The Twelve Stars: Chapter 4

Ain't this pic kawaii? ^.^

---Uh.... of course. Whatever that means.

Vincent soaked in a warm bath,

---I guess I'll just go soak myself in a bath.

basking in the soapy water.

---What did you expect? Lava?

He hadn't
bathed in over a month

---Grotty....

and had gotten over his illness a few days ago.
As he closed his eyes and laid back, someone walked in.

---"HEY! You're that guy from next door!"

Vincent opened
his eyes and looked up.

---Only to see a giant lamp fall onto his face.

"Don't worry. It's just me" smiled Aeris


---"I've seen you naked lots of times."

"I brought you some clean clothes

---and our eviction notice.

". She then left.

---Not the most talkative type is she...

Vincent let out a long
sigh and sank beneath the water,

---"Good-bye Cruel world!"

a strange feeling that something wasn't
right coming over him...


---Water too cold?




Edgar sat at the restaraunt table with Yuffie, waiting for his Korean
BBQ

---KOREA?!?! This is a whole other planet!! How do they figure Korea's going to be on this planet?

Plate to arrive.

---"...well anyway, I said to Sabin "Hey! That's MY foot you're standing on!" and he just looked at me and said "I know." HAHAHAHAHAHA isn't that funny?"

They were going to visit Red XIII and had decided
to stop for dinner at a roadside cafe.

---Let's just tell the reader what has happened instead of explaining how it happened as it happened earlier.

"So, tell me about what you
found out about your past" said Edgar as he took a sip of water.


---PTOOOOIE!!! "What's in this stuff?!?!"


"My mother was 11 years old at the time and rather well-developed,

---She visited the gym very often.

so it
was only natural that she attracted alot of boys"

---Oh. That's what they all say. You're only using that as an excuse.

began Yuffie "One
night, her parents went out, leaving her by herself.

---"You can have whatever you want from the fridge, but remember "NO PARTY".

It was around 11
at night

---The 11th hour of the 11th day of her 11th year.

when she heard a noise from the front room.

---It was her parents just leaving.

When she went to
investigate, she found that a burglar had broken in!

---EXCLAMATION MARK!!!

Upon seeing her in
her nightgown,

---And I in my cap, we had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

the man just lost control of himself and forced himself
upon her.

---GIVE ME A BREAK!! How developed can an 11 year old be, for crying out loud? This has to be one of the stupidest plot devices I've ever seen. "Let's see. I just stated that she got pregnant at 11, now how will I make this fit in the story..." Oy....

Fortunately, a neighbor heard her screams and managed to

---Ignore it.


catch the attacker and call the night watchman.

---So we'll call tonight "watchman" and tomorrow we'll call it "Andy" and the next night "Joe" and....

The burglar was hanged
a few days later.

---And she lived happily ever after. THE END.

The family's problems weren't over yet, for my poor
mother became pregnant.

---"Could You take care of Yuffie Today? I have a lot of homework. Just think, I'm almost done grade 7."

Nine months later, I was born.

---Needless to say, I was born at a very young age.

My mother's
older brother, Godo, who was 30 at the time

---CRUD!!! That's a pretty big age difference.

, offered to take care of me.


---It was an offer, they couldn't refuse.

My mother named me Yuffie shortly before the rest of the family moved to
Costa del Sol.

---I can't take this kind of responsiblity. Let's move to a resort!!!

I grew up thinking that Godo was my father"
"Are you going to look for your mother" asked Edgar


---It won't be hard. Costa del Sol has only, like, 2 houses. (It also has BGM reminiscent of "Manos".)

"Definetley. I think she still might be in Costa del Sol.

---I bet that took some heavy brain work, huh?

I'm gonna
call someone I know who lives there tomorrow"

---They're just moving in tomorrow.

said Yuffie as their meals
arrived "Now let's enjoy the food" she grinned.


---She later died of food poisoning. THE END.


About 40 minutes later,

---You could hear Edgar say "Hey! It's free if it's over 30 minutes!"

Edgar and Yuffie arrived at Cosmo Canyon.
After climbing a flight of stairs and long ladder, they arrived Red's
home.

---"This is the police. Open up."

Yuffie knocked on the door and a voice replied

---Ahhh! The're back. Hide it in the closet!"

"It's open".
They then went inside and sat down.

---See Dick and Jane sit down.

"Would you like anything to drink?"
said another voice.

---The voices....The voices....

Edgar looked up to respond and gasped. There stood
Kefka, staring back at Edgar with curious lavendar eyes.

---That's not polite.

He looked at
least 20 years younger.

---That All natural cream does real wonders, doesn't it.

His blond hair was now knee-length and a small
pair of white wings graced his back

---He really should get that checked out. It may be an infection.

He wore a long blue robe that
touched the ground and a white feather was tucked behind his ear..

---Awwww. He's become just the CUTEST ethereal being I know.

"What
the hell are you doing here..." growled Edgar. Just then, Red XIII
entered the room.

---Oh. I see now. Sorry.

"I see you've met Kefka" he smiled.


---Excellent.

"Very pleased to meet you" bowed Kefka "I can explain why I'm here"...


---I was walking my dog Red, and I accidentally warped myself into this stream of time/space and I forgot how to get back.


The next hour was filled with conversation as Kefka told about how he'd
lapsed into a death-like sleep for the next 1500 years

---Shouldn't that be PAST 1500 years?

and how a mutated
Hojo had enslaved him.

---Well, he put me in chains and made me get tea for him.

Yuffie and Red told their stories as well.
Finally Kefka told them about Scarlett.

---Then they all started disscussing their latest experiences with temporal rifts and later talked about their first kiss and then they all sat down and played a vigorous round of Candy land.

"I know" said Yuffie

---"You already told us this story."

"People
around Wutai have been claiming to see a half-man, half-machine creature
with glowing red eyes.

---So, when people use these red eyes, what else do they see?

I sure hope it's only a rumor"...


---Yup. With that population of Wutai, rumors spread fast.


Aeris sat in her bedroom, reading a novel as Elena walked in. "I heard
you were pregnant" smiled Aeris


---"I don't look fat, do I?"

"Yup" replied Elena "Reno and I found out that Tseng was a unisex name
and that's what were going to name our child.


---We're going to name him "Unisex".

"Well, congratulations.

---You may have already won TEN MILLION DOLLARS!!!

I sure hope Reno is ready for fatherhood"
"I hope so too" said Elena as she left the room.

---WHY IN THE WORLD DID SHE EVEN GO IN THE BEDROOM?!?!?! She didn't even DO anything!

After Elena left,
Aeris said prayer

---"prayer"

for the health and well-being of Elena's unborn
child...


---With an ellipse for good measure.


Just outside of Junon, a strange light slowly descended to the ground.
It pulsated for a moment and then released a bright flash. Then it died

---THE END.


down to reveal Rufus, now solid again. Rufus looked at
himself,shocked.

---Wow! Electricity DOES raise the dead.

He then looked up at the sky, wondering what had just
happened...


---And then a bird pooped on his face. Heh heh heh.