Our Take on the FanFic

"...Alex’s heart melted at his words, and she responded to his kisses with all the passion that she possessed in her body. Thoughts raced through her mind so quickly, but she pushed them aside and focused on the feelings of love and contentment that Ashley was creating inside of her. She wasn’t sure how things would work out between them. Eventually, she would have to leave them to return to school, there were the fans and the public, and there were so many things to face, but as long as they stayed true to each other, it would be okay..."(Excerpted from "Put it to Paper", an original fanfic from O-Town Fan Fiction Central .)

       Okay, so by now all you mature teenyboppers are familiar with the ever-popular "fanfic" concept. The style of the typical fanfic story goes a little something like this: a random girl (usually, the writer will use herself), and her favorite male celebrity (!!!!!!) have a chance meeting (!!!!!!) through a radio contest/on an airplane/in a hotel/randomly on the street/etc...and it usually ends with the celebrity falling madly in love with his number 1 (!!!!!!!!!) fan. Utter hilarity and/or mushiness (usually both) is at the author's discretion. Well, this time, it's our fanfic, and WE'RE the authors, and you can guess how much discretion we're gonna excercise! (Hint- It's a parody.) So sit back, relax, and turn the music down low as we escort you to a magical land where Ashley has forgotten Shelli, Dan has dumped Cindy, Jacob's the Fabio of the new millenium, Trevor will date a fan, and Erik has forgotten all about Angelina Jolie's lips and Cindy C's beauty mark... It's a land we like to call...

       Muffy Sanders shielded her beachwater blue eyes from the scorching Redding, CA sun. As she completed her daily 5 a.m. power-walk down Angel Boulevard, Muffy thought hard about plans for that day. "Okay, I gotta stop at the Audobon Society and re-new my membership, bake some chicken soup for the sick little boy across the street, donate half my J. Crew wardrobe to the Salvation Army, mail my Christian Children's Fund letter, and somewhere in there I gotta write my valedictory speech, fly to Iraq and declare peace, have lunch with Chelsea Clinton, and I MUST make sure I squeeze in a random chance meeting with Ashley from O-Town, of whom I know nothing," Muffy thought to herself.
       Such was a typical day for the 18-year old former Miss Teenage Redding. See, Muffy wasn't just an ORDINARY ordinary girl. She was a SPECIAL ordinary girl. She gave so much of her time to charities, fund-raisers and her community, that the beautiful, happy teenager BARELY had any time for her family or 53 closest friends, nevermind romance. Though Muffy knew she was the envy of every girl in town and the object of desire of every guy, she laughed off the thought and concentrated on bettering herself as a person. Love would just have to wait.
       "Hmm, with all of this stuff, how am I EVER going to co-organize the Annual Pediatric Aids Foundation carnival?" Muffy was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice a tall, handsome stranger coming her way as she rounded the corner.
       "I guess I'm gonna have to ask my dear friend Jennifer Love Hewitt for some hel- OH!" Muffy stopped mid-thought as she collided head-on with the young Adonis.
       "Oh! JEEPERS, I'm sorry. I'm such a clutz!" Muffy apologized. As she bent down to pick up her Discman, which had fallen, but not broken, on the hot gound, she made eye contact with Him. In that moment, she found herself staring into the most amazing, honest blue eyes she'd ever seen.
       "No, no, it's MY fault completely. I'm so sorry. I'm Adonis, by the way..." He said, extending a hand to Muffy, who felt she could barely breathe.
       "Muffy...Sanders. Muffy Sanders," she stammered.
       "I was kidding, Muffy. My name's not Adonis. It's Ashley, Ashley Angel. I'm from O-Town."
       "O-Town?" Muffy looked at him like was speaking Swahili.
       "Yes, the boyband, not the city...from Making the Band...the TV show. But if you ask me, the music biz in general is so shallow and bad for the soul. Especially boybands. They dress us up like little mini-Elvis' and prance us around infront of teenage girls so they'll run out and buy our albums. It's so cheap. Sometimes I feel so dirty...but, enough about me."
       "So you're...a celebrity?"
       "Yup."
       "A major teen idol?"
       "Voted Teen People's Most Gorgeous guy, in fact. Two years in a row."
       Muffy muffled a laugh. "So then...let me get this straight...you, a self-declared major teen idol, are just randomly walking the streets of your hometown as if you're just a normal guy?"
       "Yes, of course. I always do that."
       "That's amazing."
       "Isn't it? But enough about me, Muffy. Which by the way, is an amazingly beautiful name."
       Muffy felt the blood rush to her perfectly clear cheeks. "Thanks...my mom named me after her...dog. From when she was a kid. She died when she was 15. She was hit by a U-haul van."
       "Your mom?"
       "No, the dog...Muffy." Muffy suddenly found herself embarassed at her rambling.
       "That's amazingly sad. I am so sorry," Ashley offered sympathetically.
       "It's okay, she's over it. Poor, sad b*tch."
       "The dog?"
       "No, my mom. But, I'm sure you don't care about that..."
       "Oh, yes I do, infact. I'm a very sensitive, caring individual. I feel its neccessary to give my all to being a selfless, humane person, and never getting too caught up in my own, shallow, MTV world."
       Muffy gasped in astonishment. Was it possible that she had finally found a man who understood her?
       "Thats astonishing! Could it be I have finally found a man who understands me?" she asked, looking directly into Ashley's clear blue eyes, which were, by the way, also the most amazing, honest eyes Muffy had ever seen.
       "I guess it is possible. Anything's possible, Muffy. I truly believe that," Ashley said, gazing at Muffy's gorgeous face and paying special attention not to let his eyes slip down to her amazingly pert breasts, which were partially revealed in her sweat-soaked sports-bra. Ashley shook his head. "Remember the word of Christ, remember the word of Christ..." he repeated over and over to himself.
       "So, Ashley...that's not a very common name for a guy. Your mother must have been a 'Gone With the Wind' fan and named you after Ashley Wilkes."
       Ashley's amazing, honest blue eyes lit up. "How EVER did you know? You must have read it in my official biography, right?"
       "No," Muffy smiled. "I haven't even read your biography. I didnt even know who you were until a minute ago."
       "Really?" Ashley could barely contain himself.
       "Of course not. I am way too busy giving myself to others to pay attention to the Hollywood scene. The last TV show I ever watched was a rather disappointing episode of Married With Children back in 1992," she replied mildly.
       "That's amazing...I respect that. Married With Children was a very immoral show, anyway."
       "I agree."
       Ashley couldn't believe his luck, Finally, a girl who was interesting, intelligent, giving, had a sense of humor, and didn't care about his boyband status. It was almost too good to be true.(Note from the author- That's why this is fanfic, Ash.)
       "So, Muffy...are you busy tonight?" Ashley said.
       "Why?"
       "Well, usually on Saturday nights me and the guys...I mean, the band I am in, O-Town...we have promo stuff, or a show, or a movie premiere or a party or some other shallow nonsense like that. But tonight, I amazingly happen to be free."
       "What an amazing coincidence."
       "What about you?"
       Muffy looked up in thought. "Amazingly, with all my charities and functions, I just happen to be completely free on a Saturday night as well."
       "Don't you have a boyfriend?"
       Muffy shrugged. "I don't really have time for one, I guess. Amazing, huh?"
       "Of course...neither do I," Ashely declared somewhat bitterly. "I mean, ya know, have time for a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, I mean."
       "Oh, of course."
       "So, then...Muffy...would you want to...maybe..go out with me tonight? Like, to see Head Over Heels, with Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Monica Potter?" (Note from author- That was not an endorsement.)
       Muffy looked confused. "But, Ashley..wouldn't you get hounded by fans going out to a public place like a movie theater? Especially with a date?"
       Ashley firmly shook his head. "Amazingly, that never happens to me."
       "Wow, that is amazing."
       "Isn't it, though?" Ashley feigned a devilish smile. Well, about as devilish a smile as you can get when you're as angelic as Ashley Angel. "So, would you come?"
       "That would be great."
       "Great...so...I have to get home and rotate my comb rack. But I'll see you around 7 tonight?"
       "Seven?" Muffy inquired.
       "Why, yes. Isn't that the time I'm SUPPOSED to pick you up? That's the time I usually pick-up my random fans when I take them out to see a movie. I mean, ya know...if I ever DID do that, which I don't. Or...haven't. You're the first fan I have ever taken out."
       "Really? That's amazing."
       "Isn't it?"
       "Yes, it is...so, you'll need my address, then?" Muffy offered.
       Ashley shook his head. "Nope, I already know where you live."
       "You do?"
       "Yup."
       "That's amazing....uh, okay, well...I have to get going, too. If I'm not in the door by 7 a.m. on the dot, my lawyer mother and doctor father will start to worry."
       "Okie-dokie. Seven o'clock. Till then..." Ashley replied sweetly, and began walking in the opposite direction.
       "Yup! See ya!" Muffy called back.
       As Ashley walked down West Angel Boulevard and Muffy down East, Ashley paying special attention not to turn around and check out Muffy's perfectly toned buttocks as they power-walked her in the direction of her $5 million mansion, Muffy couldn't control her wild thoughts.
       "I don't believe it. I have a date with Ashley Angel from the boyband O-Town! I mean, not that I care about him being famous. Or even that he's so dead-sexy I wanted to jump his bones the first time I saw him. I just care that he's such an intellect and seems to be a very giving person of...himself. And I respect that....wow, I feel like I'm in that Model Behavior movie that only like, 11 people watched nation-wide. This is just so...utterly...amazing."