The Thing About Josh
What is it about Joshua Scott Chasez?
Since the first time that I saw him all those many years ago he's been nothing but a big mystery to me. This tall, lanky young man with piercing blue eyes and soft brown hair always had an air of natural grace that was rarely found in a person. He has a beauty that can't be manufactured or faked, but it could grow more with age. It's no wonder the general population of teenage girls swoon to his every move.
I would watch him go about his life and I would be mesmerized by the things he would do. He sleeps like there is no tomorrow but when he does he's at peace with himself. When he performs on stage he performs like there's nothing in the world he would rather be doing. (No wonder he's called the "Spaz".)He creates the most wonderful songs and produces them with a magical touch. On break time from being on stage, he would be listening to some jazz CD or writing something on his journal. But I think he's at his best when no one is there to watch him and he sings out loud with that amazingly soulful voice of his.
He's a caring individual who loves his family and friends. He has a practical, responsible and spontaneous nature that attracts people from miles on end. He's the "Big Daddy" of Nsync and an amazing older brother. He's lazy and energetic, and at times can be a complete asshole but be your best friend the next.
But I wouldn't have him any other way. I just love him that way.
I really don't know when I first started to fall in love with him but I remember the very day that I can honestly say that I love him. It was after a huge party that Jive hosted with half of the music industries bigwigs in attendance. Most of us decided to go home because we gotten ourselves smashed rather early. Since Josh's apartment was the nearest, we all crashed there for the night.
I woke up about 4:30AM due to someone's snoring; it was unrecognizable at the time due to my hangover. He was in the kitchen not able to sleep for one reason or another. I got some water and Tylenol, down them, and then sat down beside him. At one point our conversation stopped to comfortable silence and we just smiled at each other with the lull.
I don't know what happened. Maybe it was the alcohol in our system or maybe our minds were playing tricks on us but it happened anyway. Somehow Josh, with luminescent eyes and a shy grin, looked at me as if he was looking at my soul and he leaned in. He kissed me. (You know what I'm talking about. The one that's not filled with passion but seems to be full of loving need.) He pulled away and we looked at each other with intent. I kissed him back but with a more urgent need to be with him. Everyone found us sleeping in his bed the next morning with our arms around each other and with my head lying down on his chest.
It's been almost a year since that night. We rarely found ourselves separated during bedtime and we were always together when we could. It almost became a running joke with the guys because it was like we were attached to the hip. Until now, Josh is still a mystery to me but one thing is clear to me. He's in love with me and that I'm in love with him.
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