Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome

The meat of the issue and why you came to this website in the first place.

I am not a doctor or physician of any kind. I am not a psycologist, psychiatrist, therapist or any kind of -ologist or -ist. I do not have a BA, MA, or PhD of anykind. I only degree i have is an AA in General Education. But i do practice TMS. So take this webpage as informational content and reference.

Okay right off the bat. This process could take months
MONTHS!!!

Be prepared for it.. there are no quick fixes. It took 7 months before i was able to ejaculate inside my wife.
7 MONTHS!!!

That being said if your a woman reading this it is not your fault
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

You did nothing wrong, your sill attractive, your still beautiful, your still sexy. Your not doing anything wrong.
YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG

If your a man reading this its not your fault.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

It happend the way it happened. No parent teaches their son's how to correctly masturbate. Its something we all figure out on our own.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

Secondly if your in a relationship reading this website go into this with an open mind. It could take months to solve this problem. Remember problems in the bedroom turn into problems in the relationship. (and vice versa) But it should be a problem that the two of you can solve together.
YOU CAN SOLVE IT TOGETHER

This is a fact that I cannot stress enough. I remember the first time I ejaculated in my wife. I said "We did it" and I broke out in tears. It was alot of work, tears, stress, and arguments in the months leading up to that point but it was something that together we claim as a victory for the relationship. If you are going to do this then its going to be a team effort. Your working towards a goal that togther you will reap the rewards from. *so to speak hehe*

I know it sounds silly for me to lead off with relationship rhetoric in this discussion but it plays a big role in it. When a man cant ejaculate (or gain or maintain an erection) it hurts his pride (especially when he know he can). This creates stress in the relationship and in the bedroom. Now look at the womans point of view. When a man cant ejaculate (or gain or maintain an erection) a womans response is usually that she failed in somehow (as stated above) and she wonders why she cant please her lover. This also creates stress in the relationship and in the bedroom. Now you have two people having sex and are stressed about having the male orgasm. Needless to say this makes for bad sex and ever increasing realtionshop problems. The best way to aleveate (sp?) this problem is to hold your tounge bite your lip. Its hard.. .i know. .. I KNOW.. 7 MONTHS!!!. Remember your working towards something and you will have to make some sacrifices, mainly your pride in this case. Let it go.

Start decreasing your TMS masturbation. If your in a sexual relationship theoretically you should't be masturbating anyway. But if you must you must.
I know, sometimes it just has to be done

Dont masturbate alone if you can at all help it. Sometimes my wife wouldnt be "fresh" enough for sex sometimes we'd just be in mood to masturbate so we'd do some M&M (Mutual Masturbation). This is a pride swallower for the female. But its important, not just for the relationship but for the end result. More on that later.

When i could ejaculate I could only do it in one position (acutally two). Missionary, I would be laying directly ontop (and inside) of my wife with my legs straight back, my arms under her shoulders. This closely resembles the TMS position. I had limited success early on when I noticed that I got an exciting sensation when in Missionary position my testicles brushed up against the bed sheets. It felt good and my movements intensified and I ejaculated. This was an early victory and in subsequent sexual sessions the excitement went away along with ejaculation. Small victories are good victories.

The second position is basically the same as the first except that my wife would be on her belly. Basically a lying down doggie style. (Im sure theres a Kama Sutra name for it) Anyway in this position my testicles would be directly brushing up against her thighs. Though not excatly the same motion as TMS I was able to get results this way but it was long work.

Ladies dont just watch get involved. If you know your partner has Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome but havent had sex yet this can be important. The same goes if your currently having sex but dont participate in your mans TMS practices.

Lay next to your partner while hes masturbating. Feel his body while he's involved. Feel his back, he arms, his shoulders, his butt. Watch his movements, listen to his breathing, watch his facial expressions. Dont say anything, you can make some erotic moans and breathe heavily. Lightly kiss him, on his cheek and the rest of his body, licking can also be good. As your partner gets close to orgasm his movements should become more faster and intense, his breathing will become more heavy and his muscles will tense up. As he orgasms get closer and push your body next to his use your hand to caress his back and shoulders feeling his muscles tighten. Its good to verbally encourage him at this point.

The same as above but at some point position yourself on top of your partner lying belly down. This can be kind of difficult for the man as he's not used to weight pushing down on him while he masturbates, however its not goin to be for long. As above feel his body with yours even mimick his pelvic movements with your own. Rub your hands against arms and caress his head. Kiss him on his cheek, his ears, his shoulders, and the back of his neck. Eventually lift your torso up with your either your hands (in a pushup position) or bracing your self up with your elbows. Keep the weight of your pelvis on him, your legs either lying on top of his or straddling him, feel his rythm as he masturbates. You can continue to mimick his pelvic movements with yours. You can also use your legs to lift your pelvis and do light counter thrusts onto his butt. As his butt comes up/back you gently press against him, nothing heavy, nothing that will ruin his rhythm. As he gets ready to orgasm slowly lower your self back onto him pelvis first. When he does orgasm you should be on top of him with your arms around him, feel his body tighten and twitch as he orgasms.

Same as the first point except the woman should be lying down on her back next to the man. The man should put his arm around his wife and tuck it under her shoulder, the womans arm that is closest to him can be underneath him or lying flat inbetween the two of you. In this position the man is using you as an extra pillow to support him. This is slightly different as you will acutally see each other face to face, you can kiss each other, be verbal and the man can enjoy your breasts while he mastubates. The woman can us her free arm to caress the mans back and head or do some self masturbation her self. You have less of a touch sensation with this posistion but thats not the most important point. The point is seeing your mans face when he prepares to and eventually does orgasm.

Isnt this just reinforcing TMS masturbation? Doesnt seem be any advantage for the woman?

All part of a bigger plan remember that. The importance of these three positions is for you as the woman to get to know your mans body. Remember your man isnt masturbating using his hand, he's using his whole body to stimulate his penis. In effect he's simulating sex. The important part is to remember how your man reacts when hes getting close to orgasm. Remember his facial expressions, how his body moves, how his movements intensify, how is muscles get tighter. During intercourse you should be able to identify this moment just by the way he looks and feels without him verbally telling you. At this point is when you unleash your womanly bag of tricks. Most likely your man has no problem achieving this point its just getting over this point that is the problem. If you know its coming ahead of time you can adequately prepare ahead of time.

My bag of tricks?

Yes, my wife used to do all sorts of things, some on purpose some not. My wife says that when im at the threshhold point its pure heaven because its so intense and it lasts longer than any usual man. So she would either breathe really heavy, say something very erotic, make an intense facial expression and it would take me over the edge. Remember, just because your man doesn't masturbate normally doesn't mean he's bad in bed.

Wrap your legs around him or spread them wide. Throw your arms out, in the air, around his neck or grab a hold of the sheets. Throw your head back, bite your lip, breathe through your teeth. Be verbal, encouraging or just plain nasty.

It may not always work, if you've had sex with your partner before you should be familiar with this. So start off light, breathing and such.. no verbal comments. Practice makes perfect.

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We Did it!!!