Are You A Hoochie?

Part One (Multiple Choice Questions)

Check all that apply and give yourself one point for each, unless otherwise noted

1)Do you own any of the following brands of clothing:

a)Nike

b)Adidas

c)Calvin Klein

d)Tommy Hilfiger

2)Do you own any of the following articles of clothing:

a)A windbreaker (for any reason other than to keep you warm)

b)Flare jeans

c)Platform shoes

d)Anything with WAY too many flowers on it

e)Anything see-through

(Add ten points if your first response to any of these options was, "Oh, that is SO 5 minutes ago!")

3)Do you own any of the following accesories:

a)Baby barrettes

b)Butterfly clips

c)One of those stuffed animal backpacks

d)Nail decals

4)Do you use any of the following words on a regular basis:

a)like

b)totally

c)phat

d)tight

e)the bomb

5)Do you do any of the following activities more often than a normal person should:

a)Going to the mall

b)Going to dances (Especially school dances)

c)Guy Hunting

d)Looking in the mirror (yes, any reflective surface used for the same purpose counts)

6)Do you like any of the following singers/bands:

a)Hanson

b)Spice Girls

c)Puff Daddy

d)Mariah Carey

e)Boyz II Men

7)Have you ever had your day ruined by any of the following:

a)Bad hair day

b)Breaking a nail

8)How many books do you read in a year:

a)3 (1 point)

b)2 (2 points)

c)1 (3 points)

d)Does that inclued picture books? (10 points)

9)Have you ever rejected a guy for one of the following reasons:

a)He wasn't gorgeous enough

Thats about it. There's no other real criteria that hoochies judge their guys by.

10)Who do you most want to be like:

a)Fiona Apple (1 point)

b)Drew Barrymore (2 points)

c)Alicia Silverstone (3 points)

d)Elle Macpherson (4 points)

e)Hillary Clinton (Trick Question! No true hoochie would pick this one)

f)Frank-N-Furter, from the Rocky Horror Picture Show (You are one messed up chick! You should probably be taking the "Are you a freak?" test)

11)Do you suffer from any of the following disorders:

a)Anorexia

b)Bulemia

c)Chronic head-bobbing/hair-flipping syndrome

d)Some form of an STD (If you have an STD, you might want to check out my "Are you a slut?" test)

Part Two (Yes or No Questions)

Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer, unless otherwise noted

12)Do you model everything you do, say and wear after your favorite supermodel or actress?

13)Have you modeled any part(s) of your life after the movie "Clueless"?

14)Do you use the word "like" more than twice in a typical sentence?

15)Do you use the word "totally" in a gramatically incorrect way on a regular basis?

16)Do you know what "gramatically incorrect" means?

17)Do you flip your hair more than 100 times a day?

18)Do you actually truly like any of your "friends"?

19)Can you count the number of "friends" you have?

20)Can you count?

RESULTS:

40-56:

Oh god, you're a hoochie. What are you doing on my webpage? Don't you have a mall to go to?

25-39:

You're not the biggest hoochie ever, but a hoochie's a hoochie, so get the hell out of here!

10-24

Getting close, but you may still be salvagable. Call me, we'll get together and watch "A Clockwork Orange" 'til we puke.

9-below

You're not a hoochie. Now let's go to the GAP and celebrate. That was a trick! If that sounded appealing to you, then go back and take the test again. And add twenty points just for lying, you hoochie

SOULS VISITED: