Dedicated to my True Friends.


When I was younger. Oh that seems so long ago to say that.
I can’t remember my very early years very well. I believe I am blocking them out in a way. I do however remember junior high school. I felt like an outcast always, with my almost carrot red hair and the way I blushed if anyone looked at me the wrong way, or I said something the others laughed at, feeling like they were laughing at me, not with me. . I am a plain looking girl and I guess the hair didn’t help much.
I shied away from the “popular” kids because I never felt like I fit in at all. I belonged to the “misfit” group I guess. There was nothing wrong with us other than our outward appearances. Me with my vibrant red hair. Jill with her long legs that made her tower over everyone else. Jean with her braces, which were not a popular thing to have back in those days. Today she would fit right in probably, being that it’s the “thing” to do, getting braces. Margie with her tomboyish look would not even matter now either. Girls these days wear whatever they feel comfortable in.
We were not allowed to wear pants to school in those first years of junior high school. When I wore a skirt or dress I felt awkward and this just added to my shyness and the feeling of uncomfortableness.
Our “group” survived those years because we had each other. That was our strength to be what we were and to go on with each day. There was nothing wrong with us mentally, we all did well in school. It was our outward appearances that made life difficult.
I remember so well, wanted to be liked and even to have a boyfriend. None of us seemed to have dates or go out with boys. We went out in our own little group to the movies or each other’s houses. Your peers ruled how others chose to go about their life, and when they said it was not right to date a certain person, then they were shunned. We were shunned I feel.
I still feel today a lot of times that I don’t fit in. My hair still red, although graying now, I feel sticks out like a sore thumb and I just want to hide myself. If I go to a party I sit on the sidelines quietly while others are outspoken and confident.
Until finding the internet and others I sense that are like myself, I felt I had few if any real friends at all. No one judges you by your looks on the internet, unless they are out for more that just a friendship. I have met many people, which I am proud to call my friends and I hope with all my heart that they feel the same way.