Rules of the Ferengi
By Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe.
1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
3 Never pay more for an Acquisition than you have to.
6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7 Keep Your Ears Open!
8 Small print leads to large risk.
9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10 Greed is Eternal.
13 Anything worth doing, is worth doing for money.
16 A deal is a deal.... until a better one comes long.
17 A contract is a contract is a contract.. but only between Ferengi
19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21 Never place friendship above profit.
22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31 Never insult a Ferengi's mother.. insult something he cares about.
33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34 War is good for business.
35 Peace is good for business.
40 She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41 Profit is its own reward.
44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47 Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52 Never ask when you can take.
57 Good customers are as rare as latinum- treasure them.
58 There is no substitute for success
59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 Keep your lie constant.
62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65 Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
75 Home is where the heart is.. but the stars are made of latinum.
77 Every ounce in while, declare peace.. it confuses the hell out of your
79 Beware the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85 Never let the competition know what your thinking.
89 Ask not what your profit can do for you, but what you can do for your
94 Females and finances don't mix.
95 Expand.. or die.
97 Enough... is never enough.
99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102 Nature decays, but latinum is forever.
104 Faith moves mountains.. of inventory.
106 There is no honor in poverty.
109 Dignity and an empty sack...is worth the sack.
111 Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.
112 Never have sex with boss's sister.
113 Always have sex with the boss.
123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
144 Only fools pay retail. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as i
162 Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.
167 Know your enemies.. out do business with them always.
181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the sine of profit.
189 Let others keep their reputation.. you keep their latinum.
192 Never cheat a Klingon..unless you can get away with it.
194 It's always good business to know your customers before they walk in t
202 The justification for profit is profit.
203 Never customer are like razor-toothed greeworms. they can be succulent,
208 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. don't hesitate to step on them.
214 Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
217 You can't free a fish from water.
223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236 You can't buy fate.
239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242 More is good. all is better.
255 A wife is a luxury... a smart account a necessity.
261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266 When in doubt, lie.
280 Always know what you're buying.
284 Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.