Dear Diary,
After only a short time with my master, I have found him to be the most
wonderful, kind, sensitive and clever master I have ever had. I have known since that first
moment when he found me that I was in love. The problem is, he will not tell me that he
loves me. Could it be that he does not? When I try to do things for him -- give him great
and wonderful gifts, shower him with affection -- he only wants me to: a) take the gifts
away and b) "Stop it, Jeannie!" Oh, how can I make my master understand that I do this to
please him? Not to annoy him. This morning, for instance, I went to my neighborhood
grocer to shop for my master's supper. (A man on television told me to go.) When I
returned, my master said he would like to go swimming. So, I blinked him a swimming
pool! He did not appreciate it. So, I blinked the pool out. My master was not pleased that
I left him buried in the cement. Oh, well...
Oh, the most wonderful thing has happened! At the market today, I was reminded
of the time in Ancient Baghdad when Ali, Killer of Many Giant Men attacked me in the
Marketplace! Well, that is not the wonderful thing, but when I told my master this
morning, ooooo, he was so angry. He wanted me to take him to Ali so that he could
avenge this great insult. My hero...
When my master and I arrived in Ancient Baghdad and we found Ali, my master
attacked him. Right there in the Marketplace! Our ancient proposal custom! My master
does love me! I told Mama and Papa right away. They were so thrilled. They began
making plans for our wedding while I went searching for my master. He had managed to
get himself sold in the slave auction and then imprisoned. Is that not sweet? I rushed to my
master before Ali could do him any harm. And there he stands, across the room. He is
talking to my father. I hope they get along well. I must attend to my guests. More later...
My master is an insincere, deceitful rat! He does not wish to marry me. What is
worse, he would rather be breathing at NASA than remain here in Baghdad with me in our
new home.
So be it! I blinked him back so that he might keep Ali company for a while.
Always the same old thing. When I want my master, he does not care. But when
he wants me -- ho ho -- he thinks he can just call and I will come to him. Well. Just this
once. I do not wish my master to become a shish kabob. I will let him suffer the slings and
arrows of my father for the moment and maybe he will change his mind. This master of
mine is very firm in his convictions. That is why he is once again with Ali. But oh, my.
He does care for me. He was going to allow the hot iron to pierce his flesh before he told
Ali where I was. I cannot allow him to come to harm. We will let Ali pick on someone his
own size from now on. Perhaps the rats in the palace need some discipline.
My master is still a rat. Even though he said some lovely things to me when he
thought that I would not come back, he still was going to take out Miss Full Moon -- I
mean Miss Galaxy. (The fat showoff.) I do not think the restaurants of Cocoa Beach allow
men in towels to dine, though. But I will let my master figure that one out!
