Title: War and Peace

Author: Tequila Worm lia_rider_of_zeranth@yahoo.com

Pairing: Joxer/Ares.

Archive: If you really think it's good enough, just let me know so I have your link.

Rating: The whole thing desrves about an R, but some scenes are NC-17, and some are G.

Warnings: It's a little angsty, but not really all that violent...but it is a first fanfic, so watch out...oh, and it assumes A LOT of things like marriage between Joxer and Ares, Joxer's divinity as God of Peace...a whole bushel of things...

Spoilers: None, as far as I know...

Summary: Ares has to say good bye to Joxer for a time

Dedication: To KiwiJess for introducing me to fanfic and slash in the first place and to my fearless little beta-reader, Mirai Shinranui...Thanks girls!!! *hug*

Oh, and to all of you that need a little slash at the moment...

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Part 1

Ares paced angrily around his throne room, the infamous scowl in place on his face. He was extremely pissed at what he had just been told to do. Zeus had just left after telling his son the terrible, in Ares' opinion, news.

Ares slowed in his pacing slightly, recalling every detail of Zeus' bombshell.

"You must leave Olympus for a time. You have to lead the invading horde away from Greece. This job is so big that you won't be able to stay on Olympus at all. You have to be right in the thick of the action. It is probably going to take you a couple of months to get the forward momentum of the group to stop, and then you have to get them to turn around."

The gleeful look on Zeus' face was almost too much for the War God. Zeus loved nothing more than hurting his son, and taking him away from his lover and spouse, Joxer, was one of his favourites.

"Sure, Zeus. Whatever you say. You are the King of the Gods after all." Ares hadn't trusted himself to say anything else. Knowing his luck, he would wind up getting sent away from Olympus for years.

"Just one more thing though. Your 'husband'," Zeus managed to make it sound like a joke, "is to stay here. Joxer cannot go with you."

With that stunning revelation, Zeus disappeared in a flash of light, leaving one extremely pissed off War God behind.

Ares slowed down, realising that he didn't have much choice. There wasn't a way around Zeus' decree that would allow him to bring Joxer with him. The Peace God had to stay behind, keeping a watch over things, mainly Cupid and Strife, so that they didn't get too out of hand.

Ares finally stopped his pacing, stopping in front of the obsidian throne. He heaved a sigh and flopped down into it.

Joxer walked into the room, carrying a tiny puppy. The little animal was adorable, with two black ears, a white face, and a body of every imaginable color that a dog could be. The puppy was trying to climb up Joxer's body to lick his face while the laughing deity held him gently, but firmly, away.

Ares took the time to study his preoccupied spouse. It still amazed him that Joxer, bumbler extrodinare was so incredibly handsome and really quite able.

Ares studied the face from under hooded eyes. Slightly irregular features didn't diminish from Joxer's beauty; if anything, they enhanced it. Ares groaned slightly, thinking of all the time that he was going to have to spend away from his gorgeous spouse.

Joxer looked up, realising that he wasn't as alone as he had previously thought. His stance was defensive, yet relaxed, ready for anything. Joxer's posture relaxed, however, when he realised that it was his lover. His mouth curved into a coy smile.

"Trying to startle me, are you? You’ve trained me too well for that, you know." His grin turned slightly seductive at the sight of the War God lounging on the throne.

Ares didn't really return the smile, though he accepted his lover onto his lap, wrapping his arms around Joxer's waist, puppy and all.

Joxer let the God rest a moment, trying to get the feel of Ares' mood.

"OK, so what is it? Why are you so angry?" Joxer shifted slightly so that he could see Ares' face.

Ares sighed. "It's Zeus."

He stopped there, letting the little mutt lick his face.

Joxer gently pulled Silar, the puppy, away. "What about Zeus? Come on, love, tell me."

Ares heaved a sigh. "He wants me to go turn a horde away from attacking Greece."

Joxer smiled. "That doesn't sound too bad."

Ares smile wasn't really a smile at all, but more of a grimace. "Slowing and stoping the horde will take at least 2 months, most likely more. Turning them will take even longer."

Joxer's smile faded slightly. "So you're going to have a lot of work to do. I'll be here to help, and I'll give you a massage every night."

Ares turned his face away from Joxer's so that Peace couldn't see his anger. "I won't be able to stay on Olympus. I have to stay with the horde. There's too much work to be done to pop back and forth."

Joxer sat in stunned silence, letting the new information sink in. No Ares...not even briefly...for at least 4 months? What about...weren't they going to try...

Joxer felt his eyes fill with tears. How was he going to get on without War? He needed War just as much as War needed him, Peace. He snuggled into Ares' arms, not caring if the more powerful god felt or saw his tears.

Ares felt the silent shaking of his lover. Knowing that Joxer was in pain made Ares hate Zeus even more. He squeezed Joxer a little tighter and began to curse himself. How was he going to be able to live without the love of his life?

Ares caught his thoughts and began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" demanded Joxer, a little insulted that Ares was laughing.

"My...my thoughts...just thought...sappy...hilarious..." Ares couldn't form a coherent sentence, he was laughing so hard.

Joxer punched his shoulder. "Stop laughing! We have to figure out something!"

Ares stopped laughing instantly when Joxer punched him. It actually hurt. Joxer was getting stronger.

Well, let's see how fast his reflexes have gotten, shall we? thought Ares.

He stood up from his throne, the lap Joxer was sitting on disappearing. The Peace God somehow managed to gracefully land on his feet, never shifting the now sleeping puppy in his arms.

"And what did you do that for, pray tell?" Joxer sensed he was being tested, but he wasn't quite sure why or how.

"To see if your reflexes have developed along with your strength." As if you prove his point, Ares lunged at Joxer.

Quick as a flash, Joxer had Ares' arm pinned behind his back. "Fast enough for you?"

Ares grinned. "Certainly, however, what did you do with Silar?"

Joxer smirked behind his lover's back. "I put him on the throne behind me. Now, the question is, what am I going to do with you?" He twisted Ares' arm a little further up behind his back.

Ares groaned. He loved it when Joxer played rough, and since this was likely to be their last night together for quite some time, he wanted to make it count. Counting on the fact that Silar would stay put for a while, Ares transported Joxer and himself into their bedchamber.

Dark red velvet, satin, and silk was everywhere, making up most of the decorations in the room. Torches lit up cream-colored walls and candles in candelabras, in the chandelier, or just in single holders were places all over the room.

Taking advantage of Joxer's brief lapse in attention as the Peace God reoriented as to where he was, Ares twisted around, wrapped his arms around his lover, and tumbled them onto the huge bed, landing on top.

Pinning Joxer's arms above his head, the War God looked down at his spouse's startled face.

"They may be faster than before, but they are still not fast enough. I will always have superior reflexes."

Seeing the outrage mixed with amusement in Joxer's eyes, Ares dipped his head for a quick kiss.

However, it didn't stay just a quick kiss. The moment their lips touched, a spark startled them both. With a moan, Joxer wrapped his arms, having freed them from Ares relaxed grip, around Ares body, caressing the muscles through the leather. Ares growled something into Joxer's mouth and both men were naked in the middle of the huge bed.

Joxer moaned again, the feel of skin against skin causing his half-hard member to become fully aroused. He pushed his tongue into Ares mouth, deepening the kiss, a slight sense of desperation creeping back into his manner.

Ares felt Joxer's cock stir and harden under him. With a chuckle, He freed on hand from the Peace God's hair and moved it down his chest, stopping at his nipples for a caress and a pinch, moving down his belly which trembled under the gentle touch, down to the hard member poking him in the thigh.

Feeling the need to breathe, Joxer broke away from Ares mouth and began nipping at his shoulder. Panting slightly at the motion of Ares hand on his cock, Joxer squirmed, trying to create more friction.

Laughing softly, the God of War reprimanded his spouse. "Ah ah ah...we have to make this last, lover. It could be awhile." Ares' anger returned a bit at these last words, and burried his face in Joxer's neck, licking,sucking, and nipping to hide the anger on his face.

"Oh...Ares...you are...so good at...mmmm...that." Joxer was panting so hard that it was tough to get his words out. Ares' hand skilfully massaged his shaft, up and down, applying a bit of pressure in just the right places.

Ares smirked into Joxer's neck...time to start his mouth travels.

The War God started a trail of kisses and tongue swirls down the Peace God's body, stopping at his lover's left nipple. Ares nipped softly, the sucked hard enough to leave a mark. Smirking at Joxer's whimpers and moans, Ares moved to the left nipple and repeated the treatment.

Deciding that he was just too impatient, the God started moving downward once again, giving his love's belly a full tongue bath. Lower and lower Ares moved, loving and thrilling to every movement and sound the love of his life made.

Joxer was straining to move his pelvis against Ares, but the God of War was just too strong. His hips pinned so that he couldn't move them, Joxer could only utter whimpers and moans to show his love just how much he needed him, needed his lips on his shaft.

Ares decided that enough was enough. Faster than a human eye can see, Joxer’s cock was in Ares mouth to its hilt. Joxer jerked with surprise, then stiffened as the other god started playing, moving his tongue around, licking, gently nipping, gently sucking, pushing his mate closer and closer to the edge.

Joxer could feel himself being pushed over the edge, but he didn't want that yet. He wanted to make this last, make this time more special than the rest.

Pushing Ares carefully away, he managed to get his surprisingly gentle lover onto his back.

"It's your turn, now, sexy man. You're gonna cry this time." Joxer smirked at Ares' startled expression, then snapped his fingers. Red velvet restrains zipped onto Ares' wrists and ankles, keeping the God from moving too far.

Ares' eyes were wide, the pupils dilated, his cock hard as a rock. Joxer gazed at the perfect body before him, once again marvelling at how it could possibly belong to him.

Before he could think, Joxer was back at Ares' throat, sucking and nipping, making the god squirm. Blowing gently, the cold air a shock on the now-wet skin, Joxer caused Ares to moan in painful pleasure. He grinned, satisfied, and started his own path down the divine body.

Nipples were suckled and nipped, squeezed and licked until they were little pebbles and Ares' cries were more like growls. Moving further down, Ares' felt Joxer’s tongue all around his belly button, licking and caressing, dipping in and out, hitting the nerves just right, making spasms of pleasure go through Ares' cock.

The organ twitching under his chest was driving Joxer wild...too wild. With a growl, Joxer all but inhaled Ares' balls, rolling them around on his tongue, nibbling as he let them slip out of his mouth. Licking the thick organ in front of his face, Joxer shifted his eyes to the handsome face of the owner of the organ.

The eyes now half-lidded in pleasure, the face beautifully contorted, Ares was nothing but gorgeous to the man that loved him with all his heart.

Turning his attention back to the job at hand, Joxer licked the tip of Ares' shaft, savouring the flavor of his lover. Taking the tip into his mouth, Joxer stopped, teasing his god.

"Damn you, Joxer!" Ares could do little more than swear, since Joxer was using his own strength to keep Ares' from moving his hips.

Joxer grinned around the muscle, then moved his head in a swift downward motion. He almost cried with delight and love when Ares cried out.

"Joxer, oh Joxer! I love you!" Ares had thrown his head back when Joxer had made his move. Pumping his now free hips, Ares set the pace for Joxer's vacuum-like sucking.

"I can't...no...need to..." Ares somehow managed to get across to Joxer that he didn't want to be sucked off, that he wanted to be imbedded in the love of his life.

With a snap of his fingers, Joxer caused the restraints to disappear. The next thing he knew, he was flat on his back, Ares hovering over him.

"You are mine, little one. You always have been, you always will be." With that, Ares thrust a well-wettened finger into Joxer. The lesser God stiffened, then relaxed as Ares found his mouth, kissing him thoroughly while loosening him for entry.

Two fingers, then three, Joxer was going wild, knowing what was to come.

One last kiss, then Ares moved so that he was positioned between Joxer's thighs. This was their favorite position, both of them being able to watch the other's eyes. Leaning down for one last kiss, Ares thrust into Joxer's body, stiffening himself as he felt Joxer stiffen and arch his back.

"I love you, little one," Ares murmured as he thrust in and out of his lover's body, revelling in the friction and the look of pure pleasure on Joxer's face.

"I love you, too, my God," Joxer tried his damnedest to keep his eyes fixed on Ares, but they kept closing in bliss.

Ares wanted Joxer to get just as much pleasure as he was, so he reached between their bodies for his organ.

Joxer gasped at the touch, then strained harder for the contact.

Between the clenching of Joxer's anus and his throaty moans, and Ares' hand on his cock and rubbing his prostate at every thrust, both Joxer and Ares weren't long before they exploded, collapsing into a writhing heap on the large bed.

Slowly, both deities came around. Joxer whimpered when he felt Ares leave him, but the quick reassuring presence of the God's arms calmed him down. Both men quickly fell asleep, exhausted and satiated.

Joxer woke first, noticing that they had managed to get under the covers. He stroked Ares' arm, which was thrown across his stomach and thought about what he had been told.

Zeus wants him to leave Olympus for at least 4 months. Not one single visit? Why? What has that God got up his sleeves besides lightning bolts and women?

Joxer was too sleepy to try and contemplate it any further. He snuggled up to his lover and fell back into a deep sleep, completely unaware that something had happened.

Part 2

The first thing that Joxer did the day Ares left for his assignment was cry. He cried for a good two hours. The second thing that he did was rail against the fact that he wouldn’t be able to even see his spouse for at least 4 months. The third thing he did was pass out.

Strife popped into the temple to see how Joxer was doing, and discovered his step-uncle unconscious.

"Joxer! Oh my… Cupid!" Strife did the only thing that he could think of, and that was to call his own spouse. While waiting for the God of Love to appear, Strife tried to make Joxer comfortable, transporting him to the nearest couch.

"Strife, what is it? Why did you bellow like that? I was in the middle of a love match!" Cupid materialised, complaining at being interrupted at work. Strife merely pointed to the unconscious God on the couch. Cupid rushed to Joxer’s side.

"What happened? I mean, were you arguing and you hit him with a fireball? What?" Cupid was trying to get a feel of the Peace God’s energy, but it wasn’t working. Something was interfering.

"I didn’t do anything! I came here to check up on him, to make sure he was all right with Unc goin’ away and everything, and I found him passed out on the floor! What’s wrong with him, Cupe?" Cupid had backed away, a strange look on his face.

"I think…I think that we need to call uncle Apollo, Strifey. He needs to take a look at Joxer." Strife just stared. Was Joxer so sick, that Apollo needed to be called?

"Apollo? We could use your help in the House of War…Right NOW!" There was a hysterical note to Cupid’s tone, though Strife didn’t know what would cause it. He thought perhaps that Joxer was sick with some kind of bug that affected Olympians or something.

Cupid was, in fact, trying to hold back his laughter. Just wait until Ares heard about this one! Cupid immediately sobered at the thought. Ares wasn’t around. It was going to be up to him and Strife to take care of Joxer.

Apollo materialized in flash of gold light. "This had better be good, Bird Boy. You interrupted my morning routine."

Judging by the state of his dress, or rather, undress, Strife figured he knew exactly what they had interrupted.

Clearing his throat, with a pointed look at Strife, Cupid pointed at Joxer. "I think that you need to take a look at him. Strife found him passed out on the floor, and moved him to the couch there. I think I know what’s wrong with him, but I would like a second opinion, please."

Apollo shot a slightly startled look at the Love God before moving over to look at Joxer. He sent out a tendril of his power, checking Joxer’s energy levels, and found something blocking him. Apollo frowned, concentrating a little more, sending out a little more power. Again, he was blocked.

"What the…" Apollo trailed off as a glimmering of understanding began to appear. He tried a different approach to the energy check and found this one unblocked. He reeled in surprise at what he found.

"He’s…he’s…CUPID!!" Apollo roared at the smirking god, not enjoying being made fun of. "You knew! How did you know?" Apollo was now not only angry, but confused as well.

Strife looked back and forth between the two gods, Apollo angry, Cupid amused.

Something was defiantly going on here; he just had to find out what. He sent out his own tendril of power, instinctively, for some reason unknown to him…yet…probing gently and carefully, instead of a sharp stab that was the normal way. What he saw made him dissolve into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, this is too funny! Unc’s gonna be way pissed that he’s missing this!" Strife was giggling so hard he was on the floor. Cupid just looked at him, smirking more while Apollo stood there gaping.

Joxer opened his eyes. The sight of one giggling God on the floor, one smirking God standing over the giggling one, and one slightly bemused God standing right next to the couch he was on caused Joxer great confusion.

"Hello Apollo, Cupid, Strife. Why are you all here? I mean, is there something that you need?" Joxer was trying to remember if there was a meeting scheduled today that he had forgotten about. He then realized that he was lying down, on a couch, instead of standing next to the throne where he had been the last he remembered.

"What am I doing here? Is something wrong?" Joxer’s heart lurched at the thought of Ares getting injured. He knew that he couldn’t be killed, the Hind’s Blood Dagger had been destroyed by Zeus himself. Ares could, however, be injured, and badly.

Cupid smiled at his stepfather. "No Joxer, nothing’s wrong. Everything is good. Perhaps you should see for yourself. Check your energy." He gestured for Joxer to go carefully, so as not to get blocked, though Joxer didn’t know that was the reason.

Joxer sent out a careful probe at his body. Everything seemed to be okay. Perhaps a little more energy than he should have, but that might be because of extra prayers. He probed a bit deeper. No, nothing seemed to be wrong. There were still three little balls of energy-

WHAT?! Joxer stopped dead. Three balls of energy in his…his…his whatever. He looked up at Cupid, Apollo, and Strife. All three nodded their heads, only one looking rather resigned, the other two looking delighted.

"I’m…I’m pregnant? How could this…I mean, how did…how is this possible?!" Joxer was starting to get slightly hysterical.

Strife snickered. "Well, Jox, it happens when two-" He was cut off by an elbow in the side from Cupid.

"Joxer, male gods can get pregnant. No one knows why, or even how, really, we just know that if two male gods are in a relationship, and there is enough true love there, one or both of them can get pregnant. It looks as though there is enough love between you and Dad for you to become pregnant." Cupid looked with affection at Strife. He had been trying to convince his love that it was time for them to start trying. Bliss needed a little brother or sister, and Cupid needed something of Strife, just in case.

Joxer lay on the couch, slightly stunned. He was going to have a baby? Well, babies, since there seemed to be three balls of energy there. He was going to be a father. He was going to have Ares’ children, and be a father. He smiled softly at that thought, losing himself in the thoughts of children running around the temple.

Apollo cleared his throat. "I have to go get Hera. She must know about this. I also have to…clean up…what I left unfinished this morning." He vanished in another flash of golden light amid the laughter from the three other Gods in the room.

Joxer swung his legs over the edge of the couch and sat up. "Cupid? Strife? How am I going to tell Ares?" Part 3

Apollo popped into Hera’s temple. "Mom? I need to tell you something!"

Hera popped in with a flurry of silver sparkles. "Yes Apollo, what is it?"

"Peace is…Joxer and Ares…there’s gonna be…" Apollo just couldn’t get the words out of his mouth.

"Joxer’s pregnant with Honor, Glory, and Justice. Yes, I know. I allowed it to happen. Its part of the reason Ares was sent to turn that horde. It’s a prophecy." Hera was thoroughly enjoying the look of shock on her son’s face.

"Wha…why…how…when…Mother!" Apollo was stunned.

"Yes dear?" Hera was really enjoying teasing her son.

Apollo took a calming breath. He was being baited and he knew it. "What is the prophecy, mother?"

Hera smiled, slightly sad. "Are you sure you want to know? Once you’re told, by order of the prophecy, you’re bound to help. You won’t be able to get out again."

Apollo grimaced, then sighed. "Well, since I’m the only medically inclined God that knows how to deal with pregnant Gods, I suppose I have to be, don’t I?"

Hera sniffed. "Only one, indeed, Good think you only said God, m’boy. If you had said Olympian, I might have zapped you!" Apollo shrugged. "Just tell me the prophecy before I change my mind!"

Hera cleared her thoat.

Apollo stared at Hera. "Huh?"

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Joxer sat alone in his room. His thoughts were in two places, or four, depending on how you looked at it.

One part of his thoughts was with Ares, trying to feel him through their link. The link had sustained them through many a hard separation, though none were as difficult as this one. It had been formed the moment Ares had admitted he loved Joxer.

No luck, though. Apparently Zeaus had managed to block that link, too. Joxer sighed, left a "mental message", as Strife called them, of encouragement. He then focused entirely on the three beings inside his body.

He could sense each individual life force, each tiny separate being. He knew that they were all girls and that they were all identical. What he didn’t know was how he knew all of that information.

He was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice the sudden appearance of Bliss, in a flurry of multicolored confetti. Bliss had to bounce on the bed several times before Joxer looked up.

"Whatcha thinkin’, Gwanpa Joser?" Bliss hovered in the air a little longer with each jump until he was floating completely.

"I’m thinking of babies, Bliss, your aunts to be exact." Joxer plucked the little Godling out of the air, cuddling him close.

"Aunt Zena?" Even though it was said, not written, Bliss still managed to spell the name wrong.

"No, not Aunt Xena, munchin, your aunts Ry, Haedre, and Reta." Now where did *those* come from, Joxer wondered. He didn’t know babies could name themselves!

Bliss nodded knowingly. "Ry, Hae, and Ret are in tummy. Be here soon." Bliss was suddenly fascinated with one of his feathers, the way babies can be, completely oblivious to the look on Joxer’s face..

Part 4

Joxer stared at his step grandson. How did he know? How was this possible? Be here soon? He had just found out he was pregnant. He had at least 7 more months left before the girls would be born.

"Bliss, honey, what do you mean?" Joxer captured the toddler’s attention by taking away the feather.

"Aunties tell me. Come soon. Gotta go! Daddies come!" Bliss zipped out just before Strife and Cupid zapped in.

"Where is he? He was just here!" Cupid zapped away again before Joxer could open his mouth. Strife watched the space where his mate had been as it slowly lost the fluttering hearts.

"We’ve been looking for him for the better part of an hour. He keeps zapping all over the place. We traced him to you, and followed, hoping that he would stick around." Strife made a face. "Apparently he didn’t."

Joxer laughed. "He knew you were coming. He told me that his daddies were coming and zapped out." Joxer fell silent, remembering the other things that Bliss had said.

Strife noticed the look on Joxer’s face. "Jox, wha’sup? Why are you so upset?"

Joxer sighed and dragged his attention back to what he was doing. "It’s just something that Bliss said. He said that his aunties told him that they were going to come soon."

Strife looked at Joxer with something akin to amused panic on his face. "What are you going to do about Ares?!"

Strife had to rush forward to keep Joxer from falling off the bed when he fainted.

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Just at that moment, the God in question was having a terrible time trying to control his temper. In the days before Joxer, he wouldn’t have bothered, he would have just killed the damn man, and been done with it. However, his association with peace had taught him that killing people wasn’t always an option, just as Joxer’s association with War had taught him that sometimes killing is the only option.

"Why won’t you listen to me and TURN AROUND AND GO HOME?!" Ares tried to keep his voice down, but failed miserably. "There is nothing for you in Greece, except a group of very angry, very powerful gods. Take my word for it. You do NOT want to be on the bad side of Zeus or m-Ares."

This pretending to be someone else was really starting to get on his nerves. He had to be very careful about what he said, since it could be misinterpreted, and used against him, as well as reveal his true identity.

The man stared at Ares as if he were an idiot. "Duh. For th’ glory an’ th’ honor an’ all tha’ sheeit." The man turned away before thinking of something and turning back around. "Our gods ga’ os this dagger thingy here," he twirled a very familiar dagger in his fingers, "tol’ os tha’ any Greasy god try to ‘pose os, we gut ‘em wi’ this, an’ they go poof!" The vile man chuckled delightedly at the look on Ares face.

"Yeeup! Yo’ gods," and he said the word mockingly, "is gonna die! Heehee!" He got no further in his laughter because Ares had him by his throat, pinned to the nearest solid wall.

"I don’t think that’s a very good idea, now do you?" Ares’ voice was deathly quiet, at a level that everyone in Greece knew to turn and run in the opposite direction from. "We wouldn’t want to waste this pretty little dagger, though, so I’ll just take it," Ares pulled, VERY carefully, the dagger for the man’s now limp hand, "and use it on them, one by one, until YOUR Gods are all wiped out."

Ares released the dead man’s throat. "Oh, I knew you would approve!" he said in a mock delighted voice. "Idiot."

"Zeus! Zeus, you need to get down here! I don’t know what you were expecting, but if this isn’t it, then we’re in big trouble!" Ares waited for his father to come, cloaking himself from mortal vision. It was a new trick that he had learned from Joxer who had accidentally done it when he was trying to shield himself from Xena and Gabrielle, with Ares looking on.

Ares smiled, remembering his mate. He missed Joxer dreadfully, but this had to be done, or Zeus would…Ares let that line of thinking die. He didn’t want to think about what Zeus would do.

Zeus zapped in suddenly, startling Ares a little, since he did it without his normal flair and flash of lightening.

"Zeus, was this what you had in mind when you sent me down here? To get this dagger away from the horde?" Ares was not angry any more. He was more sad, sad and disappointed, than anything else. He hadn’t really thought that his father would want him dead, not like this.

Zeus sighed. "No, Ares, I didn’t have this in mind. I didn’t know that they had the Dagger, or even how they got it. Now I’m pissed off, because those damned Roman gods, the ones that don’t even say anything to their people, normally, did this. They found the Dagger and gave it to the most despicable man they could find. He’s the man that you just killed."

Ares looked almost shocked. His father hadn’t known about this. Zeus, the King of the Gods, had *not* known about the dagger. Ares suddenly felt sick.

Just at that moment, Strife popped in. He saw Zeus and paled slightly more, giving him a very ghostly appearance. "Zeus, sir. I have a message from Joxer…" he trailed off, knowing that he shouldn’t have mentioned it in front of Ares, if Zeus was going to block the message. But Strife had planned to get the message to Ares, no matter what, so he supposed that it didn’t make much of a difference.

Zeus sighed, and nodded. "Things aren’t going as expected. You may tell him Strife." With that, the King of the Gods, very sad, and with Dagger in hand, having taken it from Ares, zapped out, back to Olympus, where he could mull things over in peace.

"What is it, Strife? Is Joxer all right? Is he sick? Did something happen to him? The temple? Did my brother find a way up there? Does Joxer need me to kill someone? Don’t just stand there, Strife, answer me!" Strife was staring bemusedly at Ares.

Amazing how fast a god could jump to conclusions, Strife thought idly. He blanched to the purest white when Ares took a step forward, and put his hands up defensively. "I’ll tell ya, I’ll tell ya! Joxer needs ya t’ come home, if ya can. There’s been…he’s… he’spregnantwithtripletsandyouneedtogethome." Strife got it all out in a rush hoping that he wouldn’t have to say it again.

No such luck though. The look of confusion on Ares face was enough to let Strife know that he had to say it again.

Strife took a deep breath. "Jox’s pregnant, Ares. He’s gonna have triplets. Ya need to get home, back t’ Olympus."

Strife leapt forward, catching Ares before he hit the ground. he thought.

Part 5

"What do you mean, he passed out?!" Joxer was more than a little peeved when Cupid came and told him about Ares’ reaction. Cupid had kept his attention centered on Strife, since Joxer couldn’t focus on Ares, and had informed Joxer how the War god had reacted.

Cupid looked at Joxer, trying to hide his amusement. "Just that. Strife just caught him. I think you surprised him, Jox, not that it was so difficult. I don’t think any of us, you included, were expecting the triplets to show up. I know that I wasn’t and I have had my eye on your relationship with Ares since I noticed that you loved him."

Joxer blushed. He hadn’t realized that his love had attracted that attention of the God of Love. He had thought that Aphrodite was the only one that knew how he felt. Oh well, didn’t matter now. He was married to Ares, and he was going to have his child…children…

That thought was still mind-boggling. It amazed Joxer that he, a male, albeit a divine one, was going to have children. It just went against his thought pattern. Come to think of it, it went against his anatomy.

"Cupid? How… I mean, when…" Joxer stopped, trying to phrase his question correctly. It wasn’t easy, since he wasn’t sure, completely, what he wanted to ask. "How is it possible for me, a male of the species, or as close to the species as gods get, " he paused for to make a wry face, "to have children? I mean, I’m not exactly built for it. I don’t have the…the…"

"The plumbing?" Cupid supplied, a serious yet amused look on his face.

Joxer nodded, relief showing on his face, relief that Cupid knew what he was getting at. He wanted to understand as much as he could before Ares came storming up here, as he was sure to do. He didn’t know how much Ares knew, and wanted to be able to explain it if he had to.

"It has something to do with the fact that human form isn’t our natural form, that we only take it to make it easy…" Cupid trailed off, seeing the very confused look on Joxer’s face. Cupid sighed, made a decision, and opened his mouth again.

"Come on, Joxer, I’m going to take you to someone who can tell you how it works first hand." With that, Cupid put his arm around the Peace God’s shoulders, and zapped them out in a flurry of little hearts.

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"Hermes? Are you here? We need to talk with you!" Cupid called out immediately upon entering Hermes’ temple. He knew that Hermes had once borne a child, didn’t know the details, didn’t really *want* to know the details, but knew that for Joxer’s sake, he, Cupid, would have to learn them.

A flash of white light, and Hermes was in the room. "Hiya Cupid, Joxer. What can I do for you?" Hermes lounged on a nearby couch, taking any break that he could from his job as Divine Messenger.

"I know that you had a child, Hermes, that you bore her. Now I just need you to explain that to Joxer here." Cupid ignored the look Hermes shot him, and pushed Joxer forward.

Joxer shot Cupid a Look, with a capital L. He hated being put into situations like this, knowing that other Gods didn’t always like to talk about their past, and yet rather curious how Hermes, a male, just like Joxer himself, had managed to bear a child.

"Please, Hermes. I’m…I’m going to have a child myself. Three of them, actually, and I’m confused as to how it’s possible. Cupid said that you could help, but if you don’t want to…" Joxer trailed off, fully prepared to zip back to the Hall of War so that he didn’t bother Hermes too much.

Hermes sighed. He didn’t like to talk about the child that he had had. Not that he didn’t love the little rugrat, just that it was painful to, since Pereana was gone, and could never be brought back. "No, Joxer, it’s all right. Since you’re gonna go through the same thing, just threefold," and Hermes shot him a wicked grin, "I can share my experience with you. What do you want to know?"

Joxer swallowed. "Well, I know how it happened…sorta." Joxer blushed, but Hermes gestured for him to continue. "I know that it’s because to the love between Ares and I, and because of…how we…show…that love, but what I don’t understand is how I could become pregnant. I’m a man, for crying out loud. How is it possible for me to bear even one child, let alone three? I am just not built for it!" Joxer stopped, aware that Cupid was watching him, trying not to laugh.

"You, out. Go help Strife with Ares. Yes, I know that Strife is with Ares, I know all kinds of things like that. Go!" Hermes ordered Cupid out of the room, and off Olympus, aware that the Love God was making Joxer nervous, and not very happy about it. He sensed something unusual about Joxer’s pregnancy, and hoped that he would be able to figure out what it was without any outside influence.

"Yeah, ok. Joxer, are you gonna be ok? I really should go help Strife." Cupid wasn’t all that upset at being ordered out of the room. He still wasn’t sure that he wanted to know details of Hermes’ experience.

"Yeah, I’ll be all right. You go help Strife wake up Ares. He’s gonna need all the help that he can get." Even with their connection blocked, Joxer could still feel a little of Ares emotions, and could tell that the War God was going to wake a little peeved.

Cupid nodded, then flashed out. Joxer turned back to Hermes. "Ok, spill it. How in Tartarus is this possible?"

Hermes gestured for Joxer to take a seat on a sofa next to Hermes’ own couch. Joxer did, settling himself so that he was comfortable. His stomach was a little ungainly to sit down comforta-

WHAT?!?! His STOMACH?! UNGAINLY?! Hermes had to use his lightning speed to make sure that Joxer didn’t fall off the sofa he was seated on. Gently placing the unconscious Joxer onto the seat, Hermes was a little confused as to why Joxer passed out. Was it common for 5 month pregnant men to faint?

"Apollo? Do you think that you could come here? I need to you to check on Joxer. I don’t know why, but he just passed out." Hermes called out to the Sun God, sitting back on his couch and waiting.

"Hermes, what is it? Why is-" Apollo popped in at such an angle that he caught sight of an unconscious, obviously pregnant Joxer. "How…when…why…oh for the love of…" Apollo rushed over to Joxer’s side, placing a gentle hand on the swell of belly that hadn’t been there that morning. "He’s five months pregnant. How did that happen?"

Hermes looked confused. "He got pregnant five months ago. What do you mean, how did it happen?"

Apollo shook his head. "I saw Joxer 3 hours ago. There is no way that he was 5 months pregnant then. I would have laid bet that he was only a couple weeks pregnant then. Now, I’m not so sure." Apollo thought of the prophecy. The triplets had to be born while Ares was away. It appeared, rather obviously so, that Ares would be back on Olympus by the end of the day. That meant that they only had a couple hours to prepare Joxer to be a dad, because the triplets were coming, and there was no way that they were going to be stopped now.

Part 6

Ares came around only to see his son and his nephew standing over him, slightly worried looks on their faces. He groaned, remembering why he had passed out. "Why are you two just standing there. You should be helping me up!"

The two held out their hands, which Ares grasped and pulled himself to standing. He shook his head to clear it, then glared at Strife.

"What do you mean, Joxer’s pregnant, Strife? And you had better have a good explanation if this is some kind of sick joke." Ares stared at his nephew, arms crossed, waiting for a good explanation.

The God of Mischief sighed. "You know how people get pregnant, right, Unc?" Strife smirked at Ares growl. "Well, you an’ Jox did the nasty enough that Jox’s preggers. You’s gonna be a dad again."

Cupid had a tough time keeping a straight face. His dad looked so confused, so angry, and so…could that be happiness? Yes, it was. Ares was happy that Joxer was going to have his children.

"Dad? Do you think that you should tell mom, or should Joxer? She’s, like, so gonna want to know, and I shouldn’t be the one to tell her that she’s gonna be an aunt. She will, like, so wanna spoil these girls."

"Girls? They’re triplet girls?!" Ares’ look was one of stunned happiness. All traces of anger and confusion disappeared. He was going to be the father of triplet girls. His girls, Joxer’s girls. Sometimes, life was grand.

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Apollo shook Joxer awake. "Joxer! Come on Joxer, we have to get you ready for this and we need you awake to do that! " Joxer groaned and batted at Apollo’s hand.

"I’m up, I’m up." Joxer’s hand landed on his stomach. "Apollo? What’s going on? How can I be this pregnant?" Joxer looked at the Sun God, a little frantically, hoping for some kind of logical explanation to what was going on with his body. Not that having children was logical, by any means, but just the same, he had counted on have a normal 9 month pregnancy.

"I don’t know, Joxer, but I think it has something to do with a certain prophesy, and why Ares is in Greece right now, instead of here on Olympus with you. Let me just call Hera."

Apollo called to his mother, hoping that she excused the rather abrupt summons, considering what was going on.

At the mention of a prophesy, Hermes and Joxer had both gone white, but for very different reasons. Joxer just looked sick, and clutched at his stomach.

"Ry, Hae, and Reta are part of a prophecy? Oh, this is very not good." Joxer looked concerned, but determined to protect his children somehow.

Hermes, on the other hand, clutched his head, and started groaning, rather loudly.

"Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. I *knew* when I had that prophesy pop out of my mouth that it was going to cause me a hell of a lot of trouble! I just didn’t expect it to be now! Glory and Honor and Justice…Joxer…Ares…why, oh, why!!" Hermes had always had a flair for the dramatic, and it was now showing in the worst way possible, just when Joxer needed whatever help he could get.

"When did you ever have a prophecy, Sandal Boy? I don’t remember ever hearing about you giving a prophecy!" Apollo looked slightly amused at the thought. Maybe that’s why Hermes had Pereana, so that he could coach Joxer from experience.

"Around the same time I got pregnant with…with my daughter. Hera was confused as to why, but she wrote it down, and said that she would look into it. Now, 300 years later, the silly thing is finally coming into effect. Amazing how that happens..." Hermes trailed off, remembering back.

Joxer cleared his throat. "Um, fellas? Pregnant and rather frightened God here, do you think that you could help me out?"

Hera flashed in, looking rather resigned. "Oh, goody, the whole gang is here. Well, not quite, but enough for the purposes." She turned to Joxer. "Hello, dear, I imagine that you’re a might more than confused right now, aren’t you?"

Joxer just nodded. The whole gang? What on earth could that possibly mean?

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Zeus paced around his study, worried, truly worried, for the first time in many, many years. Firstly all this business with the prophecy which, Hera had tricked him into hearing, therefore tricking him into helping. Second, the rather convenient Roman horde sent to destroy Greece. Now, that Hind’s Blood Dagger was back.

That was the most confusing part of all of this. How was it possible for this dagger, one that he had thrown into the Void himself, where it was *supposed* to have been destroyed, be back. Which was in the hands of the Romans, no less. This just wasn’t good, wasn’t good at all.

Then he heard a strange sound. The sound of…Ares…calling him, calling his name. Why in Tartarus would he be doing that? Had he found out about the triplets? Well, that part was okay, since he had figured that Strife and Cupid, at the request of Joxer, would help somehow.

Zeus sighed. Well, he supposed it was time to go face Ares’ wrath. It was the least that he could do for the poor boy. He may not get along with him very well, even though he did love him, but no man should have to be absent for the birth of his children.

A flash of gold light and a zap of lightning, and Zeus stood in front of Ares, looking resigned, sad, but rather determined.

"Before you say anything, Ares, I want you to know that I had nothing to do with the dagger. I told you that before, but I want to make sure that you remember. I also didn’t plan the timing of the Romans; they just sort of happened. However," and here, Zeus sighed and looked slightly ashamed, "I did know about the triplets. That’s why I sent you down here."

Whatever Ares had been about to say was diffused by Zeus’ confession. "You…you knew about the triplets, and you still sent me down here? Why, what could have possibly been so important as to send me down here, away from my husband and my children? I know that you don’t like me, Father, that much I have known for centuries, but do you actually hate me so much as to send me all the way down here so that I don’t get to see the birth of my children? Is that it?"

Zeus looked hurt, but determine to explain everything. "No, Ares, I don’t hate you. I love you quite a lot, actually, but I’ve never known how to show it. I sent you down here to fulfill part of a prophecy that your daughters are a part of. I don’t think that men should be away from the birth of their children. Unfortunately, this time, you don’t have a choice. You are not allowed to be there for their birth." Zeus cocked his head, as though listening to something. "However, I guarantee that you will be back on Olympus before the day is out. Hera has just informed me that Joxer is 6 months pregnant, and will likely deliver in 2 hours."

Strife was really getting tired of catching unconscious gods.

Part 7

Hera smiled slightly. "Only that everyone that this prophecy involves is here, with the obvious exception of Ares, but that’s as it should be."

"Hera, what _is_ this prophesy that everyone has said something about? Why are my girls involved?" Joxer asked, placing a protective hand on his visibly growing stomach. "I don’t want anything to hurt them. They are innocent after all…aren’t they?" Joxer had a sudden thought that they hadn’t wanted Ares around so that they could kill the triplets without interference.

Hera nodded. "Yes, they are innocent, but…Okay, I suppose that you need to know, since it involves you as well." Apollo looked sharply at his mother, but said nothing.

Hera once again recited the prophecy, knowing that once she did, things were going to go to Tartarus in a hand basket. She was right.

"Excuse me? 5 for all, Saviors and helpers? Angry one? Sad one? What in Tartarus is all of this about? I mean there a whole lot that I don’t understand about Olympus and prophecies, but please tell me that things like this aren’t normal. If they are, I am _not_ responsible for what could possibly happen here. I mean for the love of little green apples, how am I supposed to react to news like this? I find out that not only are my three daughters, who aren’t even born yet, are going to somehow save Olympus, since I’m assuming that is what it means by Olympus shall heal. But I find out that in order for this to work, I have to be separated from my husband, whose children these three also are? Somehow, I don’t think that’s very fair, now do you?"

Joxer sat there, panting a little from his exertions, while all the others stared at him, surprised by his outburst, as well as his appearance. Hera was the first to open her mouth and speak.

"Well, it appears that we just discovered who the angry one is, don’t you agree, boys? Hera was slightly bemused by all that had just happened; not entirely sure that she was looking at her son-in-law, but someone who had taken his place.

"Erm, yeah…I think that we did…I also think I know how those children are growing so fast. They’re feeding off of Joxer’s emotions. Look." Apollo gestured towards Joxer’s stomach, which was now so large he looked as if he would explode if he so much as breathed wrong.

Hermes spoke up. "Um, forgive me for being the voice of reason here, but, like, he’s got half an hour, if things keep going the way that they are, before he gives birth to those girls, and I’m almost certain that he has very little practice with his natural form. If he’s going to save himself a lot of pain, I suggest that we teach him, and we teach him quickly."

Hermes was right. At the mention of his natural form, Joxer blanched. "I…I have only been in that form once…and that was with Ares around…not that I don’t trust you three, but I had a lot of trouble controlling my energy…" Joxer trailed off, looking into three sets of now amused eyes.

Hera laid her hand on Joxer’s head. "I’m going to give you a bit of knowledge, so that you can control yourself. The only thing that we can tell you, verbally, is that you need to think about what you want to do. The rest should be instinct." But Hera didn’t want to think of that at the moment. She was concentrating on giving Joxer as much knowledge as she could.

The Queen of the Gods opened her eyes. "Now, act like you are going to transport…but don’t. Your body should know what to do." Hera demonstrated, reverting to her natural form, a lovely blend of gold and silver swirls.

Joxer stared. "That’s her energy, Jox. Here’s mine." Apollo took his natural form, a slightly more organized pattern of yellow and blue.

Joxer blinked. There was something entrancing about seeing these two in their natural form. He turned to Hermes…but Hermes wasn’t there. Instead, there was a large, green, shapeless light, with gold polka dots.

Polka dots? Joxer shook his head, deciding that he didn’t want to know. He took one last look at the three swirling gods, and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he was aware that he could feel so much more of his followers. He blocked them out, needing to concentrate on just one thing right now, and that was saving his daughters.

Hera, Apollo, and Hermes all reverted to their human form, starting at the energy that was Joxer. "Sweet Sunshine, he is gorgeous," Apollo whispered. Hermes nodded in mute amazement, and Hera just watched.

Joxer was so many different colors that it was difficult to separate them all. He was predominately silver, unusual for a God not in line for the throne…ah, but he was, wasn’t he? He was married to Ares, heir to the throne, and therefore, in line for the throne himself. He had swirls of pink, signs of his favor with Aphrodite and Cupid, black as signs of his association with War, red as a mark of his friendship with Demeter, who, for no reason anyone could figure out, was a solid red color in her natural form. He had swirls of green, blue, yellow, and orange mixed in, purple around the edges…oh he was a blending of every color that a God could ever be.

Centered in his energy, nestled deep inside, but still visible, were three rapidly growing balls of golden energy. Pure golden energy. The triplets Joxer was about to have weren’t your normal Godlings. They seemed to be a bit more.

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"C’mon, Unc, ya gotta wake up! Joxer needs you!" That did the trick. Ares was on his feet faster than Strife had ever through possible.

"Okay, so I don’t get to be there for the birth of my daughters. Do I at least get to be there for their childhood?" Ares hadn’t meant to sound so bitter, but he was just so depressed about missing this that he couldn’t help it.

"Yes, as far as I know, you will be there to help raise your daughters. Now, we have to figure out what to do with you until such time as you can return to Olympus." Zeus took one look at Ares face, and decided. "Hold on to your leathers. We’re going traveling."

Xena looked up in surprise when four Gods flashed into the camp she had just made with Gabrielle. Her father, his father, her brother and her…well, she knew that Strife was related to her, she had just never stopped to try and figure it out. She rather thought he was her cousin, but you never knew with Gods.

"Zeus, Ares, Cupid, Strife, how can I help you?" She had immediately sensed that something was wrong with Ares. "Father? What’s wrong?" She rarely called Ares Father, but in this case, she felt that it was important.

"There isn’t anything wrong, Xena. Nothing at all." Even Gabby could tell that was a lie, and she usually tried to ignore Ares when he came for a visit.

Xena crossed her arms. "Try again. Is it something to do with Joxer?" Xena suddenly got a terrible feeling. "Is he ok? Does he need help? Do you need help?" Xena went into overprotective friend mode.

Ares smirked. "Yes, it has something to do with Joxer, but not in a way that you might think. Xena, you’re going to be a big sister. Joxer is pregnant."

Strife was really glad that it was Gabrielle that did the catching this time.