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Fungus (a.k.a. Sir Handsome Fungus Bug) and his charming and lovely sister,
Beanie (a.k.a. The Calico Meat Loaf.)

Momcat, the mother of the soon to be famous Sir Handsome Fungus Bug.


I have always been of the opinion that two cats is the perfect number of cats. Enough to keep each company, and not so many that the litter box explodes. This was my carefully laid plan. I was of course going to take Momcat, as that had been arranged when she was rescued. And I had selected the pick of her litter so to speak, the Handsome Fungus Bug, known as "Stealth Cat" at the time. Even at eight weeks of age his future star potential was apparent.

My two new cats lived at my friend's house, which was just a few hundred yards down the hall in the complex where I live. I expected little difficulty transporting two cats this short distance, after all, I was a highly trained and experienced cat handler. I arrived, placed Momcat and her son in a cat carrier, and headed home. I of course gave no thought to putting mom and son in one carrier, after all, weren't they mother and kitten?

About halfway home I found out that the mother kitten bond was not quite as I imagined it. Momcat turned on her poor son and began to beat him vigorously. Horrified, there was little I could do but run for my apartment. I held the carrier to my face and hissed at Momcat as I ran. This somewhat distracted her and prevented her from giving her full attention to the punishment she was inflicting on her bewildered and frightened son. I am sure we made quite a sight running down the hall, it is a wonder that no one called security.

I got to my apartment and released the cats. Momcat began to prowl the apartment in a state of understandable annoyance. Fungus kitten was another matter, he was utterly terrified. He was in a strange new place, I was a complete stranger to him, and worst of all, whenever he tried to approach his Mom she rebuffed him. He huddled in a corner and cried, inconsolable. My carefully planned cat transfer was turning into a disaster.

The situation was urgent. Something had to be done immediately or my new kitten would be traumatised for life. It might be hours or days before Momcat calmed down enough to comfort her boy, and my efforts to reassure him were not working, I was too unknown. I called my friend and said it was an emergency, could she please bring me another kitten right away? I hoped that the two kittens would console each other until such time as Momcat regained her composure.

Shortly thereafter, with only a minor delay caused when the new kitten escaped in the hall, my friend arrived with Beanie. Beanie and Fungus immediately huddled together in a corner and comforted each other. In a very short while they had stopped crying and in fact started to explore their new surroundings. Aside from ending up with three cats instead of the planned two, all appeared well. Then I realized that in my haste to request a 2nd kitten from my friend I had forgotten to specify which kitten. She had of course selected the calico kitten, knowing full well this was her big chance to unload her on someone. However, that is a subject for an upcoming essay, "Are All Calicos Insane?" For now the three new cats were home.

After many adventures, and considering her nation wide fame Beanie decided that a new social standing was in order. Accordingly she moved into a higher class neighborhood and nows lives a life of ease and luxury, lolling on silk pillows and eating tuna flavored bon bons.

Momcat has chosen to retire to a condo overlooking beautiful Lake Merrit in Oakland, California. Her guidance and charm will be missed by all of us at United Cats, but we remain true to our mission: A cat for every home and a home for every cat. Good Luck and Blessed Be Momcat.

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Copyright © Doug Stych 1997 All Rights Reserved