9/11

So, okay. Here it is. My L.A. travelogue. I figured I’d better start writing because I’d forget all my first impressions.

So I’m at a Starbuck’s near the corner of La Brea and Sunset Boulevard. I’ve been walking until my knees and feet hurt, and plus it’s hot out there.

Okay, real quick. I think I saw a real Hollywood guy at Starbucks. He was really annoying, ordered a snazzy iced drink, real prissy-like, then bitching that it wasn’t done right. Said he was in a hurry, was late for his meeting, blah blah blah...What a whiner. So I figure he must be a real Hollywood guy, though he wasn’t exactly a snappy dresser.

Mostly. L.A., so far, looks like Stockton, except it does have a Hollywood feel to it. Movie posters, a couple of tv studios, some modeling places. Saw two gorgeous babes go into 7707 Sunset Boulevard. A place with no name, just an address. Found out later it was a place where they had casting calls.

Two blocks from my hotel, saw a guy standing in handcuffs on either his or somebody else’s front lawn, with the L.A.P.D. on the scene. Comforting to see them on the job, as I’m more concerned about the denizens of L.A. than I am about terrorists, even though it is the anniversary of 9/11.

It sees humid, but I asked a local if it was always this humid, but she said she thought it was dry. So I guess I’m simply more accustomed to the dryness of the Foot Hills. Also, I have already done quite a bit of walking today. It’s about 2PM, which means I have 5 hours or so of daylight left. Of course, walking the streets by night can be less than healthy.

I have not yet seen the famed L.A. traffic. Hasn’t seemed too bad all day in the places I’ve been, then again I have not yet seen rush hour, nor have I been on the freeway.

The thing I notice the most if how nice the hills surrounding Hollywood look. And, of course, there’s lots of palm trees. Love those. Never too many for me. Caught my first glimpse of the Hollywood sign as I was walking down Western Avenue. It was exciting, seeing it for the first time. A childish sort of excitement like a little kid getting a new toy. I haven’t seen that much really worth taking pictures of, except a few of the locals. I think picture-taking is more fun when you’re with somebody else.

By the way, this is my best Paul Theroux impression. We’ll see how it goes. I think I’m probably a lot more concise than him, but I hope I get my point across.

Note to myself. Get started early in the morning tomorrow. Don’t forget to hit he beach. I have six days here which is plenty, but make it count. Cause this is the City of Angels! Woo hoo!

As for the more familiar traits of L.A. Gorgeous babes everywhere? No more than any other city, though they dress racier and obviously people work out more and worry more about hairstyles, makeup etc. Smog? Saw some nestled against the hills, but it doesn’t look that bad. Yet. No earthquakes. Yet. No Angelyne, or any other celebrity, sightings as of yet. Though it’s quite possible to see one without knowing it, unless you know exactly what to look for. Weirdos/Freaks? Not as many as I’ve seen in Sacramento, oddly enough, but the day ain’t over.

Oh yeah, I did see the Church of Scientology from a distance. Actually a useful landmark when navigating your way through Hollywood. At least, as of now, I’ve seen Sunset Boulevard from Western Avenue all the way to the edge of West Hollywood, I think. For the most part, Sunset doesn’t evoke anything in remembrance of the “glamour” days of Hollywood. All it really is, is lots of shopping centers, etc. It just looks like suburbia to me.

Much later. So what happened, was I got really, really tired by the time I got back to Van Ness, and I got on an LADOT bus. The smartest thing I’ve done in years. It not only was air-conditioned, spared me a lot of walking, and was only a quarter for fare, but it also took me down Hollywood Boulevard, which is clearly the place to see. As unspectacular, as Sunset is, Hollywood Blvd. has the flash and razzle dazzle that you would expect to see in Hollywood.

You also get to see some really nice homes on the LADOT route. Made me feel better about coming to L.A., and gave me a much needed rest. If the only thing you saw of L.A. was Western Avenue, you might think it’s nothing but a really tore up city. But up North are the nice parts.

My only minor concern along the way was at the Hollywood and Vine bus stop, where there was, what I strongly suspect, were a couple of Bloods hanging out. Naturally, I don’t really worry about anything happening in broad daylight or about a raging gun battle breaking out in this part of town, but then again, it is L.A. That with all the media exposure that these organizations get, gives them a mystique that similar organizations in Chicago lack. Maybe it’s having seen Colors, Boys in the Hood and similar movies that makes me pause.

A couple of other spots of note...Hollywood High School which, besides the nice architecture, has enough bars to make it look like the county jail. L.A. Film School where even as I write this, many crushed dreams are in the making. Hollywood doesn’t have room for everyone, and there are going to be a lot of disappointed people coming out of there. Oh yeah, I did see a new billboard for Angelyne at Sunset and Argyle, one I haven’t seen before. Oddly enough, it only has shots of her face, which, in case, you don’t know who she is, leaves out the very prominent silicon enhancements and flashy pink clothes that she is known for, as one of Hollywood’s most famous tour guides. No pictures of her pink corvette either.

I almost forgot. This morning, I gave this bum 75 cents, and he told me a joke. A nickel and dime are rolling across a bridge. The nickel falls off, but the dime doesn’t. Why? Cause the dime has more cents. Ha ha ha!

Okay, and on the traffic report, by four o’clock, it was thickening, and 101 was backing up. I’d still rather be driving than walking though.

It occurs to me that a person either likes the city life or they don’t. If they do, L.A. is a great adventure waiting for them.

It was 89 degrees by 3PM. I’m told this is normal for L.A. for this time of year, but still hot weather for walking long distances. Tomorrow it’s buses. I’ve had it.

9/12

Still foggy. It’s about 10AM, and I’m sitting on Venice Beach with my first decent cup of coffee of the day. Already, I’m pretty sure that the next time I stay in L.A., it will have to be in Venice. The beach, itself, is huge. It goes on as far as the eye can see in either direction.. The “oceanfront walk” where all the shops are, is also quite a spectacle. Nobody is really on the beach yet, but the ships are open, and the merchants who have stands are already set up. Very colorful shops selling t-shirts, bikinis, sunglasses, other beach items, luggage, incense, beads, Native American stuff, and, of course, more bikinis. Is there ever enough bikinis? Plenty of cafes also. The merchants with stands sell art, poetry, religious stuff, tattoos and other things. One guy is sculpting a mermaid out of sand.

One should definitely make an all day outing out of Venice Beach, as there is plenty to see. I’m seeing t-shirts, 3 for $10.00, and other such deals. Nice t-shirts too, so anybody who comes should be ready to do some shopping.

Hmmm, the page is getting damp from the fog.

As of 1PM, the Sun is still not out, but I am not sorry one bit. I got way to much Sun yesterday, and today they were predicting into the 90’s for Los Angeles, and so I have cleverly escaped the heat.

I notice, I’m not writing as much today. It’s not because there’s not as much to say, I am simply overwhelmed by Venice Beach. If I were to live in L.A., it would have to be here. I don’t care what the rent would be. I certainly feel like I could easily fit in here.

I’m also proud of the fact that even on Venice Beach, my shirt is getting looks and even one compliment already. It shows a giant coffeemaker with a full pot of coffee, with people kneeling before it and worshipping it. A very appropriate shirt for me.

I have taken a bunch of pictures of Venice Beach so people can see what it looks like.

For the ladies, the guys at Muscle Beach look more like gangstas and bikers than they do like the models in the pictures. So ladies, if you’re thinking about coming down here and scoring one of these guys, don’t forget your pepper spray and maybe a blank restraining order just in case.

And, alas, it is a bit too chilly today to see bikinis. Guess I’ll have to come back another day.

Tomorrow, it’s Santa Monica. Mentioned my plan to a guy at a hamburger stand, and he said it was much more likely to be sunny, and highly recommended it.

Slowly, but surely, I am figuring out the mass transit system here. All of a sudden, L.A. doesn’t seem quite so vast and overwhelming. Got a new map of L.A. One even a child could read, which is a good thing. Anyway, I realized had I not run out of gas yesterday, I would have made it to the Sunset Strip. Of course, I have since learned I could take a couple of buses and there a lot easier. I even know which ones now.

You know, speaking of buses, when they say people don’t like to walk in L.A., they’re serious. I’ve seen people pay the fare on a bus just to avoid walking a couple of blocks, which is the height of irony for me, considering I’ve done more walking in the past couple of days than I’ve done in the previous five years. Either I’m out of shape, or I’m gettin’ old. Used to be able to handle this amount of walking no problem, but like George Bush says, I’m a steadfast and resolute.

I almost forgot to mention. When I got to Venice Beach this morning, I almost got to see a man assaulted with a garbage can. Apparently, a foreign tourist got into it with one of the vendors, and the vendor was not amused at all. He actually had the garbage can up over his head, ready to bring it down on the tourist’s head. It was liking watching the Three Stooges. I was almost hoping he would hit the guy with it. Of course, taking a picture of it would have been out of the question, unless I also wanted to be wearing a garbage can for a hat. As it was, the tourist escaped unscathed.

One safety note about Venice Beach. Be watching in all directions at all times, because the bike riders and roller bladers move at pretty good speeds and don’t like to have to stop for pedestrians. If you must cross a bike path, treat it as though you are crossing the expressway. Look both ways, run across and don’t stop. I, myself, was scolded by a bike rider when I stepped out of his way, but didn’t notice the roller blader coming up behind me.

Actually, the fog didn’t life until 3:30 or so, when it was about time to start thinking about heading back, so I didn’t get to do any swimming.

Oh yeah, and by the way, should you find yourself running out of cash on Venice Beach, never fear because there are ATM’ s every fifty feet. Those merchants are no dummies.

9/13

2:20 AM

Okay I guess, I better include it. This is L.A., right? So first day I got here, I was walking past a room, I heard a woman screaming inside. She was speaking some Asian language. I listened for a minute to make sure she wasn’t being murdered or anything, but after a couple of minutes, it was clear that whatever she was doing, she was enjoying it immensely. Good for her.

So tonight, there’s a knocking at my door. Scared the hell out of me, cause they warn you not to open the door at night, lest you get robbed or something. I looked through the spy hole, but couldn’t see anyone, which didn’t make me feel any better. So fearlessly, I opened the door anyway, and standing there was a beautiful Asian woman saying “Call?” and pointing to her cellphone. I had to tell her, sorry, wrong room. How am I supposed to get to sleep now?

Okay, so it’s about 9:45 AM, and I’m on the legendary Santa Monica pier. The fog is pretty thick, and people are really just starting to mill about. Kids are gathering outside the video arcade. Most of the merchants are just starting to set up. Most of the restaurants aren’t even open yet.

Basically, there’s not a whole lot to the Pier. You can walk the length of it in about 5 minutes. It’s a few souvenir stands, a bunch of food places and the mini-amusement park. It does command a great view of the ocean, or at least it will, when the fog lifts. Lots and lots of fisherman on the lower levels of the Pier.

The surf here doesn’t look very good for surfers (and there are none in view), thought still better than it did at Venice Beach. For swimmers, it looks great, and I expect to be out there as soon as the Sun comes out. Strange thing is, I don’t think I’ve been to a beach in California where the wave action looked really good for surfers. Guess you got to catch it at the right time.

The beach, itself, or what I can see of it, is not as impressive as Venice Beach was, but still nice. What’s kind of weird about it is that I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many garbage cans. I can see maybe a hundred yards of beach, and on that stretch I count 40 garbage cans easy.

Santa Monica also has an oceanfront walk, but larger and more grand, I guess you would say, then Venice. It doesn’t have many shops or restaurants, mostly just a place for walkers, joggers, bikers and roller bladers.

I actually didn’t wait for the Sun to come out, but went swimming anyway. The water was freezing, but refreshing.

All in all, Santa Monica is nice, but really too ritzy for me.

9/14

9AM So here I am, sitting just off the Sunset Strip. The shops don’t open until at least 10AM. I suppose it’s like the “poor” man’s version of Rodeo Drive. Shops that are upscale, but probably not upscale enough for the ultra-rich. The people around here look surprisingly normal. I was expecting the “L.A. look”, but haven’t seen anything like it yet. But it’s still early.

West Hollywood is in all ways nicer than Hollywood, and a lot more green.

I’m intending to take a nice leisurely walk up and down the Strip, and after that, Hollywood Boulevard. Though I suspect nothing I will see in Los Angeles will compare with Venice Beach.

Everywhere there are movie billboards, in particular, I’m seeing a lot of “XXX” and “The Tuxedo”. There’s also a lot of giant-sized painting advertising various things on the sides of buildings. It makes for a very colorful landscape.

From here you can see some of the huge houses up in the hills. Now you know that’s big bucks up there, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why. They probably offer a nice view of the city below, but so what? It’s not a pretty sight down there. In addition, from what it looks like, the highest smog concentrations have to be right here nestled up against these hills. I don’t think I’ll ever understand this concept of “status symbols.”

Interesting, but here on the Strip they have “No Cruising Zone” signs which basically say that if you’re seen passing a traffic control point in your vehicle 2 or more times in a four hour period, you could be subject to a citation. I ‘m not even sure what to make of that.

Anyway, if I’m starting to babble, it’s because I’m waiting for Tower Records, across the street, to open.

11AM Sitting at a Starbuck’s, still on the Strip. A note for shoppers. Saturday morning is NOT a good time for shopping as most of the shops are still not open. One thing is for sure, though. If you come shopping, bring a fat bankroll or a healthy amount of plastic. This is no place for cheapskates, which is why I’ll be moving on to Hollywood Blvd. soon. Also, Saturday morning is not the time to go people watching. The fairer sex definitely dress racier in these parts with snazzier make up and hairstyles than you might see in Chicago or another city. I’ve only seen a few truly outlandish individuals since I’ve been in L.A. “Posh”, I guess, is the word journalists probably use to describe the Strip.

I did see a Lamborghini parked in front of one of the hotels here. Nice.

But even if you’re on a strict budget like I am, there is a lot to see and do on the Strip, so it’s definitely worth a visit.

Obviously, for movie-goers, this being L.A. you get to see the new movies coming out before the rest of the country.

Oh yeah, and I saw the Director’s Guild of America building while walking down Sunset. Amazing that they can build a structure large enough to hold all those enormous egos.

I’m a little surprised how much I’ve written about the Strip, since all I’ve really done is a bunch of walking, coffee drinking and taking a few pictures. I think I’m going to freak out if I drink anymore coffee today. But there’s an outdoor mall on Crescent Heights and Sunset that offered shade with a nice breeze blowing through it, so I had to get yet another cup, just to get out of the Sun for awhile. It’s kind of warm out here.

As you walk east down Sunset, you can pretty much tell where the Strip ends because garbage starts appearing on the sidewalk, and the shops and restaurants transform back to middle class.

2:25PM Tourist heaven. The new and improved Hollywood Boulevard. Definitely the place to come if you are looking for “Hollywood”. It’s like L.A.’s version of Times Square. Lots to see and do here. Shops selling everything under the Sun, including a lot of lingerie ships. If you’re an exotic dancer needing new gear, this is the place to come. If you are here with your significant other, this is the time to be really, really nice to them.

Lots of gorgeous tourist babes walking up and down the Boulevard. I guess it’s something about this street that makes people want to look good.

I’ve been following the Walk of Fame, where they have the stars on the sidewalk with celebrity’s names in them, for probably a couple of hours now, and probably won’t see the whole thing, as it stretches in various directions. It goes on and on. Some of the more unusual stars I’ve seen are Woody Woodpecker, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Rugrats, Sabue, The Simpsons, Mr. Rogers and Big Bird. Some celebrities, for whatever reason, have more than one star. I know I saw George Burns, Guy Lombardo and Jimmy Durante at least twice already. The stars don’t seem to be in any particular order, for the most part. Abbott and Costello are not together, for example.

There are various exhibits on Hollywood history, and buses leaving for “official tours”, including passing by celebrity homes. I can only imagine how the celebs feel to have busloads of people pulling up in front of their houses, taking pictures.