Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.
-William Shakespeare
"Ecch. There's nothing good on TV,"
---Except "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000!".
Minako said as she tossed the remote control on to the couch.
---And it bounced off and hit the wall.
"Well, you can read one of my books," Ami said, not looking up from the chess game she and Mako-chan were playing. "Check."
---Ok. I will check the books.... Oh, you mean... chess...
"Uh, I don't think so." She got up, stretched. "Well don't you have any video games or something?"
---With cool games like "EARTHBOUND"?
"I don't play video games, Minako.
---What? WHY NOT?!?
Hmm. I didn't see that rook over there."
---Because there is a pawn blocking my view.
"Uh, okay, you don't mind if I just look around your house? I've never really seen it all before."
---I'm gotta find the can...
"Sure, Minako, but it's not really that great of a house."
"Yeah, but it's still huge compared to mine! For only two people, too!" Minako spread her arms out to drive her point home.
---Uh... that sounds almost unrelated.
"If you say so. Oops. I guess I shouldn't have moved it over there." Ami cupped her chin.
---It was falling off.
"Just a second, Mako-chan. Minako, if it interests you, my mother presses wine in her free time."
---She's really a drunk!
She turned her attention back to the game. "She's got a bunch of bottles of it in our basement. I don't know if you know a lot about wines, but-"
---wine doesn't have a butt.
"Your mom makes wine? Wow!"
---How strong?
Minako turned around and headed for the basement stairs. "You don't mind if I have a look? Or maybe a taste?"
---Or a quart?
This caused both Mako-chan and Ami to look up.
---I see the light!
"You drink wine, Minako?"
"Sure! My parents used to take me to parties all the time with them,
---First time I was drunk was at ol' uncle Frank's New Year's when I was 4.
so I sort of picked up a taste for the stuff. I'm what you'd call a 'connesieur'." At the last part she tilted up her nose and 'hmph'ed.
---Blowing a big one on the carpet.
"Okay, Minako. I think my mom left a corkscrew down there and one of those fork things. What do you use those for, anyway?"
---Stabbing.
"Huh! You, Ami Mizuno, doesn't know what something is used for?" Makoto joked.
"I think it's used to see how good the wine would sound,"
---If it was put up to a microphone.
Minako cheerfully said, but she was met with blank stares. "You know, if it sounds good, it- umm- I'll just go downstairs, ok?"
---It- umm- does stuff- and- you know- it does that thing- with the noise- you know-...
She bounded downstairs.
---Braking every stair on her way down.
"Well. You certainly learn something new everyday,"
---Except on school days.
Ami said as she shook her head.
---Causing it to fall off. THE END.
"Don't tell me you actually believe her about the fork thing?"
---You know- the fork thing- she said- it did stuff- you know- ding- uh....
"No, about her and her wine thing. She certainly doesn't look like it."
---She looked more like a smoker to me.
Mako just shrugged. "You'd be surprised. She can pick locks, too. She does it to mine everytime she visits my apartment!"
---She MULTITALENTED!
"Oh, which reminds me. Thanks for you and Minako coming over tonight."
---Cannables have a real hard time getting guests.
"Don't mention it, Ami. Especially with those strings of break-ins in this neighborhood, it's kind of unnerving.
---Only kind of, though.
But with us around, nobody's gonna even try breaking into this place, no matter how promising it looks. Or else..." Mako had a slight grin as she let small arcs of electricity engulf the pawn she was holding.
---YEEEEEEEOUCH! "wow. first time I heard a chess piece speak."
Ami sighed. "It's good to know I have people I can trust."
---And people who can fry you with electricity from their fingers.
Ami creaked open the door
---While it creaked on it's own strength.
leading to the basement and hopped down the steps to the floor. Despite it being a basement, it was adequately furbished, with soft blue wall-to-wall carpeting and elegant cream lighting bouncing of walls of the same color.
---It actually looked like an insane asylum.
She made her way to the common room, with had a small television set along with a bar counter that ran along the side.
---And a Big Circle in the middle for her "sessions".
Behind it was a sink as well as the mirrored shelf where Ami's mother kept all the bottles of wine she pressed, along with a few glasses.
---Which she also pressed.
She noticed a bottle and a glass missing. Uh oh.
---Someone's getting drunk...
She was worried.
---And drunk.
Makoto had gone to take a shower in her bedroom's personal washroom, so she was left to go check up on Minako. It had been an hour since she had gone down there.
---The room of NO RETURN!
Ami called out, "Min-"
A ting sound cuased her to start, and she turned around to see Minako laying on the couch, a nearly drained bottle of wine in one sweaty hand and a drained glass in the other.
---And they just stood there.
She looked at Ami with glazed-over eyes and a lewd smile.
"God, Minako, you scared me!"
"Tin foil giftbox," Minako slurred.
"What?"
---TIN FOIL GIFTBOX! TINFOIL GIFT BOX! LISTEN NEXT TIME I SPEAK GIBBERISH!
"Hey Am-amAmi! Guess what? I'm the champion of asparagus!" She held up the tuning fork in one hand. "I am Sailor Pen-"
---sion.
"Oh god, Minako, what did you do?" Ami interrupted as she ran to her side. "Are you okay?" She held her hand to Minako's red forehead. It was buning hot. "Come on, Minako, let's get you some cold water." She slipped an arm under her to prop her up.
---And broke her back. THE END.
"N-no! I don' wanna." She giggled, which turned into insane laughter. "I've been thinking Ami Ami. Ami!"
---You shouldn't think Ami Ami Ami.
"Come on."
Minako suddenly grabbed the front of Ami's blouse and pulled her down. "Why?"
"What? Look, Minako, you're hurting-"
"I'm the senshh- shhhi of love, Ami. But nobody loves me!" She laughed again, but then all of a sudden her voice cracked
---She just suddenly went through puberty.
and she broke down into tears and uncontrollable sobs. "Nobody loves me!"
---Everybody hates me. I'm going out to eat worms.
Ami was rigid for a moment, then gently pulled the other girl into an embrace. "Shh. that's not true, Minako. We do."
"I'm ugly!"
---Yes. really ugly and we all hate you. Now hurry up and finish the fanfic.
"No, you're not."
"I am!"
"No."
Minako pulled away and looked at Ami. "You're very lovely."
---Uh....
"What?"
She had stopped crying, but now she was looking Ami with a blank expression. "Pretty. You're very pretty. Your hair." Minako began to run a hand through Ami's hair.
---I think I'm going to ... uh... uh.... I don't think I want to read this.
It must be the wine, Ami thought. "Look Minako, let's get you to bed so you can sleep."
"You said you love me."
"Yes, I do, but-"
"Then show me," Minako said.
"You don't-"
"Show me!" Minako suddenly grabbed her arms and threw her down on to the floor, then lay down on top of her.
---Spawnoft has left the fanfic. (but will return soon.)
"Showmeshowmeshowme!" She kissed Ami savagely, harshly.
Ami managed to break the kiss, which had left her gasping for air. The stench of alcohol filled her nostrils. "Minako, please!" She tried to push her off, but she reacted by pinning her arms to her sides.
"Showme!" She was screaming now, her face a beet red, her eyes misty, streams of tears spilling down her cheeks. Then she bent down again as began to kiss and bite her neck like an animal. All Ami could do was scream as Minako began to rip her blouse off.
The golden-haired woman stood at the center of the garden, taking a deep breath and taking in the heady scents of the flowers and blossoms around her.
---Uh... Where is this?
She had done a good job, she decided, and now the essences of these blossoms could be extracted to make the finest perfumes.
---With the quality you desreve at the price you want.
She knelt down beside a little stream and picked a few small bamboo stems that were sprouting there. Cupid could make good use of them for his arrows.
---Or he could just hit people with them.
"So there you are."
---Yes I am here. Who am I?
It was then that she became aware of the shadow upon her. She turned around and looked up.
---It was the Friendly Giant!
A tall, muscular man was standing- no- hovering
---He was standing in a no- hovering zone.
there with the aid of small wings at his feet. He was draped in a white robe and a silver helmet with the likeiness of the same wings on his feet forged upon it. He wore a dark expression, unlike his character. She didn't let it faze her, nothing really did. "Why hello, Mercury."
---Why? I dunno.
"Don't 'hello' me. Don't try to act innocent, either."
---I know you cheated at Monopoly.
"I don't understand."
"Like hell you don't, Venus. Another one of your perverted games, huh?
---Like uh... Monopoly.
like 'let's scar the senshi for life' game?
---I'm not farmiliar with that one...
I don't find it amusing at all."
"Look, brother, you're making no sense whatsoever. Come, sit down, and why don't you tell me about it." She smiled and patted the grass next to her.
---It felt special now.
Grumbling, Mercury sat down and stared at his feet for a minute before telling it the way it was.
---He had Fleuvog shoes on.
"Oh, my," Venus said when he finished. "This is very upsetting."
---Yes. Now, repeat it.
"Like hell it is. Doesn't your senshi have any self-control? What is the matter with you people anyways?
---All of you one person here.
Why does everybody but me have to make a bubbly, over-indulging senshi? Why not a more sensible one like mine?"
---What about my wants. MY NEEDS?
He stood up and pointed at her "And the worst part is, you won't even let me have that! Damnit!" Frustrated, took off his helmet and ran a hand through his hair.
---He had horrible hat hair.
"Look, Mercury. First of all, I'm terribly sorry that this had happened. And to yours, too. But you must believe me when I say that I had no knowledge of this at all, nor did I ever want her to do something like this.
---I did not sleep with Monica Lewinsky.
You know as much as I do, that love can't be expressed that way. And please, sit, it'll help you calm down."
---Have some coffee.
Mercury took a seat again. "What am I supposed to do now?"
Venus sighed. "We go ask Dionysus."
---Dionieseys... I mean Deeeonsus, I mean.... Awww heck.
He looked at her with puzzlement, then slapped his forehead.
---Duhhhhhh.
"Of course! The god of wine!"
---A.K.A. GRAPEMAN!!!!
He got up again, then placed his silver helm on his head. "Oooh, the nerve of that moron. What the hell does he think he's doing. He's gone too far!"
---All the way to Borneo. That is far.
"I'm coming too. Remember he's the one that got my senshi." She guestured with her arms,
---Like the power rangers.
and a cloud of mist settled around her feet.
---Because of the smell of her shoes.
Mercury flexed his wings, then took off, saying "And try to keep up with me!"
Look at her. Like nothing happened.
Minako, singing and laughing.
---At the same time.
Like nothing happened.
Ami walked at a sedate pace behind the rest of her friends, her books pressed protectively against her chest. Her throat felt raw from all the crying she had done last night, after Makoto and Minako left.
---She stayed up and watched TITANIC.
Mako was in she shower, so she didn't her her cries for help, but it didn't matter because the deed was done in a matter of minutes and rather messily too, with Minako passing out on top of her.
But look at her now.
---I did it! Now look at me!
Like nothing happened! She felt the first traces of tears beginning to brim at her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away as the four girls ahead of her went into a coffee shop. She went in, too.
---And they had coffee.
They all took a booth by the windows.
---It was all foggy and cracked and had the number 98 on it.
She knew that they would notice if she sat down all by herself somewhere else, so she slipped her way in and took a seat next to the window, beside Mako. She placed her books on the table between her and the rest of them,
---Read all of these books in a week. I demand a full 5 page essay when you're done.
feeling somewhat better by the barrier between them.
A picture she had been using as a bookmark slipped out of one of the books she was carrying with her, into her lap. It was a picture of Urawa, pristine as ever.
---Oh yeah. This is after he just got mashed up in the BRITA factory...
All of a sudden, she wished he was there with her, so she could rest her head on his comforting shoulder and cry all her troubles away. He would understand-
--- he would be brave, he would be smart, he would make things right.
No, she told herself. I'm being unrealistic. She quickly put the photo back in it's place and then stared out at the window into the happy street.
---It's DISNEY LANE!
She felt detached.
---Because her head just fell off.
"Ami." She felt a hand on hers, and looked up across the table, at her. The other three girls were sitting in the booth next to them, now, although she didn't realize that she had gotten up and moved.
---She needs to pay more attention.
She noticed that Minako wasn't smiling anymore. Far from it.
"It was the Dark Kingdom," Ami began. "That's it. They somehow found you, and they took you over, and-"`
---Sold you into slave labor.
"No, Ami."
"Mind control, wasn't it? Some evil force wanted to take over your-"
---unfinished sentence.
"God, I'm so sorry, Ami." Her voice began to crack.
"I know! It's wasn't you, was it? Some youmma came, and took your form-"
"Please, Ami! Please!" Minako squeezed Ami's hand tight.
---Crushing every bone in it.
"Monsters! That's"
---another unfinished sentence.
"Ami!" She held her head in one hand, tears dripping onto the polished table.
---The janitor WON'T be happy.
Her sobs had caught the attention of nearly everyone in the shop, and a few were buzzing with concern. Usagi and Rei ran to comfort Minako, but Ami tore away from her hand and walked out of the shop mumbling to herself. "It wasn't her. It wasn't her."
"Minako, what's wrong?" Rei shook her.
---Do the Hokey Pokey and turn your self about...
"I'm a bad person. Very bad.
"Very bad."
---Definitely bad. Definitely definitely bad.
"...So the bartender comes back from the stock room with the magic lamp the guy gave him and says, 'Hey, pal. I asked for a million bucks and the genie gave me a million ducks!' so the guy points at the little piano player on the table and says, 'Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?' Dionysus broke into laughter at his own joke before popping a grape into his mouth.
---And spitting it out in little chunks at people passing by.
"Ahem."
He looked around, and frowned at his unannounced visitors. "What do you want," he grumbled.
"Just a few words with you, that's all."
---And talk is cheap so don't expect much of a profit.
Venus had on one of those scary smiles.
---She bought it from the local joke shop.
"Allright." He waved his hand, and the nymphs draped on and around him got up and pranced back into the foilage of the grape vines.
"As soon as they had dissapeared, Mercury exploded.
---Leaving a REALLY BIG mess all around.
"You son of a bitch. I oughta clock you right now. I swear-"
---By the moon and the stars in the sky...
Venus cut him off.
---Your call has been forwarded to an automatic answering machine.
"Please, brother. Dionysus, do you have any idea what you just did?"
Dionysus stood up and looked her stright in the eye.
---You have an eyelash stuck in your eye.
"Let me tell you something.
---My pants are on backwards.
What the hell makes you think that your senshi are untouchable? I mean, what, they're not allowed to indulge themselves every so often?"
---No. I have them on a strict diet of rice and gruel.
His eyes narrowed before continuing. "Face it. Mercury's senshi got hers, and so did yours. Don't tell me that Mercury's hasn't been dying for a piece for so long, and well, if it weren't for your senshi's parents, Venus, I'd have her pinned as a regular visitor."
Mercury was steamed. "Why you arrogant-"
"Don't start with me."
---Talk to the hand.
"Do you have any f****** idea what's going on in her mind now?
---"uh... recipe swapping?"
I suppose you don't, with you and your bimbos hanging off you all day keep you from thinking about anything serious.
---Like coffee.
You wouldn't know about pain; mine knows more about it than you ever could.
---EVER!!!
"
Dionysus sneered, and attemped to fight off Mercury's heat with an excuse. "Well, what's done is done. I suggest you go and live with it."
---sucker.
"You had better watch your step around here from now on," Venus warned.
---My pet Ralph just did his duty on the grass here.
"Jupiter's not going to be very-" She stopped in mid sentence and looked at Mercury. He had sensed the same thing, because he was already staring back at her.
---Let's have a staring contest!
"I have to go." Mercury whirled around and took off.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
---No it isn't.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them.
---What's with these?
She had a long time to think about it.
---6-8 weeks.
She had thought about it when her father first started coming up to her room every night. She had thought about it when she blamed herself for her parents messy divorce,
for the reason why her mother began paying more attention to her job than to her only daughter.
---And to think her job is being a Family Psychiatrist
When she became a latchkey kid, living out days, sometimes weeks on end alone in the big big house, having nothing but memories of a past too painful to remember but too painful to forget.
---Now she's really in a pickle!
She had thought about it when she saw her friends die, one by one, before she had her own turn. She had got a preview, in fact. It was so peaceful.
---Some guy came up and said "You're gonna die someday."
This was just the capstone, the be all and end all.
To die-to sleep-
---hey! Don't forget Eat!
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die-to sleep.
---Uh... Ok.
She found herself at the bridge already, staring down at the waters so far below.
---It looked wet.
It was night; there was no traffic in either direction; the only pedestrian some young man with a black jacket that stared at her as he slowly walked past.
---But you wouldn't know because he had sun glasses on.
She was a victim; she had been her entire life. She was the bait, the young vulnerable girl, the shy quiet one.
---She was a victim of Child abuse. Don't let your child go through this please dial blah blah blah...
How often had it been shoved in front of her face?
---Weekly.
She had lost count; not that there was any point to count in the first place.
---Or last place.
Her intelligence was a sick joke that someone played on her when she was born,
---A sick joke concerning army testing.
as was her stunning beauty. It was a twisted paradox; because of one, she could not use the other. Just like her life. How fitting.
To sleep-perchance to dream; ay, there's the rub!
---A little lower please.
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffed off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
---Hey Author. These things don't add to the atmosphere!
Urawa? No, she mustn't think about him;
---He mommy said so.
it was nothing serious, she told herself over and over, but she couldn't bring herself to believe it. He loves me,
---He loves me not.
and I shouldn't do this. No. He'll move on, after time, and he'll find someone better than me. I'm a victim. No one loves a victim.
---Unless their also a victim.
She climbed up and stood on the rail of the bridge, the winds whipping her short hair about her. The water. How poetically perfect. She took out the picture which she had in her pocket and looked at it for a good five minutes.
---She timed it.
She kissed it then, all over, bursting into tears.
---Smearing the picture.
She undid the top button of her blouse and placed the picture inside. My regards, Urawa.
Then she focused herself on the task at hand.
---Killing herself.
Just like her swimming teacher had told her so long ago... Breathe in, breathe out. Arms stright out.
---HEY! It rhymes.
She looked down again. The waves were crashing. Good. The undertow will pull me under quickly. Short and sweet. She took a deep breath.
"AMI!"
---The yell surprised her and she fell off the bridge. THE END.
She looked behind her.
---Can you direct me to the free way. I think I can make it from there.
Minako and Mako were running towards her as fast as they could, Rei's face stone cold as she stood beside Usagi at the foot of the bridge, who was crying her heart out.
She just gave them all a sad smile. "Thus conscience makes cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn away
---Sicklied?
And lose the name of action." With that, she jumped and closed her eyes as the murky depths raced towards her.
---Which will get to her first.
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
"AMI!" Minako screamed as she stopped dead in her tracks and dropped to her knees, pounding the pavement.
---And breaking her hand.
"Minako!" Mako-chan ran to her side and tried to grab her hands, which had found a new target in Makoto's chest and now began pounding on her.
"I killed her, Mako! I killed her!"
---Aren't you proud?
"Oh god, no, quiet, Minako! Quiet!"
"I KILLED HER!" She lost all her anger all of a sudden as she collapsed into her arms and wailed. Makoto pressed her close as she rocked her, gently.
---Rocked around the clock.
Rei and Usagi ran to them and they all held on to each other.
They didn't move for a good hour.
---and people stared.
So this is death.
---No very fancy but it's home.
Ami blinked once to adjust her eyes to the sheer whiteness that surrounded her. A mist hugged close to the ground, swirling slowly, filling Ami's nostrils with the scent of vanilla.
---If it's not chocolate, then it can't be paradise.
She propped herself up on her knees, then stood to her feet. Placing a hand over her brow,
---She had a fever.
she scanned as far as she could, but all there was, was whiteness. She frowned.
---"HELP!! I'M STUCK IN THE ARCTIC!
Is this all there is? Do I have to wait for someone? Her throughts were interrupted by the sound of someone softly crying behind her. Turning around she saw a man dressed in a black jacket and jeans, a silver helmet on his head, and miniature wings on his feet.
---Kid Icarus when he grows up.
Oh my god... She stood there for a minute before she uttered the word.
"Mercury..."
---It's a metal.
The coffee was cold and covered in a layer of dust.
---That's pretty old coffee there.
But Minako still stared into it.
I am the senshi of love.
---And don't you forget it!
The clock ticked on the wall. Rei, Mako and Usagi shuffled thier feet.
I killed her.
---I killed the wicked witch of the west.
There wasn't anything else. She raped her. She jumped. She killed her. And she was the senshi of love.
Beautiful. Intelligent. Cheerful. Bright. Wonderful. I ended it all.
"Any word from the police yet?" Rei asked not too enthusiastically.
---Yeah. I'm in for life.
"No. They searched the entire bay, they still can't find the body," Makoto replied in a dull monotone.
---In a dull monotone? A dull monotone what?
"Did you call Urawa?"
"Yes. He's on his way now."
"Excuse me. I need to get some more coffee," Minako said as she pushed the chair away and went into the kitchen. Nobody said a word.
---They were playing charades.
She was in the kitchen, and she knew what she had to do.
---Make coffee.
An eye for an eye.
Beautifulintelligentbrightwonderful she had taken it all away. It was only fair. She opened the drawer, and picked out a sharp one.
---This is a sharp drawer. Maybe I can kill myself with this.
One that would cut the deepest and give her the most pain. It was only fair.
She looked at it, then began to glide the tip over points on her body. Jugular. Chest. Stomach. Stomach it is.
She looked around, and her eyes came to rest on the group picture of the five of them taped to Miakoto's fridge.
--- Why were they taped to the fridge?
She saw her- smiling right back, those wonderful blue eyes shining at her.
She drew in a deep breath, then pointed the tip of the blade at herself.
---Ready... Aim....
I'm coming, Ami. And then I'll tell you how sorry I am. She thrusted in.
---But missed.
She didn't see the golden-haired woman, but she was there,
---she could smell her.
gripping the hand that held the butcher knife quivering only a scant inch from her stomach.
"Let go!" she kept screaming as she thrashed around, trying to pull herself into the blade, but in vain. The woman's grip was inhumanly strong.
---She was an ALIEN.
"Child, let go of the knife, please."
---I need it to cut some steak.
The voice was soft, soothing, like a dear mother's.
---But she still stank.
Enough to make her weaken her grip on it, enough to allow the woman to wrench it away.
Then the reality of what she had to to returned into her, and she struggled against the woman, but she dissapeared in an orange flash.
---And left the scent of oranges in the air.
Seeing the knife clatter on the floor, she bent to pick it up, but another pair of hands restrained her, this one belonging to a head of auburn hair.
Another pair grabbed at her, and another, shouting at her to stop this madness.
---THE VOICES!!
They pushed her to the floor, pinned her arms to her sides, and shook her fiercely. The sensory overload was too much for her, and everything dissolved into blackness.
---It is safe to shut down your computer now.
"...What you were thinking, was so true... I'm sorry." Mercury held his head in in hands, his weeping muffled echoing off the white around them.
---even though there were no walls.
Ami didn't know how to react.
---So she punched him.
She remembered seeing her god once before, right when she was born. Even at such a young age, she knew who he was and what he represented.
---He represents the Mercury & Sons Insurance company.
He stood there, beside her mother and father, but only she could see him. On his face was the brightest smile that she would remember her entire life.
---But she couldn't remember it now that she was dead.
But there was no trace of it in him now.
"I- I tried to make a senshi that would be totally unique," he continued. "All the others were making senshi in the images of warriors, having immense power and speed. But not me,"
---I wanted a REAL WIMP!
he said, the sarcasm in his voice getting thick. "I figured, hey, why not make someone who relied on brains rather than brawn? So I did.
---But you're not her.
"But I didn't know what I was getting myself into, did I?" He brought his head up and looked straight at Ami.
---You have something in your teeth.
She had never seen a god cry before, but now she wish she didn't. For pain to be reflected in a human's eyes was one thing, but for pain that came from the eyes of a man that has seen and been everything, was something different entirely. "And I acted like such an arrogant fool.
---Because I was.
Throughout all the years I watched and did nothing. I let the gods manipulate you, everyone, but I still watched.
---It was entertaining.
Pluto told me not to get mixed up with the humans and I believed him. But now I know, Ami."
"I don't know what-"
"But I don't want you dead!" Mercury reached out and grabbed her by the arms.
"You mean..."
---We're getting married!
"I was that man on the bridge, Ami. I knew what you were going to do. After you jumped, I flew under the bridge and caught you, to bring you here."
---The land of white chocolate.
"Where is here?"
---Three blocks from your house.
"This is a place only me, Venus, Uranus and Neptune know about. It's nothing, or the absence of nothing, or whatever.
---I still haven't figured all that out.
I came here so that the only two people would be you and me, and nothing else."
"Why?"
"I want you to punish me, Mizuno."
---Uh........
"What?"
"I don't care what the rest of us say, we are not better than any of you. I was an idiot to think that I was. Ami, no one should have gone through what you did, for so long.
---No one but YOU!
I'm responsible, and I should be accountable." He sraightened up, and looked away. "Go ahead.
---leave.
I've deliberately weakened myself for a while. Use your Aqua Illusion or whatever it is you call it."
Ami was stunned. "I- I can't."
"You have to."
"No she doesn't," came a voice from all around. An orange flash, and Venus was standing between the two of them.
---With the fresh scent of oranges.
"Mercury, she's going back now."
"No! She has to-"
"Nobody is punishing anybody!" Venus snapped with an authority that was completely alien to her. She took a moment to regain her composure, then continued. "This has gone far enough. We should have nipped this thing in the bud instead of playing the blame game."
---Murcury, bo burcury, fi fy fo ferucury, murcury.
Mercury glared at her for a moment, then lowered his eyes. "You... You're right, sis."
Ami looked at the woman with uncertainty. "I can't go back. I can't face them again."
---They always win.
Venus turned and looked at her with a sad face. "Ami," she said in a soft tone, "Minako tried to kill herself."
"No..."
---YES!!!!
"She did it because she thinks you're dead, and she blames herself for it. I've never seen my senshi so depressed and suicidal before, Ami. And she's the senshi of love. Frankly, I'm not so sure of what to do. But I know of one thing. You have to go back."
---Ok. so I do know what to do.
"I-"
---I love you.
"I know how you feel, Ami. But there are people down there who love you, more than anything else.
---Except pizza.
Your friends. I'm not so sure what they'll do if you don't go back. Minako. She's the one I worry about, because I can't come to her rescue every time you cross her mind,
---Actually I could but that would get quite tedious.
which is more than I can count.
---1...2...3...4...uh.... what's after 4?
Sooner or later, she'll do it."
Ami began to cry. She knew who was coming next, and crossed the palms of her hands over her chest to keep it away from sight and mind.
---Out of sight, out of mind!.
"I'm sorry, Ami. But I have to." Venus carefully reached out and pried Ami's small hands from her chest, then slowly took out the picture. "Look at it, Ami."
---You smudged it.
She cried harder as Venus took the small girl into an embrace "Shh. I know."
"He loves me, and I left him," she wailed.
"But you can fix it, Ami. Go back."
---Step toward the light.
Ami lifted her head from Venus' shoulder and looked at Mercury, who solemly nodded his head. "Everything gets better, starting now. The nightmare is over."
Minako sat on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall.
---It had very interesting wall paper.
Beside her, Makoto was pretending to be asleep, she knew that. Now that the others had gone home, she was left to watch over her and make sure she didn't leave her sight, not after what she had tried to do.
The doorbell rang.
---Which means someone's at the door.
After a moment, Makoto got up and headed out the bedroom. "You coming?"
Minako shook her head.
"Stay put. Do you promise?"
She said nothing.
---I take that as a yes.
"Minako-"
"I promise."
"Good. I'll be just a second." She slipped into the hallway.
---And it hurt.
They're not going to be watching me forever. I have to pay for what I did.
---Let's see. I have $30 in the bank and $4 at home....
Minako began to think of the many different ways. Locked in a garage, car running. Nope. I don't have a car. Turn on propane gas on stove and leave it. No, no. Makoto doesn't have a gas stove. Shot. Too loud. Jump out of window. Yes. I can do it now, she thought as she turned her attention to the window in the bedroom, seven stories up from the ground. She licked her lips as she moved off the bed and to the sill. If I can do it quickly, I-
---I believe I can fly.
"There won't be any more of that, Minako."
It was that same voice she heard before, seeming to coax her away from the glass. She didn't want to turn around. "No, I'm going to, and you can't stop me. I'm going to pay for what I've done." She slid the window open.
---It's nice out.
"Minako."
God, no it can't be. I'm going crazy. That's it.
---Now that I'm crazy, I guess I have to act crazy too.
Don't listen-
Her voice, a barely husky whisper. "It's me."
---The landlord.
She- no,
---She- no. Any relation to She- Ra?
her body turned around and saw them in the doorway.
---Ok. Let me get this strait. She isn't her body. Her body is it's own and it just turned around.
The first one was Makoto. The second one was the gold-haired woman.
---Darn it. I keep forgetting her name.
The third was-
---The landlord.
She glided over to Minako and getly led her by the hand away from the windowsill. then they both looked at each other as the other two looked on in the doorway, Makoto still with a look of awe on her face, the gold-haired woman with a bright smile on hers.
All was silent.
---You may proceed with the ceremony.
Minako broke it as she crushed Ami in her arms,
---I broke both the silence and Ami. Man am I destructive.
crying. "You're alive! You're alive!"
---IT'S FRANKENSTEIN!!!
Dionysus stretched as he pulled himself to a sitting position on his hammock,
---Causing it to swing uncontrollably.
trying to get the sleep from his bones. He yawned and then stood up.
---On his hammock.
He wondered for a moment where all his nymphs were, then remembered that they were usually playing in the grapevines at this hour.
---It was 3 in the morning. He's got to have a chat with them about those late night parties.
He left the quiet forest glade where he took his nap, then walked through the forest towards the grapevines.
---I heard it through the grapevine.
He didn't hear any nymphs laughing or singing as he got closer, though. What could they be up to, he wondered as he pushed away the final branch and entered the vineyard.
---Oh. There they were. They were just dead.
Are they- Oh no.
---How many sentences can the author NOT finish?
The vineyard, or at least what used to be the vineyard, was a rotting mess.
---They're grapes. They Ferment.
The grapes were not robust purple orbs hanging from the plants, but brownish slime which littered the ground.
---Are you sure those were grapes in the first place?
The entire yard smelled of rotten fruit, and there were flies buzzing everywhere.
My grapes. My beautiful grapes! He ran down rows and rows but found the same results. What could have done this?
---Darn those 3 tonne fruit flies.
His eyes caught a corner of parchment jammed into a vine, and he pulled it out, unfolded it, and read it. It was a note.
---Please excuse the inconveinience.
- the three tonne fruit flies.
Dear Dionysus,
Venus and Mercury told me about you and your reckless ways with the senshi. You simply don't realize when you've gone too far, do you? Maybe you should learn.
---Maybe. I'm not sure yet.
P.S. This is my two cents' worth.
Love,
Demeter
---And he also found 2 cents inside the envelope.
Dionysus stared at the note in disbelief.
"BAH!" he spat as he crumpled up the parchment and angrily tossed it over his shoulder, stalking away. I get no respect.
---At least now they can't have any wine ever again.
The police boats had stopped searching an hour ago, but Urawa still sayed there on the docks. The wind coming across from the bay slapped his face.
---You jerk.
He didn't want to leave.
He didn't know what to do next. There wasn't really anything else, was there?
---I'm not sure. Get a life.
To go home to parents that don't love him as much as he had thought? Who did love him, at all?
---Not the bank. That was for sure.
She did.
She did, and now she's gone. Just like that.
"It's unfair," he said to the bay. "It's your fault!"
---NOW ANSWER ME!!!
Yes, it was the bay that stole her from him. Yes. The bay. He had something to blame.
---Take this you... you.... bay.
That smell... A faint floral scent, so beautiful.
That was her scent.
God, I'm going nuts...
---Something smells like pecans.
He shook his head, but the smell lingered. Was stronger, even. Why am I torturing myself?
---Or is it even me?
He felt something at his waist.
---It was his belt.
He looked down, and saw a pair of petite hands clasped upon his stomach. His eyes narrowed.
---I can't quite make out the insription.
"I don't want to turn around," he began. "Because if I do, I know you won't be there." He closed his eyes.
--- HA! I sure fooled you!
He felt himself being spun around, then a pair of very real lips touched his and stayed there even when he opened his eyes. Those lips beloged to wonderful blue hair,
---It was collectively owned by each indevidual strand of hair.
delightful to run hands through. He did.
They parted, and Ami smiled. "I'm here. Forever."
Urawa cried for joy.
---WAAAAAHHHH
There were back at Makoto's apartment, sitting on the living room couch.
---What do you wanna do?
---I dunno. What do you wanna do?
Mako and Minako had already went to sleep, both in the same bed because Mako-chan still wanted to keep an eye on her, for a little while.
Urawa got up, and started the CD player.
---playing the 100% polka album.
"Want to dance?"
"But... I don't know how to."
Urawa pulled her up. "Neither do I."
---Well now we're in it.
They held each other tightly, as they shuffled their feet around in time to the music. They were quiet for the first five minutes, then: "So how did it work out with you and Minako."
---I need a life.
She sighed. "She says she doesn't want me to speak to her for a week, at least. I told her I didn't blame her for anything, but she said that she deserves at least that. I'm respecting her wish."
---After all. I hate her.
Another silence. "I'm sorry I don't come over more often. Actually, I'm sorry about a lot of things."
"So am I," Ami replied.
"Like what?"
---For your soon death! AHAHAHAHA!
"I'm sorry for being a victim."
---It's all my fault other people do stuff.
"Ami-"
"These past few weeks have been crazy, Urawa, and it feels like I'm the center of everyone's grief and hate. I don't know sometimes."
---I know sometimes, sometimes. Uh.... yeah....
She had that faraway look in her eyes.
---You will be assimilated
"Ami, I can't think of someone who's been any braver than you have. I mean, where would we be if it weren't for Sailor Mercury?
---Obviously not on Mercury.
It was you who saved me from the Dark Kingdom, and I'll always be in your debt for that. Always."
---I've got one huge mortgage on that Dark kingdom.
Ami sighed again. "You make me feel so important."
"Of course.
---Because I am so much better than you. You feel special just to be in my presence. I'm sure that's it.
You're my princess," he said, twirling her around then bending her backwards.
---Breaking her back. THE END.
"Hey... I thought you said you couldn't dance."
"Uh... yeah, well... I lied."
---Sucker.
Ami grinned as she playfully hit his shoulder. "I guess white lies don't count."
"Not at all," he said, and leaned down to kiss her.
---But missed and kissed the wall.
Mercury and Venus stood on the roof of the building across the street, observing their subjects.
---Those perverts. Like the Author.
"I sure love a happy ending," Mercury cheerfully said.
"Don't we all."
---No.
They both stood there as they saw them dance, then Mercury spoke up again.
---Let's play Monopoly!
"You know Venus, maybe we should stop fighting amongst each other. I don't see the point anymore."
---Well I DO!
"I know, brother. But we'll have a hard time trying to get the rest to agree."
"No, sis. Just the two of us, for now. I mean, we've just proven we can actually solve a problem without ripping each others' heads off!"
---Though my arm still hurts.
"You're right. I mean, Uranus and Neptune get along so well, too."
---Ewwwww.
"There's something else. We should really look after these senshi of ours, because, I mean, we seem to take them for granted. I know I did, until now."
Venus nodded.
"I just want her to know that if she ever needs a father figure, I'll be there. No lie."
--- Honest.
Venus was impressed. "Wow, Mercury, you're really getting into this."
---I'm so proud of you. You get a sticker.
Mercury shrugged. "Well, love is something a lot of us have been missing in our lives. I know, for one, that I'm going to make it a part of mine from now on."
She smiled. "Everyone should."
---Let's get together and feeeel allllll right.
A short while later, Venus decided to retire to her garden. Mercury wasn't about to leave, however. He had only begun to feel happy. "I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks,"
---You calling me a Dog?
he said as he removed his helmet and thumbed away a single tear of joy. "Thank you, Ami Mizuno."
The moonlight covered all.
Fin!
---Translation: Fin!
---I think the author was some kind of sicko. Really. And this story didn't really have much happen. It sucked.
