Speedy (noticing narrator): Who's the new guy?

---I sure can tell that it's a different voice, can't you?

Polly: That's Harvey Wippleman, manager turned trouble-shooting referee.

---And part-time narrator.

He
wasn't
seen in the WWF since.

---"He said he left on his own, to run for president."

Speedy: Oh. (turns to Harvey)

---Who wasn't anywhere, since he was just a commanding voice.

Thanks for letting Barry Horowitz win by reverse
decision.

Harvey: My pleasure. (on cue, Francine enters)

Francine: Hi guys. Guess what? 

---Chicken butt.

Speedy, Guido and Polly: What?

Francine: Big Al called.

---He's meeting with his brother Fat Albert.

He said that we have to go to Osaka to meet a strange
man.

---He lives on 4 boding street, Anonymousville.

I think a new enemy is awaiting.

---So we're going to meet him, have tea with him, and find out straight from the man himself.

Speedy: Well what are we waitng for?

---Come on people. What do I pay you for anyway?

( Tranformation/pre-battle scene begins.

---Peel off celophane backing and eat. Throw out garbage.


When
it's over, Francine's on PA.)

---Would Mr. "Strange Man" please report to the head office and prepare for an excruciatingly needless and overproduced fight scene placed in here just because the author thought it would be good?

Francine (on PA)

---We know already!!

: Attention citizens, the Pizza Cats are sent to a special
mission,

---Off to bomb Pizza Hut.

blasting off like a nuculer fission.

---A nuculer fission? Fission is a verb!! Also, it's "NUCLEAR", not nuculer.

3, 2, 1... Blast off! (fires our
heroes out of cannon.)

---Our heroes. How generous.

Harvey: What are heroes don't notice that they

---What ARE heroes doing anyway?

are being watched by a floating
fortress.

---and remember, the walls have eyes.

(scene shifts inside the fortress, where a soldier is watching a
screen.)

---"Hey! Look! I'm on Pizza Cats! Hey wait....."

Soldier: Who are these felines Master Kane?

---This is, by the way, a WWF and PC crossover.

(a fox who is the height and has
the same attire, cape and mask as the wrestler with the same name appers.)

---Hey, but aren't a cape and mask part of attire?

Kane: They are the Samurai Pizza Cats, you robotic fool!

---"I'm just a robot ,my creator, and I'm only as smart as the programmer."

They are the only
obstacle
standing

---Or flying

in our way of stealing this wrecthed planet's energy. (stands up)

---"I IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE ANYONE CAN STEAL THE PLANET'S ENERGY AS EASILY AS PLUGGING A CORD INTO A SOCKET!"

Who
shall
volunter

---volunter?

in stealing energy from our first target:

---Chernobyl

Little Tokyo?

---Why don't they steal from somewhere they KNOW isn't protected? Like Miami.

???: I shall do so.

---You may call me "???" or "?" for short.

(a robotic duck wearing LOD shoulder pads and a big derby
steps
foward.)

---I know I look funny, but I can do it.

Kane: Ah, Duck Hatton. As a rejected robot of Big Cheese, I am giving you

---This award for messing up his plans.

10
chances to steal this town's energy. Your first robot will apper shortly.

---"But wait! I'm a robot aren't I?"

Duck Hatton: I am at your command, sir.

---I am entirely under your command. I have absolutely no sign of either a backbone or will power.

(CM break)

(we see the Pizza Cats in a dark forest)

---Oh, I can tell. Just look at them.

Speedy (scared): Where are we?

---And are squirrels carnivorous?

Guido: We must be in Osaka.

---But maybe we should just ask this nice tree to find of for sure.

Polly: Don't be scared. Besides, acordding to Al, we'll be picked up by a
coach driver

---riding in a BIG pumpkin


by the name...

---of "Death"

(in a scent of comic timing, Polly reaches inside her uniform to
get the
paper, then reads it.)

---Comic timing? I didn't find that at all funny.

Master Landau. (all of a sudden, two men jump out of
the nearby trees.)

---Phew! I've been stuck in there for days.

???: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! (our heroes jumped back)

---being scared of anonymous people.

I have been sent to help
sir,

---Do you know anyone by that name?


and...(rubs hands and smacks lips) your comrades.

---"(Yum Yum) Would you join us for a BBQ?"

May I introduce myself?

---I am "???". "?" for short.

Speedy (scared): Okay. (thinks for a moment) Master Landau?

---I presume?

Master Landau: (jumps foward) Master Landau indeed, sir.

---I am insulted! I am nothing like that ogre!

Concieved in this
place, insweltering with fog.

---I was born a little water vapour.

Rejected by my father untill I was seven.

---When he quickly accepted me back for no good reason.


Discovered inner hatered from my mother untill I was ten.

---When she Finally learned to love me.

It is I who will
take you through the mist in this waiting carriage.

---...through the mist in to the waiting carnage....... I mean this waiting carriage.

Come quickly,

---You don't want to be late for the grand ball!

the night
comes in quickly and it is not wise to be on the road too late.

---With all those rapists and muggers wandering through that empty forest.

(they all walk
over to the carriage.) Hurry my friends. We musn't be late.

---I'm late! I'm late, for a very important date!

(claps, then
thunder strikes.

---That's one heck of a clap on!

He claps again to stop it.)

---Ooops! Well, I just killed our guests. Poop.

Polly (frightend): Master Landau! You frighten us with your urgency.

---Yeah, well, nature's phone rings the loudest.

Master Landau: Urgency's the word, maddam.

---I've been trying to remember it all day!

For you three have come to Osaka:
the edge of Japan.

---And the beginning of "THE ABYSS".

Hiya! (cracks whip at horses, and they're off.)

---Did they just run away?

Harvey: That was a waste of 5 minutes.

---Explaining the story and all. Think about it, we could of skipped the whole story and said "The good guys won agian. THE END".

A few minutes later...

Master Landau: Look my friends, the mansion ahead!

---"Don't get your hopes up though, since that's not the place we're going to."

Speedy: Finally! (our heroes get off the carriage. Then Polly asks Landau a
question.)

Polly: Landau.

---Did you want to go out sometime?

Can you and your friend could help us in the near future?

---I would if I could decipher your sentence.

Master Landau: Maybe. But to me, this as far as I can go.

---My mom has a pretty strict curfew.

You shall enjoy good
food
and machinery at The House of Demento.

---Why would anyone eat machinery?

I will say goodbye to you and your
friends,
and wish you piece of mind

---Well, I'll give YOU a piece of my mind! Heh heh heh.

in this dreadful place. (he and friend, Lan-da-bite
dissaper into the night.)

---Lan-da-bite? Is that when you're fishing and you feel a tug, that's when you land a bite?

---And how do you "dissaper" into the night?

Guido (nervous): Well, lets go in. (they enter the mansion and look around.
Then, a voice breaks their tour.)

---Tour? This sounds like a badly translated fanfic from Japan...

???: Hello, Pizza Cats.

---Oh hi there "???"! Didn't we already meet you in the forest back there???

Speedy: (turns around)

---Quite speedily, I might add.

Who are you?

???:

---I already told you. I'm "???". "?" for short.

Demento. Dr. Barry Demento. I see you guys have come just in time.

---Join our hoe-down!

Follow
me. (the Pizza Cats are following Dr. Demento through a hallway.

---The meal on the table consists of bagels and cheese. The spider on the wall is crawling around. This happened, then that happened. Dick and Jane went to the park. They liked the park. USE MORE CREATIVITY IN YOUR WRITING STYLE!!!

While they're
walking, we are seeing family portraits of Dementos from the past, presant,
and future.

---They've got genetic manipulation perfected and they have planned out all their children for the next 2 centuries.



They stop at Dr. Demento's lab.) Do you know why me and Big Al
have sent you guys here?

---Shouldn't that be BROUGHT you here?

Speedy, Guido and Polly: No.

Dr. Demento (a sweatdrop appers on his forehead.)

---At least they didn't put "he sweatdropped" or "he bigsweated" or something stupid like that.

: Alright. (presses a button
on his
big computer and shows a picture of Kane.

---And his sled "Rosebud".

) This is Kane. He's the leader of an
evil force called The Negaverse.

---Let's just toss in any other anime we can!

Their goal is steal energy on our planet to
give to their dark leader:

---Negaman!

The Negaforce. You three are chossen to defeat

---Chossen: To choss. From the root word Cho. Meaning: NOTHING!! Also see: Dissaper.


these space-pirates' plot to destroy our civilazation.

---Here I am. Just stealing energy. I'm bored. I guess I'll wipe out a civilization while I'm here.

Speedy: We gotta stop 'em!

---Gotta catch 'em all!

Dr. Demento: You got it.

---Finally.

Besides, his henchman, Duck Hatton and his robot of
the day, Blow Hard

---*cough**cough*

are stealing energy in the middle of the city.

---"Actually, it's a bit more to the south, but close to the middle."

Guido: But, how are going to get there in time?

---Since your "meeting" slowed us down.

Dr. Demento: Easy. (shows them five launchers,

---I'll kill you. You can then float your ethereal selves over there.

similer to theirs.)

---Did this guy use a spell check?

Wanna take
it for a spin?

---What? I can't drive it around! It's a launcher! I'll be launched out of it! If I'm taking a "spin" on anything, it would be the air.

Speedy, Guido and Polly: (thinks about it, then gives their answer.)

---Can we lease to own it?

Yea!

Dr. Demento: Then come in then.

---Then then. Then they came in then. Then they were happy then.

There's no time left.

---You're as good as dead. Give up now.

Harvey: Now that's good help.

---Just like momma used to make.

Meanwhile, at Little Tokyo.

Duck Hatton: (grinning evily) Perfect!

---I can finally make a really evil smile!

Now no one can stop us now!

---Now! Now! Now we can take over the world now! How now brown cow! Now!

 

Speedy (from nowhere)

---He must be in my town.

: Guess again, beak brain!

---HEY! Ducks don't have beaks!

 

Duck Hatton: Who is that?

---Yet another new narrator!

Blow Hard: Beats me.

---*cough**cough**ahem!*

I don't see him.

---Well, back to work.

(CM Break)

---Oh! It's Mr. CMBREAK!

(all the cats do their respected intros)

---Who respects them? And for what?

Guido: Looks like you need an attitude adjustment courtesy of Guido Anchovie.

---Pain will be transferred via MY FIST!!

Polly: Our new mission is to fight the Negaverse,

--And to promote the posiverse!

and to kiss them

---A brutal war. They must continue to fight, but they love those they must destroy.

(blows
kiss) goodbye.

Speedy: You cannot steal our town's energy. Besides, it's not very nice.

---"We can't? Then why did we even come here?".

---You can't do that! And we don't want you to either!

All 3: Pizza Cats!!!!!!!!!!!

Duck Hatton: Grrrr. Nobody calls me beak face and gets away with it!

---It's a bill!

Blow Hard
engage wind mode pronto!

---And there will be a nice little wedding and everything.

Blow Hard: Yes sir!

---(Snazzin Frazzin big shot boss guy. I'll show him up sometime.)

(uses fan on hands to blow our heroes in three separate
screen shots.)

---But don't let that fool you! That doesn't mean that they are far apart from each other.

One more shoot you're flying to...(then, from out of nowhere,

---A big ship came from the sky and killed them all. THE END.


Speedy kicks him in the head.)

---From far away.

Speedy: Now you've gone and ticked me off.

---Doggone it! Why did you have to make me angry?

Now you'll pay! (goes into Cat's
Eye Slash sequnce)

---Where everybody cuts themself in the eye.

Harvey: This the moment we've all been...

---Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight only! The one.....The only.....Adam West!

(gets inturuppted)

Master Landau: Let me handle this!

---(NO WAIT! DON'T LET HIM DO IT!!)

Everyone: What?!

Master Landau: (Finishing move: Spins his whip around and around untill

---It hits an innocent bystander. (Untill?)

a
green orb
appers.)

---Well, he'll be swinging that thing around for a while.

Rot in Heck, fan head!

---Don't you just hate those crazed fans?

Hiya! (it lands on Blow Hard, and he
explodes.)

---I hate to play marbles with that guy!

Duck Hatton: That was my first chance!

---Now for my second!

I'll get all of you yet! (pulls dearby
down on his body and dissapers along with his dearby.)

---I think his super move kind of backfired there.

Speedy (in victory pose): Don't come back now, ya hear?

---Hyuk Hyuk!

Guido and Polly (in their victory poses): Ta-da!

Master Landau (victory pose: same as Spritz T. Cat): Goodnight nurse!

---Did you remember my medication?

Harvey: Our heroes are enjoying their victory with their new friends at the

---Local Disco!


Pizza Parlor.

Polly: We really like to thank the three of you for helping us out.

---So we are rewarding you with this pizza.

Dr. Demento: Well, it's all part of the plan.

---TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! AHAHAHAHA!

(Francine enters)

Francine: Want some pepperoni pizza with Coca-Cola on the side?

---I accidentally spilled some on it, but only on this one side.

Dr. Demento: Yes please.

Speedy: Hey Harvey. Why don't you come down here and eat with us?

---You big voice.

Harvey: Okay. Hold on a minute.

---Just have to transfer my being into a cartoon and... *pop* here I am!

(walks down with headset to our heroes. He
appers
to be human

---Actually, he never looked human so it was hard to tell.

{first time it happen in anime}

---Not the first time for a spelling mistake either.

.) Well, what do you think?

Guido: Wow! (touches Harvey's arm) You're real?

---And maybe if we clap hard enough, Tinkerbell will come back to life.

Harvey: In the flesh. Now, as we pig out, we must say ta-ta for now.

---Now as we are here, we have to leave. Bye.

(takes a
bite on the pizza.) Nice pizza.

---Tastes like coke.

Francine: Thank you. (turns to audience)

---I love you all!

Bye.

THE END

Here are some profiles:

---Just for the heck of it. They're here, for no good reason.

1.Mater Landau:

Japanese Name: Vladimer

Voice:

---Dracula.

Johnathan Inwood

Finishing move: Osaka Whip Crack

---Fatality:

2.Lan-da-bite

Japanese name:

---Fish

Ishri

Voice:

---The voices... The voices....

Terrence Scammel

Finishing move: None

---The poor sap.

3.Dr. Barry Demento:

Japanese Name:

---Dr. Olive Pimento

Doc Sonny Yosha

Voice: Himself

Finishing move:

---Toss computer.

None

4.Master Kane:

Japanese Name: Hades

---"Hi everyone! I'm the incarnation of evil! Who are all of you?

Voice: Harry Shearer

Finishing move: Hellfire and Brimstone

---He actually just tosses a match on some paper and throws it at them.

5.Duck Hatton:

Japanese Name: Zio

Voice: Tony Anselmo

Finishing move:

---"Dissappear into hat" gag.

Derby Slice



---Well, that was a hard one to MST. Look at the source and see what I had to deal with. That is why I hate HTML editors.