Chapter 4
Once we were lovers
Just lovers we were
Oh what a lie
Once we were dreamers
Just dreamers we were
Oh you and I
"10,000 Promises"
Nick Carter
The late afternoon sun slowly sank towards the horizon as half of the Carter
clan brood settled themselves on the beach facing their seaside mansion. The
twins, Aaron and Angel, after bringing down the fun equipment, decided to
run down the surf with their golden retriever, Haley. BJ laid herself down
on a blanket to get some sun before it got too low for anyone to tan. And
Nick was just sitting on the sand, near most of the stuff, looking towards
the sea with a pensive expression.
BJ noticed the thoughtful composure of her older brother for the passed
hour or so and decided to sidle up beside him. She really didn't think she
was going to get a tan today anyway.
"Penny for your thoughts," she offered.
Nick looked at his sister and shrugged. BJ first started to notice the
change in Nick since he came back for New York all those weeks ago. To those
who aren't intimate with Nick, he seemed normal. His family and band mates
began to worry over the young Backstreet Boy but he would always say that
there's nothing wrong. BJ suspected that it had something to do with Drew
since he was there during that same time.
"Is it about Drew?," she asked and Nick just slowly nodded his head.
"We broke up," he said bluntly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said with sincerity. At that, an absence of
conversation came upon the two siblings. This mood continued for a good 15
minutes before BJ got uncomfortable and spoke up. "You knew this was bound
to happen, right?"
Nick nodded, not breaking his gaze off the breaking tides. "You know what I
did, Beej. I didn't even want to continue the relationship after that first
night. I knew it would eventually lead on to this point. He pleaded and I
caved. I had a doubtful, but wonderful, one month relationship with a
married man. What is it with me and married men? First Brian, now Drew! You
think that after all this I would have learnt my lesson." Nick ranted
towards the ocean and felt a tear fall from one eye away from BJ's view of
her brother.
"Oh, Nick. At least you knew what the consequences were going to be."
"Then why am I not totally over him yet? When I broke it off with Brian, we
parted on good terms and I got over things pretty quickly. With Drew, it
feels like everyday without him is like agony to my soul. Every single
thought about him hurts even worse than every moment of pain that I've even
experienced in my life twice over. What is it about that makes me want to go
to him right now and beg to be together again?"
BJ was stunned at her brother's confession. Gathering her hair into a
ponytail, she digested all of the things she just heard from Nick and
started on a course of discussion. " Start from the beginning Nick. Tell me
everything."
"I already told you everything."
"I mean EVERYTHING, Nick. From the beginning when you met Drew."
Nick sighed and grabbed the first drink that he could get from the cooler;
a bottle of Heinekken. He opened the bottle and took a big swig of it and
let the cold, slightly bitter taste go down his throat. He grabbed another
bottle and gave it to BJ. "Drink up. This is going to take awhile." BJ
opened the bottle and took a small drink of it. She wasn't really a big beer
drinker but she was willing to drink some if only to help Nick cope with his
situation.
Nick shouted to the twins to be careful and told them that if they get
bored, they could go back to the house without them. Nick told another swig
and gave BJ a small smile.
"Two months ago, the head of Jive records held a party with about half of
the music industry attending. I recently broke it off with Mandah because of
our sparse time that we ever spend with each other. I got over her pretty
quickly because I never really loved her. Last I heard, she was dating that
gay dude from Dawson's Creek. Anyway, all I wanted to do that night was to
celebrate the fact I was single again and I wanted to party. During the
course of the party, some of us decided to take up the rest of the drinking
session to AJ place. It was wild considering that me, Drew, AJ, Howie,
Chris, Justin, Jeff, the other Justin, the four blonds (Britney, Jessica,
Christina, and Mandy), and about a half dozen other people were already
smashed beyond normal. Everyone went to their own little corner either to
sleep off the booze or to get it on. I was the only one still somewhat
coherent so I was drinking all the water that I could muster in the
kitchen." Nick paused to drink then continued.
"I felt like someone was watching me that whole night. Being in the
spotlight all the time makes you dismiss the feeling quickly because
everybody is watching almost 24/7. But this time it was different. I didn't
feel like I was being watched by thousands of people. I looked around from
what I was doing and saw a pair of hazel eyes looking at me from the
darkness in the door. I went closer and saw that it was Drew with a face
that could break a million hearts without trying. He just woken up from a
bad dream and went to the kitchen to get something for his head. Drew saw me
and he said that I was one of the most beautiful sights that he ever saw."
Nick smiled at that memory. BJ offered an understanding expression. At that
moment, Aaron and Angel decided to leave them alone on the beach and
hollered to tell them that they were going back into the house. Both of the
elder siblings waved their hands in acknowledgement. Both of them took
another guzzle of the Heinekken and looked on as the sun had gotten lower
into the horizon. The air started to get colder by the minute so Nick got
the blanket that him didn't use and wrapped it around his sister. They both
smiled at each other.
"One thing lead to another and we both soon found ourselves in my room in
AJ's place without one thing in mind. To fuck each other silly." BJ laughed
at that. "God, I know that I shouldn't be telling you this but he gives
amazing head." Nick blushed. "Anyway, soon enough it was morning. I was
ready to write it off as a one night stand when he kissed me again. Damn,
that was the best kiss that I have ever received. Somehow, we got into
another round and that's when AJ burst into the room. He saw us in the
middle of fornicating. He ran out of the room after he caught us 'doing the
deed'."
BJ mused. "So that's why AJ has been acting a bit weird whenever he comes by
the house. He's always been the loud one, but recently, he's been nothing
but quiet these past few weeks."
"I didn't notice. Drew was always in my mind, even until now. You know where
I stand with AJ. I guess he hasn't totally give up the hope that we'll be
together someday."
BJ readjusted her sitting position and took another sip of the beer. Taking
a long sided looking, she studied her brother with sadness. In all her years
of know Nickolas Gene Carter, she has never seen him so "hopeless".
"What happened next? Did you talk?"
"Yes, we did. I told him that even if I had feelings for him, I didn't want
to become a home wrecker and go between him and Lea. I held firm for about
three days before his begging got through my defenses and I gave in. The
rest is history and so is probably the best relationship that I ever had."
"Nick," she said with a sighing breath. "Your track record sucks."
Nick chuckled at her quip. "Yeah, I know. With Brian, it was loneliness that
got me into a relationship with him. With AJ, it was because of him. But I
still feel nothing but platonic with him. With Mandah, it was pure sex,
nothing less. With Drew, well, I'm still trying to figure that one out."
Nick finished off the bottle and grabbed another one from the cooler. He
twisted off the cap and chugged down about half of it before stopping. "You
know, I should be pissed with Drew."
"Why?"
"When he broke up with me, I felt as if he left something out. He gave me
the one on one version of a "Dear John" letter, and then he introduced me to
his cousin who coincidentally worked in the Starbucks where we met up. She
had this look on her face that told me that something was up. After that, I
left Drew and his cousin and took the next flight available out of New York
back to Orlando. I felt I was dying and I didn't want to deal with it. When
I felt a little bit in control with myself, I talked with his brother and he
told me about Lea's condition. I was angry for a better part of a day.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, not even Kevin, could stop me from being a bitch
that day. After sometime of thinking, I reached to one very painful
conclusion: I'm still in love with a lying, two-timing, pathetic bastard."
BJ moved closer to Nick and gave him a hug. Nick took it and returned it
with equal affection. "Are you going to be alright?"
Exhaling a relaxing breathe, Nick smiled reassuringly. "I will be."
"Glad to hear that. You know I'm not an expert in bisexuality but if its
like any other couples out there then whatever happens will be okay. I'm
sure Drew has his reasons for not telling you the truth. Knowing that your
wife is going to die will not make a person rational. I'm sure that he knows
that you know about Lea. And I'm sure that he feels guilty about that. Know
you, as I do, you will have to talk to him eventually, one way or another.
You need to clear the air; otherwise things will always stay awkward."
"When did you get so wise? Last I looked, you were a model and everyone
knows that models don't have enough I.Q. to fill a thimble."
BJ smacked him in the arm and laughed in spite of herself. All of a sudden,
two bundles of kinetic twins came cannoning towards the two of them and got
tackled. Aaron managed to get Nick's head into the sand while Angel got BJ
into land on her side.
"Come on, you two. Mom said that dinner will be ready in a few minutes and
told us to get you," said Angel in a babbling tone.
"Yeah, hurry up. I'm hungry," whined Aaron. Nick laughed because his stomach
was starting to feel like it could devour anything at this moment. The twins
then bounded off the sand back to the house, leaving Nick and BJ to brush
off the sand off their bodies.
"BJ, thanks," appreciated Nick as the last ray of sunlight peeked on the
horizon before the night fully took the sky.
"What are sisters for anyway?"
"You don't want me to answer that." Both of them gathered the equipment that
they brought with them and took one last look at the sea with the full moon
in its reflection before trodding back to the Carter Mansion.
What about your
Your ten thousand promises
That you gave to me
Your ten thousand promises
That you promised me
Chapter 5
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