These are actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes included.
* My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
* Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
* Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
* Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
* Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
* John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
* Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
* Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
* Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
* Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
* Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
* Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
* Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
* I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
* Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
* Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
* My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
* Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
* Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
* Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
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Some fun at church
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies areminvited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
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