audio: germs live "hang on to yourself" and "forming"

The GERMS are: bobby (darby crash) pyn on lead vocals and writer, pat (rick tragic) smear on lead guitar, lorna (terry target) doom on bass & cliff hanger on drums. bobby met pat while cutting acid in 7th grade, pat turned bobby onto bowie and they have been friends since. after graduating (?) they decided to focus their destructive forces elsewhere. they met lorna, who just escaped from suburbia, in a hotel, and picked up donna rhia on drums. at this time they recorded their single ["forming"]. since then donna got a mutual "get the fuck out" and they acquired rodney's discovery, cliff hanger........


bobby: how many we up to?

pat: 500,000 i think.

bobby: right, we almost sold 1000, gotten great reviews though.

pat: have you read the slash review?

bobby: oh they did start sending it to england finally, they sent some to n.y.

pat: they did play it on the radio in kentucky, tennesee and.....

market: ohio?

pat: no, some other place. kentucky, tennesee, and... new jersey yeah!

X-8: that's pretty good. are you gonna release another single?

bobby: yea soon as we sign with rca and throw cliff out.

X-8: no, really have you had any better offers?

pat: we've had so many offers.

bobby: nobody calls back.

pat: we always get offers, we always get offers. we got offers from every major label there is.

al: you recorded rite here

bobby: rite here. too bad the equipment wasn't working this good.

pat: we only had one amp then.

bobby: we stole that one. tell them how becky got it.

lorna: she told her grandmother she was dying of leukemia and she needed to pay the medical expenses.

pat: you gotta call her donna, even tho...

lorna: you know, that fat girl.

bobby: no that's xandra!

pat: you should see some of the scums we attract, xandra, jade, pearl...

al: why don't you do the, throw stuff on the audience anymore?

pat: we're interested if they'll like us without it.

al: we heard you were banned for it.

bobby and pat: yeah!!!

pat: the weirdos finally talked the whisky into letting us...

bobby: we're not sure yet, they didn't call

pat: there, everytime i go to the starwood, they beat me up.

bobby: yeah the starwood used to book us every week....and canceled us.

al: how many gigs have you played now?

lorna: 6

X-8: now for a stupid question, what's your philosophy of life?

bobby: kill it, na, we're all devout scientologists

pat: we got a psycho on our hands...

bobby: if you were gonna make a speech what would you say?

pat: uuhhmm

bobby: yeah oohmmmmm

bobby, pat, lorna: ooommmmmm

al, X-8: oommmmm

all: oommmmmmmmmmmmmmm

bobby: that wasn't very good.

X-8: how many copies of the single did you print?

pat: 3000

bobby: they messed up the first 1000, we were pissed!!

pat: yea, and the back says, this record causes ear cancer, we're gonna shoot him in the alley, never got around to that.

al: wasn't that your idea?

bobby, pat: FUCK NO!!! what do you think we are?

X-8: say some lyrics

pat: go down, shut down, snap crackle pat

bobby: you get the ones everyone gets.

pat: i can't believe i said that, snap crackle pat, i don't believe it.

X-8: how do you like the masque?

bobby: oh, it's very dirty, too bad they don't pay us to play was a benefit so that guy could time we're gonna do a benefit for us, to pay your rent

market: what happened that night?

bobby: oh, fuck

al: what do you do about people scratching you, like at the masque?

bobby: i really like it, know why, it shows me people like us.

pat: the only reason people come to see us is to get hurt. oh, what about that jerk.

bobby: oh, that guy in the back room, i go haven't you been to a punk concert before, he's going listen i was into this before you were born, right, what a jerk....did you see how i'd say come back in, it's empty....

X-8: i know people would just vacate

bobby: it was nuts, they'd come back in.

pat: they were stupid!

bobby: like at the whisky, after the first 10 minutes there was like this 8 foot space between the stage and the audience, people were running out the doors and stuff, at the masque i say come back in and people would come in i couldn't believe it, i wasn't hurting anyone....i swear to god they almost had to call an ambulance for me at the end, i almost had a heart att.. nervous brea...cause the last 10 minutes i was sitting there and this girl was banging a gun on the side of my head, did i walk off the stage?

X-8: no you crawled off.

bobby: did they really rip your shirt off?

lorna: yes, it was so embarrasssing, i wasn't even wearing underwear...

bobby: you know what's horrible i was going to rip my shirt off during the second song, and then somebody almost strangled me with it, i didn't get a chance to do it.

X-8: what did you write in the bible?

bobby: i autographed it, then they threw it back, melissa ran out there and beat somebody up and took it and she's going if you want it back you gotta do this and that....she kept it she's got it at home

X-8: the ultimate fan

bobby: she cuts my hair

X-8: what's your favorite tv programs?

pat: charlie's angels

cliff: six million $ man

bobby: show? i don't like shows. i like the movie 'boy with green hair' cause my father was in it

X-8: what was he?

bobby: the boy with green hair

cliff: is this fucking thing on?

al: yes, say something...

X-8: what do you dream about?

pat: don't you dare, i don't want him to know

X-8: where did you get cliff?

market: off a hanger, from a hanger...

bobby: rodney discovered him.

pat: he's rodney's discovery, rodney you fucking asshole

cliff: really rodney, what you done to my career?

X-8: where do you live?

bobby: i live in this house rig--

market: septic tank

bobby: well, my parents moved out to another state and i didn't want to go so we boarded up there's a door you know that went from my room to the other parts of the house and we boarded up and cemented it over and this old lady movd in and she doesn't know there's a room there...

pat: he goes in and out the window.

X-8: tell us about the one-eyed monster.

bobby: it was told, it wasn't a joke it was true, what monster, you mean the waitress in santa monica?

[yes they did tell us]

bobby: we went, it was after this, something we went to this coffee shop...and we're sitting down, right and this waitress comes up and she, we're looking at the menu, she says can i help you, we look up and i see one eye is off to the side, she's going like this (stare) staring at me and i go nooooo, and she walks away.... later on this bus boy walks up and i look up and this bus boy's are like this too, i'm just going ooooooo except for him, what'd you do?

pat: i wrote runaways on the wall with shit.

market: how'd you write it?

pat: i'm not saying, that was gross too, shit, trying to spell with shit.

X-8: do you like godzilla?

bobby: fuck no, i could never figure out if they were supposed to be funny or jokes or what, they're jokes, they really are... they like were stabbing american coloniels, it's propanganda, sell it to the dils... the dils manager, you know they auditioned their drummer here, and they were telling him you gotta stop acting like a college kid and... you have to wear straight legs... and did they tell him to be a communist?

pat: the dils are fucking bastards

cliff: they didn't tell him to be a communist. just cut your hair, wear straight legs.

bobby: we're david bowie's favorite band... i told him, i said look before we started the band, i gave him this letter saying look we're starting this band called the germs and we're gonna be your favorite band, and he believed me.

market: how do you know?

bobby: he told me i was a good writer

X-8: has he heard you guys?

bobby: uhm, no but...

pat: he's on all our guest lists

bobby: yeah, we put him on all our guests lists, if he's in the country or not, we don't know if he's seen us probably not

pat: he probably has

bobby: uh uh

pat: shut up, he PROBABLY HAS

bobby: i like the old gentleman

pat: oh, put that back and erase it.

market: he is rather old

bobby: he is not. iggy's older...

pat: and iggy's a fucking bastard, he's a fart, he used to be a friend of ours, he's an asshole now.

bobby: last time we saw him he acted like he didn't know us "i don't know youuuu"

pat: he used to be a friend of ours, we used to give him our he....

bobby: lives in topanga with 3 faggots

X-8: what were you doing 3 years ago?

pat: friends with iggy...

bobby: we went to ips, the school they threw us out for having our own religion...we called it interplanetary school... everyone certified space case silver stickers... we convinced about half our school thar i was god and he was jesus, this one girl almost had a nervous breakdown....cause i sat there for like 1/2 an hour telling her i was god and she started screaming and there was all these bibles in the class and she started throwing them at us, she didn't come back to school for a week...they used to hassle me for having green hair and he'd walk around with ice creams in his coat without the wrappers.

The Answer is Scientology

bobby: scientology is the biggest rip off there is but it's also worth the money, their philosophy is unbelievable, it's no...

market: do birds fly?

bobby: that's just to get you to know how to talk to people, manson got thrown out of scientology the first day, they said he was psychotic, everything they say...the government's been supressing them...everything they say works, if i had $10,000, i'd go back and do it.

market: it doesn't work.

bobby: it does work, have you taken any courses?

market: i've watched someone before


cliff: the results are overemphasized


market: do you believe that prince...uh...

bobby: have you seen someone walk thru a wall?

market: uhm, yes as a matter of fact....

al: three times!

bobby: you don't know anything about scientology i only took one course

market: i hate scientology, it's so fucked!

bobby: then why did you bring it up it's gonna save the world.

X-8: who sprayed germs on that sign?

bobby: we didn't do that.

pat: that was a cigarette ad.

bobby: cause we cause cancer, germs cause everything.

X-8: oh, yea. i didn't connect the two

bobby: wow, i didn't either

cliff: neither did i when i did it, is it noticeable?

bobby: you know what's fun, you take like 10 hits of acid and drink a 6 pack of beer and you go down to santa monica pier, there's a bridge that goes to nowhere cause they're supposed to lower it for boats and you go out to the end and jump off right, and you can swim and it's so great cause it's dark you know and you can just swim and it doesn't matter if you live or die or anything just swim and swim and you can feel the fish nibbling at your feet.......





interviewed in pat smear's garage
photos by al
re-transcribed by X-8