I moaned a little as he kissed me. It was the tenderest feeling I had ever experienced. He didn’t press on he just let his lips linger softly over mine. They were so soft. His lips felt so good against mine. I never wanted him to stop. I felt safe in his arms just like last night when he held me as I slept. I wanted more but I was too scared to go on. I pulled away abruptly.
“Um…” I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“I’m sorry.” He said immediately. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No! It’s fine really. I really like you Nick it’s just…”
“Just what?” he asked curiously.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” I said quietly.
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t. I have to explain. I don’t want to get into it much right now but it’s about my last boyfriend.”
“What about him?”
“His name was Peter. We dated for about three years. In the beginning, he was so kind to me and always out of his way to please me. I thought I loved him. Then after we got serious, he changed. He became this mean horrible monster who treated me like shit. I was too afraid to break it off because I didn’t want to end up alone. Finally, I got some sense knocked into me and I left him. I was depressed so my friends sent me on a little vacation. I came here to escape my life for awhile.”
“Then this happened. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s over and done with. I’m sorry if in some way I led you on.”
“You didn’t do that at all. I promise I won’t push but please don’t shut me out. I want to be with you. I know we’ve only known each other for two days but that’s how I feel. Will you let me just be with you the way we are now?” he looked at me pleadingly.
“Yes.” Was all I said and I snuggled next to him.
Part of me sighed in happiness at the feeling of his body next to mine. The other side is telling me I was stupid to tell him that I was too scared to truly be with him. I mentally kicked myself for even stopping myself from deepening the kiss. Why was I being so stubborn to my true feelings? He rested his head on my shoulder and sighed. I looked at him. I was being so stupid. I should just tell him. But something held me back. I couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. I was fighting an inner battle but on the exterior, I just sighed happily and snuggled closer. He felt so good in my arms. Like he fit them perfectly. He raised his head again and accidentally on purpose brushed his lips against my cheek. I shuddered slightly. This was going to be hard to fight. I decided to enjoy the moment and not worry for a while. I leaned back, smiled and closed my eyes.
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