judas
This story is an improv. I have been wanting to write a story centered around a "Judas" character but could never come up with anything and my recent block lacked progress with any stories. This idea came to me as I was driving home after class.
You know that story from the Bible? The one with the guy that followed Jesus then betrayed him, only later to be found hanging from a tree as guilt sunk her nasty fangs into his soul. I was never a religious man. I never believed any truth to that story, especially the idea of a man turning his back on a friend. I felt if a man did do this, he deserved to be hung from a tree.
The comments were made “off the record”. The interviewer decided to loosen me up with a bevy of alcoholic beverages as a lead way to find out who I truly was. The mysterious persona had mystified numerous other interviewers and this one made it a mission to find me out, get my inner workings revealed. After pushing a few too many drinks my judgment clouded. My lips began to work faster than my slow reactive brain thus instigating the subject of my former group mates and their confidential personal matters.
“This is off the record”, I said hoping yet failing to cover my already imprinted tracks.
“Of course” she responded her smile sincere, her blue eyes twinkling as her tape recorder went round filling with the hidden truths.
Weeks later the magazine hit stands. It flew off the shelves as the gossip columnists and entertainment shows scrambled to relay the newly revealed facts that tarnished the good boy images so closely guarded by the once megastar group.
My face was splashed across the cover. The headline read: JC Chasez: Former Boy Band Member Reveals All.
Joeys’ incessant cheating, Lances’ alcoholism and numerous failed attempts at getting clean, Chris’ statutory rape charge, and the sexual orientation of Justin all littered the thin pages painting the picture of troubled men with the façade of golden boys.
Justin was gay. A fag, a homo…gay, as was I, yet had failed to mention that minor detail as I ranted on about others predicaments. Justin always pleaded for me to keep quiet about his sexual preference and the fact we often fucked. He felt it would kill any chance at the success and acceptance he desperately craved. I vowed to never tell. Keeping the promise I was a true friend, never one to turn their back on another.
Rumors had been told and spread throughout the celebrity circuit of the members’ dilemmas. Their personal catastrophes were either taken lightly or quickly buried under the avalanche of other trouble ridden stars. All of them, except Justins’.
His name remained in the papers, the rumors became more rampant, the backlash began and continued to grow. Fans turned on him not ready or willing to accept a gay man with open arms. He was dropped from his label due to the complete destruction of his image despite his lucrative solo effort. The assault and beating after the club kept him home ridden in fear of more hate attacks.
The negativity built while Justin did the best he could to conquer the battle internally. Never letting others in on the pain he suffered.
He was found hanging in his bathroom. No last words were left, just the end of the harmful repercussions to my stupid mouth.
As the one who voiced the utterly hidden persona I should have been the one to hang; I betrayed him.
Justin had changed the story.