Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an
idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
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I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Carol Leifer
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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first.
By the second day you're off it.
Jackie Gleason
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I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some
fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some
fries with that?"
Jay Leno
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The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they
would not be caught dead in otherwise.
Roger Simon
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore
helmets.
Dave Edison
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If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television
by candlelight.
George Gobel
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Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to
the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a
hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
Billiam Coronel
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PCs should have next to the "Intel Inside" sticker, an additional label that says "Best if used by __________".
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During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S.
National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it
needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines
of its space capsules. After considerable research and
development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of
about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some
modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth. The
Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a
vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
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The Lord's Prayer has 66 words. The Gettysburg Address has 286
words. There are 1,322 words in the Declaration of
Independence. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage
total 26,911 words.
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Half of the people in the world are below average.
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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and
saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's
life without even *considering*
if there are men on base.
Dave Barry
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On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
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Suppose you were an idiot..... And suppose you were a member
of Congress................But I repeat myself
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Priscilla Knoble
QA Engineer
Adobe Systems, Inc.
(206) 470-7635
pknoble@adobe.com
