"Kim, come back here right now." Jordan yelled from his front door.
"Jordan, I have nothing to say to you." I replied.
"But I have something to say."
"Well, you know what, if it's about me and Zac, I don't want to hear about it."
Jordan grabbed my arm and yanked me to turn around and face him. "I need to clear something up with you."
"Is it that important that you cannot wait until later?"
"Trust me, it's incredibly important, especially to me."
"Well, I don't know if I want to listen."
"Oh, God! You're so hard to cope with sometimes!"
"Aren't I?" He sighed. "Kim, please, I want to know just one thing that's been contemplating me since I knew about your relationship with Zac. It's really important that I find out."
"Is it a personal question?" I asked.
"That depends on how you take it."
I figured he had enough of my nonsense.
"Okay, let's go sit down and talk this out." I replied, and walked over to his porch swing.
"Kim, this is extremely important that I know."
"Jordan, enough! Quit stalling and spill it!"
"Are you and Zac planning on....well, planning on having sex?" he asked.
"Why, you want to warn me if he has an STD or something?"
"He's a virgin; I doubt it that he would have an STD."
"How do you know he's a virgin?" I asked. Jordan glared at me immediately with wide eyes. "Let me rephrase that."
"I think I already have the answer to my question now." he said, and started to get up.
"No, Jordan, sit back down," I said and yanked him back down, "If you must know, I am a virgin. But how do you know that Zac isn't one?"
"I wouldv'e seen it coming. Besides, he tells me everthing."
"Try me. Has he told you how far we've gone together?"
"Kissing with tongues." I gave Jordan a thoughful look. "Jordan, don't be a baby, just say French kissing." "Okay, french kissing."
"Oh, okay." Yeah Jordan, Zac tells you everything.
"Anyways, back to my question. Are you guys having sex or planning on doing it?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Everytime it's mentioned around him, he jumps at the word and them he asts as if it's a taboo."
"Jordan, this is none of your business and you don't need to know about it."
"Why not?" "Because this is between me and Zac, and you don't have the right to know unless one of us wants or feels comfortable to tell you."
I sat on my couch staring at the phone on the coffee table. I had called Zac earlier, but Jessica had informed me that he had gone out and that he'd be back soon.
"Zac, hurry up and get home." I said to myself. It had been nearly a half of and hour since I called, and time was ticking by so slow that I was getting very jittery inside.
The conversation that I had with Jordan the previous week made me think. Zac and I were getting heavy in our relationship, and at times we came close the having sex. But back then, I wasn't sure if I was ready, and if I had been, I wasn't prepared.
This is what really got me. I was confused. I was confused about everything. I didn't want an "on the go" first time. I wanted a "sweet and spicy" kind of first experience. But I never got around to asking Zac if he was ready. Knowing how much I knew him, I pretty much figured out an answer for myself.
I heard the front door open and then slam. "Kim? Kim, are you here?" I heard him call out.
"In the family room." I called back.
"Hey," he said, and walked over and sat down on the sofa next to me, kissing me, "are you okay? Jessica said you called, and she said you sounded worried."
"No, just lonely. Zac, I need to ask you a burning question."
My tone was serious. I stared hard into his eyes, and he stared back. In a trance, he replied, "I need to ask you a question also."
My breathing started to get denser and my eyelashed batted more and faster. Zac's hand reached up to my cheek. I turned my lips into his palm and lightly kissed it.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he whispered hoarsely.
I pressed my lips against his. "I'm ready, I need to know if you are." I replied.
"Right here?" "Right now."
I pulled off my shirt. Shifting his body against me for the fornication, I kissed him like there was no tomorrow.
"Zac, if I say stop, will you stop?"
"What do you think?"
"What if it hurts, and I say stop? What if you're almost there and I want you to stop?"
"Why in God's power would I disrespect you?"
There was silence. Only the staring into each other's eyes occurred.
"Make love to me, Zac."
"I-" he started. I put my finger to his mouth.
"It's all taken care of. Now, do I need to trust you; or do you need to trust me?" I asked seductively, climbing onto his lap.
"Well, you won't have to anticipate that for long now." Immediately he manuevered us both so that he was on me.
Soon, my jeans were on the ground, and I started to work my hands down to his pants. Never did I take my lips off of him.
I reached my hands down for the fly of his cords, and felt him erect, enjoying the sensation of the feeling that it brought to me. Faster was it I became and undressing him.
Harder and harder I felt him, and as good as it was, I couldn't compare it to anything else that I had ever experienced with him, or in my life.
Making love on that leather sofa was unexpectedly wonderful. As Zac penetrated me deeper and deeper, it brought our climax to a whole new level; a seperate world.
"Oh." he gasped. It was over. We closed our eyes, and he lay down his head on my breastbone. My fingers ran half way through his damp mass of matted hair.
"Zac....." I whispered. Out of my eyes came tears.
Zac looked up when he heard me whimper. "Are you okay?" he asked, kssing my tears away, mistaking them for sign of pain.
"I'm absolutely....feeling much more....different, that's all." I replied, and put on a weak smile.
It was awfully hot in the room, and the leather was cold. Zac blew his breath lightly onto my sweaty face.
Zac got up and pulled on just his jeans. I just stayed in my cringed position, lying down on the couch.
"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" he asked when he noticed me slightly wincing, "What's wrong?"
"Zac, tell me you used protection." I gasped.
"Yeah, I did. Are you hurting? Did I hurt you?"
"No, it just hurt a little." I whispered. My teeth started to chatter, and I got cold.
"Here, let me get you a blanket." He went upstairs to get a blanket, and then came back down and covered me with my navy afghan.
He got under the blanket with me on the couch. Immdiately, I felt more safe, secure, and satisfied as he wrapped his arms around my stomach and kissed my neck, lightly breathing on it. I closed my eyes, and didn't let another worry enter my head.
