Chapter 17
JC awoke to the sound of screaming. He jumped; sitting up so fast his head
hit the bunk above him. He stumbled, tripping over the sheet wrapped around
his legs. That was Justin's scream. He had to get to him. He ran to the
front of the bus where the scream had come from. Justin was wrapped in Joey'
s arms, breathing heavily. He knew that Justin was safe with Joey, but he
had to know what happened.
He entered the small entertainment area hesitantly. "Is everything ok?" He
asked, as Joey glanced up at him.
"Justin had a nightmare. Everything's ok now. Isn't it Just?" Joey asked,
pulling away from Justin enough to see his face.
Justin slightly lifted his head from Joey's shoulder, glancing at JC. JC
could see that whatever it was, Justin was fighting hard to hold back tears.
He trembled as his gaze stayed locked on JC. JC stepped toward Justin and
Joey. Justin put his head back down, burying his nose in Joey's shoulder. He
trembled harder as he fought tears. He willed himself not to look at JC
again. Joey felt Justin tighten his arms around him as the shaking got
worse.
"Justin" JC said, stepping toward Justin.
Joey felt Justin stiffen as JC approached. He held up a hand to stop JC. He
shook his head; his eyes pleading with JC to just leave. JC turned and left.
Justin relaxed in Joey's arms.
Joey rubbed Justin's back. "Wanna tell me about it?" He asked.
"No" Justin said, attempting to put his head back on Joey's shoulder.
Joey pushed Justin away gently. "Come on Justin, you'll feel better if you
do."
JC stood beside the doorway, his back pressed against the wall. He knew it
was wrong to eavesdrop, but he couldn't leave without knowing what had
Justin so upset.
"JC asked me to stop over at his place. He said he had something to show me.
I got there and the door was open, so I went in. JC wasn't anywhere down
stairs. I went upstairs. I heard something coming from JC's bedroom. I
thought that maybe he was watching TV or something. The door wasn't closed
tight. I pushed it open. JC was fucking some guy. He looked exactly like me
Joey. It was like looking in a mirror. JC saw me. He grinned and kept
fucking the guy. I turned to leave but it was like the door disappeared. He
laughed this evil sounding laugh. I couldn't get out Joey. He just kept
laughing at me. Once he was done with the guy he stopped laughing. He came
over to me and put his hand under my chin, pressing my head back into the
wall. He told me that he hoped now I saw why he didn't want me. He could
have anyone he wanted. Why would he want me? He wiped the tears off of my
cheek and then he laughed again and said I was pathetic. He asked me what I
thought I had that he couldn't get somewhere else. I tried to leave again. I
still couldn't find the door. That's when I must have fallen off the sofa
and it woke me up." Justin finished telling Joey about his dream and then
buried his face in his hands.
JC sank to the floor, tears welling in his eyes.
Joey saw movement, a shadow outside the doorway. "I'll be right back Justin.
I'm gonna get you a drink."
Joey saw JC sitting with his back against the wall; eyes clenched tightly
shut and facing the ceiling. Joey stood, looking down at JC.
"Do you see what you've done? The worst thing about all this though is that
I know you're 'in' love with him. You just don't know 'how' to love. You're
scared. What's made you such a cynical bastard?" Joey paused, watching JC's
face for a moment. "Do you even know? Whatever it is you better figure it
out before you lose Justin for good." He warned, turning and heading toward
the tiny kitchen area to get Justin some water.
JC watched Joey's retreating back. He wondered what Joey had meant. He'd
already lost Justin, to Joey in fact. He wanted to pray that Justin could
forgive him for all that he'd put him through. He wanted to believe that he'
d have a chance to show Justin how much he loved him. JC knew though that he
'd blown it. He let his one chance at love and happiness slip away, all
because he was a damn coward. He'd never feel Justin's soft pink lips on his
again. He'd never feel Justin's arms wrapped around him, holding him
tightly. Justin wouldn't smile just for him anymore; his eyes wouldn't
sparkle when he laughed at something goofy JC said or did. He'd never hear
Justin say that he loved him again. JC questioned how he came to love
Justin. He'd vowed never to love. He didn't believe in love. Something had
happened along the way. That something was Justin. He hauled himself to his
feet as he heard Joey returning. JC slowly trudged back to his bunk, taking
his thoughts with him. He knew it was going to be a long night and that
sleep wouldn't come easily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joey handed Justin a bottle of water and sat back down beside him. "Are you
feeling any better?" He inquired, watching Justin open the bottle and drink
from it.
"I don't know." Justin shrugged.
Joey patted Justin's leg. "I know J it's tough. Just remember it was only a
dream. No matter how much of an ass JC can be, he'd never do anything like
that."
"It wasn't so much what he did, it was what he said. I realized that it's
true. I mean, what would JC want me for. He can have any guy he wants."
Justin quietly spoke, burying his head in his hands.
Joey sighed, rubbing Justin's back soothingly. "That's not true Justin.
Those other guys don't love JC. They don't stand on their head naked on a
balcony just to make JC smile when he's having a bad day. They don't eat
chinese food when they really wanted mexican just because it's JC's
favorite. You're beautiful Justin, not just in looks but the whole you. You'
re beautiful inside as well as outside."
"Joey, you don't really want me like Chris keeps saying do you? Because I
mean, I didn't even think you liked guys but yet you've been kissing me and
stuff and you aren't acting all grossed out. That would be bad if you did. I
mean, I love you man you're my best friend right now. I just don't love you
like I love JC, I wish I did." Justin sighed, smiling sadly at his friend.
"You know a few months ago, I would have laughed somebody out of the room if
they said I'd be making out with you. I mean, I've never thought of that
with a guy before. I've always thought you were good looking, but I never
consciously wanted to kiss you. I guess since all of this started with you
and JC, I've been noticing guys more. Don't get me wrong, I still like the
ladies. I'm just thinking there ain't nothing wrong with broadening my
horizons a little if ya know what I mean." Joey grinned, wiggling his
eyebrows suggestively and making Justin laugh.
"Well just don't get any ideas about me. I don't want Lance trying to kick
my ass." Justin teased, giving Joey's shoulder a light shove.
Joey shoved Justin back, while giving him a confused look. "Lance, what the
hell would he care?"
"Oh please Joey, tell me you're not that blind. Lance wants you bad. He
looks like he wants to hit me every time I touch you." Justin informed his
shocked friend.
Joey smacked Justin's shoulder. "He does not." He laughed, disbelief evident
in his voice.
As Justin began to argue with Joey the bus lurched to a stop.
"What's going on?" Justin asked.
Joey shrugged. As he stood to go investigate the doors to the bus opened.
Chris and Lance boarded.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Joey asked, smiling at Lance who sat beside him.
Lance yawned, leaning his head on Joey's shoulder. "Our bus broke down."
JC walked into the small area yawning and stretching. "What's going on?" He
asked, sitting on the floor between Justin and Joey's legs.
"Bus broke down." Justin said, moving his legs aside so JC could lean back
against the sofa.
"Mmm" JC mumbled, leaning his head back on the sofa.
Justin stiffened as JC's forehead rested against his thigh. JC closed his
eyes. He stayed still, waiting for Justin to push his head away. He nearly
jumped when he felt Justin's fingertips lightly touch the ends of his hair.
He slowly moved his head, pressing his face to Justin's leg. He savored the
smell and feel of Justin. He knew it was wrong. Joey was sitting right next
to him. He smiled to himself though, not caring as he felt Justin's thigh
press gently back against his face.
Chapter 18
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