The stench of puke ran rancid in the air. It was 1am and I felt horrible. I had only had a minute amount of sleep, and now I found myself retching in a hotel bathroom. The guys had decided to stay the night here, instead of heading back to Justin's mothers. I felt chills run up my spine the cold lingered until I got the courage to stand upright. I looked at my haggard appearance in the mirror and gave a little sob. Why had I come to New York? Seeing Justin had not eased my pain any less than I thought it would. I left the bathroom and changed into a new set of clothes. I scribbled a note saying I went out for a while to think some things over, and then made my way out of the hotel. The hotel was dark and had little light except near the security desk and near the doorman. He gave a small wave and I smiled as he opened the door for me. I walked to where Joey's car was and got in. I just drove around the city for a long time, thinking about what I was going to do with my life. Rich was dead, and Justin had done very little to make me happy again. I wanted to quit school and just live off of odd jobs for as long as I could stand it. I could do it, and if I ever had any trouble then I always had Justin. The car parked itself in front of a well lit bar. I got out and went inside. They didn't ask for any ID, which I was happy about, and I sat at the bar and drank. Hours passed by and I gave a stare at my watch, it read 3:02am. I paid the bartender and left hurriedly to Joey's car. They can't find out I took the car! They'd kill me! I jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot. I slowed down and continued my way back to the hotel. I sped up as I neared the hotel, and narrowly missed a tree. My heart gave a leap and I stopped short. Then coming back to reality, I parked the car where it had been last and ran back up to the room of the hotel. I opened the door and tiptoed in. All was quiet and I felt my buzz begin to wear off. "Who is that?" said a voice from behind me. Justin. "Um, just me that's all," I replied shaking with guilt. He came into view and pulled on a white tee. I stared at him, watching closely as he approached. "Where did you go Nicole? I woke up and you were gone," he said. I had forgotten that I had passed out beside him in the large hotel bed. I had to think fast. "I uh, went out to get um, something at the store. I couldn't wait I guess," I said trying to sound slightly sincere. Justin didn't seem to buy it. I had also forgotten he could see right though me when I was lying. He walked closer to me and looked deep into my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and said "Nicole, I care too much about you to see you not talk to me about Rich," he said bringing me close. I trembled and replied: "I'm okay Justin. I can deal with it on my own, really," "So why did you come up here then? I mean don't you need me at all?" Justin said with a look of hurt in his fiery eyes. "Of course I do. It's just that." I trailed off. I didn't have a clue what to say. I needed him I just wouldn't admit it completely. "Well Nicole I had the impression that you came up here to talk to me and work out your feelings. That is what you came up to see me for, right?" he asked me having let go of his embrace. I rolled my eyes and said "Listen Justin. It's hard for me to talk about it, okay? I've had a rough night and all I want to do right now is go to sleep" He looked at me with a sign of disgust. "Alright. Let's go to sleep. I have somewhere to go tomorrow so I might not be around when you wake up. Just help yourself to whatever, okay?" he instructed. I nodded and got back into the bed next to him. He pulled off his shirt and I took off my sweatshirt for bed. I lay down, pulled the covers up to my chin, and turned my body to come to face Justin's back. I couldn't sleep but suddenly I felt the cloak of sleep envelope me as I wrapped my arms around Justin and silently whispered "I love you."