufactoring...
Me - God, where IS this awful place?!
Megan - uh, somewhere down in Mexico....