Making Connections
Title: Making Connections 1 :Illumination
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, take if you want!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections
Summary: A conversation, of sorts, takes place.
Ares was not in the best of moods. A perfectly good battle had been stopped by Hercules, which meant that next year the entire population of several small villages would probably starve to death. Technically that was now Demeter's problem not his but she wasn't going to be happy about it. In fact in all probability she would be pissed as hell and several thousand warriors on march would likely find themselves eating mould. To top it all off he was in no mood to sit on his arse and listen to his Generals whine, something they were getting uncomfortably good at.
So he wasn't really listening, oh he was going through the motions, acknowledging what they had to say for later, but mostly he was just scowling at them. He nodded every once in a while when it seemed appropriate, sometimes gave a brief sneer, stifled the occasional yawn.
He tuned out the whingeing and cast about for something more interesting to occupy the hours he was supposed to be here.
//Great Ares, give me strength and courage-// he gave a short mental groan and cut off that link. The only way Rhesus would find strength and courage would be to grow a foot and put on fifty pounds.
//My Lord Ares my men are at the gates, we will attack at-// 'buy a brain' he thought absently and cut him off too.
//Ares make me-// 'no'
//Give me// 'not a chance'
//I need// 'Aaargh'
//I wish for-// 'What am I a damn genie now!'
//Really, really, really, really sorry about the War you were making.// he stopped dead, blinked, allowed himself a short smile of amusement, Joxer. He glanced at the hairy man knelt before him, funny walk, scar, the name leapt at him, Daedalus. He was still droning on like a lost bee. He sat back, carefully tuned him out even further. Joxer, who told him every single minuscule thing which popped into his head. Everything his daughter did, anything and everything, sometimes he would swing off on a tangent too bizarre for even Ares to follow. Joxer was very probably the only person whose prayers needed concentration, it was strangely addictive.
//I know it was important, I don't know why but I guess it must have been. Hercules probably didn't know but I'm really sorry anyway// 'You and me both Joxer' he didn't bother to conceal the growl of annoyance and there was brief trembling silence in the hall, he waited for the droning to start again.
//I think Xena understood though, she knows about all that stuff, she's fine by the way. She says Argo's in a bad mood though. I'm not sure how a horse gets to be in a bad mood but well she probably knows best// 'Doesn't she always' his mouth drew into a slightly tighter sneer.
//We had breakfast in a tavern, you know the kind with hanging bits outside and those big signs// 'That would be the sign Joxer'
//Xena told me not to touch anything which was weird, cos you usually get told not to touch anything in a shop. Like in case you accidentally break something, I did that a lot.// 'Why am I not surprised'
//Gabrielle doesn't like the atmosphere, she doesn't like drunk people, especially early in the morning// 'Note to self, get Gabrielle drunk sometime, prefferably early'
//She says it smells like animals not people. But some animals they're nicer than people. Horses are good but they don't like me much, they bite me// 'That's because you always smell like apples Joxer, but I have to agree, horses rate over a lot of people'
//Oh and Gabrielle taught me how to defend against a sword thrust today. Which was really nice of her because she didn't have to and I know how impatient she gets with me sometimes. Though she did make me practice a lot// 'She hit you until you got it right Joxer' he allowed himself a short eye roll. Like anyone would draw attention to it, not twice anyway.
//I mean even Xena was impressed and you know how hard it is to impress Xena// 'Frankly Joxer I've given up trying'
//We had to go into a village today, I can't remember the name of it but it had a lot of cows, you'd probably know it.// Ares blinked, the corner of his mouth twitched against his will. He was fairly certain that was a compliment to his omniscience.
//There was some trouble, I think Gabrielle was worried, Xena wasn't worried she's never worried.// 'Well she's so busy screaming she probably forgets to'
//I wanted to help. I mean some people look really worried when I charge in screaming and waving my sword around. I guess that has to count for something// Ares mouth was twitching again, he knew if he let it continue he was going to be sniggering on the damn throne. 'On a scale of surprise combat Joxer, you rate an eight'
//But she just tied me up and left me in the barn, Gabrielle said it was for my own good// 'I'm sure she did'
//I mean I know I'm not really good. I have a problem with...well walking...and umm turning, but I'm trying really, really hard to be a hero// Ares forced his mouth shut tightly, he couldn't stop the short soft noise that escaped through his nose. No one seemed to notice though. 'Harder and more desperately than most Joxer'
//There were only four of them, Xena can take four men easy. What would it have hurt to let me just watch. I could have just waved my sword and looked scary. I wouldn't have tried anything if she'd told me not to// 'Oh but Xena needs the power trip of trussing a grown man up like a chicken'
//I kinda forget who I am when I'm with Xena. I mean she's so amazing I sometimes forget that I'm...not// 'Don't you ever wonder why she surrounds herself with fools and footsoldiers Joxer. She's afraid of not being the queen bee'
//But I mean is it a bad thing to pretend?// 'Only if you get yourself killed'
//So anyway, we saved the villagers, some of them looked pretty strong they might be warriors when they're older// 'Good save Joxer'
//Haha, we're camping by the river now. Xena sent me away to find some fish, she told me to be gone a long time.// 'Oh now that's my subtle daughter'
//Well I did because they're...um...y'know// a wave of purple embarrassment across the link. 'Not quite as dumb as you look are you Joxer?'
//I try not to notice because Gabrielle slaps me if I do// 'Ah yes, the little peace mongerer, or should that be mongrel?'
//I didn't know the fish I brought back was poisonous// Ares twitched on his chair, squirmed around a little. His teeth clacked together hard. He got a few strange looks but a small glare soon got rid of them.
//Gabrielle ate it though, she eats everything. For such a small person she has a really strong stomach. Xena won't eat anything she doesn't like. She'll just pull this face and go hunt rabbit or something// 'Aaah that face'
//So it wasn't really my fault that Gabrielle got sick, but Xena didn't let me have any of the rabbit anyway. They're making me sleep away from the fire tonight, and Gabrielle's cooking breakfast tommorrow// 'They think that's safer?'
//Anyway I better go to sleep now, because if I'm not awake in the morning they'll leave without me. Take care Ares and goodnight// Ares shook his head, smiled. He realised belatedly that thirty men were giving him anxious confused glances in utter quiet. He didn't bother to try and hold the chuckle this time. 'Night Joxer' silence across the link.
Title: Making Connections 2:Connection
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, take if you want!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Sequel to Illumination
Summary: Quite a few conversations take place.
"What if we made them smaller. Do cows come in a standard size?"
Ares peered over the top of his folded hands, ready to grin along with his father. The wizened old coot however appeared to be serious. He blinked, oh no not again. "I think...yes"
Zeus was now nodding, "Hmm, yes, I suppose they would" he realised instantly that his father was having one of his 'lapses' as Hera so politely put it. Ten minutes earlier he had been discussing the small matter of Hercules stopping his war. Now it appeared they were discussing the nature of bovine genetics. He thought it best not to point it out though.
"If they were bigger they could carry supplies"
"I think that's horses father"
Zeus looked surprised "Horses, really, what a good idea"
Ares blinked, just go with it you can come back and talk to him when he's feeling better? "They already exist though" he said quietly.
Zeus appeared crushed "You mean someone thought of them first?"
"I believe so, quite a long time ago actually" a small noise of admiration.
"Clever man"
Ares sighed and rested his chin on his hands. He had the feeling this would be the start of an extraordinarily bad day. To top it all off all this talk of cows was reminding him of Joxer.
---
"You What!" Strife hunkered down into what Ares thought of as his 'cowering position'.
"I just turned my back fer a minute"
"And lost an entire army!"
"They were right there" Ares didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or kill him.
"And then suddenly they were gone?!" Strife was definitely wide-eyed and contrite but the sheer magnitude of his stupidity wasn't helping his case.
"Gone! Four thousand men! Did they fall in a really big hole?!" he couldn't have a heart attack, he reminded himself calmly. It was a physical impossibility. Even if it felt like several parts of him wanted to explode.
"I was watching them I swear and then they were gone"
"Where?"
"Just outside Thebes" Ares ground his teeth
"Athens" Strife blinked, gave a nervous chuckle
"Huh"
"Just outside Athens Strife" he said quietly, then he blinked
"They appear to now be...whats the phrase...RUNNING AMOK!" Strife was gone before the echo died down. Ares clenched the bridge of his nose hard. God's didn't get nosebleeds, he told himself calmly.
---
"Ares!" he stopped mid-stride, attempted to straighten, sagged like an old coat. He really couldn't be bothered with posturing today.
"A word" he turned.
"Demeter"
"I was under the impression a war was supposed to be happening Ares." He felt like laughing, he felt like laughing and blowing up himself and his temple with her in it.
"It will, I'm attempting to pull the armies back together"
"You'll do better than attempt it Ares, you'll do it now" Oh now he was getting an ulcer, only god didn't get ulcers, did they? She was still glaring at him, she was good at that, probably since she'd had so much time to practise.
"Yes Demeter"
"Now!" then since she'd had the last word she turned as majestically as an entire herd of elephants and stormed off.
Ares rolled his head round his neck, took a deep breath. I'm the God of War, he repeated to himself quietly. I'm not going to scream, or kill anyone. I have too much to do for one thing. He relaxed slightly, turned, straight into Cupid. "Oh Dad, can I ask a favour?"
---
Joxer sat down on a short groan, his feet hurt, his legs hurt, his back hurt. His neck and face were burning, probably peeling too. In fact he would be quite happy to collapse and die right here. He had a nasty welt on the side of his jaw where Gabrielle had seen fit to smack him one for tripping her up.
He was thirsty but he had a feeling by the time the skin went from Xena to Gabrielle to him all that it would contain would be warm spit. He shuddered and flopped down into the grass. His back hit something hard, he yelped, rolled.
It was a scroll, it was tied tightly with black ribbon, just lying there on the grass completely out of place. He figured Gabrielle must have dropped it. It didn't look like one of hers though. It was very white, almost shiny. He picked it up, turned it, heavier too. He carefully unrolled it, it wasn't one of Gabrielle's. It was written in neat flowing script, small and perfect. He looked around, frowned Gabrielle was giving Xena a foot massage. They weren't paying any attention to him, he leant into his own lap, started to read.
I am in Tartarus! My father is insane. Him and his talk of cows! Oh most of the time he's fine, most of the time he can stomp around with the best of them, giving orders and sneering majestically. It's when he's not quite himself that everything goes to Tartarus. I spent the entire morning trying to convince him horses had already been invented and he couldn't therefore take the credit for them.
I have better things to do, mother is no help at all. She just leaves him to it like some drooling child. 'Humour him' she says 'he's old' she says. He's (There was some scribbling out here) Well he should know better. It's embarrassing we can't take him anywhere. It's bad enough when he's roaming the corridors at night looking for his father, his father's (more scribbling out, quite furious this time).
If that wasn't bad enough my Nephew is driving me up the wall. If he wasn't so old I'd throw him over my knee in a second. When he's not stealing my things he's breaking them, or scuttling around beside me, or screwing up my entire day. He managed to lose- to lose something really huge, something that was impossible to lose if you have eyes and ears and a brain. The sheer impossibility of losing-this something was well impossible. I could hire a trained goat that would be more diligent. It would probably be better company too. I get the feeling I've actually beaten (a lot more scribbling out but he could just make out the word 'half' and the name 'Hercules'). Then he tells me he didn't actually lose it he just accidentally looked for it in the wrong place!! How am I supposed to get anything done!
My Aunt saw fit to harass me not long after. She's a demanding bitch and she knows how to get things down. She also wouldn't know a smile if it bit her on the arse. She's the coldest, meanest, stingiest old harridan in the entire world. I had to nod and smile at her for two hours. Trying to please her is about as easy as trying to coax a horse into flight, without the aid of a cliff and a hefty push.
Oh but the world hadn't finished screwing me yet. My son decided I had to baby-sit his child, there's nothing more damned annoying than a kid with (one word crossed out so hard the scroll had torn a little) tantrums, spoilt little monster should be looked up until he's at least twenty. Normally I like children, but this one takes after his mother too much for my liking, bitch that she was. Spoilt, ungrateful, disobedient, whiny little monster. He's destroyed my (crossing out) house, it's now a confusing shade of purple and there's water everywhere. My head feels like it's about to explode. He's now asleep and looking harmless so if I complain I'm going to be labeled the bad guy, again.
The scroll ended there, there was a word set at the bottom but that had been crossed out, then written again, then apparently crossed out again. He sat back, rolled the scroll up neatly, someone must have dropped it on the way through, someone important by the feel of the paper. Whoever he was he was having a worse day than Joxer, more interesting too. His own problems didn't seem quite so dire anymore. Though he couldn't help reading it again, then a third time. He wished someone wrote to him like this, just everyday stuff. Then he rolled it up, looked at it briefly and shoved it into his waistband. He could pretend couldn't he.
---
Ares lowered his fingers again, scratched at more of the stubborn purple stuff in his grandsons hair. What the hell was this, jelly? Candy floss? He wasn't going to sniff it and he damn well wasn't going to taste it. The child mumbled something and snorted, purple dust floated upwards. He sighed, and that was when he felt it.
//Ares, I found the strangest thing today// For the first time since breakfast, he smiled.
Title: Making Connections 3: A Beginning
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, take if you want!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Sequel to Connection
Summary: Someone is sending Joxer letters, who could it be?
Joxer was woken up by a bucket of water in the face. Which was, he supposed, a whole lot better than a staff in the gut. When he was absolutely certain he wasn't going to drown he pushed himself upright. Gabrielle it seemed couldn't even be bothered to stick around and insult him this morning and Xena had already packed everything on Argo.
"I'm awake guys" he doubted anyone was listening but it was the sort of thing that was expected of him. He even managed a smile when Xena looked his way, it turned into a grin when she smiled back. That was all he wanted after all, just the occasional sign that he was welcome. He could take everything else if they just smiled at him, occasionally waited for him every once in a while. He blinked yawned, then his head turned of it's own accord.
The scroll had fallen out of his waistband in the night, and he'd been so careful with it all week. His eyes darted to Gabrielle, she didn't appear to have noticed yet. He grabbed it and shoved it back in his trousers, where it clinked against the one already there.
He pulled both scrolls free, stared at them. One was wrinkled, a little discoloured, uneven where it had been unrolled and re-rolled so many times, warm. The other was a pristine white, cold and grassy. He blinked, looked around, it was tied with the same black ribbon. After a long moment he unrolled it, discovered it wasn't actually a single scroll but two together. One was blank and one was covered in the same neat handwriting as before, small, perfect.
"Hey Joxer, you coming" the impatient tone and the look Gabrielle gave him forced him to shove all three scrolls into his trousers and jump to his feet.
"Yeah, I'm coming guys, wait up"
It wasn't until noon, when Gabrielle dragged Xena into the nearest town that Joxer found himself alone. For a minute he simply sat in the grass holding all three scrolls. Carefully he set the first one and the blank one down and unrolled the new scroll.
I really hate one of my brothers, he's younger than me by well forever but he still thinks he knows everything. When my father's not having one of his moments he dotes on him. The youngest ones are always the favourites though aren't they? All the other brothers can't seem to do anything right. Of course when he lapses I'm always his favourite, I'm the youngest then as far as his memory goes. Is that despicable? Wanting your father to be insane because then you'd be his favourite?
Well anyway, I run what you'd call a business, lets call it a 'recruitment service' shall we then I can write about it without covering the damn scroll in splodges of ink. My brother doesn't approve of this recruitment service, in fact he strongly opposes it and makes it known to everyone he meets. He comes to all of the 'meetings' and throws stuff around until I take notice of him, I've long been used to his childish tantrum-like posturings but really sometimes I just want to kill the little (contrary to previous statements there was a furious crossing out here) It was important, damned important and father was all, 'Oh let him have his bluster' and 'he'll calm down later'. Not to mention 'Don't hit your brother hard, you know how fragile he is'.
Four months work!! I'm stuck doing everything over. The only person who's any use here is my nephew, who's still not coming near me after he (More illegible corrections) after he lost that big thing. I can't even find him! I think he's hiding with my son, who always gets suckered into hiding him when I'm on what he calls 'a rampage'. My sister offered, which was more disturbing than anything else since she rarely has anything but her own agenda in mind. The moment I turn my back she'd have a knife in it.
I'm avoiding my son at all costs, my grandson has voiced a desire to be looked after by me more often. I have stated simply and quite heatedly that I would rather have my eyeballs poked out with sharp sticks than be saddled with the creature again. I still have unnamed purple confectionery in my hair.
The other scroll is for you.
Joxer paused, read the last line again, blinked. He read it a third time, it couldn't be him that the person was talking about. The scroll wasn't addressed to anyone in particular though. It couldn't mean him, could it. Yet it had been left out here in the middle of nowhere, right by him. Did this mean the unnamed person was writing to him. Something lurched in his chest. The unnamed person with the odd family and the strangest sense of humour. Someone writing to him, that wasn't possible. He fingered the expensive paper.
What if he just wrote something, this person could afford more paper surely. If he could just pretend that someone was interested. It didn't matter if he never got another one. It wouldn't hurt if he just wrote something and then left it, would it. He stood up, hmmed indecisively for a minute and reached for Gabrielle's bag.
---
Ares turned the scroll over, glared at it, plucked at the ribbon, then set it down. What had he been thinking? It was one thing to be amused by someone's prayers it was another to start writing them letters. Then expecting them to write back. What if the scroll was blank, wouldn't he feel an arse then! Then again to have someone to actually talk to! Someone who has no idea who he was, someone who's wasn't going to grovel around head to the floor, asking him for 'cool' weapons or incredible strength.
Gods he was practically waving a big desperate flag. He picked the scroll up again. What would it hurt though? Joxer didn't know who he was, he'd made sure of that. He pulled on the awkwardly knotted ribbon and the scroll unrolled. In between the splodges of ink there was writing. There was writing on it! In large and shaky, yet careful, handwriting.
Hello,
I found your scrolls, I know they're probably not for me, they were left in the forest by some trees and I just happened to pick them up and read them. I'm Joxer by the way, if you tell me who the scrolls are for I can take them for you. They seemed really important, I don't mind. Or I could bring them back to you? If you tell me your name? I'm just going to leave it here, where I found the second one, ok.
Joxer
He read it twice, fingers itching slightly. He could stop it here, he realised, just roll the damn thing up and forget about it. Yes that would probably be best, Joxer was mortal, how could he possibly understand? Of course that would mean getting rid of the new scroll he had clutched in his other hand.
Title: Making Connections 4: And Twice the Fun
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, take if you want!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Sequel to A Beginning
Summary: Someone is still sending Joxer letters.
"What are you writing?" Ares jumped squashed the scroll and quill against his chest. When he saw who it was he relaxed slightly but didn't move the scroll.
"Dite, gods make a bit more noise" A perfect golden eyebrow was hiked in his direction.
"Been a while since I got the jump on you bro" Ares scowled and tossed the scroll amongst several others.
"I have three times as much work as usual and you're surprised that I'm distracted" she wrinkled her nose.
"Yeah I heard about that" Ares eyes flicked over to the pile of scrolls against his will. His sister, either choosing to be obtuse or not really caring, scowled.
"Hey, focus here, it's not going anywhere" he blinked 'rather like you it seems'.
She took a deep breath folded her arms, glared with surprising heat in his direction.
"Did you tell Cupid that Bliss was a little monster?" 'I really don't have time for this' he pulled a face anyway.
"I may have used the word 'monster' once or twice in reference to him yes" the glare deepened, then abruptly, horribly, sprang into a half-smile. This wasn't good this wasn't good at all.
"What did he do?!"
---
Joxer had never come so close to having a heart attack than he did that morning. When a flash of brilliant white ringed in black greeted his slowly blinking eyes. He could do nothing but stare for a full minute, blinking. He could hear his heartbeat it was so quiet, and he was fairly certain Xena and Gabrielle were still asleep. He'd written back, he'd written back to Joxer's letter. He'd thought it was too messy, was terrified that it would simply be tossed away. Another part of himself had been equally terrified that he might write back. Terrified and hopeful in equal measure.
It was tucked against the bottom of the tree Joxer had curled up under. He realised with sudden and awful instantness that someone had to have put it there, while they were asleep. He didn't think there was anyone who could get past Xena, he turned his head. Sure enough she was still asleep. The existence of the scroll was now a technical impossibility. So maybe it didn't exist at all. He reached out and ran his fingers over it. It definitely felt like it existed, felt very solid.
He gave one last glance across the camp and pulled the ribbon, then he quietly unrolled it. A blank scroll was once again tucked into the new one, he set it aside. The new scroll was addressed to him! His name was at the top in that same careful handwriting. It stood out solid and purposeful. Joxer wasn't exactly a common name, his hands were shaking and he had to wipe them on his trousers. 'Just read the thing' he told himself angrily, so he did.
Joxer
yes the scrolls are for you, is that settled, good. Let's say I've taken an interest in you, what you're doing and so on and leave it at that.
I still have too much work to do, I feel like I'm buried in it. No one will leave me alone long enough to get anything done. That's the problem with having minions, most of the time they're all useless. My brother is harassing me, my Uncle is complaining, which is nothing new, he always finds something to complain about. My father is rarely on the same planet and my mother has turned into some kind of (some more crossing out) she's not fun at the minute. See how delicate this all is, one thing goes wrong and we all fall down like a house of cards, well you haven't been to Chin so you probably won't know what a house of cards is.
My sister is useless, she's in another line of business altogether. This doesn't stop her from dispensing advice and annoying the hell out of me. She never goes away either and she always wants something from my business for her business even though she and her business have no business in my business (Joxer blinked a lot at that) I wouldn't be surprised if (there was a large splodge of ink smeared here, which made a pattern on the lower half of the scroll)
I am going to kill my son, I don't care how many years I raised him, I am going to kill him. He's put a (vicious crossing out) he's drugged all my men because I called his son a monster. He's drugged them and now they're all acting like fourteen year olds. They were supposed to stay where they were and now they're scattered across half the damn country causing havoc. I don't need this I really don't. Where's my damn nephew when I need him. With my damn son probably, well I'm going to find him if I have to drag him out by his ears. No amount of yelling is working. I need him dammit! What the hell do I do?
Dragow
Joxer read it again, then a third time, he was grinning from ear to ear. He couldn't help it, and he did feel sorry for the man. 'Dragow' he reminded himself, the man had a name! He was writing to Joxer, telling him things. Asking for his opinion!? He read the letter again. It was a very angry letter, and it sounded just a little desperate, but it was written to him. Dragow was telling Joxer things, he stroked the paper then stopped when he realised that was stupid.
He wanted Joxer's help, no one had ever asked for his help. In fact most of the time people specifically didn't ask for his help, didn't want his help, didn't want him anywhere near them. Well this was his chance now, and he wasn't going to waste it. As quietly as was physically possible he started crawling over to Gabrielle's bag.
---
Ares sat on his throne for a long time, reading and rereading the scroll clutched in his hand. He made a lot of noises, got quite a few stares, finally he stood up and grinned.
---
"Joxer what on earth are you looking for?" he jumped whirled, one hand clutched to his waist. 'Uh oh, busted' he tried to look harmless, it was probably the one thing he was really, really good at.
"Just Y'know stuff"
"Stuff?" thinking quickly was usually not his style but his brain appeared to be in a good mood.
"Y'know snakes, I think Xena was looking for some earlier" the speed at which Gabrielle looked towards the ground was comical. The expression on her face even more so. He carefully sidled out of her line of sight and went back to searching in the undergrowth. He found it tucked under a rock by the trees. He tore the ribbon getting it open, let the blank scroll drop, peered at a small white package concealed inside, then set it aside.
Joxer
I'm sitting here and I have absolutely nothing to do. How on earth did you know that would work, even I didn't think it would work. I was fully prepared to be laughed out of the place, or locked up. My Aunt is now avoiding me, which is just fine by me. My sister is giving me the strangest looks and my son dragged my nephew home and demanded he 'Do something because Dad has gone insane'. My Uncle did all his own paperwork, didn't bother me once, didn't complain.
I haven't done a thing all day, the biggest surprise happened this afternoon when my mother appeared. She proclaimed I was working to hard and made me cookies, cookies! She hasn't made me cookies since I was ten.
Dragow (cookies!!)
Joxer read it twice, grinning all the while then lifted the white material, unrolled it. Sure enough laying in the centre was one perfect chocolate chip cookie.
Title: Making Connections 5: Interlude
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, take if you want!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Sequel to And Twice the Fun
Summary: Suspicions are aroused concerning Ares odd behaviour
"Hey mom?"
"Shush" Aphrodite snatched a wing and jerked him down to crouch level. She jabbed a finger through the crack of the double doors she was pressed up against. Cupid gave her a look, sighed.
"What are we doing?" whatever it was would now invariably include him.
"Duh! we're spying on your father"
"Oh is that all" Cupid shifted until he could peer through with her.
"Is he laughing again?"
"Yes"
"That's just not right, especially when there's no war"
"I know that! What I want to know is what's on that scroll"
"What scroll" Cupid bumped his mother ungracefully out of the way and peered closer.
True enough his father had a scroll unrolled on his lap. He rolled his eyes.
"The usual probably, men killed, weapons broken, war stuff whatever" Aphrodite applied a shoulder to her sons spine and retook her place.
"Yeah I'm sure that's why he's laughing, what a crack, maybe he should start passing them around."
"Well maybe he's taking a break from being insane, catching up on stuff." they were both quiet for a minute as laughter floated out into the hall.
"I want that scroll"
"Well how exactly do you plan to get it?" they both turned to face each other at the same time.
"Strife!"
---
'Whistle nonchalantly, sidle round the pillar, whistle some more, duck' Ares strode out. Strife blinked, for a second he almost forgot why he was here. Ares was wearing... he shook his head, and people said he had bad taste in clothes. He shook himself, right, scroll get the scroll. The one on the desk that Ares had been reading. Then maybe they could find out why Ares was acting weird. Strife didn't think for a second he'd gone mad. Ares got mad sure but went mad? Not in a gagillion years. He saw the door closing, swore, straightened and shot through the gap before it swung shut. He was left pressed against a pillar like a squashed bug. When he was certain it was quiet he stepped back, tiptoed gingerly over to the desk.
It wasn't hard to miss, it was the only scroll there. The others appeared to have been tossed haphazardly onto the floor. It was also more smeared than the rest. With a quick furtive glance at the doors, he unwrapped the ribbon and pulled the scroll open.
"What the F-!" he blinked, blinked again. The words were still there, the signature at the bottom was still there. Oh this couldn't be right. This was too weird. Without really thinking about it he slid into the chair, laid the scroll on his lap and read it twice.
Dragow,
I'm still in the same village, not a lot happening here, nothing worth mentioning (That's how it mostly goes here) Everyone just assumes traveling with Xena is all fighting bad guys and monsters and stuff but most of it's just walking, itching and overcooked fish.
It sounds like everyone's taking advantage of you. Since you're the boss and everything. You're given all the responsibility, the pressure to make things work and everyone else has just forgotten that. I guess I don't know what that's like cos no one has ever given me responsibility or pressure. Xena just mostly makes me stand around and watch things, pointless things like houses and horses and sometimes food.
Maybe you should try not being responsible for a change. Let someone else take the pressure. Just for a while, so they can maybe see how hard it is. You're the boss after all, you can do whatever you want, whatever you feel like. Xena once said that what you do isn't your life.
I don't usually do this, it's easier because I don't really know you. I'll admit I'm not really smart but I've seen what happens when Xena has too much to do. She just cuts everything off and goes fishing.
I really hope I helped
Joxer
"Well I'll be -" Strife set the scroll down, well that explained the rod at least and the odd hat with what looked like tiny weaponry all over it. He blinked, grinned and shook his head. His hands fluttered over the scroll for a second, then he rolled it up, started to laugh.
---
Aphrodite paced, then paced some more. Cupid had pulled a wing over his head a while ago, complaining she was making him dizzy.
"Where in Tartarus is he?!"
"Mom, it's not exactly a cut and run, give him time" the words were slightly muffled by the feathers. She scowled at where his face would be and continued to pace.
On the reflexes of a woman in anticipation she spun at the first flash and had her hands in Strife's collar before he even fully materialised.
"Well?" Strife made a short choking sound and handed over the scroll. Cupid scrambled out from under his wing and appeared over her shoulder while she yanked it open.
She frowned, then her eyes narrowed.
"Four hundred and twenty men...first of next month...north ridge. What the hell is this?" she whapped Strife on the chest with it. He scowled back.
"The scroll that he was reading, it was the only one on the desk. All the others hadn't even been touched. " Aphrodite sagged gracelessly.
"This is no good" Cupid, who'd lost interest, was now lounging on one of the chairs, arm thrown dramatically over his eyes. "What were you expecting Mom? A declaration of undying love? Poetry?" Aphrodite ignored him, folded her arms tightly.
"I don't know, but something's going on and I wanna know about it" she stamped her foot and flashed out.
Cupid slid his arm down and stood up. Strife was attempting to look nonchalant, bored even.
"Ok what are you hiding?" Strife gaped comically spread his arms.
"Nothing, I did the job you're just naturally suspicious is all." Cupid nodded
"Uh huh" he held a hand out
"Give me the scroll" oh now he was getting glared at.
"Aphrodite took it" Strife folded his arms, went pin straight.
"Just show me what you found on the desk"
"That was on the desk"
"Oh it can't be that bad Strife?" for a fraction of a second his eyes flickered. Then he straightened again.
"I'll get the scroll eventually"
"You wanna try and take it off me?" Cupid gaped
"You're serious" a single nod
"Fine" Cupid straightened, he could do this, no problem.
Exactly fifteen seconds later he was eating temple floor, one on his wings was squashed and there was a knee in the back of his neck.
"What's on the scroll?" he managed to squeak
"It ain't your business"
"Oh but it's yours"
"No it's not mine either"
"So what's the big secret?" Strife's weight shifted, oh gods he could breathe again. He sat up, peered over his shoulder, his cousin was gone.
---
"What do you think?" Zeus held up both pairs of slippers. Hera peered at him from over her tapestry.
"They're both nice dear, but I don't think the bunny ears are you" Zeus raised the offending pair, peered at them.
"I rather like them" Hera chose not to comment as he discarded them, toed them under the bed. He sat on the corner of the bed fingering a completed piece of tapestry.
"It is a good thing for our son isn't it." the needle paused.
"Which one?" Zeus frowned, brow creased slightly.
"The tall one with the beard, blusters a lot" Hera blew out a breath quietly.
"Ares, why?"
"With his new friend, it's good that he has someone to talk to." Hera's gaze slid sideways.
"Who's he talking to?"
"That funny little man, the one that clanks when he walks, most amusing" Hera's brain worked over for a few seconds.
"Joxer?" Zeus smiled
"That's it, Joxer! He's good for him" Hera laid the needle flat, thought of cookies.
"Yes I rather think he is" she took it up again, pushed it through the fabric.
"Do you think they'll get married?" straight into her finger.
"I shouldn't think so" she raised it, sucked on it briefly.
"Though you never know do you. There was a man who married a goat if I recall. That couldn't be much of a marriage couldn't it. Wake up in the middle of the night and find your wife eating the sheets." Hera smiled despite herself.
"No, not much of a marriage" Zeus fidgeted for a minute, picking at invisible fluff on his robe. "I do love you precious, you know that don't you" Hera carefully set the tapestry down.
"I know, I love you too"
Title: Making Connections 6: Discovery
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Sequel to Interlude
Summary: Someone discovers the letters ohhhh
"Joxer?"
"Yeah, I'm coming gimme a minute" Gabrielle scowled, seemed to be debating whether to come over and give him what for.
"Just a sec" he smiled slightly, 'look harmless Joxer'. It must have worked, when he looked next she was gone.
"Trained monkey" he muttered, then giggled and clapped a hand over his mouth.
That was Dragow's influence, he didn't appear to like Gabrielle much. Apparently she reminded him of his Aunt. He liked Xena though, some family resemblance apparently. He leant back against the tree, looked over once more to make sure Gabrielle had gone and yanked the scroll out of his bag. He pulled off the ribbon and unrolled it, jiggling slightly. He loved this moment, the moment when he opened it. Waiting to see how much he'd wrote, who he'd mentioned (usually who he was pissed at this week).
Joxer,
My mother is still stalking me. I can't for the life of me think why. She has enough of her own work to do and she hasn't felt the need to check up on me for...well a long long time. She's not brilliant at the whole stealth thing either. Oh it's not that she's making it obvious, but seriously how does she expect to sneak up on me?
I took my nephew fishing, sigh, his idea. He hasn't quite got the hang of it yet. In fact he's awful, he fell in twice, he also wanted to cheat. But at least he doesn't think I'm insane anymore, unlike my son. He did catch something though, admittedly it turned up inside his shirt when I dragged him out for the second time. He wants to take it home and put it in my mothers pond. I'm not sure she'd be too happy about that.
I've decided I like fishing, it has a certain stalking unseen menace that I find appealing. Also strangely enough sculpture, I'm making a statue. I'm not sure what it's going to be yet. Well actually I was sure until the important bit fell off, so I'm modifying my ideas a little. You should try it, I'm annoying the people next door no end. Which is very satisfying since it's my sister.
What are you doing now? You should be somewhere near Thebes. Gods I hope Xena and her trained monkey don't start anything, I have a lot of work going on in Thebes at the minute. Every time she appears they all want hazard pay! It's too much really, though at least they're working twice as hard now. I threatened to turn them into statues. Which of course wouldn't mean turning them into a block of stone and chipping at them for hours. Though it sounds like a satisfying prospect. You should have seen their faces when I told them all to do what they were told or I'd go fishing and leave them to it.
Dragow
Joxer unrolled the bottom of the scroll and blinked, snorted inelegantly. Right at the bottom in the corner was a small drawing of a man fishing.
---
"Ares-whoah" the chisel stuck in the wall an inch above Strife's head, quivered there. A large chunk of rock hit the floor.
"Shit" Strife looked up, swallowed. Ares brandished the hammer in his other hand, he didn't look happy.
"Look what you did, that was an arm" Strife looked down, frowned. The large chunk of plaster appeared indeed to have had fingers, admittedly only three.
"Unc what are you doing?" Ares glared at the large offensive piece of rock.
"I'm making a statue" Strife was grabbed and tugged round until he was face to face with something which made Medusa look moderately attractive.
"Aaargh" This apparently wasn't the response Ares was looking for. He attempted tact,
"What is it?" Oh now that got a glare of volcano-like magnitude.
"It's supposed to be me" Strife couldn't help it, he broke into hysterics.
"No way...you" that was all he could get out. Ares standing there looking wounded with the hammer balanced on his shoulder didn't help the situation.
"You might wanna tell Joxer to suggest something else" Ares glared some more.
"You think you can do better, fine." Ares yanked the chisel out of the wall.
There was a muffled thud from the other side.
"Ares, will you stop the damn banging or I am so gonna come in there" he set the chisel and the hammer down in Strife's slack hand and folded his arms.
"Hey" Ares gestured towards the rock. Strife stared at it stupidly.
"You have to knock bits off" His nephew held up the tools like they were poisonous snakes.
"Until it looks like you?" Ares nodded. Strife straightened, ahh there was nothing like ego to motivate a youngster.
"Fine I can do this" the chisel went in with a loud smack, Strife hit it. There was a loud resounding crack. Strife backpedalled, Ares snorted, then finally broke into laughter. Strife glared, trying vainly to squash giggles. They both regarded the now totally armless statue.
"Hey it worked for that other chick!" Strife offered, which set them off again.
---
"Joxer?" he dropped Gabrielle's bag and turned, helmet sliding over his eyes.
Xena was leant against Argo, one hand holding the reins the other, he made a small eeeping noise. Curled in Xena's other hand was Dragow's scroll. Joxer's heart stopped, he swallowed hard and tried desperately to remember what Dragow had written in it. She didn't look angry, she looked...anxious. Which was probably better than angry, or amused. Oh he would just die if she thought this was funny.
"Do you know this man Joxer?" he shook his head mutely. One eyebrow raised in his direction.
"You're just writing to him?" another nod. She waved the scroll slowly.
"Is this why you've been sneaking off for the last three months. To send and receive these" Joxer thought about that for a minute, well it was almost true. He probably shouldn't tell her that they appeared from nowhere in the middle of the night. That was the sort of thing guaranteed to freak Xena out. He didn't think he could speak if he wanted to anyway, nodded again. Xena sighed, rerolled the scroll.
"Dragow's obviously a warlord Joxer, be careful what you tell him" she held out the scroll. Joxer blinked, stood there stupidly.
"You're giving it back?" It just popped out of his mouth, he slammed it shut in retaliation and went red.
Xena smiled slightly, "Joxer" she waved the scroll again. "If Dragow was trying to collect information about me, or even you he wouldn't tell you things like this. He wouldn't be talking about his parents. All you have to do is read it, he's not even asking you anything important."
She glanced down at the scroll chuckled.
"He's drawing you pictures" Joxer coloured, scraped a toe through the dirt. "I can't fault you for suggesting bad hobbies either." She held the scroll out again, smiled at him.
"I think he's just lonely Joxer" 'like me' he thought absently, reached a hand out, took the scroll from her. She coughed, tugged on her bodice.
"Oh and stop rifling through Gabrielle's bag for a quill, buy your own at the next town." Joxer nodded desperately.
"I will, thank you Xena"
He still didn't quite believe she was just letting him go. He'd kept it a secret for so long he had convinced himself something awful would happen if anyone found out.
"Joxer?" he froze, oh gods here it came, he turned slowly. The side of Xena's mouth quirked up slightly, hands resting on her hips.
"Trained monkey?"
Title: Making Connections 7: Chain Reaction
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 7 sequel to Discovery
Summary: The letters gain even more followers
Discord cleared her throat. Ares, whose chair had been on full tilt, hit the floor on a gasp, then collapsed into laughter again. Very unmanly snorty laughter. For some bizarre reason he kept saying 'hamster' which only set him off again. He didn't even bother to get up off the floor. Or try and stop laughing. She cleared her throat and stamped her foot.
"What in Tartarus is so amusing" she did her special glare, which was more teeth than eyes. "They were right, you have gone insane"
He actually looked at her then, unfortunately all she got was another choked 'hamster'. Discord, who despised animals at the best of times merely rolled her eyes, for all she knew he thought he was a hamster.
"Oh gods this runs in the family doesn't it! The next thing I know I'm gonna be wearing pink and sashaying about like a fairy." She folded her hands onto her hips. Ares appeared to have recovered and was now attempting to get up. "Oh don't mind me, I have all day" she leant against the desk, folded her arms.
"I suppose a little respect is too much to ask for. I get the laughing fool routine from my brother and my son can't do a thing because he keeps mumbling about toads and leeches and sniggering." This didn't appear to help, it set Ares off again, if anything worse than before. Oh and now he was pointing at her like he found her funny. "Dammit Ares if you don't stop laughing" another bark and she spun, stormed out of the room followed by laughter that would more suit Mania herself.
She stopped a few feet inside her own temple and slammed the door. It would be nice if someone cut her a break once in a while, but oh no she got lumped with everyone else's garbage. Well now we'd see what was going on. Discord carefully extracted the scroll from the waistband of her skirt and unrolled it.
Dragow,
You are not going to believe what happened to me today. Even I can't believe it and I was there! It all started after we left Thebes. We were walking South when Gabrielle kinda made this noise. We didn't take much notice cos it's not exactly unusual for her to walk into a rock or get thwapped by a branch, she's almost as bad as me! Then next thing we know she's running around with her hands in her hair making little eeping noises, you probably would have loved it. Me and Xena actually thought it was quite funny until something kind of flopped into Xena's cleavage. Gods I didn't know where to look. I had to kinda squash my instinctive urge to help. I like my hands right where they are thank you very much.
Xena looks down and kinda glares at it. It was a toad, a big one, and it's kinda flopping there, one back leg squeezed into the gap and Xena's just looking at it. I probably couldn't get much redder, and Gabrielle's still running around. That's when something clangs off my helmet, right of the top. Toads are heavy, I never knew that. It left my head ringing like a gong. They're falling from the sky, tons of them. Xena just kinda says 'It's raining toads' like it happens every day. Then Gabrielle stole my helmet, just yanked it straight off my head and put it on, went to stand under a tree. That's about when the toad knocked me out.
I thought the toads were bad, Gods I wish I'd never woken up. Xena must have dragged me, I can tell cos I have a rock mark from the back of my neck all the way down to the back of my knee. The first thing I see is Gabrielle hurtling towards the river waving my helmet like a shield. She's being chased by a huge black cloud which is buzzing. You have to picture this because there's no way I can describe it properly. I've seen landslides make less of a splash.
Xena figured the bees were Artemis doing but couldn't think of anything she'd done to annoy her. Gabrielle decided we'd walked somewhere we shouldn't and annoyed Pan but Xena said he wasn't a big enough God to be that threatening. The toads didn't seem like Artemis though and she tried to pin that on Discord, who I don't think would be very happy about being accused of toads. I personally thought the bees were Ares cos they're really just like a tiny flying army. Bees seem very warlike, I hope he's not offended by that? Gabrielle at this point said she didn't care if Hera had sent the damn toads and bees and if someone didn't get her out of the lake she was gonna start screaming. So when we finally got Gabrielle out of the lake and picked all the leeches off her, I would definitely blame Bacchus for that if he wasn't dead, we headed back into Thebes.
I still find it amazing how heroes can just yell and gods appear. I wonder if it's just because Hercules and Xena are Demigods. They never look happy about it though. Maybe Xena and Hercules are a bit like those people who go door to door and just knock and knock until you'll do whatever they want as long as they go away. Oh not that I don't love Xena, I do but she can be really persistent.
Where was I? Oh yeah so we're in one of Artemis temples, Xena always knows best see, and the Goddess doesn't look happy. I kinda think she was mad at Xena for being rude. I wanted to kneel but Gabrielle wouldn't let me. I think the leeches put her in a bad mood, well a worse mood. Which is why I didn't feel quite as sorry for what happened later. So Artemis said she didn't do it and when we asked about Discord she got really mad and told us to go away. Said we had no right to assume everything was Eris fault. Gabrielle said 'Well she's the ones that's always causing trouble' So that's why Gabrielle spent the next hour as a hamster I guess she kinda deserved it I mean the Gods just do their jobs right. Also it wasn't my fault she had to stay in my pocket. Xena was afraid she'd get trampled on. I have to stop writing because I'm running out of room, I'll tell you the rest next time.
Joxer
Discord carefully lowered the scroll, chuckled, so that's why Ares was acting like someone had replaced his brain. She scowled at the signature again. Joxer? The skinny one who clanked when he walked? No way, she'd always thought that guy was a waste of skin. The little weirdo was sticking up for her, kinda. She reread the paragraph about Artemis. Why was she so boned about her being bad mouthed anyway. Tartarus she was used to it by now. It was where she got her warm fuzzy side from. Well this could be interesting, maybe she should have a little chat with Artie? She smiled, with a wave of her hand she sent the scroll back to Ares desk. Then she straightened her bodice and went hunting.
---
"Mom" Cupid waved a hand in front of his mothers face.
"Mom? Aphrodite continued to stare into space.
"Er Mom, hello, Olympus to Aphrodite!" Aphrodite shook herself, turned to Cupid with a frown that threatened wrinkles in the near future.
"I just saw Discord" Cupid unwittingly copied his mothers frown.
"What did she do?" Aphrodite picked nervously at her pink robe.
"She smiled at me"
---
Joxer patted his head miserably, unfortunately his helmet was still at the bottom of the river. He hadn't wanted to brave the leeches to go in and fetch it. He doubted he'd be able to find it anyway. Gabrielle's splashing had been very thorough and it had probably washed a million miles away by now. He glanced across at her, she was huddled next to the fire, arms wrapped round her knees mumbling quietly to herself. Even Xena was giving her strange looks. It might have had something to do with the apple she had tried to cram into her mouth earlier. Xena had had to hug her from behind really hard and then sort of jerk upwards. That was why the fire spat occasionally and smelt of apples.
He stood up, waved vaguely towards the trees.
"I'm gonna..." Xena nodded and waved slowly. He ambled off into the darkness. Gods anything to get away from them before Gabrielle tried to hibernate again. He'd survived today quite well, if you discounted being hit on the head by a falling toad. He went all the way down to the bank and stared forlornly at the water. Right up until his helmet, glinting in the moonlight, drifted by. With a startled cry of shocked relief, he fell into the water after it.
Title: Making Connections 8 : Business as Usual?
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 8 sequel to Chain Reaction
Summary: The circle of Influence widens and things continue pretty much as they do.
"Right everyone, this meeting is now open" Zeus settled himself into his chair, looking uncannily majestic in his robe and bunny slippers. Hera seated herself beside him demurely.
"Right first order of business..." Zeus shuffled the papers in front of him, shuffled them some more. There was a soft thud and Ares saw Hera's elbow slide back against her body.
"First order of business" Zeus stopped shuffling the papers, looked up, squinted at Athena. There was silence for several minutes. Finally his daughter sighed, rolled her eyes.
"Athena"
Zeus nodded "Yes Athena, I know that, mind wanders a little that's all" the papers went through another round of shuffling.
"Just making sure, just making sure"
Ares looked across at his mother, she gave a very small shrug and a faint smile. Ah, so his father wouldn't be remembering him anytime shortly. Ares slid slightly lower, unrolled the scroll he held and started writing on it under the desk.
Joxer,
I am using the circus loosely described as a counsel meeting to write this. My father has forgotten who I am again. So I'll be pretty much ignored for the next two hours. My brother is attempting the 'oops I've dropped my pen' ploy to try and look up his sisters skirt. That was old when I was born. Then again subtlety was never his strong point. I'll be ignored until someone mentions-
"Ares" Hera's voice jolted him out of his scribbling. It took him a moment to realise that she wasn't talking to him, merely reminding Zeus, his name, who he was, why he was here.
"Ah of course Ares" his Father blinked, looked slightly unnerved.
Hera leant in and hissed "War"
Zeus pulled face, whispered back. "Really? You'd think some great hulking brute with scars and such would get that job?"
Athena was pointedly laughing into her hand, Aphrodite was picking at something on the table but her mouth told him she was just itching to snigger.
"Hmmph well I'll get around to you in a minute" he glanced sideways. "We will get around to him in a minute won't we?" Hera nodded.
"Right who's next, ah yes Aphrodite." he peered closer. "My it's a wonder you're not shivering young lady" Zeus chuffed, looked around the table.
"You! Yes you in the cape, fetch Aphrodite a jacket, yes you, don't point I know who you are...well go on, quickly" Hera was picking at the corner of her dress, lips twitching. There was utter silence and a lot of eyes wandering as one chair scraped backwards.
Ares, who was used to this, simply lifted his knee and started writing again.
-Damn and I thought I had at least an hour. Then again if he's in one of his moods the conversation I just witnessed is going to happen again in about twenty minutes. It's like some freakish time loop. My mother schedules three and a half hours for a forty minute meeting. At least he remembered to dress this time. Gods nobody knew where to look until my Mother provided him with some clothes. Well at least my son has stopped harassing me, though he is very quiet, I think he's up to something-
---
Cupid sidled into Ares main temple, which was easier said than done when you had wings. Using stealth tactics which had mostly got him out of rooms rather than in he stepped carefully onto the central carpet, and stared. He was going to get to the bottom of this. Dad was not himself, he wasn't even someone else. Besides Mom had told him to go snooping or else. He was used to his Father's rooms being almost bare. A few weapons on the wall, some gory tapestries and a single plain throne, though admittedly with comfy padded arms. This...This was like walking into someone's life.
The walls now had scrolls tacked all over them, even over some of the tapestries. A closer look revealed everything from different types of axe to what looked like plans for a new fishing rod? A few of them were even coloured in and then signed 'Bliss' in red crayon. His eyebrows crept higher as he explored. There was an unfinished statue in the corner which appeared to be some kind of hideous armless monster. It was wearing what looked suspiciously like one of Hera's dresses. The Throne was now a huge chair almost big enough to fit two, done in purple and black leather with little sheathes which were full of knives, scrolls and he picked it up sniffed it, liquorice?
The desk was cluttered with yet more scrolls and some ornamental knives. Though some of the knives had pornographic handles which invited baffled scrutiny. They had to be Strife's. A full set of fishing equipment leant against one wall. The line tangled round a rack of swords rendering them, he suspected, a permanent fixture.
A second table held a plate of fruit, one large hammer and chisel. Several tiny balls and a scroll entitled 'Needlepoint in ten easy steps' Though Ares had scrawled underneath 'How to take someone's eye out in one easy step'. Strife had done a rather gruesome drawing of this underneath. In fact the needles that had come with the scroll had been used to make disfigured faces out of several oranges on the platter.
Cupid stood there for a long moment staring around. It hit him suddenly and completely. There was nothing wrong with his Father. Never in his entire life had he been in a room which was so completely and totally Ares. It even smelt like him, it was one of the most comfortable places he had ever been. He went back over to the desk and started unrolling several scrolls. There were a lot, mostly war plans, maps, complements of men. He looked up and his eye was caught by the scrolls tucked in the throne. Smaller, tied with black ribbon.
After a brief twitch of indecision he pulled one free and unrolled it. His eyebrows gradually hiked up to his hairline.
"Oh you have to be kidding" his eyes flickered downwards. "I guess not" He turned the scroll over, peered inside the wooden ends. It wasn't bogus. He read it more carefully. "Well I'll be-"
"Busted!"
The scroll, and several others went flying, Cupid almost did as well. Until his shoulder was grabbed and he was spun around. To be honest he was expecting Strife, or his Father.
"Discord?!" she grinned, then saw what was still mostly attached to him, yanked it free.
"Gimme that, you're not supposed to be in here" she shoved the scroll shut. "You are so screwed Cupid"
"This is amazing?" completely thrown off track, since Cupid should really have been cringing and apologising about now, Discord was lost for words.
"Huh?"
"Have you seen this room? This is incredible."
Discord was not happy about being grabbed she was even less happy about being jiggled about like some free show.
"What? Let go of me!" Cupid did, she made a short surprised noise when her feet hit the floor, she hadn't realised they'd got airborne. Stared after him as he wandered over to the statue.
"Have you seen this?" Another dash brought him to the desk, "And this, Gods It's like Dad-"
"Got a life" Cupid scowled
"No...well ok yes"
He got close again and she stuck a finger out.
"Don't you touch me, you freak" he didn't appear to be listening.
"My father's been going fishing, and well it looks like sculpting, he's been doing things." Cupid spread his arms, Discord dodged a wing extension. "This is great!"
"Ok" Discord was seriously considering just leaving him to it.
"Joxer did this? This is the weirdest moment of my entire life without a doubt" Discord backed away.
"Well there's a thing, mine too"
"Mom would freak" Discord stuck a hand out, grabbed a flailing arm.
"She isn't part of the party" Cupid choked a laugh.
"Are you kidding, she'd want to be 'involved'" Discord, who felt like she was losing it, gave up.
"Yeah whatever, don't tell your Mom, get out of here" She was fully unprepared to be enfolded in a mass of mostly nakedness. She was even less prepared to be spun around, then set down and kissed on the cheek. The feathers were still settling when she realised she was alone. She was too shocked to even muster a good scowl.
Title: Making Connections 9 : Help Wanted
Author: Corona
Rating: PG-13 (for a naughty word/ Innuendo)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: none
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 9 sequel to Business as Usual
Summary: Joxer gets smart,Discord gets paranoid and Cupid gets punished.
Joxer stopped in the middle of the street, peered down at the scroll, read quietly for a minute then turned right. He stopped again outside a house, glanced behind him. Then he took a deep breath knocked, the door swung open with an ancient creaking noise. A face appeared in the gap, Joxer swallowed and smiled. A toothless face smiled back.
"Er hello, I'm wondering if you can help me" the woman? squinted at him.
"What do you want?" Joxer fiddled with his helmet, which he'd taken off and clasped to his chest.
"I want to know about old people, ones which get confused, forgetful" a nod, one eye rolled and the door creaked open further.
"Help you I can, come in"
---
"Where's Joxer?" Gabrielle pulled off a boot and scowled at some fraying on the sole. Xena who was looking up the street shrugged.
"He went over there somewhere"
Gabrielle sighed "Well if he doesn't hurry up we'll go without him"
"He'll be here"
"If he can find his way back" She yanked her boot back on, licked her finger and started polishing the toes.
"He's been with us forever, when are we gonna ditch him" Xena gave her a reproving look, to which she huffed.
"Yeah, yeah, I know"
After a minute Gabrielle sighed, "What is he doing?"
Xena shrugged again
"You're quiet?" Gabrielle looked up, Xena was focused on a shop sign. It read 'Aenxia' and it looked like a perfumery, she chuckled.
"Maybe you should go buy something" Xena didn't appear to be listening, though she was frowning in concentration.
"Xena?" the warrior princess shook herself.
"What? Sorry, I was thinking."
"Oh here he is finally" Gabrielle straightened, Xena waited until Joxer was closer. His face was screwed up in concentration.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Joxer nodded slowly, staring into space.
"I think I did"
---
Dear Artemis-
Eris scowled and scribbled that out.
Artemis-
That worked, simple, yet effective, oh but now there was scribbling out on it, which made her look totally stupid. She snarled and tore it into tiny pieces, flashed another scroll.
Artemis-
She chewed the quill for a minute, staring at the word as if inspiration was hiding in it, then wrote.
I was wondering-
Aaargh that had to go, she tore that one up as well, paper flying everywhere. The Goddess of Discord did not wonder! How much of a complete idiot would that make her! Way to tell her you can't even tie your own bootlaces. Right third new scroll.
Artemis,
Someone told me
Oh yeah, that was gonna work, made her sound about five years old. He told me this and then she said it wasn't true. Get a grip Eris! This one got scrunched up and tossed across the room. She growled and yanked open another scroll.
Artemis
Great, now she was right back to where she'd started. There was so much whiteness, great chunks of it. There was absolutely nothing she could write that wouldn't make her look stupid. Besides, what in Tartarus was she doing?! She growled, flopped down on her belly, screw it.
Artemis,
So why in Tartarus were you sticking up for me Hmm? I didn't even think you knew I existed. Was it just an impulsive thing, cos hey I understand those, I get impulsive all the time. It's my nature you know but I'm damned if I can be impulsive about you-
Was that too many impulsives? Her hands went to the top of the scroll, then she sighed and slid her quill back down.
-So now I'm sitting here writing a damn scroll like Joxer. How mortal is that, because I can't for the life of me think how to start to talk to you. I went looking for you once and chickened out. Discord chickened out, you'd probably laugh your arse off about that. Hey you'll probably never even read this so what do you care huh? I just wanna know Artemis, do you even give a damn that I'm writing this?
Eris gave a short strangled yell and scrunched the letter up, hurled it across the room until it slid behind a display of ornamental chains. Then her head thudded back against the headboard.
"Shit!"
---
"Sit still!" Cupid sighed and straightened again.
"I have an itch"
"You're a god you don't get itches" Strife snapped, "Now quit wiggling" there was a pause, then the steady tink tink tink continued.
Cupid fought the urge to scratch his nose again. He didn't care what Strife said. He did have a damn itch.
"Can I move yet?"
"No, or your nose will be all wrong" Cupid scowled, he didn't appear to have much faith in Strife rendering an accurate representation of him in stone.
"Remind me why I'm here again?" Strife peered over what Cupid assumed was a shoulder, snorted. Ares who was reading in his chair cleared his throat.
"To remind you that snooping round my things is bad" Cupid glared at his father.
"Oh angry face, angry's good, hold it" Cupid rolled his eyes and dropped the face.
"Dad, I've been here hours. I'm going numb, everything I own is completely stiff" Strife appeared back over the shoulder, one eyebrow hiked high.
"Everything?" Cupid scowled again, then abruptly stopped when the tapping noises continued rather hurriedly.
"How much longer?" Ares rolled his eyes
"Strife has he learnt his lesson?" Cupid turned his pleading eyes on Strife, he even pouted.
Strife giggled "I dunno, he's wiggling about an awful lot" Cupid shifted, provoking a glare from Strife and another throat-clearing noise from Ares.
"He was snooping too, how come he doesn't get punished!" Strife rubbed a hand across his face, covering his nose with plaster dust.
"I went fishing"
"You took him fishing! That's fun, this isn't fun!" Ares peered over his scroll
"Cupid you're whining"
"Dad I've been here hours!" Ares cleared his throat.
"Well if you feel hard done by there's always the needlepoint" Cupid's face went utterly blank, then he sighed and sat up a little straighter.
---
When Ares was finally alone, he tapped the scroll again his desk, then he carefully rolled it up and frowned. Then he unrolled it, read it again, then he growled and stuffed it into his vest. Could it really hurt? He sighed softly, it wasn't like he could make it any worse. A burst of light took him somewhere else entirely.
He raised a hand, knocked, the doors swung open. His mother smiled at him, she looked tired, she always looked tired.
"Ares, what brings you here?"
"I want to talk to Father"
Title: Making Connections 10 : Second Interlude
Author: Corona
Rating: PG?
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Hmm none really.
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 10 sequel to Help Wanted
Summary: Planning, anxiety, resolution and some serious downtime.
Discord raised a hand, lowered it, growled, raised it again. Then it shot back down to her thigh. This was stupid and if anyone caught her here she was screwed. She glared at the wood. The plaque on it now read 'Artemis' in big shiny characters. She glared at them as well.
"Grow a spine!" she snapped to herself. She raised her hand made a fist, the door swung open and she got a face full of prickly feathers. A startled noise and Artemis unwound her quiver from Discords hair.
"Eris, I'm sorry. I was just going to throw them outside the door" Artemis hugged them to her chest, looked contrite. "I didn't see you" Discord opened and closed her mouth a few times, she knew the second she caught a clue she was going to brain herself. "Did you want something?" more gaping, a tiny strangled noise.
"Nah, I was just passing when you decided to throw stuff at me" she was scowling before she could stop herself.
Artemis, looked contrite, shuffled the quiver up slightly higher.
"Sorry" she backed up, closed the door slowly.
Eris watched it shut, then squeaked, slumped against the nearest wall.
"You stupid-" she smacked her head against the wall. "Bitch"
---
Hera slid onto the stool in front of her vanity table and carefully removed the feathered pins from her hair. Auburn curls streamed down her back, she lifted the brush, peered over her shoulder at her husband. He was opening all the doors, looking inside, then shutting them and attaching small metal discs to them. She frowned, rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"Zeus what are you doing?" he jumped, looked at her, fidgeted.
"I'm putting signs on the doors" Hera raised an eyebrow, true enough the one he'd just attached read 'bathroom'. Hera blinked, tilted her head.
"Why?"
"Hmm well, forgetful sometimes, very disharmonious, embarrassing even. Ares suggested it, little scamp" Hera cupped a hand over her mouth, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Zeus came over slowly and sat next to her, took her hand and squeezed it.
"The children are doing it too, That boy's very good at getting things done" he fidgeted.
"We have good children, don't we precious?" Hera nodded.
"Yes Zeus we do"
"When they stay in my head Hera, they're my everything. Then there's you, who still puts up with me, even when I forget you" she squeezed his hand, then picked up one of the small metal discs. She wrote on it briefly, then pinned it where her diamond brooch usually sat. Zeus gave her a soft smile. The small grey disc read 'Hera, Wife'.
"You are my 'only' wife precious, even when I forget a little, you'll always be my wife"
---
Strife chewed a nail, peered over Ares shoulder. Read through what he'd written on the scroll.
"What have you got for Apollo?" Ares prodded halfway down the scroll.
"Shiny"
"No, no, that could just as easily be Artie" Ares scowled and scratched out what he'd just put down.
"Change shiny to 'teeth'" Ares made a small noise and complied. They both read through it in silence.
"Athena?" Strife mock shuddered.
"Lemony?" Ares raised an eyebrow
"That's not helpful"
"How about cobwebs?" Ares chuckled.
"Not a picture he'd want in his head"
The scroll laying on Ares lap was another of Joxer's ideas, and it was so obvious Ares wondered why no one else had thought of it. It was simply titled. 'Zeus, people you're related to, what they do and how to recognise them' Strife had suggested a snappier title but Ares had pointed out that it lacked tact.
"What have you put for me?"
"Safety pins" Strife squinted down at the scroll, snorted.
"Kinky"
"Well I'm Leather/beard"
"Leather slash beard?" Ares gave him a look and he raised his hands lips wobbling.
"I didn't say nothing" they both turned back to the scroll.
"A lot of these ain't very flattering"
Ares sighed "But they're accurate?"
Strife giggled "Tartarus yeah!"
Ares tapped the quill on the paper. "Who's next?"
"Aphrodite?" they both chuckled, faced each other at the same time.
"Breasts"
---
Discord jiggled in a manner which she was certain she'd never done before. It was bad enough the first time she was here. Now she was pretty sure she would technically come under the heading 'stalker'. That damn plaque was laughing at her, she was sure of it. It was the most offensive plaque she'd ever seen. She was tempted to rip it off the wall, only it had Artemis name on it. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. 'This is not happening to me' I'm supposed to be Discord and I'm about to have a panic attack.' Her hand stretched out vaguely. Maybe Artemis wasn't even there, she leant closer, pressed her ear to the door. She couldn't hear anything. She stared down at the crumpled scroll clutched in her hand.
What on earth did she have this for. She'd screwed the bloody thing up and thrown it away. Now it was just a crumpled mess of paper in her hand. It was menacing her, she was Discord and she was being menaced by paper. She gave a short nervous giggle. 'It's in your hand Discord, you have control of it'. She stared, what the-? She was giving herself fear management classes! On a fit of total annoyance she thumped the door, hard.
She didn't actually expect it to open. If she'd known it would open she'd never have done it. Artemis stood there looking surprised, though probably not half as surprised as her. She made a soft noise, then cleared her throat.
"Eris?"
"Artemis" the scroll jiggled in her hand, totally against her will bringing itself to everyone's attention. Discord scowled at it, then thrust it at Artemis. "Here"
Artemis took it, looked at it, lifted a quizzical eyebrow.
"I have to go now" Discord offered and gave a short squeak before flashing herself away.
---
Aphrodite stamped into the room, spun and sat at her table, glowering in a cloud of her own perfume.
"No one is telling me anything, They don't think I can keep my mouth shut or something. That is so like Ares! Don't tell Aphrodite important stuff. Now my sons avoiding me, because he knows as well. He always avoids me when he knows things because he can't lie to me. Oh I could just explode" She picked up a powder puff, gesticulating angrily with it.
"Strife told him, Strife tells him everything and he's all secretive, which is just...wrong on so many levels. Ares is doing things, man things, and he keeps banging something in there. Not in a good way either. Discord keeps smiling at me, do you know what it's like to have Discord smile at me. It's the freakiest thing, like someone stole her brain or something, and yeah I know eww but it's the only explanation. I mean either that or she's in-" Aphrodite's eyes bugged. "No way!" she blinked in a startled manner then flashed away. The powder puff hit the marble, bounced gently, made little swirly white patterns.
Hephaestus blinked, gazed around briefly. Then looked at the list he'd been making of 'Things to do'. He wrote carefully but awkwardly.
Number 134: Make Aphrodite take a holiday.
Number 135: Ask people to tell me what in Tartarus is going on more often.
Title: Making Connections 11 : Finally
Author: Corona
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Hmm none really.
Warning: None this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 11 sequel to Second Interlude
Summary: Someone asks for a meeting, which is accepted. Ooooh seriousness.
Joxer read the scroll again in the dim light of the tavern. His hands were shaking, damned hands, he didn't have the greatest coordination at the best of times but this was ridiculous. Maybe he wasn't reading it right, maybe he was hallucinating. He shook his head and read it again. Nope there it was in black and white, clear as crystal. He didn't know whether to be exhilarated or terrified.
Joxer,
My father remembered my name, he actually remembered me. He came to my room and said my name and just stood there talking to me for a while. I spent all morning grinning like a fool. Even my mother is smiling, I showed her my statue. She liked it, she actually liked it, well ok she laughed. But it wasn't a scary flashing eyed laugh. She wasn't even mad about it wearing her dress!
My father hugged my eldest sister and called her poppet! Can you imagine, she promptly burst into tears. My sister, bursting into tears. Oh Joxer you wouldn't believe it if you'd seen it. It was you Joxer, everything you said, all of it worked. You cannot imagine how grateful I am. So much of my family want to meet you it's unbelievable.
This place is a madhouse. They're throwing a party for him. Gods if he remembers to come it may just be the biggest thing ever.
I really wish you could come. In fact Tartarus, I want you to meet me. Noon by the river, the bendy bit where the tree's fallen in. Please be there.
Dragow.
Joxer rolled it up, then stood, he needed to talk to Xena. "Joxer!" he stopped and turned round. Gabrielle, brandishing her staff like some holy icon, stomped towards him. Joxer made a noise as soon as she got close and grabbed it.
"Gabby look I really don't have time for you to hit me and me to complain right now, so lets just not, ok" he let it go abruptly and made his way to the door. Leaving her staring after him, startled and furious.
---
"How do I look?" Strife peered round his half-finished statue, cocked an eyebrow.
"Fine" he shrugged
"Ya look like the God O' War" Ares sagged slightly
"Which is guaranteed to scare the crap outta him" Strife clicked. Ares scowled. Cupid, who as usual lately was busy being very still, piped up.
"Well if you're not going in disguise you'll be the God of War whatever you wear" this comment didn't appear to be what Ares wanted to hear.
He stomped the entire length of the room and looked in the mirror.
"I'm not wearing a disguise, I haven't lied to Joxer yet, not as such anyway, and I don't intend to start." he frowned
"Besides friends don't lie to each other" he completely missed the grins exchanged between his son and his nephew.
"It's not done"
"Look just don't do anything major, no yelling or looking menacing and Joxer will deal, he's cool." Cupid nodded, then stopped when Strife growled.
"Don't screw this up Dad"
"Yeah and when he's stopped spazzing you gotta promise to get him to the party!" Ares laughed, turned around and grinned.
"How can I not when everyone wants him there!"
Cupid made a small urgent noise.
"What if he doesn't show?" Ares looked horrified, as if the prospect of being stood up had never occurred to him.
"You think he might not come?" Ares pulled a face.
"I'm gonna go see what he's doing" with that he flashed away.
"Is it me or is he nervous?"
"He's nervous" Cupid said without turning his head.
"This is gonna be so cool" Strife spun the chisel he held and chuckled.
"If Joxer doesn't run a mile, Dad scares the hell out of him on a good day"
"Ha, well I'm betting any money Jox is gonna be horizontal the moment he appears" Cupid gave him a look, a very odd sideways look.
"Oh get ya mind outta the gutter, and I thought I was bad"
---
Joxer stood on the path. He wasn't really walking anywhere in particular, but if he happened to stray near the river then that was perfectly alright. Xena had wanted to come with him. He understood, and was grateful for, the sentiment, but this was something he wanted to do by himself. If he did happen to be by the felled tree at noon, well that was just destiny. To be honest he was terrified. The jubilation had long worn off leaving him in deep anxious waters.
Who wouldn't be disappointed in him. He'd left the helmet with Xena. He would've changed clothes but these were the only ones he had. He didn't know why he was worrying because he wasn't going to meet him. Nope, not going to meet him. He couldn't stand for Dragow to laugh at him. That would rank right up there with 'worse things that have ever happened to me'. He stopped abruptly, but if he didn't meet Dragow would he ever write to him again?
---
Ares felt bad about stalking Joxer. He felt even worse doing in from three feet away. Though he was determined not to go in Joxer's head. He figured that was rude. He was thinking mortal thoughts again but he didn't much care, and he was jiggling. He stumbled into a tree root and groaned. Oh this was too much, nervous and clumsy, maybe Joxer's nerves were rubbing off just a little.
He couldn't show up yet though. They weren't even close to the river. He couldn't stop grinning. Not a 'I'm about to kick Hercules arse' grin, or even a 'My daughters done something I'm proud of' grin. It was just a grin and that was the best bit. Suddenly the strangest thought popped into his head. 'What if he doesn't like me?' Ares stopped dead, stared. He'd never had to worry about that before, he was a God! People liking him didn't really come high on his list of worries.
The very thought that Joxer might possibly not like him was too awful to think about. He couldn't even remember if Joxer had liked him before. Sure Joxer prayed to him and everything but that didn't mean he liked him. He was a God that was what people did. Oh now he was confused and paranoid.
---
Joxer took a deep breath and sat down on the bendy tree root. Half of it had fallen in the water and now something lived in it. Brown scrabbling things Joxer had never really wanted to investigate further. He looked over the river, he guessed he'd been here about twenty seconds. No one had shown up yet. He couldn't see much past the trees, about thirty feet. Which didn't give him a lot of time. Maybe he should have bought something new to wear after all? He probably looked like an utter fool. Even more so than usual.
He was so busy being disgusted with himself that he almost had a heart attack when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He froze went rigid, then turned around.
"Oh" oh brilliant now Ares was just appearing out of nowhere to scare him into an early grave. He frowned, Ares looked...odd. He opened and closed his mouth a few times.
"Xena's over-" Ares shook his head. Joxer blinked, frowned. That was when it hit him.
"You're...you're...not?" Ares nodded, Joxer fainted.
Title: Making Connections 12 : Revelations
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Hmm none really.
Warning: Er, none yet this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 12 sequel to Finally
Summary: It's time for Ares and Joxer to finally talk.
"Joxer?" someone was calling his name. Oh but he didn't want to open his eyes yet, bad things happened when he opened his eyes. Against his better judgement he opened them, squinted. A face swam into focus, he jerked backwards, smashed his head into the wall, lurched forward again clutching it groaning.
"Oh God!" he peered in front of him again.
"Are you going to pass out again?" Joxer stammered for a minute, swallowed, tried again. "No but I might be sick if my head doesn't stop rattling" but then it did.
"Oh it's ok, it's gone now." He made a small noise
"It was you! Oh Gods all the letters were from you!" Joxer clapped a hand to his head again. Ares nodded, he looked, nervous, he was fidgeting. Joxer didn't think he would ever see Ares fidget.
"They just appeared from nowhere but I never thought for a second..." he looked up. "Why would you send me letters?" he didn't have a clue what was going on. Ares had sent him letters
It came to him quite suddenly that they weren't in the forest anymore. His eyes floated around of their own accord.
"Umm"
"My Temple" Ares offered, Joxer frowned again.
"In Thrace?" Ares chuckled oddly.
"No my home Temple" Joxer's face scrunched up.
"On Olympus" he added. Joxer wobbled, but managed by enormous willpower not to faint again.
"Oh" he offered quietly, then when that didn't seem like enough added. "It's nice."
Ares shrugged and Joxer was too stunned to protest when a hand looped under his armpit and helped him to his feet. That was when Joxer got a full view of the room, and the corridors and the panoramic visual majesty from the window.
"Wow, ok make that very nice" he looked away from the window and his eyes were caught by something in the corner. It was an enormous stone monstrosity with no arms and it was wearing a dress.
He gasped, "Oh Gods" he made a choked noise and sat back down on the bed. "It was true" he gasped, stared at Ares through blurred eyes.
"Everything you wrote was true"
Ares frowned and sat down beside him. "Of course it was true" Joxer sniffed
"I thought it was some horrible joke on me" Ares face fell.
"Joxer, I've been cruel in my life but never that twisted" he shrugged
"It was true, all of it, everything." Joxer sat there stunned. It was all true, but it wasn't some old warlord it was Ares God of War. He knew things that nobody else in the world could possibly know about the God of War.
"I have to sit down"
"You are sitting down"
"Ok" he sat there for a minute, then
"Why me?" he asked quietly, because that was the burning question. Why in Tartarus would anyone pick him, especially a God. Ares grinned, shrugged.
"You made me laugh, no one had done that in a long time" he stood up and gestured at the room.
"You also gave me things to do, someone to complain to, someone I wasn't related to, someone who wasn't involved in all this. Tartarus I'm even closer to my children because of you." a chuckle, then Ares face drew in slightly.
"And you gave me my father back" Joxer gaped.
"Oh Gods of course, I never realised...Oh my I know who the people in your letters are." Ares burst out laughing at Joxer's look of utter shock.
"I'll give you a minute to digest that" Joxer frowned.
"Who's temple fell apart when you redecorated?" Ares shifted, snorted
"Athena's" Joxer slapped a hand over his mouth. "No wonder she was pissed, because she was there first. Oh and when your mother just walked by and did the bug eye thing before-" Joxer stopped abruptly when he realised exactly who he was talking about. Ares was already sniggering, he waved a hand dismissively.
"She said 'I told you what would happen if you stamped your foot one more time Athena'" Joxer tried not to laugh, he really did. This was so unreal.
"I couldn't leave my temple for a week, I had to pretend I was fishing"
Joxer burst into outright laughter and nearly slithered off the bed. He muffled it desperately. Ares stood up suddenly, tugging Joxer with him.
"Come on"
---
"It's...It's..." Ares looked almost innocently eager. To be honest Joxer was confused. Ares had spent an hour dragging him round the entire temple showing him practically everything. Statues (mostly awful), fish (quite large, no embellishment needed), strangely constructed weaponry (very frightening and extremely dangerous), home made licorice (actually good but it had all the chewability of a rock) and oddly enough needlepoint (decorated with bloody fingerprints)
It was almost like the War God was trying to impress him? The picture he was currently looking at was enormous and mostly blue. It looked very much like the sky, no, not quite it looked like a picture would look if you told a six year old to paint the sky, then gave them a two inch brush.
"It's very blue"
"It's the sea"
"Aaah, and these little black specks" Ares rolled his eyes.
"Dolphins"
"And you painted this" Ares nodded. Joxer shuffled, tried turning his head different angles. 'Do not say it's rubbish, find something nice about it. You do not diss the God of Wars artwork.' Another quite sensible part of him reminded him that being dragged round Ares temple and shown paintings that the God himself had done couldn't really be happening so it didn't really matter.
"It's...big...very blue" Ares was now peering close with him.
"Too much blue?" Joxer was stuck, he was coughing.
"Maybe just a little, waves would look nice"
"I tried waves, but they were rubbish I had to change them" Joxer looked closer trying to spot a mistake.
"Where?"
"The mountain" true enough the mountain actually came out of the sea. Joxer could imagine it starting off as a wave them being furiously splashed over with white and green. Ares shrugged and moved along, Joxer could do nothing but follow him. It was slightly disconcerting the way Ares wanted his opinion on everything. It was even more disturbing to discover Ares had tried almost everything Joxer had ever suggested, the needlepoint had actually been a joke.
He finally had to stop when sore feet became a real problem. Ares didn't even protest when he cautiously sat down on a small leather sofa.
"Look Ares I don't really know why I'm here to be honest. I mean sure it's amazing to look at all the stuff you've done but what am I doing here!" Ares sighed, sat at the other end of the sofa wiping a splodge of blue paint off of his thumb onto his leather pants. "You do know, I've already told you"
"But you could show these things to anyone" Ares leant back and sighed.
"I wanted to show them to you, you're the reason they exist." he ran a hand through his hair. Joxer shuffled around a little.
"Look Ares I really should be getting back, I'm tired and I'm hungry-"
"Why didn't you say so. Tartarus I'm sorry Jox I've never had a mortal guest" Ares paused "Well not one that was here to eat" He tugged Joxer back up.
"We'll have lunch, you don't have to go just yet"
---
Ares peered at Joxer from across the table, well at least he was eating. Though he had pointed out that there was too much food and the table would break. He still looked nervous, no that wasn't right, he looked like a man who was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He wouldn't stop fidgeting and he'd glance around every now and again at the room, sigh.
Ares was tempted to see what he was thinking. How did mortals do it, how did they ever communicate anything. He was shaken out of his reverie when the double doors slid open. Discord spared a glance for Joxer
"Oh hey there Joxer good to see you here at last" then she scowled "I thought Cupid was here?" Ares was intrigued by the way Joxer stared at Discord, food in his hand forgotten. "No he's still posing for Strife"
"Hasn't he finished that damn statue yet?" Ares was actually suspicious, since Strife rushed everything, though he had a feeling he was purposefully taking his time to make his son suffer.
"No"
"Fine, It'll serve him right to have to sit still through a lecture" she growled and stomped out.
"I didn't think she knew me. Ares why does she know me?" the look of uncertain fear was swift and horrible.
"Calm down Joxer, she's been reading my scrolls" Joxer made a small noise.
"Mine too?" Ares shrugged, nodded.
"Oh Gods!"
"You showed mine to Xena" Joxer made a desperate noise.
"She didn't know who you were!" he waved the grape he was still holding.
"You told me this wasn't some horrible joke"
"It's not, most of them found out by sneaking in my room and stealing the damn things. "Most of them!" it was almost a yell.
"Jox" which provoked a confused look, then Joxer sunk in his chair. Ares sighed, he didn't want this to go badly, he really didn't. "Look Joxer I'm sorry that other people found them but do you have any idea how dull it was around here until it all started. Do you have any idea what my immortal life was like" There was a small period of silence. Then very quietly Joxer spoke.
"You had too much work to do and no one would leave you alone to do it. You were worried about your father and upset because you were always his favourite until he started getting forgetful. Hercules stops your Wars which puts...Demeter after you. You never had a moments peace and your daughter had left you to pursue" he wavered, then smiled slightly "Another business, then you couldn't get anyone to do your work. Whenever you were by yourself you never had anything to do which made you mad all the time. Everyone else wouldn't pull their weight which meant any lapses were brought round to you and you were blamed" Joxer stopped and looked up, face flushed.
Ares sat there in utter silence, mouth open. He blinked, let out a deep breath and smiled slowly. He slid forward and rested his arms on the table.
"You remembered all that" Joxer put the grape down and shrugged.
"I never forget stuff about my friends...well I thought you were my friend at the time" he stared at his plate.
"Joxer I really don't know how this works, because you're the first friend I've ever had" he waited, sure enough the long head drifted upwards, looked faintly shocked. He saw the throat swallow. Uncertainly Joxer waved at the table.
"This is good...er food is good...a start I mean...food...er" Joxer groaned, went red and Ares couldn't help but laugh.
Title: Making Connections 13 : Introductions
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Hmm none really.
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 13 sequel to Revelations
Summary: Joxer gets invitations, visitors, then some more visitors.
"Oh so that's why Hercules always wins. Wow I didn't know that" Ares pushed his chair closer to the table, shoved a bowl of fruit out of the way.
"Yeah but the kicker is we're not allowed to tell him. My little half-brother would throw a fit!" It was funny, it really was. Joxer leant forward too resting his chin on a hand.
"So he's never figured any of this out? It's sort of obvious when you think about it" Ares laughed.
"No one said my brother was a big thinker. We're surprised Iolaus hasn't twigged yet though. Maybe it's all that hair interfering with his brain" Joxer sniggered, then tried to cover it with his mug.
"I kinda like Iolaus" Ares shrugged
"I never said I didn't like him but really, don't you think occasionally that he looks like one of those dolls that speak when you tip it upside down" this time Joxer spat wine on the table, then flushed and started wiping ineffectively with his sleeve, leaving Ares to laugh at him from the other end of the table.
"You're impossible, no wonder Aphrodite painted all your armour pink!" Ares growled and threw his mug behind him.
"Do you have any idea what that looked like on the battlefield! I thought I'd never live that down"
"Yeah but look at-Oh Gods!" a quick glance at the window told him it was dark already. He stood up, squeezed out from the table.
"Oh Gods it's late, I have to go, Xena will throw a fit. She'll think I've been murdered. I have to...where's my...no I didn't bring it...Oh Gods"
"Joxer calm down" and Ares was right there in front of him.
"Calm down I'll take you back" Joxer looked up, nodded. How odd was this?
"Ok...er thanks" Joxer yanked his armour off the back of the chair he'd been sitting in and retied it.
"Really, I mean wow, and thanks. This has been great, better that great, amazing and unbelievable and..." he'd run out of words. He just grinned.
"So you'll come back tomorrow?" Joxer stopped tying his armour and it slid down to clank against his belt. Oh he can't have heard that right.
"Come back...tomorrow. Why would you want...come back?" Ares was still grinning.
"I'll make lunch" he prodded. Joxer stammered desperately until he thought his tongue would fall out.
"I'd love to come back tomorrow...or whenever"
"Strife wants to show you his statue"
"Strife! Oh you can't be serious" Ares veered Joxer delicately in the direction of the doors.
"Yes he won't stop whining because I didn't want him here crowding you"
'Thank the Gods' but Joxer didn't say that out loud. Then he couldn't say anything because Ares looped an arm around his shoulders and the world went white.
Joxer steadied himself on the dirt.
"Whoah, that was weird" Ares gestured.
"The camp's through there" Joxer nodded
"Thanks"
"So tomorrow?" Joxer shrugged, smiled
"Tomorrow"
"Great" then Ares was gone in another whitish flashing sparkle. 'my friends can disappear in flashes of light, bet that's pretty cool.'
Then Joxer was stood alone, in the quiet, dark woods. Had all that really just happened? Had he spent almost an entire day on Olympus, in Ares home temple. Doing friendly things, ok so Ares God of War wanted to be friends with him. What was wrong with this picture. No one wanted to be friends with him. Even Xena and Gabrielle only tolerated him for short periods before sneaking off, or sending him somewhere else and not waiting. Or, if Xena was really pissed at him, just tying him up and leaving him. A few months worth of letters wasn't something you could base a friendship on, was it? I mean how could anyone really know the God of War, and as if that person would be him.
"Joxer!"
He looked up, came face to face with Xena, scowling, looking annoyed.
"We were worried about you"
"Hey Xena, I've had the coolest day" the scowl slowly drifted away as he recounted an edited version of what had happened. It all sounded perfectly believable this way, as long as Dragow wasn't a god. Oh and she appeared to be pleased for him. No one was ever pleased for him. Which made it great again.
---
Joxer pulled his bag into his lap and glanced up. Xena and Gabrielle had finally gone to sleep, after Gabrielle had spent most of the night giving him dirty looks and complaining to Xena about him. Apparently she thought he was possessed or something. Joxer knew for a fact that wasn't the only reason Gabrielle was pissy. As quietly as possible he fished in his bag for Ares scrolls. He needed to read then again. He wanted to read them again and know it was Ares. He really wanted to understand. Maybe even reassure himself that there was no other shoe to drop. That it was all ok and that it was all really happening.
He got to number sixteen when there was a light tap on his shoulder, he glanced left.
"Oh hi Cupid" he did a double-take and the scroll shot back together, smacking him on the chin. A presence at his other elbow giggled, provoking a full body flinch.
"Hey Jox" they both waved. His eyes jiggled briefly back and froth.
"Hi Strife" he was now effectively sandwiched between the two of them. A quick look confirmed Gabrielle and Xena were still sleeping. Cupid gestured
"Oh don't worry they're gone for the night" Joxer made a tiny noise and nodded.
"Ok"
"So how'd it go?"
"Huh?" they were asking him questions, he didn't know anything, he really didn't.
"With you and Dad, how'd it go?" nervousness briefly forgotten he frowned.
"You know about that?"
"Who doesn't?" Cupid leant back and smacked Strife round the head.
"Ow, whatcha do that for?" Joxer had caught the comment, and the smack.
"Who...hey is this a communal thing, does everyone know?" Cupid glared at Strife
"Idiot" the expression snapped into a smile at a speed which was frightening.
"No, it's not like that...we just got nosey, cos Dad was doing weird stuff"
"Fishing" Strife piped up.
"Yeah"
"And sculpting" Cupid spared another glare for him.
"Yeah, sculpting and other stuff. We thought he was going a bit funny, like gramps." Joxer nodded then stopped nodding. That wasn't information you shared, that was information that got you horribly killed. Cupid merely nodded with him.
"Hey everyone's seriously juiced about how you fixed that" Strife waggled his head, which Joxer guessed was a nod, it involved lots of clinking.
"Yeah, most of the time now he actually knows who he is" Joxer shrugged.
"It's nice that I helped"
"But Dad is way cooler than he's ever been now and we'd kinda like him to stay that way" Joxer felt a threat coming.
"So you gotta say you'll see him tomorrow"
"Huh?" now Joxer was confused, where were the threats of pain and general smiting. "Well he told us you were meeting tomorrow"
"Ya gotta see my statue Jox, I'm doing Cupid!" another glare from the winged God.
"I thought you were finished"
"Nearly finished I said" a final glare.
"Anyway, are ya going because Dad's panicking that he'd scared you off with the whole God thing."
"Since he is one" Strife grumbled sarcastically. Joxer looked from one to the other. "Huh?" Ares was panicking, since when?
"He wants someone to hang with, cos he can do the bowing and worshipping thing anytime" Cupid rolled his eyes and to Joxer's startled surprise he got the Godly in-joke and laughed. Which only seemed to impress his audience.
He was still getting over Ares wanting to 'hang' with him, when Cupid started again.
"Oh and the party!"
"You gotta come to the party!" Strife yelled and Joxer jumped, well if Xena and Gabrielle didn't wake up for that then they never would.
"Huh" twin looks of guilt then they shifted.
"Nothing"
"Yeah nothing"
---
Joxer was vaguely aware that someone was clearing their throat. It was still dark because he couldn't see through his eyelids. Oh he didn't want to get up yet, Cupid and Strife had only just left. He really did need some sleep especially after yesterday. He had been stressing about it in his dreams. He'd dreamt that Ares had taken him to Olympus again and he'd gotten lost and ended up somewhere else entirely, where the people where about to sacrifice him to their own Gods because Hera had kissed him.
"Xena it's still dark..." he shuffled to a sit and found himself looking at a rather slender thigh. He looked up. It was a strange woman he didn't know, though she had suspicious divine vibes. He figured being half-naked, bleary eyed wrapped in a blanket wasn't the best way to make an impression.
"Er Hello" it was the best he could come up with. The woman gave log behind him a cursory prod then sat on it.
"You're Joxer?" Oh goody, another case of 'you know me but I don't have a clue who you are'.
"Yes" she pulled something out of her bodice, it was a very nice bodice, very leathery. "She mentioned you, I've asked everyone and I can't find her, she's hiding" the Goddess chewed her lip. Joxer saw that she held a scroll, a rather crumpled ripped scroll. "Someone said you might know. Someone also said you're the one that's been helping Ares" she didn't seem convinced but she looked very much like a Goddess at the end of her rope.
Joxer frowned,
"I'm not still dreaming am I?" the unnamed Goddess scowled, then leant down and pinched him, hard. He yelped and grabbed his arm.
"OK, ok not dreaming" he did managed a glance towards Xena and Gabrielle but they were still as the dead.
"Who, I mean what, no I mean who's missing" the Goddess sighed and shoved the scroll at him. Hmm now he was getting Deja Vu. He could see quite clearly that it wasn't one of his though.
"Eris" Joxer nearly dropped the scroll. He'd seen her today, briefly. "Discord?"
"Yes, look just read it" he shuffled his other arm out and unrolled the scroll. Then looked up.
"Artemis?" she sighed, nodded. She shouldn't really be mad, he'd never seen her after all. Gods were just popping up like showers today. He read it, his eyes did the bugging thing a few times. He made a few noises, finally he handed it back.
"Well?"
"Er, what do you want me to say?" Artemis scowled some more.
"I want you to persuade her to see me" Joxer couldn't help laughing.
"I couldn't persuade Discord to do anything" Artemis snatched the scroll, stuffed it back in her bodice.
"I've heard people talking about you, they say you do things" she made him sound like some kind of weird mystic.
"Look I'm just Joxer I don't have any influence. Why don't you just leave a note in her temple 'Discord I came to see you but you were out' or something." Artemis eyes went wide. She made a short noise.
"Idiot"
"Hey"
"Not you me!" before he could even think of protesting, or not protesting she lunged forward, kissed him and vanished. Joxer sat there, listened to the nightlife for a few minutes.
"Definitely a dream" he squeaked and lay back down again.
Title: Making Connections 14 : Invitations
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Hmm none really.
Warning: Er, none this is harmless
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 14 sequel to Introductions
Summary: More shocks and surprises for our hapless hero, and he gets to meet the parents
"Hit it" Joxer tapped the chisel which stubbornly refused to budge.
"No harder, smack the thing" not one to refuse what sounded like an order Joxer shut his eyes and hit it. Three things happened at once. Strife burst out laughing, Ares jumped back and something landed on his foot, hard. He gave a long loud yell and snatched it off the ground. Midway through hopping around like a decapitated bird he caught Ares face. "You!...you knew that would happen"
"It was only a chin" Ares pointed out.
"No" Joxer jabbed a finger at him. "Not a chin, a dirty great rock!"
"It's probably broken all my toes, none of my boots will fit!"
Strife was still laughing. Cupid who had been giving a break from sitting still was lying awkwardly on the floor on his back. One wing stuck out at a funny angle.
"You all think this is funny?" Joxer settled his foot tentatively on the floor.
"Some friends you are"
"Dad fix his foot, Joxer's right" Ares grumbled and waved a hand. Joxer let go of his foot and peered at it. Sure enough it appeared to be fixed, not that he really thought it had been broken.
"Thanks"
Then there was a loud knock on the double doors. Joxer jumped, Ares merely turned and yelled.
"Come in!" the two doors swung open of their own accord. Standing regally in the doorway, were Zeus and Hera.
"Ares!" Zeus seemed particularly pleased and he didn't even have to look at his scroll, which was tucked in the sleeve of his robe. They both strode forward and Joxer fought the urge to hide. The only place that seemed viable was right behind Ares. Zeus patted his son on the shoulder. Then spotted Joxer who was doing his best not to cower under the scrutiny.
"Ah ha" Joxer jumped, instinctively curled closer into Ares side. There was nothing like being 'ah ha'd' at by the king of the gods.
"You!" Zeus wagged a finger at him. Joxer decided this was even worse than the 'ah ha'. Zeus then produced a scroll, read down it with a finger.
"Hmm you don't appear to be on my list" the scroll rolled back up smoothly.
"But I do know you!" Hera was peering from behind him as Zeus moved a finger back and forth through the air.
"Ares! Don't just stand there, jog my memory!" Ares jumped.
"Er, Father this is Joxer"
"Of course!" of all the things Joxer was expecting this wasn't one of them. He was grasped by the shoulders tugged out from beside Ares and hugged, then patted enthusiastically on the back.
"Yes of course Joxer, and such a clever boy at that" he pulled back, though his hands were still firmly planted on Joxer's shoulders.
"It's the helmet, I didn't recognise him without the helmet. Well welcome here finally boy! I hope my sons treating you well" it was Ares turn to shuffle as Joxer gulped and nodded swiftly.
"Good good, has he shown you around. Ares you must show him around. Take him to see that blonde fellow assign him some servants and so forth." more patting, Zeus lifted the scroll again, patted Joxer's chest with it, he trembled faintly.
"Ingenious idea, wish I'd thought of it actually"
Zeus pulled him round to face Hera, who by some strange twist of fate appeared to be smiling at him. Joxer tried to ignore the fact that he was tangled up in Zeus's robes, it was hard enough trying not to step on the slippers, complete with rabbit ears. He was effectively pinned to Zeus's side, this much attention wasn't good. The buzzing in his head told him to calm down or he was going to faint.
"Hera you remember Joxer!" Oh now he had the Queen of the Gods full attention. This didn't feel like a good thing. The Goddess who wanted to squash Hercules like an itty bitty bug. He was certain if he moved an inch Hera would fry him.
"I do, It's nice to meet you Joxer, at last" she spared an amused glance for Ares. Then stepped forward and laid a hand on Joxer's elbow.
"I believe I need to say Thank you" she leant forward placed a soft chaste kiss on Joxer's cheek. The quiet whimper did in fact make it to the surface. Hera had kissed him, did this mean the rest of his dream would come true?
"And we'll be seeing more of you I hope" he managed another tiny noise, which couldn't be classified as anything but a squeak.
Hera smiled slightly, then her expression slid into composed regality.
"Ares, I assume you've told Joxer about the party"
"Oh the party" Zeus interrupted nudged Joxer with an elbow, causing several muscles Joxer hadn't known he had to spasm uncontrollably.
"Hn"
"I love parties, this ones for me you know" he looked at Hera who's face appeared to be itching to smile again.
"I wrote out my own invitation"
"Zeus!" his lips snapped together, he gave one last grin and stepped back towards Hera. "Remember what we said" Zeus gave her a look which clearly stated he didn't. Ares cleared his throat, Hera took Zeus arm.
"We must be leaving, Hermes will no doubt appear shortly. She looked pointedly at Joxer. Who was still jiggling like a puppet.
"It was nice to meet you Joxer"
"Yes indeed" Zeus interrupted again.
"Isn't he a nice boy Hera, you really think Ares won't-" Hera cleared her throat gave Zeus a tug. He followed her in the direction of the doors.
The moment they disappeared from view Joxer collapsed on the couch with a little moan. Well that was another thing that appeared to be all too true.
"Well that went well" Cupid made an agreeable noise, he was now stretching across Ares desk, shoulders making cracking noises.
"Well?" Joxer's voice wobbled horribly.
"I thought I was going to be sick" Joxer then contemplated being sick on either Zeus or Hera and slid down slightly further on the couch with another moan.
"But you weren't, and Dad remembered you!" Ares flopped down beside him.
"Do you have any idea how many people he remembers off the top of his head?" this didn't make Joxer feel any better.
Ares stood up abruptly, making Joxer lurch around on the couch. He watched in bizarre wonderment as Ares slammed both hands down on his desk, pinning a dozen scrolls. Then there was a low, stomach clenching 'whum' and the doors blew in, hit the wall and an erratic flash of light became a blonde figure draped against the doorframe. Ares stepped forward, Cupid and Strife followed him. Joxer, not wanting to be left all alone in the middle of the room, slid in beside Ares. He didn't think he could handle any more excitement. He was sure he'd do something embarrassing if anyone else hugged him. "Hermes"
"Hey all" Joxer peered curiously at the newcomer, who lifted a sandal and blew smoke off of it.
"Can't stop, I'm on a run" he yanked four scrolls out of the strap of his top.
"Ares" he tossed it, Ares caught it.
"Cupid, Strife" two equally perfect tosses. Hermes lifted the last one and peered at it. Then quirked an eyebrow at Joxer.
"You Joxer?" all he could do was nod dumbly, since everyone knew him anyway. Lying would be stupid. Hermes shrugged, tossed the scroll at him. Joxer did manage to catch it but mostly with his face.
"Ok have fun, I'm outta here" the gust of wind managed to rearrange the hairstyle of everyone in the room, save Strife, who didn't have much of a hairstyle to rearrange.
Joxer patted his head and held the scroll he'd been given at arms length.
"What is it?" he found Ares, Cupid and Strife to all be grinning. Which didn't bode well. "Open it" Ares offered, and to be honest he was grinning more than most.
"Aren't you gonna open yours?" Strife was twirling his through his hand, Cupid had shoved his into the waistband of his pants and Ares was just holding his.
"Oh we know what they are already"
"Open it Jox" Joxer broke the seal and unrolled it. It was heavy, looked suspiciously like it was engraved in pure gold. He had a sudden horrible thought.
Joxer the Mighty
You are Cordially invited to a semiannual gathering of the Gods. To be held in the great Hall, Thursday Dusk 'til Dawn.
By the will of Zeus and Hera
"Unc you might wanna catch-" there was a thud. "Him"
Title: Making Connections 15 : You are Cordially Invited Part 1
Author: Corona
Rating: R (I think)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Cupid/Strife
Warning: Some rude bits, some not so rude bits and some general lechery
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 15 sequel to Invitations
Summary: Everyone gets ready for the party, like people do.
Ares stuck a shirt under Joxer's chin.
"No way, green?" Cupid pulled it out of the way and put a white one in it's place.
"Better" Strife shoved his way between both of them.
"Not, it's a frilly catastrophe" he threw it over his shoulder and replaced it with a shirt vaguely reminiscent of dried blood.
"Red is better"
"No it makes him look like a chilli pepper" Ares just waved a hand and it vanished.
"Umm guys" Joxer tried, he'd been standing around without a shirt for quite a while now, it was getting a bit chilly.
"Blue?" Strife made a short amused noise.
"The walls in the Great Hall are blue"
"Yellow!"
"He'll look like a clown!"
"Guys?" he tried waving a hand. Strife plucked something out of mid-air.
"Black's good, no arguing with black"
"No accessorising with it either" Cupid complained and folded his arms.
"Hey, Gods!" Cupid and Strife looked up, then looked guilty.
"Sorry Jox" Ares cleared his throat, shuffled. Strife shoved the pile of material to one side.
"What colour do you want to wear?" Ares copied the manoeuvre
"Yeah Joxer you decide"
Joxer wrapped his arms around himself.
"Look guys, I mean this is pretty big, I mean it's a big thing. It's a God thing, I don't know if I really want to go" three faces looked horrified.
"Jox?"
"You have to go, You've been invited" he shuffled, played with the string on his pants. "Well I was thinking maybe Zeus invited me by mistake, I mean he could have couldn't he?" Ares relaxed slightly, then smiled.
"Joxer if Zeus had his way he'd invite goats" that hadn't really been what Joxer wanted to hear. In fact that was just about the worst thing Ares could possibly tell him. He looked at the floor, nodded. A long tanned arm wound round his shoulder, feathers tickled his bare shoulder.
"But Zeus doesn't write the invitations, Hera does" his head shot up. He tried to form words with his mouth.
"Hera invited me?" Ares nodded
"I told you she likes you" Strife slid in beside Ares.
"And she barely likes anyone, you're like...special" he giggled and turned the pile of shirts into a mini pyre.
"Special people get to chose their own shirts right?" Joxer smiled faintly, but didn't look convinced.
"But what if-"
"Shirt" Strife snapped
"I can't just-"
"Shirt" This time it was Cupid.
"Can I speak?"
"No pick a shirt!" Oh now everyone was in on it. Joxer, wide eyed and flustered sighed. Looked from the three expectant faces to the pile of clothes currently undergoing a trial by fire.
"Ok, I kinda liked the white one..." Cupid looked smug.
"But without the frills" make that less smug.
---
Discord tossed her invitation on the bed and groaned, the promptly sat on it, to tug off a boot.
Great that was all she needed, a big room with a whole lot of people who didn't like her in it. That was her idea of a good time. She flung the boot against the wall, wasn't surprised when it didn't break anything. The pain was Hera had a tendency to get pissy if people didn't show up. You had to at least show your face. Make it look as if it wasn't a colossal waste of time. She flopped backwards, then swore and sat up again, one hand clutched to her head.
"What the F-" there was a scroll on her pillow. It hadn't been there earlier, which meant someone had been in her room. Gods couldn't she get any peace, just five minutes without someone else in her personal space. She picked it up and ripped it open.
Eris,
I have to speak to you, please. I know you're busy, at the party, please.
Artemis
"Oh Gods" she dropped it over the edge of the bed. Just what she didn't need, having that particular conversation with Artemis. Now she had to somehow appear at the party, talk to Ares and Joxer. Be seen by Hera but not by Artemis or Aphrodite and scram outta there fast as Tartarus. "Can't I catch a break here! Gods"
---
"This is stupid" Strife looked down at himself. The frilly white shirt was not him. It was also too big.
"It's an official function, you have to dress for it"
"And I can't wear what I normally wear because?"
"It's not official"
"It's what I always wear, Gods no wonder Joxer threw a fit" Strife attempted get his arm through a sleeve.
"It don't fit, why can't you wear it" Cupid spread his wings.
"Funny thing about shirts"
"Yeah yeah whatever"
Cupid made a noise and stuck his own hand into the sleeve, grabbed Strifes and pulled it through. He thought this was funny, he was just grinning.
"Strife serious please, we've got like thirty minutes"
"I'm not gonna get into this in thirty minutes" he hit Cupid with the sleeve, his hand had vanished again.
"Ow" he hit him again.
"This is stupid" Cupid dodged, then grabbed the sleeve end and squeezed it shut.
"Stop hitting me, you think I like the white harness" he gestured at his own outfit. Strife glared Cupid glared back. Strife glared harder. Cupid tugged the sleeve, Strife stumbled forward and they headbutted each other.
"Ow"
"OW" Strife scowled, rubbed his head. Cupid had to laugh, it was Strife's wounded betrayed expression. It prompted him to do something bizarre. There was silence for roughly twenty seconds.
"You kissed me!" a finger was pointed accusingly, though it shook slightly.
"You kissed me first" Strife pointed out, then frowned.
"And then carried on kissing me even when you realised you were doing it" As arguments went this was dumb. Strife waved an arm, white frilled sleeve still flapping. Cupid leant back out of thwapping distance.
"Well it's not like I've never kissed you be-" he came to a grinding halt.
"Oh Gods" Strife tried to force his arm through the sleeve.
"Oh did you finally notice that then"
"But...but" a ripping sound and Strife's fingers appeared.
"Why'd you have to go an do it now"
"Wait a minute, I did kiss you and you hit me!" Strife goggled
"When?"
"You'd fallen in Hera's pond" Strife stopped struggling with the shirt.
"I was twelve"
"And you hit me" the accusing finger came up again.
"You hit me and threw me in the pond"
"I was twelve" Strife pointed out again.
"You didn't feel the need to try again or something" Cupid blinked
"You didn't feel the need to ask"
Strife lunged grabbed hold of Cupid's harness and dragged him into breathing distance. "Kiss me!" Cupid dragged a breath, threw an arm round the back of Strife's neck and kissed him again. Gods finally, how long did it take for the House of Love to catch a clue. He'd always figured asking would be rude, and 'sex now' well that was Ares style. This was good though, in fact if they continued they were gonna miss the party, which would be bad...probably. Ah screw it how often had he let that bother him. So he'd be in trouble, nothing new there. He was distracted when the number of tongues in his mouth was reduced dramatically.
"Strife?" he loosened his hold on the harness long enough to let Cupid ease back.
"Is this gonna be weird?" Strife scowled.
"Hey, I may be a little kinky but I'm not depraved!"
Cupid didn't appear to be amused.
"No that's not what I meant, is it gonna be weird between us"
Strife gaped, made an annoyed noise. 'Was this an afterthought?' he refused to be an afterthought.
"Well yeah, if you're gonna stress about it." hoping to take his cousin off guard he jerked the harness again. Giving Cupid the option to either kiss him or break his nose, smart boy.
Then Strife was getting a little enthusiastic with his hands. Cupid slapped them away from his laces. Ten seconds later they were back, he slapped them again and managed to pull his head away.
"Strife?!" an angry puff of air drifted across his face.
"Look much as I'd love to put aside a few hours to resolve this we got about twenty minutes before we're expected to show for the party." Cupid spluttered.
"You wanna do this now?" a hand pressed insistently against his crotch.
"Yes" Then leather squeaked against leather as Strife slid all the way down to his knees.
Cupid made a noise, knocked over a vase with a wing. Gaped down at his cousin who was tugging laces out of their respective holes.
"Are you gonna-Ow" Strife took his teeth out of his thigh.
"Shut up"
Strife licked a long line, starting between Cupid's leather clad thighs and ending at the slack waistband. Then he slid down again slightly, stopping to nuzzle against his erection through damp leather.
"I love these, me and leather pants we have a history" Cupid shifted against the wall as Strife rubbed his entire head against his crotch like a giant cat.
"Strife" oh and that was a desperate needy whine if he ever heard one. His hand tangled into the spikes of black hair and very nearly clenched when sharp fingers hooked through the waistband and tugged it downwards. The leather dropped, to a purr of appreciation, leading to the reasoning that Strife was a cat in a previous life.
A long cool lick had Cupid arching against the wall. He sucked a breath, throat closing off and refusing to let him breath.
"Oh God" Strife took the opportunity to slide his lips around the head and take Cupid's entire erection down his throat. Cupid's head smashed backwards into the wall, eyes slamming shut, lips parting on a breath. 'Oh gods' and suddenly there wasn't enough air in the room, or space, or anything. He was absolutely certain he'd never thought about this happening. At least not for a few centuries. Strife gave enthusiasm new meaning.
Then the younger god swallowed. Cupid lurched forward unsteadily. Strife's hands caught his hips, didn't even flinch. He flung one hand against the wall for support, the other clenched and released in Strife's hair. His cousin chuckled softly, then sucked shockingly hard. Which did nothing for Cupid's composure or his balance, and there were no damn handholds. Strife's hand slid up his thigh, cupping his balls in a chilly hand. Cupid shivered then groaned harshly as they were squeezed gently.
His breathing was shot to Tartarus, he was panting, hips thrusting, nails biting into the plaster.
"Strife" he gasped hoarsely. He was actually fighting not to incinerate furniture. Another long pull buckled both his knees and he had to rip a hole in the wall to stop himself sliding to the floor.
"Oh Fuck!" then Strife was chuckling round his cock, which was the oddest sensation. Then it wasn't odd it was...he couldn't think of a word but it was good, and it was about to end. He felt Strife's lips slide all the way up to the head of his cock and clamp hard. He came with a yell that could have woken the dead.
Cupid peeled his eyes open, tried to focus on something that wasn't moving.
"And we didn't do this before because?" Strife chuckled drew Cupid's pant laces tight and appeared in front of him smirking. Then wrapped a hand round his neck and kissed him. It was an experience, a tongue slid the full length of his cheek then their was a giggle in his ear.
"Are you forgetting something, we have a party to go to, coming?" then the little bastard just vanished. Cupid made a loud bereft noise, then grumbled quietly. 'I'm just gonna melt down the wall now, ok, you can pick me up later.'
---
"Which one precious?" Hera looked up from earring adjustment and found Zeus holding two robes. One was silver the other an odd shade of purple with tassels.
"The grey one Zeus, the other one's a bathrobe" he tossed aside the tasseled robe and put on the other one.
"Perfect" she turned back long enough to choose a sufficiently regal necklace, was surprised when two hands lifted her hair and clasped it.
"You look wonderful" he offered with a beaming smile. Hera raised an eyebrow,
"So do you, though you'll have to change your shoes" the smile dropped slightly at the corners.
"But they’re my favourites" Hera blinked contemplated the ducky slippers, complete with beak for the toes.
"They'll get dirty, put your black shoes on they'll match your robe" Zeus reluctantly took off the ducky slippers and went to find his formal shoes, which as usual were shoved to the back of a cupboard.
"They pinch my feet, and they're not half as warm" but he didn't sound horribly upset. If he had she might have relented.
He reappeared shuffling around, looking very normal.
"Now you're perfect" he smiled and threaded an arm through hers.
"Are we off now?" Hera nodded
"Will there be dip, and little mini pastries" Hera cleared her throat.
"I'm sure there will be plenty, and if their isn't, I'll make some for you specially."
Title: Making Connections 16 : You are Cordially Invited Part 2
Author: Corona
Rating: PG (probably)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Er none exactly
Warning: Nothing scary or rude in this bit.
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 16 sequel to You are Cordially Invited Part 1
Summary: Everyone arrives at the party and makes merry (well ok they mingle)
"Whoah" Joxer stopped dead and Ares smacked into his back.
"Those are big doors" he craned his neck up, in fact they were huge doors.
The tops disappeared somewhere into the clouds. It would take a week and a hundred men to open them.
"Are we going in there?" Ares settled both hands on his shoulders.
"I think Hera would be a little offended if we stood outside them all night"
Joxer reached out to touch them, they were cold and they felt like polished metal.
"How do they-Aaargh" they swung open obediently at his fingertips, silent and swift. Joxer tried to move back again but the found the way blocked by most of Ares limbs.
"Calm down, they're just doors" he settled a hand on Joxers back and guided him through them, though Joxer couldn't help twisting to watch them close behind him.
He turned back around and stuttered to another stop. It seemed Ares had been expecting this one because there was no aggrieved thud and grumble from behind.
"Ares" he hissed, he half-expected it to echo, made a desperate grab for Ares leather clad shoulder.
The room was quite possibly the biggest he'd ever seen. The people at the other end appeared tiny and it was wide enough to contain legions of soldiers. It was also full of Gods, well not exactly full. You'd probably call it a smattering of Gods.
"Joxer calm down" a long arm settled round his shoulders.
"You're supposed to be here remember, and if anyone so much as sneers in your direction I will personally turn them into wallpaper paste" Joxer squeaked but let himself be led down a frighteningly steep staircase into the belly of the room. Oh and that description didn't help his nerves one bit.
---
Ares was doing the weaving and introducing, which was odd. The God of War was surprisingly diplomatic, if diplomacy was a world where growling and threats of bodily harm were acceptable. It appeared they were here. It was also quite frightening the number of people who knew who he was. Should he be worrying about that? He almost felt like he'd need a disguise to go anywhere ever again. Then he saw someone who he actually knew from before his life got seriously weird. Couldn't help the instinctive urge to wave, so he did.
Aphrodite blinked, pulled a very unflattering face then leant forward displaying an avalanche just waiting to happen.
"Joxie?" both her eyebrows shot up, then she threw herself at him. Then he was being hugged again until he thought he might possibly burst open all over her.
"This is so cool, what are you doing here?" for a second Joxer thought Hephaestus was going to do something scary, but he seemed, happily ignorant.
'Have I actually found someone who doesn't know who I am?' she released him, only to hug him again and make happy squealing noises. Then she turned on her brother.
"Ares!" she stamped a tiny gold slipper.
"What are you doing with Joxie?" she dropped the hand she was pointing with and gripped Joxer's in her own and Ow Aphrodite had strong fingers.
"Not that I'm not totally thrilled to see him" he was subjected to another squeeze, which prompted another glance at her husband. He didn't appear annoyed yet, or ever?
"Does Hera know he's here?" a long blonde brow was twitched in the direction of the twin thrones.
"Hera invited me" Joxer offered, feeling that he really should say something, since everyone was staring at him. Aphrodite's head swung back in his direction like something out of a nightmare. She made a very unflattering choked noise.
"Uh" Ares appeared to be enjoying his sisters range of facial expressions.
"She invited him, especially. I think Zeus is going to make an announcement later" Aphrodite blinked, swayed into her husband, who steadied her with an elbow.
"Wha?" then Joxer saw something extraordinary. Aphrodite yanked herself back together. "Wow, how cool is that! What did you do Joxie?"
"Er"
"He's helping Dad" Aphrodite blinked,
"He's the one?" Ares nodded.
"With the scroll and the little plaques?" Ares nodded
"I didn't do much" Joxer offered quietly.
"He's the one you've been writing to? How cool is that!" Aphrodite's squeal turned a few heads causing Joxer to consider hiding under the table.
"And nobody told me this why exactly! Sheesh" Aphrodite shook herself, which wasn't something you could avoid looking at. Then she laced an arm through Ares.
"I have to talk to you" Ares scowled
"Why?"
"It's about Eris" Ares sighed and nodded.
"Joxer, I'll be right back, stay here"
Joxer fought the urge to whimper as Aphrodite led Ares away. He wasn't being abandoned exactly. He could still see Ares and Cupid, Strife, Artemis, Zeus, Hera, Discord, well bits of Discord. He realised what he'd just thought and shifted uncomfortably. He also realised he wasn't technically alone. He was still standing in Hephaestus shadow
Joxer turned slightly, debated whether it could possibly bring him physical pain, then stuck his hand out.
"Hi, I'm Joxer" he glanced down briefly, then replaced it with his other hand. Hephaestus slowly did likewise, they shook.
"Hephaestus" he was encouraged by the slow but definite smile.
---
'Damn it' where the hell was Ares. 'Shit' he was talking to Aphrodite. Discord veered behind the table shoving a few minor Gods out of the way. When she was absolutely certain she was out of their line of sight she went looking for the other person she was after. Bingo, ok Joxer was talking to Hephaestus, well stranger things had happened.
She came up behind him, managed a smirk of amusement at the small yelp and wide eyed fright her sudden appearance had provoked.
"Joxer, thought I saw you" he glanced around as if looking for an appropriate place to hide next time.
"Can I have a word?" she didn't wait for an answer but threaded her arm through his and tugged his away.
"Er I'm sorry, please excuse me" he burbled in the Fire God's direction.
Discord was actually surprised when Hephaestus lifted a hand in acknowledgement. She was starting to realise why Joxer was the most talked about thing since Prometheus (Bastard). He kinda grew on you. Only not like diseased pustules. More like one of those dumb puppies. It helped that he'd never been involved in her abrupt transmogrification into a chicken either. When she found a suitable spot behind a pillar she leant into him and panicked all in one mouthful.
---
Something hit Strife from behind and he turned, ready to give someone an earful, or if that failed something worse.
"Oomph, Strife" he calmed down when it appeared to be Joxer, a very rumpled Joxer. Closely followed by a harassed looked Discord. She looked at him, scowled, blushed and scurried away. He blinked at Joxer for a few seconds.
"Jox did you boink my Mom?" Joxer gaped, made a face.
"No" he tried to tuck in some flailing pieces of shirt. Strife raised the eyebrow of disbelief. Joxer gestured at the tiny tears in the collar.
"She shook me! A lot, I think she's a little stressed" Strife appeared to relax.
"Oh yeah she does that a lot" Joxer tried to peer over the crowd, which was impossible.
"Have you seen Ares?" Strife shook his head, then frowned, one of his eyes twitched.
"He's talking to Cupid"
"Thanks" Joxer squeezed through a gap in the throng, trying desperately not to tread on anything.
---
"You look...ruffled" Ares offered, deemed not to protest when Cupid snatched his cup and drank the lot. He waited a few beats while his son seemed to be debating whether to cough or hiccup.
"Better?" a twitch instead
"Oddly yes"
"Wanna tell me about it"
"No"
"Fair enough" he glared at his cup, now he needed a refill.
---
"Joxer!" he was enfolded in robe, strong arms snaring him and then dragging him halfway across the table.
"Urrgh"
"I'm so glad you came" Joxer leant sideways, if he was to be dragged over the table it would be this way, at least then he wouldn't end up in Hera's lap. He was released carefully, Zeus even helped his squirm back to the other side of the table.
"Er Zeus hi, this place is amazing" the king of the Gods folded his robe until he could sit down again.
"Well the youngsters usually use it for target practice but it scrubs up well don't you think?"
"It's great, really roomy and yet big" he tried desperately to think of something else to say.
"Xena would love this?" Zeus pulled a face.
"Who's Xena" Joxer blinked, then cleared his throat.
"Oh she's Ares daughter, she's only half-God though, she's a warrior" Zeus appeared to like her already.
"Wonderful, why isn't she here?" Joxer licked his lips, 'be diplomatic' he thought furiously.
"Her and Ares don't get along very well" Zeus gazed across the room at his son, squinting a little at the distance. Joxer was horrified that he'd gotten so far away.
"That's a shame, awful shame, children are so precious and most people just waste them" Zeus removed his hands from Joxer's arms and clapped them.
"Have I met her?" Joxer frowned, thinking desperately.
"I don't think so, but I'm sure she'd like you" he added, he was getting quite good at this whole diplomacy thing. Zeus grinned, bounced almost.
"Well I don't think one more guest would hurt" there was a brief flash and Xena appeared beside Joxer at the table.
"Aaargh" he managed swaying sideways. She took one look at Joxer, one look at Zeus, then slowly her eyes wandered around the spacious room currently full of chattering Gods.
"What the-?"
"Xena" Zeus to Joxer's almost delighted horror enfolded her into a welcoming embrace. "Welcome to the party, it's so nice to meet new people" he let her go then lifted a hand to pat her cheek.
"And you're so pretty, you take after your father" Xena had apparently been frozen rigid she made a small squeaky sound very unfit for a warrior princess. Joxer, who knew a nervous twitch when he saw one, quickly found a full cup, which just happened to be Zeus's.
"Welcome to Olympus Xena, have a drink" without looking she snatched the cup and downed the whole thing.
Title: Making Connections 17 : You are Cordially Invited Part 3
Author: Corona
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Artemis/Discord, Other/?
Warning: Some rude bits, some not so rude bits and some general lechery
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 17 sequel to You are Cordially Invited Part 2
Summary: Party starts to heat up just a little
"I don't think Zeus would be very happy if...oof...aaargh, stop that"
"Quit wiggling Ganeymede" the youth was trying vainly to hold onto his skirts and his dignity. He'd lost track of the number of hands trying to get into his clothes one way or the other. A knee was doing an excellent job of pinning numerous parts of his anatomy to the bed, he was left clutching his hands to his chest like a terrified virgin.
"No, stop it, stop doing that...Aaargh, get your hand off of that!" an enthusiatic wiggle brought him half off the bed. Seeing the opportunity he made a break for freedom.
"Not so fast my little pretty, come back here, I haven't finished yet" a hand on the back of his neck and a leg wrapped round his waist sent him tumbling back onto the bed decidedly less dressed than when he'd made a break for it. He gave a short quiet whimper, contemplated playing dead. It wasn't easy when you were being kissed ferociously from every conceivable angle. The hands had got under his skirts again and there was no way his body could contort enough to close his legs. He squeaked quietly and surrendered to his fate.
"Xena!" she flicked her head round. Ganymede gave a short squeal and wiggled out from under her, sliding off the bed to land with a thump. He spared a grateful glance to Ares before picking up what was left of his skirts and running headlong through the double doors. Xena gave an unladylike growl.
"Dammit, it was just getting interesting as well" she shuffled her bodice straight.
"Little tease" She shuffled off the bed, swayed, then stood.
"Ares" there was no malice in the word, in fact the word was thick with affection. She shook her head, a lot.
"No no, Dad!" then Ares found his arms full of intoxicated Warrior Princess. Ares shrugged and hugged his daughter.
"Ares she's drunk" Joxer pointed out, scandalised almost.
"She's a Demi-God she can drink our wine" Xena hiccuped and hugged him harder.
"Though it's probably not good for her"
"Maybe we should take her somewhere so she can lay down" Ares chuckled
"I thought that was what we were trying not to let her do?" Joxer, in a fit of strange protectiveness smacked him on the arm.
"Ares, it's my fault she's here. I should never have mentioned her" Ares released Xena who wobbled and straightened.
"Mentioning her wasn't the problem, it was handing her Zeus's cup. Do you know what he puts in that stuff?"
"What?" Ares shrugged
"Who knows"
"This place is great!" Xena offered, flinging her arms out wide. Ares and Joxer caught her before she hit the floor.
"We'll leave her in my temple, she'll probably just collapse and fall asleep somewhere"
---
"Hey Sis" Artemis scowled at her brother who, completely oblivious, threw an arm round her. She shrugged it off.
"Back off hormones"
"Awh come on"
"Isn't there a muse somewhere that you should be letching over?" Apollo appeared not to take offense.
"Hey you outshine a whole room full of muses" Artemis rolled her eyes.
"Save the crap, I'm not screwing you" she didn't need this, all she wanted to do was talk to Discord. She'd already realised an hour ago that Discord was avoiding her. Which was why she was standing against the wall. Artemis was doing what she was born for, she was hunting.
Artemis came away from the wall like a tiger, stalking silently and effortlessly. Like some great jungle cat. You started this Discord, I may not have seen it at first but by Tartarus I see it now. She weaved between several Aunts and a rather lost looking Uncle then came out from under a shoulder right behind a pale neck wrapped in black velvet. She laid a hand on it. Discord turned, gawped. Artemis mostly stared. Discords hair was pinned up, and it looked curled almost. Trailing along throat and collarbone like tiny black tentacles. Her pulse sounded in her ears and she had to bow low to make sure her sister heard her.
"I have to talk to you, now" she hadn't meant it to come out as a sort of growly purr but damned if it didn't. She cleared her throat, Discord made a face she couldn't read and nodded once. Then Artemis followed her.
---
Hera made her way over to Zeus, who was standing by the wine having an intimate conversation with his daughter.
"Surely you get cold, in that tiny little dress. Men will be looking at you too, they're scoundrels you know if you show them a bit of flesh" Aphrodite looked torn between laughing and finding a different dress.
"But I'm the Goddess of love, I can't exactly wear a burlap sack"
"Aphrodite" she melted at her name.
"You're a married woman, you can't flaunt yourself and expect your husband to just put up with it" Aphrodite frowned.
"He doesn't care, he knows I'm the Goddess of love!" her forehead was wrinkling in a combination of annoyance and a burning desire to make Daddy happy.
"I dress like this because I'm the Goddess of Love" Zeus wagged a finger.
"Ahh but how does Aphrodite dress?" Aphrodite raised an eyebrow.
"Well I...wear..." she stopped, made a small confused noise.
"People who love you don't care what you wear, they love you for you and you're such a good girl" Zeus pulled her into a hug, that consisted almost entirely of chiffon and robe. Aphrodite made a squeaky noise.
"I am?" her curls were patted in a way which was entirely paternal.
"You're beautiful and special, just like all my other children"
Aphrodite sniffed then groaned. "Oh Tartarus now I'm leaking" Zeus released her, she stepped back, pulled a face and awkwardly folded her arms over her bosom, then flashed away.
"Was it something I said?" Hera handed him some wine.
"I thought you did wonderfully" she patted his hand. He grinned and set his wine back down on the table.
"Let's dance Hera" her eyes widened
"Zeus?"
"Come on Hera we haven't danced forever, it's what the music's for after all" Oblivious to her squeaks of protest Zeus spun her out into the centre of the room.
---
Discord shoved the door of her own temple shut with a hip and folded her arms. Defensive posture number thirteen and she didn't give a shit.
"Yeah?" Artemis swallowed
"I want to talk about the scroll" Discord scowled
"Scroll?"
"You can't play dumb with me Eris, I come from the other side of the family" Artemis plucked the scroll from her bodice and waved it. By now it was in some serious need of repair.
"This scroll, the one you practically shoved at me last week. I've spent the last nine days trying to get you to see me!" the scroll waved again.
"What this, this is nothing" Discord snatched it panicking, shredded the scroll into tiny pices and flung them on the bed.
"Maybe I was out of my mind ok, or maybe it was a big joke, did you consider that."
"No I didn't" Discord floundered desperately.
"Look like it matters anyway, cos you're not interested, no one is into Discord ok, so why don't we just for-" Discord squeaked when Artemis clasped a hand round the back of her neck and tugged. Lips met seconds later and Discord had just enough time for a furious mental monologue. 'Oh my Gods, Oh my Gods, Artemis is kissing me, Artemis is kissing me! Artemis 'is' into Discord.'
Then it was harder to continue the kiss because she was grinning and no one can kiss when they're grinning. Oh and Artemis was grinning right back. She groaned and now there was tugging and Artemis hands were somehow under the back of her skirt. Then Artemis pulled back just long enough to shove Discord back onto the bed. She bounced, grunted and settled, then Artemis clamboured gracefully all the way back up to her mouth, and kissed her again.
The tiny forgotten pieces of scroll were scattered across the bed, some fluttered down to land on the floor. Some got stuck to skin and bits of sheet, moving across the bed in undulating little waves. More pieces were folded into it to be forgotten until laundry day. One particularly adventurous piece made it all the way into Discords little tendrils of hair, before it was evicted by clutching hands.
---
Deimos stuck his finger into the bowl, Phobos promptly slapped it out again.
"No, no fingers"
"Why?!"
"Will you stop whining, you can't stick your fingers into everything." Deimos gave him a look which clearly said 'Wanna bet?' Phobos ignored it, held out a bone thin hand.
"Give" Deimos sighed, fished around in his clothes for half a minute and pulled out three bottles. Phobos took two, raised an eyebrow.
"What's that?" he gestured at the last one. Deimos shrugged
"It's purple and it fizzes I thought it was cool" Phobos fluttered his eyelashes, oddly not seduction but annoyance.
"I told you green and red"
"But it was with them, they were all lined up" Deimos blew the dust off of it.
"Bacchus wouldn't have put them together if they weren't meant to go together" Phobos remained unconvinced. Deimos shook the bottle.
"It's purple and it fizzes" nothing.
"Oh come on pull the stick outta ya arse it was your idea!" Phobos huffed and snatched it. Swiftly uncorked all three bottles and tipped them into the mass of red liquid. Deimos watched, nothing happened.
"Nothing's happening" Phobos shook his head, sighed
"It's not meant too"
"Well where's the fun in that!" Phobos slung an arm around his brothers shoulders.
"I really did get all the brains didn't I" Deimos didn't bother to look annoyed.
"Yeah but I got all the...other stuff" His brother couldn't argue with that.
Title: Making Connections 18 : You are Cordially Invited Part 4
Author: Corona
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Xena/Ganeymede
Warning: Hmm, some hitting and naughty words.
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 18 sequel to You are Cordially Invited Part 3
Summary: Party starts to heat up just a little more
Ganeymede stepped back, long hands lifted in placation.
"Look, Xena I'm really not your type. I'm just your average lower god. I don't have any special skills" Xena grinned, Ganeymede blushed.
"Well maybe a few" he yipped quietly when Xena crashed into him full speed.
He'd thought Ares got rid of her or put her somewhere else. Oh why couldn't he have been a War God. He was more the wriggle and squirm type. Which he did in abundance, until the noises Xena was making became little growls then he stopped wiggling. Xena didn't need an erection to broadcast it. Ganeymede squeaked.
"Help!"
Then something grabbed Xena by the shoulder and lifted her right off the floor. She growled, turned to face whoever had tugged her away from her chew toy. The growl became a whimper and she shut up. Ganeymede picked himself up off the floor and shuffled his skirts straight.
"Oh thank the Gods, Thank you, Thank you!" the newcomer set Xena down.
"Go find something else to play with" Xena fidgeted, gave one last glance at Ganeymede, sighed and trudged off along the corridors. Ganeymede glanced up at the figure beside him.
"Thank you, really" the newcomer hiccuped. Ganeymede blinked in surprise.
Then an arm slid around his shoulder and he was grinned at in a most alarming fashion. He had just enough time to briefly consider he would have been far better off with Xena before a flash took them both elsewhere.
---
"Hey" Strife wobbled then slumped against the wall. Cupid, glanced across at him and waved an empty cup.
"Hey"
"Whatcha doing?" Cupid looked around briefly.
"Standing here" Strife giggled, then had to stop when the wall started hitting him on the head. "Ow" Cupid threw his empty cup over his shoulder.
"Hey" they both turned to the newcomer
"Yes Janus can we help you?" Strife giggled, he didn't know how Cupid could be so polite when he was drunk.
"Did you throw this?" Cupid looked at Strife, who shrugged.
"Yeah? you got a problem?" Janus shoved Cupid hard enough to knock his head against the wall. Seconds later several silver rings hit Janus in the face and sent him flying.
---
Joxer turned when a loud yell sounded, his eyes widened in total shock and not a little fear.
"Oh Gods!" the scene across the room was chaos. There was one God, straddling another God and repeatedly banging his head against the floor. A Goddess in black was giggling her head off and occasionally throwing peanuts at the other two figures struggling on the steps. One of which had wings, but only when they rolled a certain way. A table broke under the weight of a third combatant who was promptly flung into the God who was currently practicing primitive brain surgery. A grunt and a glare from the God in question revealed it to be Strife.
"Ares! Fight!" he tugged frantically on an arm, nearly got hit by it when Ares swung round. Then a hand wrapped round his and tugged him across the room. Joxer stuttered, why was Ares dragging him into the middle of a fight of divine proportions. When they got close enough to get hit by the occasional Goddess thrown peanut Ares stopped.
"Stay over there" Joxer stepped back, bumped into a table, aah screw it. He slid backwards under it.
The two struggling figures were now on their feet and it was clear which one belonged to the house of War. Since Cupid was bleeding and the other guy wasn't.
"Hey" Ares didn't wait for the figure to even turn, he just swung an elbow and dropped him like a rock.
"No one hits my son!" Strife stopped banging the God's head on the floor and got off him and stood up. The bangee slid ungracefully to a sit, moaning. The two Gods who'd broken the table were still slugging it out.
Until one of them was distracted by the peanut throwing Goddess and promptly decked painfully.
The, now unconscious, offenders companions didn't look too happy but seemed to think starting anything with the God of War wouldn't be a good idea. One raised his hands and sidled carefully away. Sparing a disgusted look and a shove for Joxer who had decided it was safe to come out from under the table. Then all Tartarus broke loose.
---
Hera gracefully dodged a flying boot to reclaim her throne. Zeus was watching the proceedings with a mixture of interest and honest confusion.
"Don't you think we should do something precious?" Hera smiled slightly.
"No darling, it's not a proper party until someone starts a fight"
"Really? Does this happen often?"
"Why do you think we only hold them twice a year" Zeus shrugged. Hera moved her robe aside to reveal what she had carefully brought to her seat.
"Here have a mini pastry" Zeus beamed and collected them all into his own lap.
"Joxer seems to be alright at least, I'll keep an eye on him" Zeus chuckled around a mini pastry. "No need dear, I've already made sure he'll be alright. Oh and Ares daughter!" Hera blinked, swallowed carefully, then cleared her throat.
"Darling? What did you do?"
---
Ares was grinning, in fact he'd been grinning constantly since the fight had stopped. Though technically it was hard to brawl when all the other people were unconscious. Joxer had finally managed to drag him back to a table that was still standing. Still trembling slightly from seeing Hephaestus toss a God out the window for spilling wine on Aphrodite. They'd both disappeared not long after. Wine sounded like a good idea, he poured Ares a large mug and shoved it in front of him.
"You enjoyed that?" Ares continued to grin.
"Did you have to hit the Goddess, she wasn't fighting"
"She threw peanuts at you" Joxer rolled his eyes, then frowned.
"Who was she anyway?"
"Mania" well that explained the giggling and the constant shower of peanuts. Now everything was carrying on as normal, even around the broken tables and splatters of blood.
"Does this happen a lot?"
Ares drained the mug he was holding and refilled it.
"It's never a proper party until a fight breaks out" Joxer shook his head.
"I had parties like that when I was a kid." He looked at Ares mug and wished vainly that he could drink it. It would probably melt his insides or something, but he could really use a drink about now. He refilled Ares mug again instead and shuffled it across the table.
"Here have another one" he glanced around the room, which was more empty than full now, tried not to look too closely at two pale figures intertwined on the steps.
"Where did Cupid and Strife go?" Ares chuckled. Joxer waved a hand.
"Oh don't answer that" he stood up shook his shirt.
"I'm gonna go see if I can wash the wine out of my shirt" he shook the collar.
"I think there's peanuts in here too" Ares set down his mug.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Joxer considered that for a few minutes.
"No just stay here, I won't be long"
---
Xena was feeling a little frazzled. First she'd been dumped in Ares temple, it had taken her an hour to smash through the lock with her Chakram. Then the boy had been stolen and then a really hot Goddess, she was at a loss as to exactly who, had sent her flying when she tried to feel her up. Then she'd drunk some more wine, which made her head itchy. So now she was stalking the doorway leading to the balcony. The next person that came through was hers, protests and wiggling were no longer options. She growled quietly and with purpose.
---
"Ares" Oh thank the Gods finally! He slid in beside the mass of leather and let out a breath.
"I thought I'd lost you again, this place is huge, I thought I was going to be wandering forever. Though it might have helped if you'd stayed at the same table" Ares grinned.
"Jox" Oh no, he was being hugged again. Slightly more exuberantly than his body could probably handle. Only this was strange, because Ares didn't hug. Not for this long anyway. Maybe it was adrenaline left over from the fight?
"Umm...Ares" that was all he could get out before he used up all his air reserves.
The God of War seemed to realise this and set him down. Joxer watched him sway faintly with wide eyes.
"You're drunk" he pointed a shocked finger. Ares shook his head, a few too many times. "M'not" Joxer groaned, since that practically broadcast it.
"Oh yes you are and I've only been gone twenty minutes! How did you get drunk in twenty minutes" Joxer shook his head, he had a feeling he knew the answer to that question
---
"Father?" Zeus took his head out of the barrel of wine and looked up. When confronted by a figure he knew but had honestly forgotten he unwound his scroll and peered at it. Satisfied he rolled it back up.
"Athena" she didn't look happy, she was making a very unattractive 'I've just sucked a lemon' face.
"Where's Hera"
"Oh she has important things to do dear, I expect she's mingling" this didn't appear to be the answer his daughter was looking for.
"Maybe I can help?" Athena didn't look optimistic. Children these days, honestly some of his had no manners at all. Maybe if he smiled a little wider? No that didn't appear to be helping. Athena was now looking over his head.
"Why is there a mortal here?" Zeus's grin stretched even wider.
"Joxer! Oh you must say hello, he's absolutely precious" Athena pulled an even tighter lemon face.
"Mingling with mortals, does Hera know" Zeus chuckled.
"Hera invited him, especially, after he helped so much" oh now his daughter looked confused.
"Helped with what?"
"And he's so good for Ares, and look what he did for my poor babies, they're so happy, happier than ever"
"Ares?...who, who's better?"
"Don't frown so Athena, I'm sure Ares will explain everything if you ask him nicely." He patted her cheek much to her obvious chagrin.
"Who knows maybe Joxer can help you too!" Zeus picked up his mugs and wandered back to the thrones. Hera wasn't mad at him, not really, and if she was a little, well he had more mini pastries stashed in his robe. He vaguely heard his daughter behind him.
"Who's Joxer?!!"
---
Joxer decided this was the oddest, most confusing day of his life.
"You're my best friend!" Joxer sighed and shifted Ares weight slightly more across his left shoulder.
Then briefly leant against a wall to get his breath back.
"Ok" he offered, now where the hell was Ares temple. He'd gotten lost somewhere by the pond and to be brutally honest all of Olympus looked the same! If he saw one more arch over a set of black double doors he was going to do something really bad. This was so not happening! Ares was wasted, completely wasted. To make matters worse Zeus had suggested Joxer go home and put Ares to bed! In front of...well everyone that was still at the party and conscious. Now he was lost and Ares didn't seem to care, in fact it was almost as if he was purposefully not helping.
"You're my best friend and I love you!" Joxer sighed and staggered a few more steps. That made it roughly thirty times.
"I love you too now will you please just point me in the right direction or something." Ares chuckled and Joxer realised with a inner groan that he was being drooled on.
"Ares I can't find your temple" more insane chuckling in his ear.
"You wanna help me here?!" Ares seemed more inclined to try and slide down Joxer's back. He bent slightly and caught the God under the ribcage. They were not gonna end up on the floor in a heap again.
"Oh no you don't" he had to pause for a minute to get a better grip around Ares waist. Sweaty hands were not the best thing to try and hold leather.
"Ares, please!" another chuckle and Ares waved vaguely in the direction of a set of double doors.
"Oh thank you" Ares was getting decidedly heavier. He was also singing a little under his breath. When Joxer realised what it was he had to chuckle.
"I wish I was Joxer the bloody mighty! You weigh a ton" Ares obediently tried to shift away slightly.
"Are you squissshhhed, I can walk" Ares tugged himself upright. Joxer had roughly three seconds to grope feverishly behind him. Then there was a very loud crash then a thud, seconds later a crack and a muffled groan. Joxer closed his eyes then opened them, turned around to be confronted by the very prone form of Ares. Collapsed, utterly senseless.
"Shit!"
Title: Making Connections 19 : The Morning After
Author: Corona
Rating: NC-17 (I think)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Xena/? Cupid/Strife
Warning: Some rude bits, some not so rude bits and some more lechery
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 19 sequel to You are Cordially Invited Part 4
Summary: Yep it's the Morning after the night before.
Xena focused uncertainly on the ceiling. It was a big ceiling, very high. Which was odd since she'd slept outside for the last few weeks. It was a little overdone as ceilings went, lots of domes and arches and swirly bits. She couldn't see much because it was still dark. Gabrielle was suspiciously absent, which was also odd, because since they'd started sleeping together they'd never slept apart. So Gabrielle was missing, and her head felt like a ton of bricks had landed on it. Which was really no worse than concussion, she could deal with that.
She had a feeling something had happened last night, something important. Hadn't Ares shown up and...her face slowly paled.
Party...Ares...Joxer...wine...Gods...Oh Gods.
She sat up abruptly, let the sheet fall wherever, until of course she realised she was utterly naked. How the hell had that happened, she never slept naked, too many evil things trying to sneak up on her all the time. She shifted, someone mumbled, she froze. Her hand strayed out behind her, landed on something solid with a slap.
Judging by the tension of the skin a hipbone, and there was no way on this earth it was Gabrielle's. She prodded and the skin shifted.
"Hn" her eyebrows flew up, her hand froze and the sheet dropped. She turned around and yanked the sheet all the way back.
"Oh Fuck!" sprawled totally naked on the other side of the bed, was Apollo.
---
"Ares? Ares?" the world was shaking, no he was shaking, no actually he was being shaken. He attempted to open an eye and got a very close up view of the hand that slapped him. He frowned
"Ow" at least Joxer looked contrite, a little.
"Finally, I thought you were never going to wake up" turning his head was an experience.
"Ow" he offered again, Joxer had the grace to colour.
"Sorry" then long arms were sliding round him and levering him to a sit. He really would rather have not.
"How do you feel?"
"Like roadkill" he answered truthfully.
"I've been trying to wake you forever" Joxer handed him a mug of something. It tasted a lot like chocolate. He frowned into it, then drained it.
When his head stopped trying to develop a second personality he looked around.
"Why am I in Strife's temple?" Joxer glared settled himself next to Ares, skidded a little before anchoring his fingers in the silk.
"It was the closest place to where you passed out" Ares didn't remember passing out. He didn't remember drinking enough to make him stagger let alone lay him out flat.
"I think the two Gods put something in the wine" Ares head turned minutely.
"Which two Gods?" Joxer threw his hands up.
"I don't know, one was odd looking, sort of hunched, spiky blonde hair. The other was a girl, pretty, black hair, very thin."
"Deimos and Phobos" Ares offered. Debated telling his son that Joxer had rendered him female. No, that could wait til after he tore a strip off of both of them.
"Probably" Joxer fidgeted, he'd apparently realised his mistake as well. Ares sighed and nudged Joxer with a shoulder.
"Are you ok?" Joxer smiled instantly.
"Yeah I slept some, over there" he waved indicating the other side of the bed.
"I hope Strife won't mind" Ares briefly wondered where Strife was. If memory served him right probably draped naked over his son.
"Oh and Xena's vanished, at least she's not in your temple. Which I finally found by the way. Which was a whole new adventure. Though I did see Hermes in her clothes. Well mostly out of her clothes" Joxer blushed and picked at the end of a sleeve.
"He propositioned me" Ares raised an eyebrow, it wouldn't do to have the other Gods trying to steal Joxer. He made a note to have a growl at Hermes too.
"Hermes tries it on with everyone, and yes he really is the fastest God on Olympus"
"Ares!" Joxer smacked him.
Ares wobbled and made an unpleasant noise. He looked at Joxer again and had an uncertain moment of recall.
"Joxer?"
"Hmm"
"Did I do...or say anything weird" Joxer blinked, face a completely innocent mask.
"No"
"No?" a head-shake
"No, but you have an excellent singing voice" Ares dropped his head into his hands and groaned.
---
Strife woke up when a toe poked him in the ear. He flailed with an arm until there was a satisfying grunt of pain and the offending digit was retracted. That always worked and it saved him from having to wake up too much. Especially this morning, because he felt like he'd been trampled by a herd of elephants. He wasn't comfortable and there were feathers in his nose but hey he'd slept through worse. That was of course until he was kicked. Which forced his eyes to open when they really didn't want to.
He was nearly driven blind by the sheet, which was a rather offensive shade of white. He burrowed back into the flesh of his elbow, then he was kicked again. He snarled, someone was going to get it, depending on who he'd ended up in bed with. He shuffled onto his back and his mouth slowly opened. Through a defensive squint he could see that he wasn't being kicked and he was in Cupid's temple, in Cupid's bed. Well mostly in Cupid's bed. The God himself was sprawled the other way up, wings spread. They were...flapping, that was quite possibly the only word he could use to describe it. Moving up and down, he hadn't been high enough to be in the downdraft but he'd got walloped on every pull.
'Wow' that was quite possibly the coolest thing he'd ever seen. Hypnotic, pretty, definitely erotic. It was the whole feather thing. He frowned as his mind struggled to replay what he'd done last night. He suspected Deimos and Phobos had been at the wine because he knew exactly how much he'd drunk and it was in no way enough to turn him into a gibbering, drooling fool.
So Cupid was naked and asleep and looking totally delicious. Screw the headache there were more important things at hand. He clambered the other way round and ducked under a wing until he could sprawl across Cupid's thighs, a mumble was the only reaction he got so he let his weight settle there. Gods he was hot, like a mini furnace, maybe it was all the love vibes. His skin was almost frozen in comparison. He let a hand settled on Cupid's lower back and waited for a response, nothing.
Geesh he hoped Cupe hadn't drunk that much or he'd be left to play with himself. He stifled a chuckle and slid his hand lower. Eased it infinitely slowly across tanned buttocks, he could always stop here of course. He dug in slightly peered underneath the wing, which was still scattering things back and forth across the floor. He grinned and drew all his fingers down Cupid's inner thigh. There was a twitch, 'result' he thought with a grin and lowered his head to chew on the thin skin of a hip bone. The wings stuttered and came to a stop.
'Any minute now' Strife slid his mouth over the curve of one perfect buttock and bit down. There was a startled yelp and a full body flinch.
"You little-"
"Ah ah ah" Strife settled a knee into Cupid's spine and weaved his way between the wings, splaying them wide enough to look painful. He rested a forehead against the back of Cupid's neck. The elder God tilted his head until one sleepy eye was facing him.
"Does this hurt?" Cupid shook his head awkwardly.
"It looks kinda cool, like when people pin insects to stuff" Strife was completely unprepared for both wings to come together suddenly and nearly break all his ribs. He collapsed, coughed. "Shit I didn't know you could do that!" Cupid let his wings lay flat.
"Wanna see what else I can do?" Strife wiggled around on Cupid's back.
"Oh Yeah"
There was a flash of movement and a small cloud of feathers, then Strife was pinned by a very warm very aroused Love God. Like he wasn't expecting that. Though it was nice to be surprised every once in while. Cupid leant down and bit his chin hard.
"Ow" strike one for surprise, oh and Cupid didn't look contrite at all.
"You bast-" he was muffled abruptly, though in an entirely pleasurable way. In fact when Cupid's tongue found a particularly sensitive spot on the bottom of his own he was quite happy to never talk again.
Cupid pulled back, was totally snared by the wide eyed panting look Strife was giving him. He released his wrists so he could slide his hands down over shoulders and torso. Which were both unbelievably soft and muscled like a greyhound. His hands traveled lower and Strife made a little growly noise when they reached his hips.
He didn’t resist when Cupid parted his legs. Though he did tremble slightly when a finger eased inside him. He gave a tiny hiss which turned into a gasp when it twisted and went deeper. Cupid stretched across the taut bare flesh underneath him, opened his mouth around a nipple, a second finger joining the first inside Strife. His cousin groaned thickly, legs trembling, toes clenched in the sheet.
“Cupe...please” Cupid bit down hard enough to bruise, other hand at his shoulder, squeezing tightly.
“Cupe...Oh Gods...I want.” He thrust upwards purposefully, erection now thudding against Cupid's own.
“Oh Gods” Strife's legs spread wider still, curled around Cupid's back and tugged him forwards. He gasped, snapped a vial of oil. It was warm against his hands, fire on his oversensitive cock.
Impatiently the younger god raised his hips, pulled Cupid down until he pressed insistently against the entrance to his body. He gave a short sigh when he pushed, then an exquisite groan when he thrust inside.
“Fuck...Oh Gods you’re beautiful” Cupid clutched the pale thighs wrapped round him. Such intense heat, vice tightness, squeezing him almost to pain. His eyes rolled in his head and he shuddered thickly.
“Oh Gods...Strife” he arched at his name, driving Cupid deeper. There was no way he could refuse that, pushed hard. Strife snapped taut head surging into the pillows.
“Yes” Cupid picked up the pace, watching in rapt fascination as Strife squirmed, clutched at the sheets. Nothing had ever looked so amazing. He gasped suddenly, Cupid leant forward and he whimpered in desperation.
“Look at me” Cupid said softly, Strife opened his eyes, looked at him, came on a throaty groan
“Cupe” he gasped breathlessly and Cupid gave a short startled cry as his own orgasm was jerked out of him almost painfully. He couldn't stop the complete and total collapse.
For a few minutes, short pants and the occasional giggle were the only sounds in the room. "Cupe"
"Hmm"
"Can't breath"
"Then don't"
"Ok"
---
"Apollo look...It didn't happen, ok." Xena was feeling oddly stable now, even standing here in Apollo's temple, sheet wrapped round her bosom. It couldn't have been anyone else. Oh no the world hated her far too much to land her in the sack with anyone else. There was a small chuckle,
"Hey I didn't hear you complaining If you really hated it you'd be throwing stuff at me or doing the screaming flipping thing, or...telling Ares." Now this was just weird.
Apollo had woken up, spent five minutes in gaping disbelief, five minutes in uncertain anxiety, then the next twenty trying to get a repeat performance. She'd finally managed to get him sat still, almost wearing a sheet.
"Apollo you're really starting to piss me off, All I wanna do is get out of here. Where are my clothes" a minute of silence.
"Last thing I remember Hermes was wearing them" Xena frowned, strangely enough she did have a memory of a slender blonde guy in her entire outfit. She dragged something off the floor which looked suspiciously like the remains of whatever Apollo had been wearing. She dropped it with a depressed sigh.
"You do realise I have no memory whatsoever of last night don't you!" Apollo grinned.
"We could fix that, you can even bite me again if you like" she kicked the hand that was trying to peel her sheet away.
"Don't even!" she glared at him, then sat on the bed with a grunt, didn't miss Apollo edging closer. Oh for the love of...
"Don't you ever stop! It's not even light yet!"
"AWH SHIT!" Apollo dropped the sheet. Sprang to his feet and was clothed in an instant. "Mom's gonna ride my arse" Xena clicked stood as well, sighed in relief
"Go, do the sun thing, I'll leave in the damn sheet if I have to!" he jerked some strange things out of a box and tugged them over his head. Xena edged backwards out of the way so he could do God things. He tilted his head over his shoulder.
"So Xena about next time-"
"No" she said simply. He shrugged resignedly grinned. He was halfway to the door when she spotted his helmet.
"Apollo, forgetting something?" he gave her an odd look, then strode back. She was too shocked to protest when he looped an arm around her waist jerked her upwards and kissed her, then kissed her some more. Then he set her down.
"You were amazing" he whispered, then he was gone.
Xena managed to collapse back on the bed, cleared her throat, blinked. I am not going to blush, I'm way too old to be doing that. She picked the sheet up off the floor and wrapped it back round herself. Gabrielle never told her she was amazing.
Title: Making Connections 20 : The Morning After Part 2
Author: Corona
Rating: R (probably)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Xena/Apollo, Discord/Artemis,
Warning: Some rude bits (technically incest), some not so rude bits and some more lechery.
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 20 sequel to The Morning After Part 1
Summary: It's still the Morning after the night before.
Discord rolled over, straight into someone else. Her eyes sprang open. 'Ok who's in my bed!' She untangled herself from the sheet, found she was staring at a mass of brown hair. Hair which smelt of coconuts, she blinked for a full disbelieving minute, then leant forward until she could see the face.
Artemis was asleep, one hand curled underneath her head. Discord made a short squeaky noise. One green eye slid open then tilted to regard her. Against all probability Artemis smiled. Then reached over with a hand and tugged Discord downwards. She managed a short groan before Artemis actually kissed her. Which was unexpected, but very nice, Artemis lips were so incredibly soft, and agile and exciting. Oh that was last night. Oh my God last night, she pulled away and blinked at her new lover.
"Good Morning Eris" her natural suspicion kicked in at that amused look.
"Is it?" Artemis rolled her eyes and took hold of Discord's shoulder. Slid a leg between hers and rolled, pinning the smaller woman effortlessly. Discord gasped a desperate breath as naked Artemis managed to cover just about every inch of her.
"Exceedingly" Discord knew she was gaping like a dork. Couldn't bring herself to care much.
Tentatively she wrapped both arms around the elder Goddess and let her hands settle on warm hips. Artemis purred and gave a little wiggle. Discord lurched upwards and caught Artemis lips again.
When Artemis pulled back she was grinning. She flexed a knee, then pushed. Discords legs slid apart then instantly wound round her sisters waist. Artemis wiggled downwards, chuckling throatily when Discord whimpered. She found a nipple and kissed it, then nipped lightly. Discord growled.
"I'm hungry" Artemis explained huskily. Discord raised an eyebrow.
"Then get some breakfast" Another one of those delightful throaty chuckles.
"Sweetie you are breakfast"
---
"Where in Tartarus am I going!" Xena stopped in the middle of a very long corridor. One of Calliope's dresses floating around her knees, it was the only one that had fit her but unfortunately Calliope was a good deal shorter than her so she was left looking like an idiot. Which she was not happy about. She'd actually yelled for Ares a few times, which provoked a very loud and annoyed female voice to scream 'shut up'. Didn't however make Ares appear. You'd think after being yanked from town to Olympus then promptly given Olympian wine, then managing to wake up with the one God she'd personally love to throttle. Someone would be feeling a little guilty. She was just feeling lost,
"Screw this!" she spun on her heel and made her way back to Apollo's temple. At least she knew where that was. At least until someone decided to actually get up and send her home. She had a few questions she'd be asking Joxer as well. Because the last time she'd seen him he'd been talking to Discord and Strife. People were supposed to tell heroes things like that. She assumed she was still a hero. Though she was pretty sure Hercules had never woken up in bed with Apollo. That smug, arrogant, conniving, smarmy little bastard.
She threw open the doors and stomped back into the temple. Stopped dead when she realised he was back. Lounging at the table, like the God that he was, eating breakfast. He looked surprised to see her, which was almost amusing. Well she was damn well going to demand he take her home right now! If that didn't work she'd hit him a few times and go out wandering again. She went right up to the table and settled her hands on her hips.
"This place is a maze! Yes I know the dress is too short. I can't find a door that leads outside. Everyone's asleep dammit. Now if you're quite finished can I get-" she stopped when her stomach growled loudly. Apollo raised an eyebrow, then wordlessly lifted the slice of melon he was holding.
---
"What the-" Ares poked his temple doors, which creaked, and juddered open like they were a billion years old. Both handles were hanging off and the lock looked like someone had taken a hammer to it.
No correction, a Chakram.
"Look what she did to my doors!" Joxer squeezed past him.
"They were like that earlier, I told you she got out"
"You didn't tell me she smashed her way out like an elephant" Joxer prodded the doors, which creaked.
"Wow, she must have really wanted to get out" Ares sidled round the swinging door and made a very annoyed sound.
"Tell me about it!"
Some knotted sheets were very visible strewn across the floor. Though Xena must have realised half way through that six silk sheets were neither going to hold her weight or stretch down a few thousand feet. Then she'd apparently tried to go through the ceiling. Two of the pillars had vertical slashes in them all the way to the roof and there were small piles of ceiling missing, well not technically missing. They were now collected on the floor. After that it was a toss up whether she'd tried to use an entire table as a battering ram or a crowbar. There wasn't much left of it to tell.
"Look at this place, It's a wreck"
"Do you want me to-" Ares waved a hand.
"-Help" the room had been flashed to it's former brilliance.
"Never mind" in addition to the room being in it's former sparkly state there now appeared to be a table full of breakfast. He gave a groan of pure pleasure.
"Breakfast" Ares chuckled and pulled Joxer's chair out.
"I'm starving" Ares threw himself into the chair next to him.
"I thought you might be, see I'm actually remembering these things. You have to give me points for that." Joxer raised an eyebrow from above an loaf of bread.
"You lost a few last night by drooling down my neck." Ares groaned.
"Well then you gained a few for letting me" they both laughed, until Joxer realised that laughing prevented eating.
"So what did you think of the party?" Joxer made a short amused sound.
"It was an experience. I didn't know so many Gods knew who I was" Ares put his feet up on the chair across from him.
"To be honest neither did I. Though I did overhear Heph telling Demeter who you were." Joxer's plate rattled, he looked up and caught Ares smirk.
"It's too early to joke like that, I nearly had a heart attack"
"Talking of heart attack did you see Mom's face when my father asked her to dance" Joxer nearly choked on a biscuit.
---
That damn ceiling was mocking her again! Now she could even see it clearly because the sun was glaring straight at it. Domes and arches and lots of other pointless architectural additions. She glared at it and smacked away the hand that was currently drawing patterns across her stomach. So here she was flat on her back again, naked, again. Desperately trying to decide which mythical monster had stolen her mind. She shifted and several plates clattered to the floor. "Shit" Apollo propped his head up on his hand, the bastard was grinning at her.
"Get off me!" 'she had to get out of here' the weight left her slowly and Apollo sprawled back in his chair. He looked uncharacteristically pissed. Xena sat up and covered herself artistically with a large fruit bowl.
"Don't tell me, I know the drill...It didn't happen" Xena deemed not to answer.
---
"Hrrgnn cengna yui guyni" Ares blinked
"I never understood a word of that" Joxer rolled his eyes, chewed, then swallowed.
"I said where is Xena anyway?" Ares frowned, then shrugged
"I expect she's around somewhere, it's not like she can get home, unless a God dropped her off" 'Or she fell out of a window' the thought wasn't a nice one so Joxer shoved it aside.
"Do you think she's alright?" Ares actually waited until he finished what was in his mouth before he answered.
"She probably just fell asleep in a corridor somewhere" Joxer didn't like the idea of Xena passed out in some drafty corridor. Ares must have caught the look.
"I can send someone to look for her if you want?" Joxer glanced up from prodding what was left of his breakfast.
"Would you?"
"No problem" Joxer breathed a sigh of relief and went looking for a knife to spread jam with.
"Knife...knife" one appeared on his plate with a muted flash.
"Eeep, oh thanks, I keep forgetting you can do that" Ares was blinking at him in startled surprise.
"I didn't"
---
Xena contemplated the nature of religion. You found a God, or Gods. You worshipped them, mostly never saw them, blamed every shitty thing in your life on them, then you died. You certainly weren't supposed to get drunk and screw one of them. It was probably against the rules, and that, well she could at least blame that on Olympian wine. However, doing them again over breakfast, that had to be the mark of a bad worshipper. Awh what the fuck did it matter, she'd never worshipped Apollo in her life. So technically he wasn't even her God.
"Xena?" she very nearly spun around in fighting stance, until she realised she vaguely recognised that voice. She turned, considered fleeing, then changed her mind and rearranged Calliope's dress.
"Hera" was she going to be murdered before she left Olympus or after? All the screaming and flipping in the world wouldn't phase the queen of the Gods.
"I was just leaving" Hera's lips twitched. 'You are gonna let me leave cos quite frankly Hera I think I've lost my mind. Several times over'
"I'm afraid there are some matters which need to be discussed" Hera's gaze flickered over her briefly.
"In fact there are several" Xena frowned.
"Matters?"
Hera clucked her tongue.
"You're so suspicious, I'm afraid you get that from me" then to Xena's utter shock the queen of the Gods looped an arm around Xena's waist and turned her around. Xena followed without tugging, figured it was the smart thing to do.
"Where are we going?" Hera smiled.
"My temple would probably be best"
Title: Making Connections 21 : Breakfast
Author: Corona
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Xena/Apollo Cupid/Strife Discord/Artemis
Warning: Some naughty language and shouting
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 21 sequel to The Morning After Part 2
Summary: Conversations over breakfast and surprises from friends.
Xena was led into an enormous temple done in blue, the ceiling looked like the sky and the walls were an odd peachy colour. Strangely she'd been expecting sacrificed animals and chains, the occasional scream. She wasn't sure why, since Hera was the Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth.
"Don't look so worried Xena, please sit down" Xena didn't stop looking worried but she did sit on the long couch. Hera perched on an Ottoman across from her and smiled. There was no screeching or feathers at all connected with that smile, not that Xena was up to being menaced, she had the horrible suspicion she'd burst into tears.
"Are you alright dear, I know your head must feel like a bad day in Tartarus" Xena fidgeted, Hera was being nice. Something was horribly wrong, horribly awfully wrong.
"Don't be distressed, you are my granddaughter after all. I look after all my family" Xena wanted to fidget some more but refused to look like a child.
"Look...Hera...I really just want to leave" Hera leant forward slightly and patted Xena's hand.
"I know you do dear, unfortunately my husband has made things a little complicated." Xena frowned, she thought Hera was the one that made things complicated, killed people and so forth.
"You see once told that you and Ares didn't get along he decided you just needed to spend some time together" Hera leant forward slightly.
"He made you a Goddess" Xena blinked,
"Excuse me?"
"He made you a Goddess, Joxer too, though I don't begrudge him at all. I've grown quite fond of him, as has my husband."
"I'm a Goddess?"
"Yes...cake" Hera produced a tray from out of nowhere. Xena was torn between refusing a cake and having Hera mad, or taking a cake and possibly being poisoned. In the end she politely declined.
"Well take it off, I don't want to be a Goddess. I'm a hero, it's against the rules to be a Goddess" Hera raised an eyebrow smiled softly.
"I'm sure you're right. But you see there's a problem. I can't make you mortal, not now" Xena goggled.
"Why?" Hera delicately set the tray down on a small table.
"Because you're pregnant"
The queen of the Gods moved just fast enough to catch twin armfuls of unconscious warrior princess.
"Really, mortals just faint at the drop of a hat."
//Asclepius, could you come to my temple please, as soon as possible//
---
Joxer peered at the knife, nearly jumped out of his skin when the mended doors burst open.
"Morning!" Discord sauntered through like the queen of the world. She looked smug, but not half as smug as the Goddess clinging to her hand with all the tenacity of a tiger.
"Hello again Joxer" Artemis waved. Ares gestured and took his feet off of the chair.
"Breakfast? It's already made" Discord didn't have to be asked twice she tugged out a chair next to Joxer, to his faint surprise, and starting pulling assorted foods towards her.
"I'm starved" Artemis slid in next to her. It looked very much like she was trying not to blush. Discord couldn't help but make additions to Joxer's plate as well.
"You're way too thin, Ares you feeding this boy?"
"Joxer's fine Eris, aren't you Joxer?" he fiddled with a napkin.
"Yes, He's feeding me...thank you Discord" she nudged him with an elbow, spilling the mug he was holding.
"Call me Eris" he bug-eyed slightly, then shook his head and smiled.
"Eris" she appeared to be satisfied, she stopped piling food on his plate for a start.
"You're staying for a while?" he had a feeling that was a statement not a question.
"Umm"
"Of course he is" Ares stopped, shook his head.
"What I meant was, you're welcome to"
"Sure he will" it was Artemis who spoke, she looked up from delicately buttering half a cake.
"You can't leave yet." she appeared to realise everyone was looking at her.
"Eris has told me all about you. I was hoping to see you around for while" Joxer had a sudden urge to slide down in his chair. He thought morning afters' were places full of angry people with headaches. Not cheerful breakfast eating people who wanted him to move in and stay for all eternity. He was overwhelmed, strangely euphoric. All these people liking him. It was too much this early.
A flash heralded more company. Strife didn't even bother waiting for an invitation.
"Oooh breakfast, shift over Art" Cupid settled himself more sedately next to his cousin.
"Hey Dad, Jox, Eris, Art" Ares tossed them both napkins.
"You look ruffled" Discord pointed out, Cupid to everyone's surprise went red.
"Don't you start" Strife merely chuckled.
"Oi" Discord slapped one of her son's hands, which was currently trying to steal the last egg from her plate.
"Get your own, my responsibility for feeding you ended a few centuries ago thank you." Strife looked hurt then peered around the table to see if anyone else would be willing to part with whatever he fancied.
He waited until Joxer was looking at Artemis then leant across the table and stole his. Then was promptly smacked round the back of the head by Ares.
"Hey! Are you mortal? No, put that bloody egg back."
"I've actually finished" Joxer offered, not wanting to start an argument round the breakfast table.
"Salt? Ares how can you make breakfast without salt!" Discord flashed her own.
"So Jox, how ya doing" Joxer peered round Discord until he could actually see Cupid.
"I'm fine...I got here eventually"
"You should have just left Ares in the corridor, most everyone else would" Discord pointed out, waving a fork for emphasis.
"Joxer isn't everyone else, he's much better" Ares growled.
"How did you know that anyway?"
"Zeus" Artemis offered peering round Discords shoulder.
"He told us about the singing too" Ares went faintly red.
"I am going to kill Deimos and Phobos" he chuckled and shoved a bowl aside until he could look at his son.
"Joxer tell everyone how you described my second youngest son" Joxer went red and jabbed around with his fork.
"No, don't tell everyone" Cupid made a noise and waved a slice of fruit.
"I bet he thought Phobos was a girl! Tartarus when I look at him in the right light even I think he's a girl! Pretty hot girl at that" he shrank in his chair slightly when Strife started growling.
"Strife!" Joxer figured he'd help Cupid out.
"You were gonna show Cupid your sculpture!"
"Yeah" Discord pointed out, rising and clambering out from the table. She stopped to pull Artemis chair out for her.
"I want to see the stone monster!" Cupid looked up.
"You actually finished it?" Strife shrugged,
"Yeah"
"I want to see" Artemis proclaimed. Ares took his feet off the table again and waited for Joxer to clamber out as well before they all made their way over to the sheet covered mystery against the wall.
Strife jiggled over to it.
"Anyone who laughs is gonna find themselves on the business end of a pointy object. Strife whipped off the sheet. Ares and Joxer, who'd already seen it, held their breath. Discord whistled, Artemis made a short impressed sound. Cupid gaped.
"Holy Shit it's me!"
"Duh"
"I thought it would be..." Strife wrapped his arms around Cupids waist and awkwardly manoeuvred his head onto a shoulder.
"An armless monster?"
"Something like that"
"But it's good. It's better than good it's me!" Strife rolled his eyes.
"Geesh don't sound too surprised!"
That was about the moment that a figure came storming through the doors. Stopped and made a beeline towards Joxer, shoving a very surprised God of Mischief out of the way.
"Xena!" He wasn't expecting a hug, but the shaking, well that was uncalled for.
"Joxer! You have to get me the Tartarus out of here!"
"Xena, look stop shaking Joxer. Where have you been? What are you wearing? Why are you wearing one of Calliope's dresses? " Xena stopped shaking Joxer long enough to glare at her father.
"Hermes stole my clothes" she went right back to shaking him.
"I refuse to be here, I refuse to be a Goddess and I refuse to be PREGNANT!"
"Huh?"
"WHAT!"
"Whoah"
"I'm gonna side with Joxer on the 'Huh?'" Xena ignored them all.
"I have to talk to you"
"But!"
"Now Joxer please!!"
Ares twitched his head in the direction of his bedroom, though it was clear he wasn't happy about his daughter pulling surprises like that and not explaining. Joxer would tell him though and it probably wasn't safe to let his daughter rave around Discord and Strife. She actually gave him a desperate yet grateful glance and yanked Joxer away.
"Think we'll stick around for a while" Cupid offered. Strife just grinned and nodded from behind Cupid's shoulder. Discord and Artemis, without a word, made themselves comfortable on the couch.
---
Xena tugged Joxer into Ares bedroom and slammed the doors, then she leant against them. "Are you ok?" Xena did the glare of death.
"Ok stupid question, are you going to be ok?"
"No yesterday I was a warrior and today I'm a pregnant Goddess, I feel lousy" Joxer went with instinct and tentatively wrapped his arms around her. He was honestly expecting a thump, maybe even one of those neck things. Which was why he was left gaping in shock when Xena fisted her hands in his shirt and slumped against him.
"Why do these things happen to me!" she growled.
"I can't just be normal can I, there's always some fucking higher plan or something. Why can't I just go live on a farm with sheep and chickens"
Joxer sent nervous glances around the room. Well that was helpful, he rubbed a few small circles across Xena's back.
"Er well maybe you could do the farm thing later"
"Not funny Joxer" she paused
"Did you know Zeus is senile?" Joxer cleared his throat.
"Yes" a groan and a further slump into his chest, leaving her voice muffled.
"It was Ares wasn't it, my father wrote the damn scrolls" Xena threw herself onto her fathers bed.
Joxer had no choice but to crawl up it after her.
"Are you sure you're pregnant?" Xena gave him a scathing look.
"You think Hera could be wrong! Ok so even I figured it might be some huge practical joke, until Hera actually showed me. Then Asclepius congratulated me!"
"Ow"
"I know, I was there"
"I wouldn't be in this mess if not for Zeus. Apparently he decided since me and Ares didn't get along he'd make sure I had plenty of time to get to know each other" ‘Oh dear’ Joxer thought quietly.
"He made you a Goddess"
"He made me a Goddess" and boy Xena was not happy about it.
"I tried to make Hera take it off but she can't"
"Because you're pregnant?"
"Exactly" Joxer shook his head.
"Wow this is...wow"
"What are you going to do?"
"What are we going to do" she corrected. Joxer frowned
"Huh?"
"I'm not the only one who's divine. Zeus apparently likes you a little more than you thought, cos he made you a God too." Xena watched Joxer sway faintly, then hit the cushions.
"Joxer? Joxer! Oh that's just fabulous!" she waited a few minutes, then slapped him. He opened his eyes and squeaked.
"Joxer! priorities, I'm the one that's divinely knocked up" he groaned as Xena tugged him upright.
"What the Tartarus am I gonna do! Next thing you know I'll have to go tell Apollo."
"What's Apollo got to do with it?" Joxer didn't feel quite so quick since discovering his unforeseen Godliness. Xena folded her arms.
"You might wanna think on that for a minute"
"Oh...my"
"Yeah, now who's gonna tell that smarmy blonde excuse for a God that I'm carrying his children!"
Title: Making Connections 22 : Conclusion
Author: Corona
Rating: PG (I think)
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Xena/Apollo Joxer/Ares
Warning: Mostly harmless, not frightening at all. Maybe a naughty word or two.
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections 22 sequel to Breakfast
Summary: Ooooh resolution of cliff-hanger ending, What's a gal to do?
"Apollo! Get your arse in here now!" Ares waited arms folded until his brother appeared in a flash that nearly blinded Joxer. He looked...suspicious, not surprising considering Strife was laughing his arse off. Xena was still hiding in Ares bedroom, Cupid had gone in after Joxer appeared with his mini-proclamation. Artemis and Discord were standing either side of Ares. Hands fisted on hips doing a perfect pissed sister routine. Joxer just lurked at Ares shoulder.
Apollo flung up his hands.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Ares snatched Apollo up by his perfect lapels. "You got my daughter pregnant that's what's going on" Apollo blinked.
"Which one?" Ares released one lapel to pull back a fist. Which was promptly caught and hung on to by Joxer.
"No Ares, Xena will be really mad if you hit him" the arm relaxed. Apollo snorted.
"What? Xena? She's not a Goddess" Ares grinned
"Wanna bet?" Apollo sagged
"Oh Tartarus"
---
"What do you want?" Cupid shuffled up the bed a little so that he could peer into Xena's face. Warily, since Xena wasn't so much a woman who would cry on his shoulder as wrench it out of it's socket, he laid a hand on her back. There was no growl so he scrunched down a bit more. "Xena?"
"I'm not talking to you, I'm not talking to anyone!" she burrowed more thoroughly under the pillows.
"Xena you're gonna have to come out some time" this time there was a growl and her head tilted enough to narrow an eye at him. Hey he was brave he could do this.
"Dad's out there throttling his brother for you?" Xena peered upwards.
"For me? Ares hates me!" Cupid made a rude noise.
"He doesn't hate you" Xena shoved herself to a sit, forcing Cupid to lean back out of angry range.
"He's really throttling Apollo?" Cupid nodded
"He's chewing him out something fierce" Xena scowled
"I have to talk to him!"
"Sure Dad's waiting" Xena scowled and hit him on the arm.
"Not now, I'm not going out there. He's out there" Cupid rolled his eyes.
"He's not gonna do anything" Xena threw up her hands, sending most of her dress with them. "But I might! If he hadn't gone to make the sun rise this morning..." she stopped blinked.
"How anyone could give that job to Apollo I'll never know" Cupid laughed.
"Well he is probably the smartest God after Athena" Xena gave him a flat blank look.
"You are kidding, Mr 'rock formation' hairdo" Cupid counted off on his fingers.
"Hello Philosopher's, Musicians, Doctors, Alchemists" Xena frowned.
"He's not an idiot?" Cupid shook his head.
"He's a little shallow but he's quicker than a snake, and when he's in the mood the nicest God I know, and he'll do anything for his kids"
"Nice, he's a toad!" Cupid leant back against the cushions.
"Don't know much about Apollo do ya" Xena scowled, obviously not happy about having her rant deflated.
"The fact that he's letting Ares ride him over this says you mean something to him."
"Free sex?"
"Y'think? Trust me the one thing Apollo has enough of is lovers"
"Not helping!" she snapped.
"Just talk to him, you might actually be surprised" Cupid stood up.
"Do I have to?" he rolled his eyes.
"Well you could conduct the entire conversation through semaphore but hey we're all Gods here, aren't we" she groaned and threw herself back into the cushions.
---
Xena looked up, straight into what looked like the hanging gardens of Babylon, she blinked. The flowers moved to one side, to reveal a rather uncomfortable looking Apollo. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"You probably don't wanna come near me right now. I'm a Goddess, I'm pregnant, I'm pissed and it's all your fault." Apollo blinked and sat down.
"Yeah, I know" Xena peered at him, he looked harassed. He set the flowers in her lap.
"What am I going to do with flowers?" Apollo shrugged.
"I dunno, whatever women usually do, put them in a vase, look at them" he shrugged, that appeared to be the extent of his expertise in the matter.
"I'm not really a flower person" she fixed her scowl on him. He lifted his hands.
"Look Xena, you're not the kind of woman I usually...go for"
"Goddess, pregnant, pissed" she reminded him.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to it" he shuffled
"But you're class, scary, but the real thing and I look after my kids, I don't spread Demigods around the place like some people" Xena raised an eyebrow,
"No offence, seriously though come back to my temple?" Xena scowled
"Why?" Apollo frowned.
"Because it's huge, and it's mostly empty when the muses aren't there. It's right up the long corridor from Ares. So you can go boss with your Dad if you get freaked. Besides I think I kinda want you there." Apollo glanced at his fingernails.
"Oh and Jox can come like whenever, cos everyone tells me he's cool." Xena stood up, then when Apollo simply looked stupid at her she dragged him up to.
"Come on then fool, but first we're going to see Hermes" Apollo in-between grinning and fighting what appeared to be an urge to do something stupid, like kiss her, frowned.
"Why"
"Because he still has my clothes"
---
Joxer slumped next to Ares on the couch.
"Is everyone gone?" Ares looked over his shoulder, then pointedly leant forward and looked under the couch.
"Looks like it." Joxer let out a long breath and slid downwards.
"So I guess I'm staying on Olympus?" Joxer made it a question. He knew Ares really liked him but it was a bit much to become a permanent member of his family. Ares grinned
"Well Dad's determined to keep you around and I think he's taken a shine to his new pregnant granddaughter." Joxer grinned
"I still can't believe she's pregnant" Ares raised an eyebrow
"I can't believe Apollo's the father"
"The whole God things still sinking in too"
"We'll have to find you a vocation"
"And a place to live" Ares turned and scowled.
"I thought you were staying here?" Joxer gave a short nervous laugh.
"You want me to stay here? In your Home Temple?" Ares nodded.
"Yes, Xena's staying in Apollo's"
"Yeah but they..." Joxer waved a hand.
"Y'know" Ares raised an eyebrow.
"Oh you know perfectly well. Oh hey if Xena's staying for a while won't Gabrielle get frantic"
"Taken care of" Joxer looked horrified
"What did you do to Gabrielle!" Ares actually looked hurt.
"I didn't do anything. I know you like the scrawny little creature so I just sent a message saying Xena's busy abroad, doing whatever she does when she goes abroad."
"Oh"
Ares made a noise and two cups appeared, they were fizzing.
"Well since you can drink this now, I think a toast's in order" Ares smiled.
"Grandchildren"
"Family" Joxer offered, they smacked glasses and drank. Then Joxer fiddled with the stem.
"Are you sure you don't mind me being a God?" Ares scoffed and threw his arm around Joxer's shoulder.
"Not in the least, makes you family" Joxer didn't feel convinced. The reason Ares had started to write to him in the first place was because he mostly hated his family. Ok so admittedly he didn't hate them anymore.
"Well mine at least, I'm determined not to let anyone else have you" Joxer raised an eyebrow. "That is such a God thing to say" Ares chuckled.
"You're one to talk, you who appears to have single-handedly brought the Gods of Olympus back into some kind of order" Joxer flushed.
"I did no such thing" Ares raised a hand started counting off on his fingers.
"You helped my father become slightly more sane, you managed to become Hera's favourite, you got my sisters together, you actually found my nephew a hobby, you gave me a life!" Joxer was now hiding behind his cup.
"I didn't do any of that!"
"Oh I see, now you're the God of Denial!" Joxer hit him with the hand not holding the cup.
"Funny" Ares laughed, then laughed harder when Joxer merely sat there looking mad.
Then he stopped laughing, and regarded Joxer thoughtfully. He lifted a hand cupped Joxer's chin and leant in. Joxer froze, stopped breathing completely. His eyes slid shut as Ares lips touched his. Oh God this was never something he'd even imagined. Four months ago when he'd sent that first scroll back. Never have imagined being kissed by the God of War. If this was really happening then he had to be a God. Ares pulled back suddenly, left him blinking and breathless. Ares looked more shocked than Joxer felt.
"Oh...Gods...I shouldn't have done that...I'm sorry"
Joxer took a breath and slid forward, kissed the God of War. Ares jumped wine splattering both of them. A small meaningless noise and heads tilted, mouths opening together. 'Oh wow' and that was the extent of Joxer's higher brain functions. Ares pulled back first, but slowly, regretfully almost.
They breathed quietly for several seconds, then smiled and each other. Ares raised his cup.
"To Making Connections" Joxer copied him, smile growing.
"Making Connections"
Title: Making Connections : Epilogue
Author: Corona
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes, want, ask, take!
Pairing: Er None
Warning: This bit is harmless, floaty even.
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here, I'm just borrowing the characters for harmless purposes. They belong wholly and completely to whoever owns them.
Series: Making Connections the Epilogue sequel to Conclusion
Summary: The very end, it had to be done.
Two Months Later.
Gabrielle nearly went flying when a strange man hit her full tilt.
"Hey" he stopped, panted at her briefly, then checked something he was holding.
"Are you Gabrielle?" she frowned, moved her staff in front of her.
"Who wants to know?" he held his hands up.
"Hey, don't hit me, I'm just a messenger." He held out a scroll.
"I have a message from Xena"
"Xena!" she snatched the scroll and gave the messenger a nasty glare which said very clearly he wasn't getting a tip. With a sigh and a dirty look he jogged away.
"Xena!" Gabrielle practically squealed and tore open the scroll.
Gabrielle,
I'm guessing you're worried about me by now. I know Ares sent a message that I was busy and that I'd be away for a while. Well that was as close to the truth as I wanted to get. I'm writing this from Olympus. To be honest I'm writing it from the halls of War.
I've never been one to waste words so I'm just gonna say it. I'll be staying here for a while. I'm here with Joxer, who's a God now and Personal Advisor to the God of War (promotion imminent). Oh and I'm accidentally a Goddess too, which is kind of a long story, I'm also pregnant. Yet more of the long story I'd much rather tell you in person.
Zeus has invited us both to stay permanently, with Hera's backing. It's a big thing to consider which I haven't really thought about properly yet. Joxer's already decided. Cupid, Strife and Eris are all helping with the redecorating. So Ares is mostly hiding in his sculpting room.
I really would rather have told you this in person but Hera doesn't want a new pregnant Goddess wandering around possibly attempting back flips and spinning kicks. I suppose she's right, though she has a tendency to mother.
Gabrielle I know you'll be shocked and upset but I didn't want you to hear anything from anyone else. I do still love you and I always will. You made me the person I am today as appose to, well dead. But I think we both know it was never going to work the way we had it.
But you're still my best friend and I'm going to find you as soon as the babies are born. I wish you could be here! You'd love the temple I'm in, promise you'll stay where I can find you. Tartarus what am I saying I'll find you wherever you are.
Xena the Warrior Princess
Joxer the Mighty
(Babies)
Gabrielle let the scroll flutter to the ground and made a squeaky noise. Her staff clattered to the ground a second later. Then she flopped to the ground in a small sprawled heap. Xena was a Goddess, Xena was pregnant, Xena had left her and gone to live on Olympus and be pregnant. Joxer was a God, had also left her to go be on Olympus. Xena was pregnant on Olympus, being a Goddess, with her father, who she hated, and Hera who she also hated. Joxer was the God of War's advisor, Xena was on Olympus being pregnant. Who on earth was the father? Mother? Other parent? Gods were weird like that.
It took Gabrielle a while to realise it was dark. By that time she'd narrowed it down to, Xena is pregnant. Technically she'd been dumped. Though people you went through Tartarus and back for could never really go away. Xena still loved her, she'd said so. So if she counted that as a phase that left her with one option. 'My best friend is pregnant' She tried an awkward smile. Which didn't feel horribly painful. So she let it grow slightly.
'My very best friend whom I love more than anything in the whole world is pregnant, she's going to have babies, babies? More than one baby. Divine babies who'll live forever and ever. She jumped to her feet, snatched the staff and the scroll and made her way back to the village. She actually met a couple of villagers coming back the other way and accosted them ferociously. "Ok, what do I get for a pregnant Goddess, who's an ex-lover and my very best friend in the whole world." they weren't very helpful. In fact they ran away.
---
"Hera" the Queen of the Gods looked up from her tapestry and peered curiously at her husband who was currently lurking in the doorway.
"Zeus what are you doing?"
"You said you wanted to see me?" Hera set down the tapestry, pushing the needle into her bun. "It's nothing frightening darling" Zeus shuffled closer.
"Not something I did then?"
"No dear nothing you did" Zeus looked awkward.
"I brought you chocolates just in case" Hera smiled as a large gold box was settled into her lap. She chuckled.
"Am I still allowed to have them?" Zeus settled on the bed, squashing her tapestry. The main reason she never left the needles in.
"Of course precious" she slid the box into her lap and traced the gold edging with her fingers. Maybe she'd even share them with Ganeymede, that boy adored chocolate.
"Where is Ganeymede anyway, haven't seen that boy for ages"
Zeus leant back and stretched.
"Last time I saw him he was hotfooting it out of Asphodel like his feet were on fire!" Hera peered across at her husband. Ganeymede was terrified of the Asphodelians.
"Really, I wonder what he was doing there?"
"Well I rather doubt he was screwing the dead people" Hera smacked him.
"Zeus!"
"Sorry darling" At Zeus's guilty look Hera smiled, she could see more chocolate here somewhere.
The End
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