"Men aren't all that bad Nicole, only the ones like Joey," said Chris with a small laugh. "Yeah well I can't believe Justin would go out with a girl only for her body, but he is," I replied in disgust.
Justin overhears and quickly pulls me aside. "What do you know exactly about her?" he asked me. Blood boiled inside me. "That you're only using her for a good screw Justin! I mean what happened to the Southern gentleman I used to know?" I said to him on the brink of crying. "What me and Britney do is none of your business Nicole! Do you understand me?" he shot back. "Yeah I understand plenty! That you'd pick a girl's body over personality!" I said in a quick reply. "Look I'm sorry if you heard us earlier today in the room but what I do is what I do, not what you do,"
"I'm just a little ashamed of your behavior Justin. You're my best friend and I thought you were better than that," I said my anger softening. Justin didn't have a reply for that but instead walked away. I did too and walked out of the club, only to have everyone but Justin follow after me. "Come back Nicole!" Joey and JC yelled at me. I didn't want to listen to them and kept walking. They caught up to me and the others went to go after Justin. I had tears streaming down my cheeks and I was in hysterics. Joey came and hugged me tight and JC offered comforting words.
"Come on Nicole you can't be so hard on yourself. Justin needs to make his own decisions, even in dating relationships," JC said. He didn't understand. "It's not that I'm just stressed because of my ex, my uncaring mother, and Justin too. I'm an emotional wreck and I'd like to be alone right now," I said slowly. It was the first time I had conveyed my issues to anyone. They looked at each other with blank glances.
"Um…Nicole just come back to the club with me and have a good time for the last hour we have before curfew," Joey insisted. I didn't want to go. Justin had made me completely upset, but in a positive way. He made me see it wasn't just him I was mad at. I agreed to go with Joey though.
But I made Joey promise to stay with me, that his "women" would have to wait. He agreed and all three of us made our way back down the street. Justin was nowhere to be seen and I was happy to be away from him just for a little while. Joey wanted to dance with me, so we headed out onto the floor. One of their songs came on and Joey sang to me. It was corny, but sort of sweet.
We left the club a half an hour later and headed back to the hotel in better spirits. My mind wandered to Justin and what he could be doing, thinking, saying right now. I really loved him. I always have, but for friendship sake never told him, never told myself. I saw our different personalities getting in the way of that. I gave a sigh and followed the guys up to their rooms. Since I was sharing a room with Justin I didn't want to go back there. So I went to Joey and Chris' room. Chris didn't mind, as did Joey. "I'm taking a shower anyway so I will be "zestfully" clean," he sang. "Then can I come too?" Joey asked jokingly. I laughed knowing that it was expected because my former self would have done that out of politeness; but my new self?
Joey sat on his bed flipping through a magazine. I sat next to him, and laying my head on his shoulder, read the magazine with him. I was so comfortable and about to fall asleep when Joey asked me: "You want something to drink?" I nodded and he got me a beer. He popped open the can of his and took a swig. "You're not supposed to be drinking the day before a show Joe," I told him sort of in a motherly tone. "I know. Don't tell Justin? Pretty puhleeze??" he said in a baby voice. "Okay. Now come here and give me a hug to seal the deal and I won't tell," I said. Joey perked up and jumped on the bed.
"Seal the deal huh? How 'bout I give you a great big-- KISS instead?" he replied giving me a peck on the cheek. He laughed and I did too. Joey could be fun, or maybe it was the beer? Chris came out of the bathroom just in the same time that Joey kissed me on the cheek. "Hey am I missing something here? I thought JUSTIN was with Nicole, Joey," he said. "I don't think so Chris. We're just friends," I replied. Chris didn't seem to believe me when I said it. I got up from the bed. I gave a small yawn and then decided to go back to my room to sleep with or without Justin there.
I got in the room and crawled into the bed. I fell asleep almost instantly, and must've been asleep for a long time because it was 1 am when I finally woke up. Justin was in the bed next to me. There was a note attached to the dresser drawer on my left side. It was from Justin. He was apologizing for his actions, and that he wanted me to come with him and the guys and live on the tour bus for a while. I didn't believe the apology, but I accepted it anyway. I rubbed my eyes and groaned. I turned and looked over at Justin, he was talking in his sleep. I stared at him intently. I was so obsessed with him that I had forgotten my ugly life. I was glad for that much. ~THE NEXT DAY~ We were all set to leave when I got a phone call from my mother. She said "Nicole where are you? I thought you were coming back to school?" I replied "I'm living with Justin for a while," She wasn't too happy with my plans and had an argument with me about how important school and my life was, that touring with Justin was not the answer. I hung up on her while she was in the middle of her speech. I didn't want to hear it.
"Ready to go?" Justin asked me. "Yeah. My mother just wanted to say hi," I lied. We got to the airport and had to be escorted to a private part of it. I hadn't realized I was hanging out with superstars. The bodyguards kept a close watch as we walked out onto the plane. We were about to be seated when a small pack of girls ran towards us. They were screaming and yelling for the guys, *N SYNC to sign their posters. The girls had to be only 12 or 13 years old, and as prepubescent as they were I admired their innocence. The guys signed the posters, took pictures with them and then we were on our way again. I looked at each of them and they appeared as if what had just happened was normal. That was a little weird for me to understand. I just had a feeling that this wouldn't be the first of many crazed fans to cross my path.