My Snow-globe Life #1

by johnnie b. baker

USA!

Snow-globe stories included -
Gettysburg
Hawaii
Carlsbad Caverns
New York City
San Diego
Paul Bunyan
Clown
Seattle
SPAM
Rock and Roll
Death Valley

I waited in the checkout line behind my mother like a good sheep, paid my money, got my bag and receipt, and walked out the exit, but as I left, the alarms went off. My mother turned around and looked back at me and gave me the look of death. I told her I didn’t take anything.

Then a security guard started coming at me with aggressive authority barking orders. I looked at him and “The only power this guy has is the power I give him” popped in my head. He yelled at me to stop, and I yell back “I didn’t take shit!” then turned and walked away brusquely. My mother tried to convince me to stop as she now stood between me and the security guard, but I was clean, I had done nothing wrong, and I had the arrogance of truth. I was not going to waste my time and give this guy any power.

I kept walking, the security guard did not give chase, and once completely off the museum property I stopped and waited for my mom to catch up. Got the “You’re a rude immature ass” lecture, but so what? Rock ‘n Roll motherfucker!

It must not be easy to be my mother.

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Non-Fiction

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