Parts 17,18,19
Part 17: Disquieted
Dressed in combat gear he was marched through the village towards the main guerilla guy's hut, hands tied behind his back. Llamas scattered, scared. Two guerillas on either side marched him in and forced him to kneel before their leader. A guinea pig crawled out from under the bed and stared at him, trying to figure out if this guy wanted to eat him, then scampered away under the bed. Xander slowly looked up. He saw the reclining figure, head covered by a white towel. The guerilla leader removed the towel, wiping away the sweat from the tropical heat.
It was Ampata, his own Inca mummy girl. Xander stared and swallowed hard. He slowly shook his head. He wanted to speak, but couldn't.
She spoke softly in her sweet Peruvian accent, "I thought you were a cowboy, but you are suldadu-cha, a soldier-boy. I don't understand. Have you come to kill me?" There was real hurt in her voice. "I would die rather than hurt you, suldadu-cha. And you have come to kill me? Why, suldadu-cha?" Her voice faded away.
Jesse's voice continued, "I don't really care why you came, I'm just really glad to see you." Xander looked into what was now Jesse's face.
Jesse got up from the bed and walked over to him, lifting Xander to his feet. He smiled at Xander, and put his hands on his shoulders. Xander could feel his warm hands caressing his upper arms then his shoulders and then his back. Feeling that warm loving touch that he missed so badly, needed so badly. He looked into Jesse's eyes. Jesse's eyes twinkled with joy at seeing him, his mouth formed a smile, and as he hugged him, pulled him in, he whispered sweetly "Xander".
And Jesse burst into a cloud of dust.
Xander looked down in horror at the stake he was holding in front of him, that has just pierced Jesse's heart. He dropped the wooden stake on the ground. The other guerillas continued about their tasks like nothing had happened, not paying the least bit of attention to him.
He ran out of the door of the hut … and into his basement. He walked over to the stairs. The pounding began again at the door at the top of the stairs.
Xander stood, immobilized.
"What are you two doing down there?"
Xander looked over his shoulder, Graham was sitting on the couch, playing Nintendo, oblivious to the pounding.
"What the hell are you two doing down there!"
He looked back up the stairs. The shouting became more clear. "What's going on down there!"
He turned around and saw Jesse on the couch instead of Graham, clutching the Nintendo controls.
He pleaded desperately with Jesse. "That's not the way out!"
Jesse seemed completely unconcerned. He shrugged and explained, "Ça depend ou est-ce-que tu veux aller,"
"What?" asked Xander, panicking. "I don’t understand you!"
"Tu veux-tu me tuer encore?" Asked Jesse, with an encouraging nod. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a stake and put on the arm of the couch within Xander's reach, and went back to playing Nintendo. The pounding continued as Xander looked over and stared at the stake in horror. There was blood on it.
"Jesse!" Xander protested.
Jesse looked up at him, smiling. "I loved you, and you killed me."
"I didn’t kill *you*!"
"You killed me." Jesse shrugged his shoulders and went back to playing Nintendo, engrossed in shooting down the commando hiding behind the fortress wall.
"You were already dead."
Eyes focused on the Nintendo commando game, Jesse explained, "I felt more alive than I'd ever felt before.'
"You were already dead"
"I felt alive," Jesse repeated wistfully.
Xander was close to tears. He had to make Jesse understand, he repeated more insistently, "You were already dead!"
Jesse looked over at him, and shook his head, smiling sadly, "No. When I was with *you*, I felt alive."
The door at the top of the stairs opened, and the older man angrily shouted Xander's name.
Xander turned his head. Giles sneered down at him with a look of disgust.
"You're no bloody soldier!"
Xander hung his head in shame.
"Did you really think I didn't know about you and *him*?"
Xander looked over at the couch, Graham was playing Nintendo again, killing cartoon vampires left and right on the TV screen. He looked up Xander and grinned, "I got him. Did you see that? I *got* him!"
He scoured the room frantically, searching for Jesse, ignoring Giles, who was still scowling at him.
He finally knew what he wanted to say to Jesse, what he needed to say. But Jesse wasn't there anymore. Jesse was gone. Suddenly, Xander felt completely panicked, with no idea what to do.
Graham stood up and headed towards the stairs.
"That’s not the way out!" Xander yelled at him
"Depends where you wanna go." Graham said with a shrug, and just the hint of a knowing smile. He headed up the stairs. Giles started to block his path, but Graham just shook his head and said "No," and walked past him. At the top of the stairs, Graham turned to Xander and motioned with his arm and said, "Come on!" and he went out.
Xander started to follow him out. Giles was halfway up the stairs, blocking his way. "And where do you think you're going?"
"Out."
Giles sneered at him.
Xander got angry. He got ready to push him aside, but Giles was now behind him at the foot of the stairs.
Xander looked down the stairs at him, puzzled.
Giles shrugged and smiled at him, "I was never really in your way."
Xander woke up with a start. Not scared to death like after the First Slayer nightmare, but disquieted. The first thing he did was to make sure Graham was still there. He was, breathing, warm, alive, sleeping there on his side, facing away from Xander.
He stared up at the ceiling, and heaved a sigh. He found himself thinking about Jesse. About going to the memorial service, and standing there, surrounded by neighbors and friends, all of them expressing their condolences to the family and then looking to him for the jokey comment to break their grief. Not one person there had asked him how he was doing, how he was holding up under the loss of his best friend. Xander could remember clearly how he felt completely alone in the world.
And then going with Jesse's family as the priest blessed the grave, knowing that the grave was really empty. That Jesse's remains were a pile of dust that some janitor had swept up at the Bronze one morning. Jesse's parents needed that funeral. They needed closure, needed to believe he was in his place in the family plot. Jesse's mom could barely look at him, like she couldn't help wondering why it hadn't been Xander who had suddenly disappeared from her life instead of her son, like she blamed Xander for it all. And Xander felt the sting of that blame. He had held the stake that had killed Jesse. No! That had killed the vampire, Jesse had been dead long before that. The real Jesse.
There was so much he would tell Jesse now if he could. So much he knew now that he didn't know then. So much he knew he could do, that he knew how to do, now. So much he wished he could share with him. So much he wished he could show him.
And, maybe, just maybe he could answer the question that Jesse put to him the one time Jesse did talk about what they were doing… the question that Xander blew off, didn't answer, didn’t respond to, and Jesse stormed off, too mad, too shamed to stay.
But, maybe he could answer it now … just maybe. Yeah, he missed Jesse. Part of him was always gonna miss Jesse. He blinked. Because part of him was always gonna love Jesse.
OK, morbid much. Dude was dead.
He felt a frisson of guilt. Here he was in bed with Graham, and his thoughts were on Jesse. But Graham didn't seem jealous when he brought Jesse up … Well, maybe there was a little bit of jealousy, a really cute kind, for what he had shared with Jesse.
He looked over at the sleeping commando guy. He reached over and touched him gently, not wanting to wake him. Graham mumbled something unintelligible as Xander gently ran his hand along his side, feeling his warm living flesh, reassuring himself that Graham really was there, still at his side.
He grinned. He guessed he'd have to make do with the hunk lying next to him, the one who was ready to do anything Xander wanted, and who had taught Xander more about just being with someone else than anyone else ever had. The one who looked at him with real longing, real desire… in a way that no one else ever had.
Xander wished Jesse could see this. See just how nice it could be with another guy. How it didn't have to be shame-filled or guilt-ridden, how it could just be … fun. OK, fun and intense and exciting, and like nothing he'd ever felt before.
He sighed and whispered to the ether, "Yeah, I loved you too, Jesse." He looked over at the sleeping form beside him. Xander rolled onto his side, put an arm across Graham's chest and snuggled up against him, pressing his body against his. Graham didn't respond except to keep breathing, which Xander thought was just about the best thing Graham could possibly do.
*****
Part 18: Shooting Hoops
Graham let Xander sleep. It was Saturday. He didn't have to go to work today, and besides, he deserved the sleep. Plus he just looked so innocent lying there sprawled across his bed. Graham was content just to watch him … for a while anyway. He started to play with his hardening cock, just looking at Xander was enough to get him hard. But then he decided he it might be more fun to wait till Xander woke up. He sighed contentedly and then drifted back to sleep himself.
He opened his eyes.
"Morning, sleepy head." Xander grinned down at him, leaning on one elbow.
"Morning, Xand." Graham leaned up and kissed him very gently, letting his head fall back down.
"I thought you initiative types got up at the crack of dawn, and here it is almost eleven …"
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Graham sat up in a panic.
"What?"
"I always shoot hoops with Rye on Saturdays, right after he finishes watching Speed Racer down in the TV room."
"And shooting hoops with Riley is more fun than …" pouted Xander, with more than a hint of disappointment in his voice.
"Fuck no! I mean no. I mean ...I'm sorry." Graham sat on the edge of the bed, and put his head in his hands.
Xander sat up and massaged his shoulders. "Like I told you before, tell him when you're ready. I'm cool."
"Yeah?" Graham was uncertain, and he'd admit to being horny, too. But if he didn't meet him downstairs in four minutes, Riley was gonna come looking for him.
"Yeah. Absolutely. I should put in some face time at home, anyway." Xander gave him a light slap on the back. "Run along outside and play with your little friend."
Graham flashed him a grateful grin, and rushed to pull on shorts and T-shirt and pull on his basketball shoes. He didn't want Riley to come looking for him and find out that he wasn't exactly alone.
Basketball under his arm, he darted over to the bed, and kissed Xander. "I'll make it up to you tonight, Xander."
"Believe it, soldier." Xander said in his best attempt at a gruff voice.
Graham broke into a huge grin and stared at Xander sprawled in his bed. He snapped off a perfect salute. "Yes, *sir*!" he whispered, and ran out the door.
Xander got out of bed slowly. He hunted around on the floor and found his clothes. He pulled on last night'spants and T-shirt and jammed his hands through the sleeves of his shirt without bothering to button it.
He headed out. Coming down the stairs he ran into another Lowell House commando guy, who, judging from the look on his face, was wondering what Xander was doing there.
"Uh, have you seen Buffy? Blonde girl, she's Riley's, uh, ..."
The guy grinned. "She took off about an hour ago. Doesn't share Riley's Speed Racer obsession, I guess."
"Thanks, I'll check her place. Later."
"Later."
As Xander rounded the corner of Lowell house, he heard the sound of a ball bouncing on concrete. Xander followed the sound round to the back of Lowell House and saw the two guys playing on a concrete half court.
He watched Graham go up for a shot. Riley had the height advantage, but Graham drove hard, leapt and made it. Xander grinned.
Riley took the ball back, dribbling just for the practice, Graham moved in to guard. Xander watched the man move. Maybe it was the one-on-one aspect of this game, or maybe he was just paying closer attention, but Graham looked better playing basketball than playing Frisbee. Xander shook his head as he realized the frisbee game was only a few days ago, even though it felt like a lifetime. He watched the game.
He was pretty frankly staring at Graham, who was resting a sec, bent over slightly after missing a block, the muscles on his arms tensed and shining with sweat. Xander licked his lips unconsciously.
Xander suddenly realized that he hadn't played basketball (other than the obligatory gym games) in almost three and a half years. He used to play all the time. OK, he and Jesse used to play all the time. They weren't all-stars, but they were decent pick-up players. From the time they were in elementary school, the two spent many afternoons at Jesse's house, around back where Jesse's dad had nailed up a backboard on the side of the garage.
Xander remembered being really jealous when Jesse first told him that his dad had put it up for him. He couldn't imagine his did ever doing anything like that. To be honest, one of the early attractions of shooting hoops with Jesse had been precisely that he wasn't home dealing with his parents.
His mom asked him exactly once where he had spent the afternoon, instead of folowing his established routine of coming straight home and watching TV. He told her he'd been at Jesse's. She'd nodded and turned back to the stove, never bothering to ask what he was doing there, or even who Jesse was. Somewhere in her mind, she knew that mothers were supposed to know where their kids were. Now that she knew, her maternal obligation was fulfilled. He'd gotten the distinct impression that she was just as glad not to have him in the house.
Jesse's mom was different. She brought out glasses of lemonade or Kool-Aid or cokes and jokingly informing the two that it was half time, asking Jesse and Xander what happened at school that day, and chuckling at their smart-ass comments, while they wolfed down their drinks. She would tell them to have fun, and take the empty glasses or bottles back in the kitchen door, throwing her son a grin and a little wave, which always embarrassed him, but which made Xander jealous as hell.
Shit, practically his only happy school memories were of being with Jesse, recounting the stupid answer that some dumb jock had given in history class, or making fun of the cheerleaders,
"Cordelia sure had the fashion victim thing going on today."
"Xand, if skunk-skin shoes were in fashion, she'd have six pairs."
Then tossing their bookbags by the back door, Jesse would grab the ball from the back porch and passing it to Xander, the two would play one on one until suppertime.
Playing with Jesse had just been fun. They both played at about the same level: pretty good, not quite good enough to make the team, but good enough to make it fun. Jesse had a jump shot that wasn't bad, and Xander was good at putting the ball in from the side. They were always trading wisecracks. Jesse was the only one who could consistently out wise-crack Xander. With everyone else, it was Xander who played the joker.
And it was while playing basketball that it first happened. That was when Xander had gist first moment of realization.
He was watching Jesse carefully as his bud took the ball back to the far edge of the driveway, dribbling all the way. Jesse was kind of a goof, walking into people in the halls, banging his head against his locker while distracted by talking to Xander. But when he was playing basketball, all of the sudden he came alive. No longer the awkward gawky kid, he moved with grace and purpose. Xander grew to enjoy just watching him.
Jesse glanced at Xander, who was moving up to guard him. He faked left. It was his favourite move, so Xander was ready for it. But instead of going right, he actually went left, moving fast around Xander. He took four steps around him and went up for a jump shot. It was a beautiful shot, no hoop, nothing but net. He landed and pumped his arm and said "yes!", and grabbed the rebound and turned to Xander to toss it to him. Xander was standing, hands on hips just watching with an admiring smile on his face.
"Nice shot!" He exclaimed, impressed by the shot.
"Thanks." Jesse's grin was genuine, his voice a mixture of pride and surprise, since Xander rarely complimented him on anything. Xander just kept looking at him, realizing that he just plain looked good. Jesse was moving easily from side to side as he slowly dribbled the ball, that grin on his face, his eyes twinkling with pleasure at Xander's compliment. He tossed the ball to Xander.
Xander caught the ball, and took it back to the far edge. He moved up dribbling, but was watching Jesse so intensely that Jesse just snatched the ball from his hands, and turned around, dribbling, his back to Xander as he went to the back of the drive. He looked at Xander then at the hoop, deciding how to play this one.
Jesse charged, Xander took position to block his advance, moving back slightly so as not to foul him. Jesse went up for a shot just as Xander stopped moving back. Jesse came down on him and the two landed in a heap, Jesse on top of a sprawled out Xander, hands on Xander's chest. Xander looked up in panic, because he was suddenly very aware that he was rock hard. And Jesse couldn't miss it since his butt was right on top of his hard-on. Jesse just grinned down at him, and stood up, reached down a hand, Xander took it and Jesse pulled him to his feet. Jesse gave him an embarrassed cockeyed smile.
"Happens to me all the time, too." Jesse whispered softly, a slightly embarrassed smile on his face.
Jesse picked up the ball and tossed it to Xander. "Come on, play."
The very next Saturday, Xander casually mentioned to Jesse as they played that he had found some 'interesting' videos at his Uncle Rory's, and had kind of borrowed them, sort of without asking. Jesse grinned widely, took one last shot, put the ball back on the back porch and yelled to his mom that he'd be home for supper…
And as they sat on the couch in Xander's basement, watching the video, their eyes kept darting furtively at each other as they pulled their hard-ons out and relieved the tension.
"Hey! Xander!" Riley's voice boomed out, startling Xander.
"Hey, Riley!"
"Buffy took off."
Xander approached the court, and said, teasingly, "Yeah, some guy inside gave me the whole scoop on you and Speed Racer."
Riley grinned, and accepted the good natured kidding. "Speed Racer rocks." Riley informed Xander, who grinned at him, and suddenly started finding Riley's Speed Racer obsession oddly endearing.
"Heads up!" Riley tossed Xander the ball. Xander surprised himself by catching it easily.
"Come on, play."
Xander stared at the ball in his hands, a little shocked that Riley was being totally friendly guy to him.
"I'm not in your league, Riley." Xander bounced the ball once and made to pass it back.
"We're just goofing around, nothing serious, come on."
Xander shrugged his shirt off leaving only the T-shirt. He dribbled the ball a few times then looked up at the hoop. He surprised all three of them when he took a shot and made it..
"Nice!" said Graham with a slightly proud smile as he grabbed the rebound.
"You two know each other? Graham, Xander."
The two weren't sure what to do, so they shook hands.
"Hey." "Hey." Both were fighting hard to suppress a grin.
"How about we play 'Defense'?" asked Riley, "two against who ever has the ball, then whoever gets the rebound has the next shot?"
Graham shook his head, "How about me and Xander against you? I'm getting creamed here."
Riley kidded him, "Sure, if ya think it'll take both of you to beat me."
Graham tossed him the ball hard. Riley took it back to the far side of the half court. Graham nodded at Xander who moved up to guard him. Xander realized just how huge Riley was. Riley charged, Xander tried to block him, and instead got pushed back and onto his ass, Riley went up for the shot and made it. Graham moved in on Riley "Easy!"
Riley reached down and helped him up, "You OK, Xand?"
Xander nodded, "Nothing bruised but my ego. Unfortunately, it's used to the battering."
Riley chuckled at that and brushed off Xand's backside, and handed him the ball. Xander took it back, looked at Graham who nodded over to the right. Xand nodded back slightly, he faked right suddenly, catching Riley off-guard, and passed to Graham who put it up, and in. The two high-fived each other, and Graham tossed Riley the ball.
"Have you two played together before?" asked Riley mock accusingly, by way of complement on the play.
"Play." Graham ordered, by way of not answering the question.
This time when Riley moved around Xander, Graham is waiting for him, and Xander moved in the other side, and snatched the ball as Riley moved it away from Graham, he jumped and missed the shot, but Graham grabbed the rebound and the two points.
Another set of high fives. Riley looked at the two. "OK, you two, no more Mr. Nice Guy."
They played for another half an hour or so, Riley actually managing to hold his own against two guys.
Finally, Riley broke it off. "OK, I've had it." He high-fived Xander, "Next time it's you and me against this bozo." He tossed Graham back his ball. Graham bounced it once and did a jump shot. It went in. He pumped his arm, "Yeah!"
Xander was grinning at him, Graham shot him a smile and a look. Xander recognized it as 'that look'. Xander went over and got his shirt off the grass, and tossed it over his shoulder.
"Later Xand!" Riley said over his shoulder as he headed inside. Graham winked at Xander and followed Riley in.
"You two made quite the team out there. Xander has more moves than I thought."
Graham was working hard at suppressing a grin, and failing. He managed a "Yeah." He and Riley slapped hands, and he headed into his room, leaving the door slightly open.
*****
Part 19: Cleaning Up
Graham had pulled off his shirt and shoes and socks, and then his shorts by the time Xander sneaked back into his room, pulling the door closed. He stared at Graham, close to naked, sweat covered, grinning. He swallowed. "First time I've played with a chubb in a while."
Xander blushed. "Same here."
"Kinda noticed, you're wearing boxers, at least I had a jock on."
"I kinda noticed." said Xander looking at the jock Graham was still wearing.
Xander was about to move in on that cue, when there was a knock and Xander quickly slipped behind the door as Riley pushed it open. "Got any shampoo? I'm out."
"Sure," Graham tossed him a bottle from the shelf. Riley caught it one handed.
"Thanks."
Graham nodded.
Riley left, pulling the door shut.
Xander sat on the bed, a bit dejected.
"At least ya didn’t have to hide in the closet." Graham grinned. "Come here."
Xander shook his head, "He'll be back to return the shampoo."
"Yeah … And then the shower'll be free."
Xander looked up at him, eyes twinkling, "I'm liking the way your mind works."
Graham stripped off his jock and tied a towel round his waist, went over to Xander and pulled the T-shirt off of him. Then he leaned down and yanked his shoes and socks off. Then he undid his khakis, unzipping them as he pushed him onto his back. He pulled the pants off and tossed them on the floor. He pulled the boxers off next. He leaned over the now naked Xander, put his hands on either side of his shoulders and kissed him, teasingly. Xander just lay there and let himself be teased.
Graham had to put the towel round his waist again as Riley tried the door handle. Graham jumped up and opened the door.
"Here ya go. Thanks"
"No problem, buddy."
Graham watched Riley go down the hall and into his room.
"Coast's clear."
Xander grabbed a towel, wrapping it round his waist and dashing after Graham to the bathroom. Graham pushed Xander into the stall, turning on the water and kissing him hard. Xander's hands found Graham's shoulders, but Graham was having none of that. He grabbed Xander's wrists and pinned them to the wall above his head. He looked at Xander, Xander grinned at him, and Graham leaned in and kissed Xander as hard as he could.
When they broke, Xander pushed him against the side wall of the shower, the spray hitting Graham's chest. Xander ran his hands over that chest, feeling the hard muscle bombarded by the warm water. He leaned in and licked one nipple and then the other, Graham was moaning and clutching at Xander's head, not controlling him, just holding it.
Graham drew in a sharp intake of breath as Xander made his way down his torso, until he was kneeling in front of him. As the water hit the back of his head, Xander leaned in, and took Graham's hard-on in his mouth, swirling it around, letting some of the torrent of water drip down the shaft and fill his mouth. With his mouth full of warm water, Xander swished Graham's cockhead round in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue. Graham was leaning back, pressing his back against the tile wall, an almost maniacal smile on his face. The water and the tongue and the just wanting this guy so badly was almost overwhelming.
He looked down at Xander, and gently caressed his head and shoulders as he continued to get teased. Graham had never felt anything like that before. "Please .. please" he whispered, and Xander relented, spit the water out, took a breath and took the length of his shaft into his mouth. Graham opened his eyes and looked down at Xander.
He reached down, took hold of Xander under the arms and pulled him up to standing, turning them both around. Graham leaned in, the torrent of water hitting him on the back of the neck, and pinned Xander's biceps to the tile wall as he kissed him, deeply, then moving slowly down, tasting the water as it flowed down his chest, licking one nipple, then the other, running his tongue down to his navel, and then going to his knees, and running his hands over Xander's chest, taking Xanderin his mouth, and slowly, teasingly, ran his tongue round the cockhead.
Xander was moaning softly, letting Graham hold him against the wall, feeling the warm water flow over him, relaxing him, even as Graham's ministrations tensed him. He looked down at the soaking wet head bobbing up and down on his cock.
Riley came back into the bathroom, in his jeans with a towel around his neck, shaving cream and razor in hand, whistling some Backstreet Boys song from the radio. He looked at his face, turning to check out one side then the other, and turned on the tap, wet his hands and began to apply the shaving cream. He then took the razor and slowly began to shave round his left ear.
"Hey Graham!" He yelled over his shoulder. "Wanna go grab some lunch?"
No answer. Riley was kinda surprised that Graham wasn't singing some country song in the shower like he usually did. He continued to shave.
Between the water hitting the top of head, Xander's low moaning and the hands covering his ears as his head got pulled onto Xander's cock, Graham wasn't hearing anything. Besides his attention was elsewhere.
"Graham!" Xander groaned, and let go of his head. "Graham!" he warned him again, but Graham kept at it, becoming even a little more eager as Xander approached climax, pinning Xander against the wall with both hands. Xander tensed up and let out a "Oh, fuck!", as he exploded inside Graham's mouth.
Graham was swallowing when the shower curtain was yanked aside. Xander watched with horror as Riley yelled, "Jesus Fucking Christ! What the *fuck* is going on here?"
For a long moment the only sound was that of the water from the shower.
Graham slowly stood up. He turned off the water. He looked straight at Riley, and said slowly and evenly, "Exactly what it looks like."
Graham pushed past Riley, who stepped back. He grabbed a towel from the hook and tossed it to Xander. grabbing the other one to dry off his face.
Riley just stared at his buddy, jaw dropped, unable to utter anything more than one accusing word. "Graham!"
Graham met his gaze with steel eyes. "You've had sex in this shower before, yourself, Rye. Ease up."
Xander carefully examined the tiles on the floor as he dried off, and then cinched the towel around his waist.
Graham ran his towel roughly through his hair and then wrapped it around his waist, and stood facing Riley, hands on hips, water still dripping down his chest and stomach. Defiant, but not belligerent.
Xander stepped out of the stall. He looked at the two guys staring each other down with what Buffy called 'testosterone poisoning'. "Guys.."
Riley looked at Xander with a flash of anger, "You shut your..." Xander looked down at the floor.
"*Ri*!" Graham stopped him with a sharp loud bark, a warning. Riley's head snapped back to Graham, who said angrily but working hard to stay calm, "You got something to say, you fucking say it to me."
Riley looked at Graham's still fierce eyes. Riley looked down. Graham glanced over at Xander, who looked scared and lost. He sighed, stepping over to put an arm across Xander's shoulder and lead him past Riley and out into the hallway. Facing him, he held his shoulders lightly, sighing, "Thanks for the uh, shower." He forced a smile.
Xander nodded once. Graham leaned over and briefly kissed the towel-clad boy, "Let me talk to Rye, OK?"
Xander nodded, "OK."
"I'll call you after."
Another nod. Xander started to give him a kiss back when he saw Riley standing in the doorway. With a gulp, he headed into Graham's room and started pulling his clothes on.
Graham turned to face Riley. He planted his feet. He looked Riley in the eye, and said softly but forcefully, "You *ever* speak to him again like that and I swear to God I'll clean your clock."
Riley looked down at the floor, slightly embarrassed that he had snapped at Xander like that, but still mainly reeling with surprise and anger. Then the implications of what Graham had just said struck him. "You mean you and Xander are …?"
"Yeah," Graham nodded, jaw set, "… me and Xander are ..."
This needed an explanation, and Riley was gonna get one. Riley stared at Graham, "And just when did you decide to change lifestyles on me?"
"Never."
"Huh?"
"No changes here."
Riley stared at him for a long second. "I can't fucking deal with this!" He turned on his heel, long purposeful strides taking him away from the confrontation and back to his room.
Xander came out dressed, and saw Riley stalking away. "You OK, Graham?"
Graham nodded. "You?" "He scared the shit outta me, but yeah, I'm good."
"Look, I better go talk to him. He always does the stalking off thing when he's pissed off or freaked."
Xand nodded and gave him a fast hug and headed out.
Graham went into his room and hurriedly pulled on sweat pants and a T-shirt and headed down to Riley's room. As he hoped, the door was ajar; Riley hadn't shut him out.
He pushed the door open. Riley was sitting on his bed, staring at the floor. Graham closed the door behind him and pulled the desk chair out, and straddled it, leaning forward against the back of the chair. Riley didn't look up at him. There was a long silence. Riley spoke, "So, what you're telling me is that you're a …" His voice trailed off.
"What? A fag? A poof? A queer? A cock-sucking faggot who likes to take it up the ass?" There was a palpable anger underlying Graham's calm voice.
Riley reacted like he'd been slapped hard. His head snapped up. Yeah, those were the very words going through his mind. His eyes met Graham's. His anger was suddenly mixed with real shame. He couldn't speak.
"Heard'em all before, Ri. More than once. I kinda hoped I'd never hear'em from you, though."
Riley looked back down at the floor, and said softly, "You won't, I promise."
Parts 20,21
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