((In this chapter, we find why it's called The Twelve Stars...))

---Golly! We should just jump for joy now shouldn't we!



Tifa stared out the window, watching the Midgar skyline.

---Midgar has a skyline?!?!

She then
smiled and patted her round belly.

---"I am so glad I married an Italian Chef"

She was now 5 months pregnant.
Things had changed quickly since Sephiroth's defeat. Aerith had been
ressurected, then Tifa had became 'Mrs. Cloud Strife'

---In quotations.

. Barrett became
mayor of Midgar.

---This is turning in to an even cornier fanfic.

Reno and Elena had gotten married in a simple ceremony
before going to live with Vincent and Aerith, while Rude had moved to
Costa Del Sol and had became a bouncer.

---And got shot on his first day of work.

Cid and Shera had adopted a son.
Cait Sith had turned out to be the Esper Stray,

---Even though he was a robot.

who was just using
a robotic replacement on the quest.

---I still don't believe you.

He still used the name Cait Sith
and acted like the creature they all knew and loved.

---And sometimes hated.

He was working as
a fortune teller at the Golden Saucer again. Vincent had fallen ill.


---Didn't the author think that most people would OF READ THE FIRST TWO PARTS!! For crying out loud, you don't have to say it all over again.


"How 'bout Fabrienne?"


---How's about I kick you in the head and toss you off a cliff.


Tifa turned and looked at Cloud, who had his nose in a book of
names.

---HELP! Get my nose out of this book!

They knew that their baby was going to be a girl, so they were
looking for a suitable name.


---(tifa)"Well let me think. I am a girl, and I am going to have a baby. That must mean it will be a girl! WOW I'm smart."


"Too fancy" replied Tifa "Can I see the book?"

Cloud handed her the book. After flipping through numerous pages,
something caught her eye.


---It fell out?


"Cloud, what do you think of the name Naoko?"

Cloud pondered for a moment.

---"How about 'Dead Beat'.

"It's perfect" He then kissed Tifa and
said "C'mon. You should go to bed early. A lot of sleep makes for a
healthy baby" They then went upstairs, smiling all the way.

---TRA LA LA LA LA!




Aerith walked down the hall, carrying a basket of clean clothes.

---"Now who owns the "I'm Dead and I lived to tell about it" boxers? Oh yeah that's Vincent's."


Suddenly, she felt something was not right.

---OH NO! I LEFT THE IRON PLUGGED IN!!!

She put down the basket of
clothes and started running towards the room Vincent was in. She opened
the door to see

---A good set of pants was on fire.

Vincent thrashing about wildly. He was clawing at his
own face and yelling in his sleep. "Vincent wake up!" she yelled,

---WAKE UP THIS INSTANT, YOUNG MAN!


shaking him "You're having a nightmare!" Vincent awoke, gasping for
breath. Aerith then held him in a soothing embrace. "It's ok. I'm
here" she whispered.

---Don't worry. Mommy won't let those blood thirsty, soul eating, large fanged, poison spitting demon/monster/human mixes come over here.

Vincent looked up at her, his face streaked with
tears. She waited for his breathing to slow down before releasing her
grip.

---THUD.

Vincent just lay there, feeling weak and fragile. "C-C-Can you
stay with me for awhile...?"

---C-C-C++

he asked in a hoarse voice. Aerith then
sat by the bed and held Vincent's hand, talking to him quietly.

---So he couldn't hear.

About
half an hour later, Vincent fell asleep. Aerith took his
temperature(with an ear thermometer)

---*Thank goodness*

and found it was now only 104.


---only....

Aerith sighed in relief, knowing that the worst of Vincent's illness was
over. She then left the room and shut the door. Finally, she picked up
the basket and walked into the TV room.

---"Boy, that was one "STRANGE HAPPENING".

Leno

---JAY Leno?

and Yrena were watching a
movie called 'Running On Empty' which happened to be sponsored by Kappa
Laxitives.

---I think this was some pitiful attempt at humour. Notice the connection between the title and the sponsor?

"Have a seat Aerith" smiled Leno "This movie is really worth
watching.

---"It's about the gastric problems that can surface in many of today's foods."

They just picked an inappropriate sponsor"

(I guess I can relax now) thought Aerith

---I guess I can re-LAX now.

(Vincent's beginning to
recover...)

Red XIII climbed the stairs to the guest room.

---Since he was the guest!

He had told Cid
everything and was now going to check on Kefka, who had cried himself to
sleep hours ago. Red opened the door to see Kefka laying with his back
turned on Red and perhaps the rest of the world.

---He turned into one big back.

"Kefka?.." asked Red.

---Uh....Kefka isn't a question, really.


Kefka slowly got up, almost as if in a trance. He then turned around.
He wasn't a pretty sight.

---Never is.

His blond hair was a mess and hanging in his
face. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. Red sat down next to
Kefka and put a paw on his shoulder.

---Accidentally extending his claws and piercing Kefka's spine. THE END.

"Thanks" smiled Kefka "You're my
first real friend"
"You're very welcome" replied Red
"I was possessed by Zeromus when I was very young, so no one got to know
the real me.

---Because I wasn't there!

Everyone was so afraid of me, that they didn't want to
make friends. I ended up gaining a bad reputation"


---"Daddy, Kefka just spiritually infused my Lego house in the ethereal realm!!" "Son, you are to never consort with him again."

"I know how it feels to be taken advantage of. That's why I was
captured by ShinRa.

---Ra Ra Ra. Isn't Ra and egyptian god?

I was an easy target"
Kefka was silent for a few moments. He then asked "Can I call you
Nanaki?"


---"Can I call you sometime?"

Red smiled. He then said "I guess you can, now that we're friends"

Yuffie shuffled through the records of Wutai. She was going to be
an elder, so she had the right to know the town's history.

---I have no clue why they would even let her CLOSE to power.

Edgar had
fallen asleep a few hours ago, so he wasn't with her.

---We didn't expect her to carry him all the way over there. You didn't have to tell us.

As she sorted
through the papers, something caught her eye.

---It fell out?

It was the Kisaragi
family history. But what was inside was incredibly shocking.

---PIKACHU!!!!

It was
about how her mother had gotten pregnant at 11

---I bet that could have been a painful delivery.

and how Yuffie was left
with her uncle, Godo, while her mother's family moved to Costa Del
Sol. (I'll ask Godo tomorrow) thought Yuffie (No use waking him up
now...)

A few days later...



---THE WORLD BLEW UP. THE END.

Kefka and Red XIII walked back to Cosmo Canyon.

---So that is how I got messed up in this whole time period. What are your experiences with Temporal Rifts.

Kefka had decided
that he had wanted to live with Red so he could learn about nature and
the Earth's history. He had himself a weapon as well.

---A Spice Girls CD.

It was a bow and
a quiver full of arrows that Kefka had found on the roadside. For some
strange reason, they seemed magical.

---For some strange reason, they seemed strange.

The two were almost there when Red
suddenly stopped. "I think were being watched" he whispered. Just
then, a voice said "I've got you now!" Kefka and Red turned around to
see

---the owner of the bow and arrows.

a mutated Scarlett. She now had four arms and four faces as well!


---Ashura!!!

"The Great One has given me a gift. Each face is different!" She then
turned her head around, showing each face "Happy! Sad... Angry! Zany!"


---...zany? Uh.... I don't know if that would really count as one of the 4 main emotions.

she said as she diplayed her faces. She then launched an ice attack.
Kefka and Red jumped out of the way just in time.

---So they weren't cold, just mildly cool.

Red growled and leaped
at Scarlett, only to be thrown backwards. "No one treats my friends
that way!" yelled Kefka as he strung an arrow. A strange energy
pulsated from it.

---Now that's some pretty strange bacteria they've got around there.

He then shot it at Scarlett. "Gyaaaa! How dare you!"
she screamed as the arrow lodged itself in her shoulder. Red used the
distraction as an opportunity to attack. He bit Scarlett on the leg.

---I find this very funny. If you read my MSTing of the crossover "dread", you'd know why.


"Eaaugh!" she screeched. She then said "I'll be back" and disappeared in
a cloud of green smoke. "Let's go before something else happens" said
Kefka. Red nodded as walked into Cosmo Canyon.


---Never to be seen again.


Back at Cosmo Canyon,

---BUT THEY ALREADY WERE AT COSMO CANYON!!!!

Kefka and Red relaxed in the cave they now
shared.

---It's not much, but the price was right.

Kefka was going outside to bathe when he noticed there was a
symbol on Red's face.

---It stood for "Radiation"

Upon taking a closer look he found it was the
symbol for the constellation Scorpio!

---Don't tell me that they're going to try and fuse FF Tactics in here as well.

There was a symbol on his face as
well. It was the symbol for Saggitarius. He then walked out to a small
pond.

---Shouldn't of there been a paragraph before that last sentence?

A light rain fell as he removed his clothes and stepped in. The
water was a bit cold but bearable. (I guess this is what they call
'roughing it')

---Yup. I guess.

he thought as he sank beneath the water. Kefka swam
about for awhile, blissfully ignorant of his surroundings. As he
resurfaced, he thought he saw a pair of glowing red eyes staring at him.

---Attatched to a BIIIIIIIIG snake.


He looked again and saw nothing. As Kefka walked back to the cave, he
felt something was not right...

---His underwear was too tight.

---Well, I guess that "First Strike" refers to Scarlet's attack. At least the title fit better than chapter 2's. Keep checking for the next one.