Part 6
A week later, Spike leaned back against the smooth-tiled wall and felt a
purr of pleasure start at the base of his spine and move up and through his
body to emerge from his panting mouth. Warmth surrounded and embraced him,
made him feel alive with its welcome sensation. The water cascading from the
showerhead pulsed forward, hitting him square in the chest with a vigorous
rhythmic massage. The air of the small bathroom was thick with steam,
wafting about as it rose from water heated well above human body temperature
and condensed on his cooler skin. Xander knelt in front of him, wrapping
Spike's cock in the moist heat of his mouth. Occasionally he paused to
breathe out along the rigid shaft. Looking down at the dark tendrils of hair
plastered forward across Xander's face by the force of the water, Spike was
hit by a deep need to freeze this moment. He desperately wanted to hold onto
this feeling, this man. But perfection never lasted. That was the one hard
lesson of his unlife. No one stayed on top for long; something, something
would fuck this up. Spike fought the desire to thrust his hips and pump into
the warm, wet throat of his lover. He tried to hold off his orgasm, always
fearing that this one would be the last. Fearing that the boy would walk
away from whatever spell had made him seek a demon lover. *Not even the
first there.* Spike had been relieved that first night they were together
that Xander hadn't been a virgin. Xander had confessed very little, blushing
beautifully when Spike asked about the wealth of experience that the young
man was endowed with by months of experimentation with Anya. *Although
apparently the bint got custody of the toys.* Spike knew that there had been
toys by the delicious flush which stole down the boy's body when he
mentioned a few items which nice young men would not know to equate with
sex. *Bad idea that. Thinking of the boy's flushed body and sex toys when
you're trying not to come. You know that, right?* Spike felt his third
orgasm of the night rush through his body, bringing forth fangs and ridges
as his beautiful boy milked his softening cock. Xander stood slowly, his
body brushing up against Spike's from knee to shoulder. Spike felt the boy's
erection brush his hip. His lips barely touched against Spike's before he
started to pull back. Spike grabbed Xander's hair, stopping him, and
plundered his mouth, tasting his own flavor and stealing his breath. Xander
laughed and playfully nipped at Spike's lips.
"Think the Watchers are gone for good?" Spike asked more to play with the
boy than out of real concern.
"You so had better not be thinking about the Watchers when I'm going down on
you." Xander seemed to have trouble suppressing his grin as he attempted to
scowl.
"Xander?" Spike purred. "You know its only you, she meant nothing..." he
broke off with a wicked chuckle at the real emotion that gleamed in his
lover's eyes.
"You better not be talking about that tweed-clad head of the William the
Bloody fan club, you... you undead Lothario."
Spike pulled that warm body closer and whispered in his ear. "Getting a bit
possessive, love?"
Xander placed both hands on Spike's chest and pushed back enough to look him
in the eyes. The boy nervously chewed on his lower lip and said. "Who said I
can't be the possessive one once in a while? Unless...you... we never..." He
looked down as if to avoid Spike's gaze. Spike regretted the teasing. He
didn't want Xander to think about what was between them - whatever it was -
too hard. If the boy examined it he would realize what a bad idea it was,
and Spike would be left knowing just how much he was missing. Those deep
brown eyes lifted. Drops of water clung to the long lashes and looked almost
like tears. Spike brushed a thick, wet lock of hair off Xander's face and
tried to sooth the boy, who suddenly looked so lost. "Are y..you..." he
started again and Spike almost cursed out loud at the stutter, which rarely
showed in Xander's voice. Xander reached up and caressed Spike's jaw line.
"This is good, huh?" He whispered.
"Oh pet, this is wondrous." Spike was afraid to speak too loudly for fear of
shattering the fragile confidence that seemed to surround the boy. They had
been lovers for such a short time and Spike still anticipated a torrent of
emotions and then the boy would bolt.
"I need this. I need you. I want to hold on.... tight...for as long as
possible...okay?" Xander's voice remained steady and calm. Once again Spike
was amazed by the boy's strength and courage. From the beginning he had
taken all the risks, starting that first night when he had first kissed
Spike and then asked him not to go. What had that cost him? The boy had to
have feared rejection, but had dared Spike's scorn and sarcasm. Time and
again Xander had taken the first step, then and now. What was he offering?
Not permanence, but…? Wasn't it time Spike risked something? Gave the boy
some chance to reject rather than be rejected?
Spike spun around, reversing their positions. Using both hands he pressed
Xander's shoulders back against the wall and slowly dragged his teeth
against his neck and down his collarbone. "Do you have any idea how much I
want? How much I want you? What I want?" Spike morphed into his game face
and spragged his fangs along the boy's trapezius muscle.
"Tell me." Xander gasped, clutching at Spike's hips.
Spike answered with a deep purr and managed to rasp out, "Pet, oh sweet boy,
I want..." He stopped and buried his face against the boy's wet neck, his
scent faint beneath the vanilla shower gel. "If not for this damned chip."
His purr transformed into a growl, but he held the boy gently, rubbing
against his hard, naked form. *I've been loveless all my life, but now that
love is mine it drives me mad [1]*
"W..would you feed? Off of me, I mean?" Xander's voice sounded concerned but
he wrapped strong arms around the rumbling vampire.
Spike shifted back to his human face and looked into Xander's startled eyes.
"No." He laughed at Xander's look of surprise and nuzzled over his jugular.
"Here is where you feed; fast, hot blood pumps out like new wine." He
nibbled his way down the thick muscles above the boy's collarbone. "Here's
where you mark, deep in the flesh, a scar to warn off all the pug nasties
that this here," and he raised his head until their lips were but a whisper
apart, "is mine!" He growled out the last part, and plundered the boy's
mouth. Spike morphed into the kiss. Cutting both their tongues on his fangs,
he endured a blast from the chip as he blended their blood.
When the kiss gentled, due to the boy's need to breath. Xander's eyes were
laughing when he asked, "I'm yours?"
"Does that bother you?" Spike hadn't intended to say as much as he had. He
didn't want to scare the boy or ruin what they had. Once he had said it, he
thought he would brush it off with his usual bravado, but suddenly what
Xander thought about this was very important. Important that Xander realize
that this…thing, whatever it was, wasn't the same as if they were two
humans.
"I think what bothers me is that I think I should be bothered or afraid, and
I'm not." Xander blushed and looked sheepish. He whispered, "Spike, no one
ever... It's just nice that you want me."
"Xan." It was Spike's voice that broke at the sound of past pain in his
lover's tone.
"No. You're here, that's what matters. I'm yours." He blushed again and
looked down, then glanced shyly up through his lashes and ventured, "You're
mine too, you know?"
Spike answer was a deep, full-bodied purr as he began to rub against his
still aroused lover. *And on that cheek, and o'er that brow so soft, so
calm, yet eloquent, the smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of
days in goodness spent A mind at peace with all below a heart whose love is
innocent [2]
******
Later, morning light glowed behind the thick tarp that covered the bedroom
window. Xander had installed decorative shutters in the public rooms, but
had yet to choose a more permanent cover for the bedroom. Spike scowled at
the light, and was tempted to grumble at the early hour. He was getting used
to waking up early with Xander. Usually Xander rose before Spike had slipped
into the deep, death-like slumber he spent at least four hours in every day.
If it got him a kiss or a blowjob he wasn't opposed to greeting his freshly
showered lover with a hot cup of coffee. But this was Saturday and they had
hunted into the wee hours before coming back to clean up, so he was less
than pleased to be wide awake. Xander's deep breaths brushed warmly across
Spike's face. He took a moment to examine his lover's appearance. Even
lacking his happy smile, looking at Xander made Spike think of sunlight, and
all the warm forbidden things he had lost when he was turned. It wasn't just
his smooth, tanned skin; his smell, the very taste of his sweat and come was
bright and vibrated with life. Spike longed to taste his blood, but couldn't
bear the thought of polluting such an intimate act with a blade. A mate
should be claimed, and the scar should be his, not that of a tool. Granted,
it would have to wait until he found a way to bugger the chip, but some day
that sweet flesh would be his.
They had come across two fledges when hunting earlier; so new you could
smell the shit of their first death. Xander had dusted the first almost
reflexively. Spike had ripped the head off the second with his bare hands
when it went for Xander. It had happened so quickly that Xander had stood
blinking in the settling dust before either of them realized that the battle
was over. Since they had crossed paths with the fledges outside the Bronze,
Spike kept a wary eye out during the rest of the night, to see if Harmony
was back in town. Not that he had anything to fear from the dozy cow, but
she had tried to hurt Xander before and Spike knew from experience that,
though inept, she could hold a grudge. Oddly enough, the minions seemed to
have a soft spot for her, maybe cause the boy and the witch had been tykes
with her. Even the Slayer hadn't dusted her, and she could have a couple of
times. Spike snorted softly, so as not to wake the boy; funny he was
considering not dusting a vamp ‘cause the humans might not like it. Xander
sighed and rolled forward, throwing an arm over Spike and pulling him close
into his body heat. *Ah, that's better.* Spike didn't snuggle because
vampires don't snuggle, but he did melt into his lover's body and begin to
purr. *A heart as soft, a heart as kind, a heart as sound and free, as in
the whole world thous canst find, that heart I'll give to thee [3]* Spike
could almost feel Xander's pulse move through his body as they lay pressed
together. It felt like Xander understood, or at least understood as much as
Spike did flying blind like they were. Being with the boy was a bit of an
emotional roller coaster. Just when Spike would convince himself that Xander
was deluded and seeing what he wanted to see, not what Spike really was, he
would do something or say something proved that he knew. Knew that Spike
wasn't human, was evil and that this, whatever this was, was dangerous,
possibly to both of them. Yet he was still willing to love Spike. *Love?*
From the first, the emotions between them had been deeper than he had
anticipated. Maybe that was his fault. Xander always seemed to give as much
as Spike would take, and of course being Spike, he took everything and still
the boy found ways to offer more. Spike sighed as Xander's warmth permeated
his body. As they lay together this all seemed irrelevant; it was too late
for him, he had already fallen hard. Xander's quiet strength and steadfast
loyalty, his tender seductions, seemed to answer long unspoken prayers. But
was it too late for Xander? Could he find a way to free the boy before this
bonding, this potential spiral into damnation became irreversible? Would
this boy with his teasing laugh and ‘rule number two, never use the word
necrophilia when we're in bed' want this to stop before it was too late?
Maybe it was too late already. Spike didn't think if Xander cast him out
this minute that he could fight the bond, which was so much, more than lust
or possessiveness. He didn't think he could let the boy go, even if it was
what Xander wanted. He knew little about such pairings. Humans had always
just been food. He stroked the boy's thick hair as he contemplated how
dangerous the bond could be. "I'll never hurt you." He whispered. "I'll
never let anything hurt you." But he wasn't reassured and lay unquiet and
fretting as he considered that he might be the biggest danger in Xander's
life.
part six
1. Hsu Tsai-Seu ‘on love’
2. George Noel Gordon ‘She walks in beauty’
3. Robert Herrick ‘To Althea Who May Command Him Anything’
Part 7
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