The youma swiped outwards with a slimy appendage.

---What about the Me-ma?

Rei ducked under and pulled back.

---That's nice.

Where was Usagi? She should have been here by now.

---Hey. Uh... is somebody talking here?

She heard something to her left and bolted out of the way as Ami unleashed a torrent of Shabon Spray against the hapless youma.

---Did that noise to the left have anything to do with this sentence?

We were making headway,

---She, her, us. Who are we? The suspense of this story: Will it be third-person or first-person? Any sentence may be different.

but the youma just seemed to be picking up speed.

---It should have a name you know.

The youma broke out of its prison

---and signaled his homies to help him.

before the other Senshi could act.

---Oh! So it's a Drama class!

It started for Rei,

---But ended for someone else.

but was cut short when a rose stuck in the ground near its feet.

---Uh... "What is that? I'm scared!"

It looked up

---The rose?

and there he was.

---There he was, the florist.

Rei always did have a crush on him, but she knew that he was for Usagi, much as she didn't deserve him.

---Well this sentence had a lot to with it all, now didn't it.

"Senshi, we had a flat.

---"And darn it, I forgot the spare."



But even substandard rubber cannot stop the power of the moon. Isn't that right Sailor Moon?"

---Hey. Don't insult the quality of the tire. It never made fun of you.

He said, turning to his left.

All eyes, including the nine that were on the youma turned to Sailor Moon

---"Stop that. I'm very self-conscious."

, who stepped from the shadows and raised her Moon Rod.

After her normal schpeel, the youma yawned slightly,

---THE END.

but stood straighter and tried not to laugh too much.

---Just enough to show that it thought it was funny.

As usual, the Rod emitted a powerful energy and dusted him.

---Dusted him? Oops! Must of gotten it mixed up with the maid's moon rod.

His molecules fell to pieces

---I don't think they could of really "fallen apart" in that sense.

and he slumped over, a heap of ash.

There was a strange silence.

"Cut! That's a wrap on this scene people. Take five." A short man on a nearby crane yelled.

It was as if the strings on their limbs had been cut.

--- What did?

The tension in the air was gone and a sense of completion was in the air. The Senshi seemed relaxed and altogether happy.

---But singularly sad.

There was a large table behind the director.

---That's great now isn't it.

It was filled with several bowls of fruit, a few sandwich items and some sweets.

---And enough deep fried salad to feed several small countries.

They made their way to it and had a couple of snacks between takes.

---So the people had shots of them just walking to a table? Wha?

Mr.Youma was there as well, though a little more whole and much less slimy. Usagi was glad, she hated the slimy kind.

"Wow. Getting hit with that Rod must really hurt.

---"All that dust in the eyes and all."

Glad it's not in my contract," He said, sipping his water.

"Well, that's what we have stunt youma for," Minako said, picking up a banana.

---"We hired B1 and B2 from "bananas in pajamas" to do the stunts."

"He gets recycled into the next youma and he really only has to do one episode per cycle, so it's not that bad," Ami said, picking absently at her grapes.

---Don't pick at it! You'll only make it worse!

"Yeah, but even so, I was a stunt youma on some of the early Mamono Yohko Series and it hurt like Hell to recycle," He said to Ami.

A technician was walking past with the bucket containing the remains of the youma.

"Ya' wanna talk about hurtin' pal? Let me tell ya'."

They bigsweated

---THIS ICON DOES NOT TRANSLATE FROM VISUAL TO TEXT! GET OVER IT!

as he rambled into the distance.

"Mako-chan, I hear you got a new job," Rei asked of Makoto.

"Yeah, it doesn't pay as well as this, but it's fun.

---"Unlike working with YOUUUUUUUUU!"

And it does have perks. I'm a bouncer for the new place down from the Nekohanten. The Anime Bar and Grille. Ever heard of it?"

---"They take bad anime inspired fanfics and riff them 'till they're dead."

She asked.

The others shook their heads in turn, except for Usagi, who was too busy munching Oreos to notice.

"That's okay, it only opened up about a month ago," She said.

---So you're only to second level ignorance.

"Cool, can we come and watch you work?"

---"Let's cook Ranma!!"

Minako asked, excitedly.

Makoto thought about this for a moment.

"I don't see why not. Come by tonight for dinner and I'll make sure you get a good seat by the stage.

---"Actually, I'll make sure you're FAR from the stage, so you don't find out what actually goes on in there."

The entertainment's always good," She said, smiling.

The other Senshi got excited and as usual, Usagi had the only question on her mind.

"How's the food?" She asked.

Ami looked around.

"Hey, where did Mamoru run off to?" Ami asked.

"Probably class," Usagi said through a mouthful of cookies.

"Usagi, the food's great. We've got a couple of androids in the kitchen -

---So you get lots of iron.

so the foods perfect every time. Some of the guys that come in are real cute too,"

---What's that have to do with the food?

Makoto said, laughing.

Rei and Minako lit up at the last comment.

"Really?" They both exclaimed.

"It should be fun," Ami said, quietly.

"You're coming?" Usagi looked surprised.

Ami just sighed.

"Why does that surprise you? I like to have fun too,"

---HA HA HA. Just kidding, I hate fun.

She said, then she thought for a moment, "Just-don't invite Chibi-Usa."

Usagi laughed nervously and bigsweated.

************************************************************

"Well, if Mako-chan says it's okay.

---Uh..... you lost me.

But it might be rough, especially since she's a bouncer," Mamoru said, downshifting.

"Maybe. But I've got you to protect me,"

---Ha ha sucker.

Usagi said, leaning into his arm.

He rolled his eyes at her.

---And she quicly picked them up.

She was just too dammed cute when she did that.

---Wow! I think condemned people are cuter than normal people.

Probably took lessons from Chibi-Usa.

Speaking of which,

---Um....But nobody was speaking.

I wonder if Luna and Artemis are putting their feet down with her discipline?

---They're cats. They always have their feet down.

Mamoru thought to himself, Nah, Chibi-Usa's probably swinging one from their tail while the other gets her to stop.

After a few more minutes, they arrived at the Anime Bar and Grille. It was a huge place, set off from the road by several lanes of parking.

---And nobody had heard of it?

There were several vehicles parked out front, most notably mecha of all type seemed to enjoy spaces.

---Basking in the pavement.

There were more conventional forms of transport,

---Horse and buggy, car, temporal rift...you know, the usual.

a dragon or two and the occasional starship parked above the bar.

---Ready to fall and crush it if there were any technical problems.

Mamoru was impressed; it was easily one of the bigger buildings he had ever seen. Three floors,

---This guy must not see many buildings.

each seemed to be overflowing with people. The huge sign out front directed people to the set of oaken doors in the front underneath it.

---What is a "Front underneath it"? There should be a comma there.

They parked and walked up to the front. Mamoru noticed the sidewalk had been imprinted with footprints and handprints and a couple of unmentionable prints in the cement.

---Hey look! Han Solo is stored in one over there!

The doors were carved with manners of anime from all walks of life.

Opening the door, a wave of light and noise assaulted their senses.

---DIE, YOU INVADERS!!

Usagi began to smell wonderful smells coming from the passing plates of food and it was all that Mamoru could do to keep her from filching a small morsel.

---Ok. Let's just have the waiters move all the plates right past the door. Of course.

Mamoru recognized Tokiko Mima behind the bar.

---A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Bartender? Okay, why not.

---Whatever.

Many anime memorabilia hung from the walls. Alita's Damascus Blade, a baseball from the first Touch movie, a stuffed flaming wombat.

---A pokeball.

There was even the bread sign from Kiki's Delivery Service.

---This is just a hunch, but I think this author has even less of a life than I do. And that's saying something!

The bar seemed to dominate the far end, the bar and the restaurant seeming to be somewhat separated by it.

---The bar and restaurant seemed to be seperated by what? The bar?

There was a stage on the one far end of the wall that was currently dark, but Mamoru could tell it was fairly well equipped.

---Floorboards and everything.

Makoto came running up to greet them. She was looking tough in her jeans and tee shirt.

"Usagi, I'm glad you two made it. Ami's been here for over an hour and she's already gone from wine coolers to beer,"

---"She's puked a record of three times already!"

Makoto said above the speaker system.

Usagi and Mamoru looked at each other, then follow Makoto

---CHOSE YOUR TENSE!! Are you ordering them to do something or did they already do it?!?!

who lead them to a table off to one side of the stage area. Ami was sitting there typing on her portable computer with a beer off to one side.

"Just go ahead and order and I'll be back later," Makoto said, bouncing off.

Again Mamoru and Usagi looked at each other,

---For no good reason.

but then just shrugged and gave their orders. Water for Mamoru. Tea for Usagi.

"Ami?" Usagi asked.

Ami sat there for a minute and seemed to digest their presence to her.

"It's the script for the show two weeks from now.

---That's rather late, don't you think. They have writers for that anyway.

Just thought I'd work on it a little," She finally said, slowly.

---With much hiccuping.

"I didn't know you like beer," Usagi said.

"It's an acquired taste," She said smiling,

---"And I've aquired a lot of it!" *Hic*

"Gotta have fun some time."

She finished the beer off with a flourish and ordered a martini from no one in particular.

Usagi was glad for the company when Minako and Rei walked over to the table to join them.

"What's up with Ami?" Rei asked, worried.

"She's getting lit," Mamoru said from his water.

"I can handle my liquor, thank you very much," Ami muttered.

Usagi and Minako looked at each other.

"Lit!" They said simultaneously.

"Shut up," Ami said, finishing off her martini.

"So when can we order?" Rei asked, looking for a menu.

"I thought that was Usagi's question?" Minako asked.

"Don't be mean. But since you asked..." Usagi said.

Everyone faulted clean out of their seats,

---"OH NO!! ONE OF THOSE PARKED SHIPS CRASHED DOWN!!"

except for Ami that is.

---Who faulted dirtily out of her seat.

She figured that if she faulted everytime Usagi did something stupid, she might as well stay down.

---She figured that since she was animated, she had no actual control over her life.

She just giggled. As everyone got back up, little portals appeared and everyone took the menu that popped up.

---They keep pretty current with technology around here don't they. But don't you think that just HANDING THEM A STUPID MENU would be cheaper and save energy?

Ami's also included a pink something with an umbrella in it. She sipped and nodded accordingly.

"So, everyone having a good time?" Makoto said, coming over to them.

"Mako-chan, what's really good?"

---"How about this one. It's the latest riffing of an Oscar 'fic.

Minako asked, perusing the menu.

"Something beer battered," Ami chimed in.

"Well, the dolphin's been really good so far-"

"FLIPPER!?!?!?" Usagi shouted.

"No Usagi, not that kind of-" Mamoru tried to say.

"You...killed...Flipper?" Usagi said, starting to flubber,

---With Robin Williams?

her bottom lip quivering.

"I could see this coming," Rei said, putting her head into her hand.

"How could this place be so mean..." Usagi said, starting to cry, "I mean, people can't actually eat...WAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"C'mon Usako, calm down. Let Makoto explain-" Mamoru tried to say again.

"WAHHHHHHHH!"

"USAGI!"

That shut her up. They all looked at Ami.

"Shut up already. The dolphin we eat is a greenish fish from the Caribbean,

---Also know as the ... uh....(Darn it! Gotta think of something.)... Dolphin fish.

not the mammal you seem to be so fond of," Ami explained, a half-sober look on her face.

She fully leaned back and started sipping on something blue.

Usagi looks back to Makoto.

"It's not Flipper?" Usagi asked quietly.

"No, why don't you try it? It's really good blackened Cajun style," Makoto said.

"Well, okay Mako-chan."

"The system, as Ami had found out, will take your orders and then deliver them through portals built into the table.

---Portals? From where? The ethereal realm? (I just like that word!)

Washu designed and built it,"

---Wash -U. The university for Janitors.

Makoto said as she sighed over another disaster averted.

Everyone nodded their approval at the technology and decided to order.

For Mamoru, Smothered Chicken. For Rei, Barbecue Cheese Steak. For Minako, Tamales with rice on the side.

"Make sure they're hot," She told the disembodied waiter.

And for Ami, Something clear with lots of kick...

The menus disappeared and the drinks everyone ordered appeared. Usagi had a milkshake, Mamoru had tea, Rei had a beer and Minako had Dr.Pepper.

"I didn't know you drank Dr.Pepper?" Ami asked in a fit of sobriety.

"I get it from time to time," Minako said, looking around at the bar.

"I don't mind it," Mamoru said

"Makes me belch," Usagi said from her milkshake.

The lights dimmed as their dinner arrived through its portals.

---Woah. Those portals sure use up the hydro power, huh?

A quiet piano began to play onstage and the lights came up slowly.

---Shy from the large crowd.

Urd was on top of the piano,

---And "curd" is on top of the cheese.

lounging back with a microphone in her hands. Mamoru gulped and got a squeeze from Usagi to keep him in line.

---"Oh yeah. I'm not supposed to like her. yeah....."

The spotlight fell on Skuld next, looking very much like a young, kawaii Minmei.

---And of course we all know what that is.

The lights softened and came up entirely to show Keiichi and Belldandy

---The long lost descendant of Jim Dandy.

playing the piano together. Dinner was good.

************************************************************

Everyone clapped as the trio's number ended.

---198672390-1-9275-9874958734987168793568765134876.298734987 clap clap clap.

Makoto was returning from her duties just as the lights were coming back up.

---Oh man. I must of blanked out for the whole night.

There was some shouting in the aisleway across the room and everyone turned to see what the ruckus was all about.

Makoto stood up and Usagi noticed that she had taken out her transformation pen. Mamoru noticed this as well and tried to see across the room, but there were too many people.

"Mako-chan, who is that?" He asked quietly.

"Troublemakers Mamoru. The Sailor Scouts," She said, twirling the pen idly.

"What the fu-HIC-is a Sailor Scout?" Ami blurted.

Everyone guessed, quite correctly, that she was thoroughly trashed by now.

"They're the dubbed versions," Rei said, looking over her shoulder.

Makoto and Mamoru nod in unison.

"Cheap imitations if you ask me," Minako said, picking up her Dr.Pepper.

"Just try to ignore them," Mamoru said, calming back down.

Everyone agreed. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.

************************************************************

The dinner continued to be excellent. So good in fact that Mamoru thought Usagi actually tasted a portion of what she wolfed down.

---What's that neon sign say? Uh..... oh. "Laugh". Oh yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Can I stop now?

He looked around the table. Usagi was enjoying the chocolate sundae while Minako was quietly sipping her coffee.

---"Well, I'll be up all night."

Ami looked gone. Rei was nursing her third beer. Makoto had gone to eject some crazy lecher from the other end of the bar.

---A swift kick in the pants oughta do it.

All she said was something about a guy with a cat fetish. Mamoru didn't try to think about it. It takes all kinds he supposed.

"Looky what we got here," A voice said from his left.

Everyone looked up. It was a woman that looked just like Rei except with loose dreads.

She was also wearing baggy jeans and a dirty looking black cut off tee.

"Hey guys, get over here. It's the subbers," She yelled across the room.

It was going to be trouble, Mamoru could just feel it. The other Senshi got up and backed together around one end of the table.

---This is a dumb semi-crossover fic. I don't know how many others of this "Anime Reunion" type there are, but I hope they're few.

The Scouts came up and formed a wall at the other end. Makoto had come back and had joined the Senshi.

Ami was still sitting down.

The Scout Amy was butch looking and had a nose ring with a chain to her left earring.

---Watch, I bet someone's going to come pull it out.

She was wearing a pair of hotpants and a bra top. She just snuffed and leaned on the Scout named Lita.

---Snuffed?

She was looking rather bland, but also quite scared. Her eyes twitching from Rei to Usagi and Mamoru and back again.

The Scouts named Mina and Serena were next. Both wore identical black miniskirts with some kind of material barely covering their chests.

---Coming next down the runway is the lovely Serena and Mina, both sporting the new black mini skirt and dishrag combo.

The strangest thing of all was that Serena didn't wear her hair like Usagi. That made her and Mina look almost identical. He looked around for his counterpart, but didn't see him.

"What're you lookin' at?" Raye said to Rei.

"I don't know but I smelled you from across the room."

"You all look so-dirty," Usagi said, gripping Mamoru's arm a little tighter.

"Oh like Miss Prissy here REALLY gets him up at night? Oh please,"

---Please what?

Serena said, gesturing towards Mamoru.

"Usagi is just fine for me thank you," Mamoru said, proudly.

Usagi smiled up at him.

"C'mon guys lets just go," Lita said to her group, then turning to Mamoru, "We're really sorry if we've disturbed-"

"Aw, shut the Hell up fore I pop ya.

---Hyuk hyuk. You might just be a red neck if you talk like this.

Just because you walked in on me and Amy doesn't mean nothin'," Raye said to Lita.

"Hey, quiet girl. I haven't heard anything outta you yet," Amy said to Ami.

Ami slowly looked up. She has the most peculiar look running across her face before deciding to settle on bewilderment. She rose, not without some difficulty from her chair to face Amy.

"What? What're you lookin' at?" Amy asked.

The top half of Ami slowly reached out for the other Amy while the bottom half refused to move.

---That teaches you not to wear REALLLLLLY tight underwear.

For those non-physics majors out there, what occurred next gave a perfect example of why drunk people don't walk

---What physics major are you referring to?

and why pierced ANYTHING is something you shouldn't have in a fight.

************************************************************

"I can't believe you destroyed my car!" Minako shouted at Makoto.

She was in the back seat of Mamoru's small convertible with Rei in the middle, Usagi on the other side of Rei and Ami on the other end.

"Look, I didn't know a Supreme Thunder would do that!" Makoto said from the front seat.

She shifted the ice pack on her arm and winced. It still hurt.

"Hello, Mako-chan? Car-metal-get it?" Minako said, banging on the convertible's ceiling.

"This is a convertible Minako," Mamoru said calmly.

"Yeah, well so is mine now," She said back to him.

"Okay, Washu owes me a favor-I'll get her to fix it okay?" Makoto implored.

"I don't know..."

"Hey-It was your chain that blew out the tires," Makoto pointed out.

"Yeah, whatever," Minako said,

---"Admit it. It was your fault. You just don't want to say it."

annoyed, "How's your arm?"

"Better, I think the swelling's gone down. Hey Rei, how's your eye?" She asked Rei.

"I think I can see a bit," She said, removing the cold pack, "As usual, Usagi's the only one who can come out of this kind of fight undamaged."

"I'm not the only one," Usagi said, "Ami wasn't hurt."

Everyone leaned over to look at Ami, who was passed out and snoring.

"Sure, but she'll feel it in the morning," Mamoru said.

Rei and Usagi started to giggle then everyone began to join in the laughing,

---"Uh... girls.... that wasn't THAT funny..."

as the Mamoru drove them back to their houses. No one saw the chain that Ami still had wrapped around her finger.

---"Heh heh heh. I'll kill them all when they least expect it."



---Thumbnail sketch of story:
They go to new bar.
They get in fight.
THE END. Nothing is resolved.