"Buurrnn Maximals, buuurrrnnn!!"

---Now that's the way to start a morning!

screamed Inferno, charging into battle.

"He's got to come up with a new saying,"

---"Or we could just kill him. I'd actually prefer that."

sighed Mad Jackel as she dodged behind a rock to avoid the fire from Inferno's flame thrower.

---Same ol', same ol', huh?

---So he just went around the rock and THEN killed her.

"Ya, you can tell him that at the next group meeting," snickered Rattrap,

---Hey! What about actually FIRING BACK? Huh?

who was also using the rock for cover.

MJ raised her eyebrows

---Messing up all the circuits in her head and she malfunctioned. THE END.

(not that she HAD eyebrows, but you get the idea ).

---No I don't. Explain it to me.

"Couldn't the Preds wait till AFTER lunch to attack; I'm starving!"

---Yeah. All that food robots need to eat. Just a pity.

"Think about your stomach later," yelled Dinobot, rushing at Inferno with his sword drawn.

---Who then fried him up.

"Right now we have a battle to win!"

---Yeah! Get those Nerf guns firing at full force!

Rattrap noticed Quickstrike and Waspinator advancing toward them.

---through the rock.

"Chopperface has a point.

---You're stupid.

You take Quickstrike, I'll handle bug-eyes."

---Wow. That's a really good point there.

Mad Jackel nodded in agreement, even though she hated having to take orders from him, and charged toward Quickstrike, firing her hand blasters.

---Which began to blast everyone's hands.

Elsewhere on the battlefield...

---To the left a little and take 15 baby steps forward.

"Why... won't... you... just... die?!" screamed a very frustrated Livewire, trying her best to shoot Sting Blade out of the sky. The nimble hornet avoided every shot.

---You'd think that in the future (or whenever the heck this is) that they'd have faster weaponry. AT LEAST the speed of sound.

"Maxzzimal need to work on her aim," buzzed Sting Blade, blasting at the female firefly.

Livewire managed to dodge the first two shots, but got nailed by the third and was sent flying into a rock formation.

---Live and on stage!

Luckily she wasn't damaged much.

---It was just soft rock, so it didn't hurt her ears much.

"Yo Airazor, could use a little help here!"

---I'm sure she could.

"I'm.... uhh... kinda busy at the moment!"

---"I'm in the can. Leave me alone."

said Airazor, punching Buzz Saw in the jaw.

The Predacon flyer barley seemed to notice and came at her again. "Bird-bot should give up, Buzz Saw will dezztroy you."

---Ack! Comma splice! ...The poor little comma.... *sniff*....

"Yeah right," said Airazor, trying to sound as brave as she could. Sure hope the others are doing better than we are, she thought.

Well... better is in a manner of speaking.

---Why YES! Yes it is!

Rattrap and Dinobot were doing pretty well, more or less.

---Usually less.

Mad Jackel, on the other had never actually gone head to head with Quickstrike before.

---What's that have to do with Rattrap and Dinobot? Isn't that previous sentence supposed to have some connection, or something? Wha?

So she was a little taken aback when he head-butted her, especially since he had a very hard head

---Considering the fact that HE'S METAL!!!

and absolutely nothing in it!

---So his head caved in.

"Geez, is that any way to treat a lady?"

"Ha, you ain't no lady!" sneered Quickstrike.

---"YOU'RE A ROBOT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!"

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that!!" she growled as she tackled him.

---This could turn out to be a great love scene.

Quickstrike decided he had definitely underestimated her. Mad Jackel was a powerful warrior, especially when she had been insulted.

---You see, when someone insults a robot there is a small program that becomes resident in memory which affects the reaction time in the...... what the heck am I talking about?

Quickstrike soon found himself in a rather uncomfortable headlock

---Is there a comfortable one?

with Jackel covering his optics with her hand.

--- "Get off, ya crazy tinhorn, I can't see," yelled Quickstrike, running wildly, trying to shake her off his back.

"That the point!" she laughed as he headed right for the edge of the cliff. The female

---the FEMALE! I cannot approve of the antics of this generation. I can't believe these new robots with all their GENDERS and newfangled programming. It's a disgrace.

managed to leap off, but Quickstrike couldn't quite stop in time...

---He had to type in the command for "stop" in binary.

"Ahh!" *bang* "Ow!" *whamp* "Eh, dagnabit!" *clank* "Ooo!" *SMACK*

Mad Jackel watched him tumble down the side of the cliff. "Man, that's gotta hurt. I hope!"

---IT HAS TO! I COMMAND IT TO BE!!!! I hope.

Then she ran off

---the cliff.

to help the others.

Meanwhile Airazor and Livewire were trying to figure out what to do while their cover was slowly being blasted away by Buzz Saw and Sting Blade.

---Then they decide just to SHOOT BACK. It took a lot of brain power to figure that one out.

"I think we gotta problem here," sighed Livewire. Suddenly her face brightened.

---Ack. Hydro company's pumpin' a little too much juice here.

"Hey, why don't we try maneuver 13B?"

---The one where it ends up giving someone a wedgie?

"You really think that will work?"

"There's a first time for everything; 'sides, what we got to lose?"

---Well, let's see, oh, maybe... OUR LIVES!!!!!

The two Maximals flew off in opposite directions with a Predacon chasing after each of them.

---Tag in the future.

Then, Livewire circled back around toward Airazor with Sting Blade following close at her heels. Airazor stopped in midair.

---And dropped like a rock.

Buzz Saw prepared to blast her, just as Livewire flew up next to her. The two females

---You know... I'm guessing they're female.

moved out of the line of fire just in time causing Buzz Saw's shot to miss them completely. Unfortunately it blasted right through Sting Blade's chest,

---Unfortunately, the bad guys were losing.

sending her tumbling out of control to the ground.

Buzz Saw was shocked at what he had just done, giving Airazor the chance to blast him in the back.

---A real honourable thing to do.

Buzz Saw crashed into the ground; he picked himself up and crawled over to where Sting Blade had landed.

---"At...least we can...die...together."

He knew he better get her to a CR tank, and soon.

Livewire and Airazor watched as Buzz Saw gently carried his companion off to the Predacon base

---and accidentally dropped her a few times.

. "Ya think we should go after them?" asked Livewire.

"No, I think our friends could use our help more." They flew off.

---Yup. They sure did. Uhuh.

Inferno had his hands full fighting Dinobot, so he wasn't very happy when Buzz Saw radioed

---They haven't even improved technology from radio waves?

in to tell him he was taking Sting Blade back to base for repairs. Inferno looked toward

---the future!

Waspinator who was getting his butt kicked by Mad Jackel and Rattrap, then to the two Maximal flyers heading toward them.

---Hmm. This is less than a great strategic assault.

He decided they better cut their loses. "Predacons retreat!!" he shouted

---Run like Guinea hens, the heck out of here!

Waspinator joined him and the two flew back toward their base, but not before picking up the unconscious heap of Quickstrike.

---Then they yelled at him a lot.

"Cowards!!" yelled Dinobot shouted.

---You know, it's better if you just say it once. Only one verb is needed. (Yelled Dinobot shouted?)

Mad Jackel looked at Rattrap.

---"I love you."

"Can we go home now?"

"So, you have failed AGAIN!!!"

---They don't get much appreciation at their home.

growled Megatron as he shoved Waspinator into the wall.

"Yes my Queen," said Inferno a little sadly, "We have failed you, but it will not happen again."

---"Wait. You said that last time you failed!"

"It had better not."

---Or I'll sick the papparazzi on you.

Megatron tossed Waspinator in front of Blackarachnia.

"Perhaps," she said, stepping back to avoid the puddle of mech fluid forming around Waspinator's unconscious body,

---What's "mech fluid"? WD40?

"A little more brain power should go into our next attack."

---"So let's hire the good guys to plan for us."

Megatron just glared at her and Blackarachnia decided she better keep her mouth shut.

---So she just mumbled her next sentences.

"Tarantulas, how are the repairs on our troops coming?"

---"And is the oatmeal ready?"

"Yes Megatron,"

---Wait! That wasn't even a yes or no question!

stuttered Tarantulas, "Quickstrike's repairs will be complete shortly and Sting Blade is done now." He pushed some buttons on his control panel and a platform lifted out of one of the CR tanks.

---"Here's the coffee you ordered."

Off of it stepped Sting Blade, looking good as new.

---"This is the newer model going at a great $45590 and it comes with a free air freshener."

Buzz Saw flew over to her. "Sting Blade all right?" he asked.

Sting Blade smacked him in the head.

---How DARE you ask me a question?!

"I'd be a lot better if Buzz Saw would watch where he'zz shooting!"

---I'd be even better than good as new if you didn't shoot me.

She was about to hit him again but Megatron grabbed her arm.

---"HEY! Leave me alone, Ya' big lummox."

"Miss Blade, I am not in the mood for your petty arguments," he hissed.

---"I know you got killed back there, but that is of secondary concern."

The hornet swallowed nervously and took her arm back.

---Someone stole it?

"Sent Quickstrike to the command center when he's finished,"

---Are you tense?

said Megatron, heading toward the door. "And Tarantulas, repair Waspinator while your at it," he added as he left the medical lab.

---"Snazzin' frazzin' big shot boss. I'll show him sometime."

Buzz Saw carried Waspinator to the empty CR tank then turned to leave. Sting Blade watched him go and decide to follow him down the hall.

---Stalking's illegal, you know.

She knew he had a little crush on her

---She looked in his diary.

, and she hadn't meant to hurt his feelings.

---Her feelings? I'd think that getting a big whole blasted in your chest would cause more PHYSICAL pain!

She just didn't like having one of teammates shoot her, that's all.

---Most people would take that rather hard, yes.

Sting Blade waited till they were out of hearing range of the others then gently grabbed his shoulder.

---Tearing it from his body.

"I'm sorry," she sighed,

---I shouldn't have been hit. It's all my fault you shot me.

"Shouldn't have gotten so mad, wazzn't really your fault."

---Wazzn't really good at grammer, never graduted school.

"Buzz Saw sorry too," he said smiling at her (well he was doing the closest thing a yellow jacket could do to smiling)

---In other words, smiling.

, "Shouldn't have let Maxzimalzz trick me."

---"Good thing it wasn't me who got hit!"

Sting Blade looked him in the eyes.

---Or optic receptors.

He isn't half bad looking, she thought to herself.

---"Almost makes me wish I had a gender."

At least he had nice eyes anyway.

"Um... I wazz going to go out to exerzzise my wingzz,

---Even though robotzz don't have musclezz.

wouldn't mind some company. Want to come?"

Buzz Saw nodded and followed her eagerly down the hall.

Meanwhile, back in the lab, Quickstrike finished his repairs and stepped out of the C.R. tank.

---Why use periods now? I thought it was just CR.

He didn't look happy. "I can't believe I was beaten by a dadgum female!"

---Hyuk. Let's get all liquered up and go shoot us some deer fer supper.

he sighed.

"And what is that suppose to mean?!" growled Blackarachnia.



---"Are you being biased against genders that robots don't have?!"

---It means that I was defeated by a female. I didn't think that was too hard to decipher.

"Well I.... er... I mean... um... ya see Sugarbot...."

---It means dirt. That's what.

Quickstrike stuttered, trying to come up with an answer that would save his butt.

Inferno cut in.

---THE END.

"The Royalty wishes to see to you in the command center at once."

---"And bring your socks this time"

Quickstrike gave a sigh of relief and headed out the door followed by Inferno

---With Blackarachnia pulling up third from behind!

. The two spiders were left alone in the room.

---Alone with each other. Whatever.

Blackarachnia sat down in a chair next to Tarantulas and sighed.

---"What a day. What a crazy, wacky day."

"Something bothering you my dear?"

"It's just," Blackarachnia sighed again,

---"I don't feel like I'm cut out for this kind of work."

"There's something about this Mad Jackel, something familiar..."

---"I think I've seen her clothes on an ad somewhere."

"You probably met her before you went into stasis."

---In a past life.

"Probably, but there's something else I just can't put my claw on,"

---And if I did, it'd probably pop.

she said shaking her head.

---Causing dandruff to fall all over the floor.

Tarantulas looked over at the unconscious Waspinator lying on the C.R. platform.

---"I'm thinking of taking a picture of that and framing it."

"I'm tempted to just leave him there, but Megatron would cut off my energon supply."

---"Heaven forbid I'd have to go get my own!"

Blackarachnia didn't hear a would he said though, she was busy with her own private thoughts.

"Interesting," said Optimus.

---These are her thoughts?

He, Rhinox, and Cheetor were reviewing a video of Mad Jackel's fight with Quickstrike.

---Featuring Don Cherry as announcer!

They were hoping to learn a little more about their newest Maximal.

---And why she always wore bunny slippers.

Mad Jackel hadn't been with them very long and she was still pretty much a mystery to them.

---Shouldn't you have told us about the characters at the start of the story?

Rhinox hadn't been able to find a file on her either, it must have been accidentally deleted when they had crash landed.

---I think this author loves commas.

All they knew about her for sure was that she was a scientist of some sort.

---And that only because she had a big "I'm a scientist and you're not. SUCKER!" jacket on.

Rhinox looked at Optimus. "She certainly has her own way of doing things, doesn't she?"

---Most people do.

"Yes, but she seems to be working out well."

---"I can't believe she's actually trusting everything we say! Ha! What a fool!"

"That is YOUR opinion." The three of them turned to see Dinobot enter the room.

"Do you have a problem with our new Maximal?" asked Optimus.

---No. I just wanted to make it known that it was your opinion. That is all.

The raptor sighed, "There is just something strange about her,

---And that smell!

and I don't like the fact that all our information on her has disappeared."

---I thought they never found it? Or that it never was there?

"Well, I like her," said Cheetor. The others gave him a strange look. "What?"

Optimus Primal shook his head.

---"We cannot approve of that."

"This is not something we really need to talk about.

---"We shouldn't question anything. We should believe everything, and even stuff on TV."

Mad Jackel has already proven herself a loyal Maximal, end of discussion!"

Dinobot was about to say something but decided it would be best not to, and walked out of the room.

---Heading right for the cafeteria.

Mad Jackel switched off the intercom, she had heard every word they had said.

---Shirley these should have been two separate sentences. Yo!

She sat back in a chair and looked around her new quarters.

---It now made a whole dollar!

It was full of scientific equipment and chemicals and stuff like that.

---The specifics abound!

It wasn't much, but she had seen worse labs back on Cybertron.

---Yeah. Those druggie dens can get pretty sleazy...

Cybertron, now there was one place she wasn't to eager to go back to.

---To eager: (v. intrans.) What eags do when busy. pr.Eager pa.Eagerred.

She actually liked being stuck on this strange planet,

---As much as a kick in the pants.

finally she had a chance at a fresh start.

---Also no income tax.

Mad Jackel sighed. Perhaps it was a mistake to have deleted the ship's file on me, she thought (she still had a copy of it on disk though). No, if the others knew the truth they would never trust me again!

---"I accidentally put the whites in with the colours!"

The young Maximal stood up. All this thinking was giving her a headache, maybe a little walk would help clear her mind.

Rattrap walked down the hallway munching an apple

---Then the juice from it got in some of his wiring and he short-circuited. THE END.

. Suddenly he stopped, he was sure he heard a noise coming from the next hallway.

---"Darn rats. Not that I hate the species though."

The transmetal put down the apple and cautiously looked around the corner only to see a large golden jackal walking toward him.

---Ahh. Only Baal out for his evening stroll.

"Yo MJ," he said addressing Mad Jackel by the nickname Cheetor had given her, "Where you going at this hour?"

---Yo MJ. You gunna parté at the cabaret?

The female had been hoping she wouldn't run into anyone, especially Rattrap. "Why do you want to know?"

---"I'm actually a spy for the other team."

"Well," said Rattrap, trying to be charming, "I was thinking if you didn't have any plans, you and I could spend a little... um... quality time together."

---Let's go fishing!

Mad Jackel converted to robot mode. "What the heck are you taking about?"

---Let's play Candyland!... or foosball.

"You know," the rat moved closer to her, "My quarters, lights dim, just you and me..."

She gave him a disgusted look. "Not even if you were the last male on this planet!"

---But since robots don't have genders, it didn't matter!

She began to walk away.

Rattrap put his arm around her waist. "Aw come on, ain't like you've gotten a better offer."

MJ grabbed him by the neck and shoved him into the wall. "I'm only going to tell you this once, Rattrap; when I say no I mean NO!! Get it?!"

---Have you been in situations like this? If so, call kids help phone. We care.

"Got it," he stuttered

"Good," she let go of his neck and he dropped to the floor, then she walked off.

Rattrap rubbed his neck (his pride was what hurt most though)

---So he rubbed that too.

. He headed back the way he had come and nearly ran right into Livewire who was coming down the hall.

---"Pardon me, but where's the head office?"

He looked at her. Maybe second time's the charm, he thought to himself.

---Which should have been in quotation marks.

Besides, Livewire was closer to his own size anyhow.

---He's not the pickiest in the world.

"Hey Livewire..." he began.

---"I heard this great joke on the radio today!"

"Don't even think about it Ratbreath!"

---I'd think it rather unnatural for a rat NOT to have rat breath.

she said walking right past him.

Rattrap sighed and headed toward his quarters grumbling something about,

---something about commas?

"Lousy #&%@$ females who needs em anyway!!!"

---Especially robots, who could just BUILD offspring.

Dinobot was relaxing in his quarters

---in his housecoat, sipping some tea, reading the paper and having a cozy little stay.

reading a book (which may seem like a unusual thing for him to be doing, but that's the truth)

---Why, hello author.

; his back was turned toward the door. Suddenly the door swished open.

---Knocking Dinobot out of his chair.

He turned to face the intruder and was a little surprised at what he found. Standing in his doorway was a very shapely gold and silver female robot.

---Look, R2D2, just put my Gin and tonic on the end table.

"What are YOU doing here?" he asked Mad Jackel as she stepped into the room closing the door behind her.

"I came to.... talk,"

---Yeah.... that's it.

she said moving toward the chair where he'd been sitting.

---He got up?

She picked up the book and looked at the title.

---"Advanced Crocheting for Dummies?"

"The Red Badge of Courage, interesting choice of reading material."

---A rather odd subtitle there.

Dinobot looked at her suspiciously.

---"Are you trying to sell something?"

"Did you just come here to talk about books or did you have another reason?"

---"I came to eat your soul."

Mad Jackel smiled and put down the book. "Oh I have a reason," she moved closer to him. "You see, I get awfully lonely around here during the nights...."

---Especially with all these people around.

Dinobot was starting to understand what she had come for.

---*wink wink* *nudge nudge*

The fembot put her hand on his chest.

---Hey. If female 'bots are called 'fembots' then are are male 'bots called 'mbots'? It doesn't work!

"....and I was hopping

---Hopping? It's the Easter bunny!

a certain brave, strong, handsome

---rabbit

arrior would be willing to keep me company," she said sweetly pressing up against him.

---Awww. How sweet.

The raptor backed away from her and sat down in his chair

---which he had never got up from.

. "I have no time for your romantic babble," he scowled.

---Hey. Wouldn't robots having sex really keep everyone in the surrounding rooms up? Just wondering.

Mad Jackel leaned down so they were face to face.

---Then she sneezed.

"Really?"

He didn't answer. Mad Jackel kissed him gently on the cheek then headed toward the door swaying her hips.

---Causing her to become unbalanced and she fell over.

She stopped just before the door and turned back to him. "If you reconsider my offer,

---"I'm on the corner of Broadway and Main..."

you know where to find me." The door closed behind her as she left.

Dinobot sighed, he had to admit her offer was somewhat tempting,

---6 CDs for only one penny!

but a warrior like him couldn't be bothered by any kind of relationship.

---Not even a hateful one with his enemies.

Could he?

---I don't know! Why ask me?

Dinobot rubbed his cheek where she had kissed him, he was going to have to give this some thought.

---Lift arm to face. Place hand on cheek. Rub. That's not too much thought.

"According to this information, we my have just found what we've been looking for, yess!"

---We were looking for yess.

Megatron was looking carefully over the data from a small disk.

---"Ha! I even have a backup copy of commander keen on here!"

Quicksrike stood on the platform next to him and Inferno was standing guard nearby.

---Guarding from what?

"I woulda gotten more info," said Quickstrike a little nervously, "but them dang Maximals showed up."

---"Especially since we were getting information on them."

"Do they know about it?"

"I don't reckon so."

---Hyuk.

p>"Good." A wicked smile crossed Megatron's face. "Just think of it,

---Ok. Hmm... It... Yes. I'm thinking about it! Wow! It!

a vast energon deposit waiting for us to come and get it! Yesss!

---He's leaking!

By the time the Maximals figure out what's happening it will be too late!!"

---"They'll figure out that we're not doing anything that could harm them!"

"Shouldn't we send someone to guard the deposit in case them Maximals start snooping around again?" asked the fuzor.

---They never seem to figure out that whenever they put someone to guard, the guard dies.

"I doubt they will try anything tonight, but I will send some of the flyers out in the morning."

---"I'll let them die."

He was actually talking more to himself than to Quickstrike.

---So he never heard him.

"I think I'll keep Inferno here in case something comes up. That just leaves the buzzers,

---At least the prank toys work.

they will do. I believe Sting Blade will be able to keep them in line."

Megatron turned to Quickstrike and Inferno. "You two get some rest- we have much work ahead of us."

---All that work of going to somewhere.

"You got it boss."

"Yes my Queen."

Megatron watched them leave and grinned to himself. "Much work, yess.... Bwhahahahahahahahaha........!!!!!"

---It wasn't THAT funny.