From the East to the West, from Iceland to Kentucky, the people of the world are filled with a familiar awe when the muse upon the name "Zee Poo-Dyba". Some even quiver with joy. All are familiar with his accomplishments--developing the first styrofoam perennial, putting an end to the Stretch Pants Era, and spreading across the globe the news that Coca-Cola can be used to get those stubborn stains out of toilet bowls--but few people are aware of Zee's humble origin.

Zee came from a poor, angry family in the deep North. His mother gave birth to him between an igloo and a stump of a maple tree, clutching the ear of a live rabbit for comfort, while his father continued to work in the fields, cultivating dragonflies. One would have never expected that from this family would come the world's greatest Zoologist, Ambassador, Raspberry Picker, Research Scientist, Shoe-Shiner, and Musician. But it happened... one bright, shiny day in August.

As a boy, Zee always knew he was different. He didn't play catch the squirrel like the other boys. He kept to himself and made working watch gears out of dandelion stems. He didn't have a crush on Cindy Bonita like the other boys. He amused himself with sexual fantasies involving radishes and porcupines. Zee looked at the world through a pair of dark sunglasses, and only took them off on bright days.

When Zee turned 18, he met a circus performer traveling through his humble, angry town. Tired of being stagnant, he hitched a ride with the man and never said goodbye to his family. The circus performer took him all the way to Canada, where Zee went to school and studied under the Great Rabuddi. Rabuddi taught him everything he knew.

From there, Zee went on to develop his own fortune, and was very successful. We are all familiar with his organization of the Russian Jig danced by 7 monkeys atop the Empire State Building. We all smile at the thought of his friendly nude run-in with the Dean of Thailand. We all giggle when his nose is mentioned.

Yes, Zee Poo-Dyba changed the world. A man, a myth, a mega-mall.