Chapter 14
JC missed Justin's body pressing against his. He missed Justin's kiss. He
missed the way Justin would caress the back of his neck as he whispered in
his ear. He missed Justin's smell. He missed his laughter. Most of all JC
missed the glint in Justin's eyes when he smiled.
JC looked on as Lance talked with the hotel manager. He saw Justin sitting
on a sofa, leaning on Joey. JC had never seen Justin so forlorn. He hated
knowing that he was the one that had made Justin so sad. JC realized that he
'd give anything to see Justin smile again. He knew though that he'd given
up that right when he'd purposely hurt Justin.
"What are you doing? Planning more ways to hurt Justin." Lance asked,
snidely.
JC sighed, "no" he replied, dropping his gaze to the floor.
"Just leave Justin alone, please. You've done enough damage. Joey wants you
dead as it is." Lance said, watching Joey talking softly to Justin.
JC glanced back over at Justin and Joey, "Do you think they're together
now?" he asked, looking back at Lance.
"No, I don't. Not that it's any of your business if they are." Lance
replied.
JC sat quietly for a few minutes, just watching Justin and Joey talk and
laugh together.
Lance watched JC. He knew that JC wasn't as unaffected by everything as he'd
like people to think.
******************************
"Thank you for being such a great friend Joey. I don't know what I would've
done these past couple of weeks without you." Justin said, hugging Joey
tightly.
Joey smiled, "Justin, you don't ever have to thank me for caring about you.
That's like thanking me for breathing, it's something that just comes
naturally." he said, squeezing Justin tighter.
"He's watching us. Hasn't he done enough?" Justin asked sadly, looking away
from JC.
Joey sighed, "Maybe it's because he's feeling guilty. I really don't think
he meant to hurt you like that. I think he used you finding him like that as
an excuse to push you further away." he said, turning to observe JC's
reaction to the embrace he and Justin were still in.
*******************************
JC couldn't tear his eyes away from Justin and Joey. He wanted to, but he
just couldn't. It was like looking down when someone tells you not to. You
can't help it, you just do it.
"This wasn't supposed to happen." JC said, talking more to himself than
anyone in particular.
Lance glanced at his friend. He saw that JC was still watching Justin and
Joey.
"What wasn't supposed to happen JC?" Lance asked.
"It's not supposed to hurt." JC said, finally looking at Lance.
Lance was pretty sure he knew what JC was talking about, but he wanted to
hear it from him to be positive.
"What's not supposed to hurt?" He asked, noticing that JC was once again
staring at Justin and Joey.
"I hurt." JC replied, his gaze never wavering.
Lance nodded knowingly, "Why do you hurt JC?"
JC tore his eyes away from Justin and Joey, looking at the floor.
"Justin hurts." He said, staring at the floor as if it were the most
fascinating thing he'd ever seen.
Lance brought his hand to JC's face, lifting his chin to look at him.
"Ok, so you know what the problem is. What are you going to do about it?"
The blond asked, holding his friends chin in a firm grip.
"Nothing" JC answered, swatting Lance's hand away from his face.
"Nothing? Why the hell not? Jesus JC, you are easily the most fucked up
person I know." Lance berated, while looking at JC with disgust.
JC stood, "Fuck you, Lance." he said, turning toward the exit.
**************************
Joey looked up as Lance approached them. "Hey Lance, everything ok?" He
asked, nodding toward the door JC had just stormed out of.
"Yeah, everything's cool. What are you guys up to?" He asked, changing the
subject.
Justin sighed, "Why does he hate me Lance?" he asked, sadly watching the
door in which JC had exited.
Lance dropped down beside Justin. "He doesn't hate you Justin." He said,
rubbing Justin's back.
"Well he sure has a funny way of showing it." Justin mumbled.
Lance continued stroking Justin's back. "He's so confused right now Justin.
He really didn't want to hurt you. He just didn't know any other way to
protect himself."
"He shouldn't feel like he has to protect himself from me. I'd rip out my
own heart before I ever hurt him." Justin said earnestly, looking at Lance
as if to ask if he believed him.
Lance wrapped his arm around Justin's shoulder and hugged him. "I know
Justin, JC does too. He's just scared. It's not like you've given him any
space to think about things, and come to that conclusion on his own." Lance
mildly rebuked.
The hotel manager approached to tell them their rooms were finally ready,
interrupting before Justin could reply.
********************************
"Jesus, how could they screw up the rooms at a time when we so do not need
this shit?" Chris asked, as Lance tried to figure out what to do.
They had all been told that they would have their own rooms. Somehow there
had been a mix up and they only had two rooms. One room had two twin size
beds, the other had two full size beds.
"Shit, this sucks. How are we gonna do this?" Joey asked, turning to Lance
for an answer.
Justin stepped away from the wall he was leaning against. "Don't worry about
this because of me you guys. I'll be fine, no matter who I share with. We'll
just draw straws like we usually do. The longest and the shortest get the
room with the single beds. The remaining three take the other room." He said.
"Are you sure about this Justin?" Joey asked, watching Lance cutting the
straws.
"I'm fine Joey, it's just a room. It's not like we have time to do much in
them but sleep anyway." Justin assured his worried friend.
Lance returned with the cut straws. "Ok, straws are ready. Who's going
first?" He asked, holding up the hand containing the straws.
"I am." Chris said, jumping up to grab a straw.
Everyone else drew their straws. After every straw was drawn, the men opened
their hands to show their straws. There were several audible gasps.
Chapter 15
Back To Not Until You Love Me Main Page
