Part 20
Author’s Notes:
Hey!
It’s been a long strange trip. Guess I pretty much suck at PWP.
I stumbled on to fan fiction a couple of months ago; I really liked the idea
of the audience being pulled into the creative process.
Instead of passively waiting to be entertained, some very talented people
are using this medium as a sounding board for their ideas.
Funny how all these stories start with disclaimers and apologies, I can’t
imagine a greater compliment to the creators, cast and distributors of a
show than having people devote so much active thought and analysis to what
they have produced.
Anyhoo.
I found out that after watching the show for five years I had some opinions
I wanted to express. (I was surprised by how many.)
I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for listening. You have all
been so supportive. These lists really are B. F. Skinner’s wet dream. I’ve
saved all your feedback even though I didn’t answer most of it. [I did try
but I always ended up sounding like “You like me? You really like me?” or
some such stammering response.]
Of course now you’ve created a monster and you’ll never be rid of me.
(Snerk)
~~~~~~~~~
Unsurprisingly after stumbling into the apartment in the gray light of
morning Xander slept through Saturday. Surprisingly, he woke alone. Groggy
from too much sleep he looked around his empty bedroom and wondered where
Spike had gone. He had vague memories of struggling to consciousness several
times in the past twenty four hours, and there had always been a slim hard
body wrapped around him. Naked he walked over to the window and peeked
around the black out curtain to see if it was daylight. Blinded from the
white glare he quickly let go of the window covering and groped about for
something to wear.
July was opening with sweltering heat. Even with the AC cranked it was going
to be hot. Xander wore only a pair of thin cutoff sweat pants as he padded
from the bedroom in search of his absent lover. Xander leaned against the
frame of the doorway to the kitchen, watching as a barefoot Spike gulped
down a mug of blood. Spike then removed the second bag he had heated and
refilled the mug.
“Should I keep restocking that?” Xander asked, as Spike put the empty bag in
the small medical waste container they kept in the cupboard underneath the
microwave.
“Thinking of chucking me out, pet?” Spike spoke with his eyes cast down at
his meal. His voice was soft and controlled, but Xander wondered if his eyes
were blue or gold.
“No dipshit. I thought... I figured you might want... to start...” Xander’s
head hurt. ‘I should have stayed in bed. Should have avoided this subject as
long as possible. Should have at least figured out what to say when he wants
to go back to a diet of happy meals with legs. What if...?’
In a flash that line of thought was ended. There wasn’t even a blur of
movement. Suddenly, Spike’s mug was on the counter and he had pinned Xander
to the kitchen wall. Growling, golden-eyed, fangs bared Spike pressed his
body into Xander, their faces almost touching. Spike snarled out his words
in a low silky voice, “What? Thought I’d start culling the herd?”
Xander couldn’t look him in the eyes. Using his dark lashes to veil his
vision of the angry vampire, Xander kept his head lowed as his spoke. “I
don’t want you to leave.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I don’t
want to lose you.”
With a lightening lunge Spike’s fangs were scraping along Xander’s jugular,
as gently as when he had been chipped. “I’m not going anywhere.” He murmured
against the pulse point. “Not ever. We clear of that?” He asked as he pulled
back to look Xander in the eyes.
Wide-eyed, Xander met his gaze as Spike’s eyes shimmered from gold back to
blue. Xander swallowed and asked the question that been haunting him since
Willow had removed the chip. “Are you going to turn me?”
“Do you want me to?” Spike asked forcefully.
“Do you want to?” Xander shot back with equal strength.
“Xander.” Spike loosened his hold on Xander, but Xander grabbed both hands
and held them where they had rested on his hips.
“I need to know what you want. I need to know... how you feel.” Xander
looked down again, not sure which answer he wanted to hear less.
“I want you.” Spike hissed. “However I can have you, for as long as I can
have you. If Red can find a way for you to still be you then fine, but
otherwise...” He finished in a sardonic voice. “I can bag it for your
lifetime.”
“And Dawn’s?” Xander lifted a hand to caress Spike’s angular cheek.
“And Dawn’s.” He said with a smile.
Xander felt a great big goofy grin nearly crack his face, but didn’t care.
He got to keep Spike, or Spike got to keep him, it really didn’t matter
which. “I have something for you.” He reached into the pocket of his shorts
and pulled out a small jewelry box.
“This better not be an engagement ring, pet.” Spike tried to sound annoyed
but his hand seemed to tremble when he opened the box. Inside, mounted to a
pendent on a silver chain, was the chip. He had had the pendent and chain
since Spike had moved in with him. The back had previously been the front
and had an ornate ‘S’ and ‘X’ engraved on it, the chip had been mounted on
by Kelly before the battle when Xander had been helping move the bombs.
“What’s this?” Spike asked.
“What do you mean ‘What’s this?’?’ Xander did a credible imitation of
Spike’s every day accent.
“What does it mean, Xander?” Spike asked, switching to the bedroom accent.
“It means....” And for a moment he was stumped. ‘What does it mean?’ Then
thinking back to some pillow talk about Victorian times, he said. “It means,
I greatly esteem you.” ‘Okay, so not working the Victorian speak.’
Spike snorted and rolled his eyes.
“I do you know. You didn’t just survive this.” Xander gestured toward the
chip. “You conquered it. I... If I haven’t told you, I admire you. Your
tenacity, your strength. You’ve really come through for me, for all of us.”
Xander faltered into a whisper. ‘Great! Any minute now, he’s going to call
me a big girl.’
Spike took the necklace from the box and stared at it a long moment. Then he
lifted his deep blue eyes and stared at Xander. “Put it on for me, eh pet?”
Xander reverently placed the necklace on Spike. Willow had chosen the
perfect length for the chain. It was suspended just over the spot where
Spike’s collarbone met his ribcage. Xander’s favorite place to bite. Xander
leaned in and softly kissed Spikes lips. He trailed kisses down the line of
Spike’s jaw and as he reached his neck began to intermix them with tiny
nips. He pulled back to gaze at the handsome creature in front of him. After
a few moments under his stare Spike laughed and said. “Say something pet.”
“Fuck me?” Xander’s voice was breathless and heady.
Spike’s grip on Xander’s hips tightened and he smoothly lifted him off the
floor. “Here, or in the bedroom?”
Xander seemed torn only for a moment before answering. “Both?”
Spike lowered Xander down and emitted a low predatory growl as he turned him
to the wall. The growl transformed to a purr as Spike ripped Xander’s shorts
neatly down the seam. Xander pressed his arms against the wall, spread his
legs and thrust his hips back toward his lover. Kneeling behind him Spike
pressed in and gently scrapped his blunt teeth against Xander’s balls. With
sweeping licks Spike slowly worked his way back toward Xander’s opening.
Xander moaned, his eyelids fluttered open just in time to see Spike lift the
mug down from the counter. “Rule four, rule four!” He hissed, bucking his
hips in time with his lovers tongue.
Which caused Spike to stop his assault and ask in a teasing voice. “What was
rule four again?”
Xander whimpered at the loss of contact but manage to gasp out. “No using
blood as lube.”
“Need something pet.” Spike said returning to his task with vigor, but
thankfully setting the mug aside.
Supporting himself with one arm Xander frantically reached toward the
counter, while attempting to maintain contact with Spike’s talented mouth.
The salt shaker bounced across the floor, but Xander managed to snag the
bottle of olive oil. He passed it down to his lover and waited for the cool
liquid to be worked into him. Xander relaxed and leaned into him as Spike
rose behind him while working his fingers deep inside. Spike was still fully
clothed and snickered softly in Xander’s ear. ‘Nothing like having a lover
who can monitor your heartbeat to thoroughly map out you kinks.’ Spike had
teased Xander often about how quickly he got hot when he was naked and Spike
was still dressed.
Xander sighed and lay his head back on Spike’s shoulder. Spike’s purr kicked
up a notch as he began to lave the corded muscles along Xander’s collarbone
with his tongue. Each thrust of his fingers sent waves of desire trembling
over Xander’s body. Spike whispered softly against Xander’s neck. “Want
you. Want to mark you. Deep in the muscle, leave a scar. Want to claim you.”
It was his human visage Spike rubbed along Xander neck an across his
shoulders, like a rutting cat. “Xander.” Spike hissed with passion and need.
Xander moaned, his mind scrambling around a thousand thoughts. He knew what
this meant to Spike, and what it would mean for him. They had had this talk
when Spike was still chipped. Would the others understand? Xander didn’t
care about the rest of the world, but Dawn? Willow? Giles and Tara? Would
they misinterpret this, blame Spike? Could they know what it meant to them,
both of them? “Do it.” He gasped.
He was acutely aware of the flesh rending for one brief moment, then
ecstasy. He never felt more alive, more connected. The fact that he knew
what this meant to Spike was intoxicating. He had a guilty flare of sympathy
for Riley. ‘No wonder this was too much for him to resist. Although, the
thought of letting just anyone, anyone other than Spike, do something this
intimate is revolting.’ Then, euphoria swept over him obliterating all
thought.
Slowly Xander became aware of the world around him. Spike was bathing the
mark with long sweeps from shoulder to neck. Spike’s fingers were still
lazily moving inside Xander. His strong arm holding Xander around the chest
was the only thing that had prevent the young man from collapsing to the
floor with the force of his orgasm. Xander’s cum was dripping down the wall
and Spike hadn’t even undressed yet.
Spike slipped his fingers out and turned Xander to face him, never releasing
his firm grip. Exerting tremendous effort and fighting a post coitus
languor, Xander lifted arms and draped them around Spike’s neck. Wishing he
could purr himself, he settled for Spike’s steady vibrations, Xander
drowsily requested. “Bed, now?”
Spike didn’t throw him over his shoulder, like Xander expected. He gathered
him into his arms and in a disconcerting show of vampire strength carried
him slowly to the bedroom. After laying Xander down on the crumpled sheets,
Spike knelt on the bed beside him and admired him like a work of art.
Spike’s look of unbridled lust, and something else deeper and more
permanent, was making Xander wish his had a vampires recuperative powers.
Spike’s fingers ghosted across Xander’s naked flesh, brushing his lips, his
nipples, trailing through the line of dark hair between his navel and
genitals, but stopped nowhere.
“Please.” Xander hoped his eyes and his feeble attempt to lift Spike’s tee
shirt conveyed his need for Spike to get naked. He knew he was down to
wrapping his mind around only a few words and did not think they would be
very coherent.
Spike, ever the linguist, laughed as he leaned back and pulled his shirt
off. He slowly unbuttoned his jeans, smirking at Xander’s obvious
frustration. His cock sprang out ridged and ready as he tossed the denims
off the bed. “For me?” Xander whispered, determined to show his lover he had
been working on the whole retaining-the-ability-to-speak-during-sex thing.
Spike’s laugh deepened and he crawled over Xander, he wore nothing but the
necklace and tongue kissed the mark. “Mine.” Spike’s voiced sounded happier
than Xander had ever heard him. It contained none of the possessiveness he
had expected; instead the rich deep tones were almost giddy. “My beautiful
brown-eyed boy; my sweet precious pet; my Xander, so sweet.” His hands
tumbled and tickled, rolling Xander into a gasping giggling ball of desire.
Spike finally lifted Xander’s ankles over his shoulder and slid home into
the well-oiled passage.
Xander bucked up into his purring, laughing lover and called out. “More,
faster harder, now Spike now.” ‘So much for the whole speech thing.’ Spike
obliged him by quickly increasing the tempo of his thrusts and angling for
his prostate. As the repeated stimulation sent blood pounding to his head
Xander could just make out Spike’s words.
“O, how thy worth with manners may I sing,
When thou art all the better part of me?
What can mine own praise to mine own self bring?
And what is’t but mine own, when I praise thee?”
Xander hugged Spike tightly to him with both his arms and legs to prevent
Spike from rolling off his body after his climax. He asked. “Did you write
that?”
Spike lifted his head from where it was tucked under Xander’s chin and met
Xander’s drooping gaze with an incredulous look. His voice held exasperation
and affection when he said. “Idiot.”
Time past. Basking in the afterglow segued into lazing about in bed, until
the front door bell nudged Xander out of a light doze. “I told you Red was
bringing over Chinese for supper, didn’t I?” Spike asked lifting his head up
of Xander’s stomach, which he had been using as a pillow. Xander bolted from
the bed pulling on a crumpled pair of jeans as he left the bedroom. ‘Bad
vampire. Bad Xander, going commando with Willow in the apartment.’
Xander ran toward the door to the apartment, doubled back and slingshot into
the kitchen. He scooped up the remains of his shorts and mopped up the
spilled oil off of the floor. Using the oil soaked rag he wiped the dry cum
off the wall. Tossing the damp item into the covered trash bin, he flipped
the switch on the fan above the stove in an attempt to get rid of the reek
of sex. He finished his dash to the door just as the bell rang again.
Being Sunnydale, even though it was Sunday afternoon he checked the
peephole. ‘So not Willow and Tara, and speaking of commando.’ Outside the
door were the two commandos, Riley and Miller. Xander felt Spike stroking
his bare spine and turned to be handed a tee shirt. ‘Spike? Covering me up?
He spends all his time ripping my clothes off.’ Spike smiled at Xander’s
confusion and trailed a finger across the mark. ‘Oh, duh. Goofy grin back.
Erection back; commandos outside the door. Thanks Spike.’
“It’s Riley and that Miller guy. I’ll totally lose the cleaning deposit if
you kill them.” Xander joked while biting his bottom lip.
“Told you I wouldn’t.” Spike scowled.
Xander pulled on the shirt and leaned in to plant a calming kiss on his
pissed off lover. “Actually you said you wouldn’t hunt to feed, you never
swore off revenge. Vengeance... Well let’s not go into my experience with
vengeance.” Xander offered Spike a wobbly smile. “But I owe Miller, and
Finn’s an asshole, but he’s Buffy’s asshole. Wait... That really came out
really wrong.”
Spike snorted and turned and strolled back into the apartment. “Unless they
hurt you pet their safe, for now.”
Thinking that was as much as he could hope for from Spike, Xander opened the
door. Riley was using a pair of crutches and sported a cast from the top of
this thigh to his ankle. Xander invited both men in, and lead the way into
the living room. The bedroom door was shut and there was no sign of Spike.
“Can I get you anything?” Xander asked the men.
“No. Thanks. Xander, I just wanted to say...” Riley faltered and looked to
his friend for moral support. Graham didn’t say anything, but he gave Riley
a slight nod.
“You were right.” Riley said. “About everything.”
“Riley... some of that stuff... I would have said anything to get you to
talk. Those were my people in the front lines; the sooner we stopped you the
fewer would die.” Xander temporized, but Riley cut in.
“It was true, and you know it. I was a liability to Buffy, to all of you. I
put you in danger, and I’m doing the same thing to my unit now. I’m going to
resign my commission and get some help.” He looked down at the floor seeming
almost as broken as he had seemed the two nights ago. Miller looked
uncomfortable, like he wanted to offer support to Riley but didn’t want to
make him seem any weaker in front of Xander.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Xander said. “Not sorry you’re getting help, but
that you’re resigning. You’ve learned some hard lessons about blindly
following orders and not questioning the results. I believe that deep down
your a good man Riley Finn. I think that if good men leave the hard jobs to
those without the moral conscious for it to bother them then only the bad
men are doing those jobs.”
“Thanks Xander, that means a lot.” Riley clenched his jaw and squared his
shoulders. Graham placed a supportive hand on his back.
“She loved you.” Xander said softly. “Believe that that means you’re worth
loving. I do.”
The doorbell rang and Riley used the distraction to break eye contact with
Xander’s frank gaze. Spike emerged from the bedroom much to the surprise of
the commandos. “That’ll be the girls.” He said and continued stroll to the
door. Riley looked like he was going to say something, but was interrupted
by the sounds from the doorway.
Dawn squealed and through her arms around Spike’s neck and the men in the
living room heard her clear voice say “I always miss the explosions!” Spike
snorted and swung her up in his arms. He carried her into the apartment,
trailed by witches bearing paper sacks of Chinese food. Dawn stopped
laughing when she saw Riley. Spike set her down on her feet, but she locked
both arms around his waist and pressed close.
“Hi Dawn.” Riley said.
“Riley.” She answered. Her eyes darted from one commando to another. If, she
looked this scared with them in street clothes, Xander was glad she hadn’t
run into them in uniform.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. About you mom, about Buffy....” The young
man looked so helpless, apparently Willow couldn’t stand to let him twist in
the wind.
“Thank you, we appreciate your sympathy.” Willow said quietly, sitting down
her bag on the dining table and turned to take Tara’s and doing the same. “I
feel horrible you’re finding out like that.” Willow continued. ‘That my
Willow always ready to forgive and forget.’ Willow crossed to stand near
Dawn and Spike. “We would have told you as soon as it happened, but of
course we couldn’t. We tried to reach you before Buffy died.” She gently
stroked Dawn’s hair. ‘Or maybe not, maybe she’s just going to bludgeon him
with a shovel.’
Xander stepped in before Riley and his friend ended up sharing a cage with
Amy. “We’re all” Xander cast a significant glance at the little group
standing so close together, complete now that Tara had sidled up to Willow.
‘Maybe the whole pack thing isn’t just hyena-speak.’ He continued. “We’re
all glad to hear you’re getting help Riley. We’ve lost too many good people
to the Hellmouth.
The doorbell rang again, and Riley and Graham declined to stay for dinner.
Xander let Giles in while he let out the commandos. He responded to Giles’
raised eyebrow with a shrug and a shake of his head. They could discuss it
later for now food beckoned and all else was secondary.
Xander sat at his table. He watched Dawn pumping Spike for details about the
battle. He caught Tara’s covert eye roll to Willow over some piece of Spike
hyperbola. He looked across the table at Giles and smiled. This was home.
This was family. Whatever tomorrow brought, they could face it together.
The End
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