Break In

Author's Note- A story I heard at work and I found too hilarious to let go.



"Chris! Get your ass out here now!" Joey yelled, tapping his foot impatiently. He listened to Chris run around inside hotel room 401, desperately trying to gather the possessions he would need for the day.

There was a loud thump then a crash, then the door swung open. Chris hung on to the doorknob as he fell out, kicking something back in the hotel room. Then he tripped over a bed sheet as he walked out in the hall. He slammed the door and stood panting beside Joey. "What did you do with my pager?"

"I don't touch your crap," Joey said, smiling as he saw the pager in Chris's back pocket.

"God Joey, this isn't funny! Where the hell is my pager?" Chris paced the hall, showing his agitation.

"Was it set to beep or vibrate?" Joey asked, pulling out his cell phone.

"Calling it won't help, it's on vibrate!" Chris said. "Now we're gonna be late!"

Joey smiled as he dialed the well-known number to Chris's pager. He watched Chris pace in front of him. When Joey was able to leave his numeric message, he typed in 'asshole' then hung up. Chris continued to pace in front of him as he cursed to himself for a few seconds, then froze, placing one hand on his back pocket.

Joey cracked up at Chris's startled look. Chris pulled the pager out of his pocket and looked at the message. He turned deadly eyes to Joey. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"What fun would that be?" Joey smiled, walking to the elevator. "You sure you got everything now?" Joey asked as Chris trailed behind.

"Yeah," Chris mumbled, then he shoved the pager back in his pocket and ran to catch up with Joey. "Don't tell anyone, okay?" Chris asked.

"Okay," Joey replied, crossing his fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, the guys split up and were to meet at a local club. Justin went with Joey to get food from a drive through, and J.C. and Lance were still at the studio wrapping things up.

Chris was on his way back to the hotel to let Busta out when he remembered something, or the lack thereof. "Wait a minute- where the hell is my cell phone?" he asked himself, looking around the dark car. Chris quickly felt all his pockets before searching the other seats in the car. As he searched the floorboards, the dark green Pontiac started crossing the lanes, heading for another car coming in the opposite direction.

Chris finally gave up and turned his eyes back to the road, swerving just in time to avoid a head on collision with the other car. Unfazed, Chris sighed and continued on his way back to the hotel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris parked sloppily at the hotel and ran inside, angry with himself for forgetting everything all the time. He clearly remembered placing the cell phone on the charger last night, and telling himself not to forget it this morning.

The elevator stopped and let Chris out on the third floor. He walked quickly down to room 301, then reached in his pocket for the key.

"Shit!" he yelled, discovering the only item in his pockets was the pager. "God damnit I swear if I ever get in there I'm gonna…" he mumbled, trailing off. "It's a good thing Joey isn't here to laugh at me," he said, pacing in front of the door. "So where's the key Chris? How the hell should I know, I'm not God!" Chris rambled, carrying out a conversation by himself as he thought.

Chris looked around for a few minutes then sighed. "I should have chained the damn card to my wrist, then maybe I wouldn't lose it. This hotel eats money anyway- wait a minute…" Chris smiled as he was hit upside the head with an idea. He pulled out his wallet and took out his Visa, then kissed it for good luck. After looking around, Chris quickly swiped his credit card through the locking system on the door and waited. Sure enough, the red light changed to green and the door unlocked. "Thank God for MacGiver reruns!" Chris exclaimed, putting the card back in his wallet.

Chris opened the door and crept in the dark hotel room. He saw his cell phone, still sitting on the charger as he remembered. Chris unplugged the phone and stuck it in his pocket, then called Busta.

"Busta! Here boy!" Chris called, looking around.

There was no jingling of dog tags as he expected, and Chris became worried. He walked back towards the door and froze when he heard voices.

"So AJ, you doing anything tonight?"

"Probably, but first I told Kevin I'd help him with wedding stuff."

"So later then?"

"Yeah, I'll catch up with you on your cell. I gotta change first."

"Okay, I'll wait for your call."

"Okay. Bye."

Chris's heart pounded, as he stood frozen to his spot, listening to the approaching footsteps. He looked at the map of the hotel that was posted to the back of the door and realized he was in the wrong room. 'Oh shit oh shit oh shit,' he thought, panic taking over. 'I'm in the wrong room! Shit why can't I remember we're in 401, not 301! Shit!' Chris frantically looked for an escape route, and the footsteps of AJ McLean got closer and closer. Then Chris exploded into flight, dropping to his stomach and sliding under the nearest bed, pulling his feet out of view just as the door opened and the lights came on. 'I can't believe I'm in the wrong freakin' room!' Chris yelled at himself as AJ approached the bed. 'This is very very bad, I'm so stupid! How do you break into the wrong room, let alone the Backstreet Boys'!'

There was a slight jingle as AJ undid his belt pulled it off from around him, tossing it onto the floor. Then he unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor, blowing fuzz balls in Chris's face as they landed. Chris's eyes watered and his nose began tingling as he desperately tried to hold in a sneeze. AJ hummed to himself as he proceeded to strip his shirt and toss it onto the floor also. His bare feet were inches from Chris's face, making Chris tense. Then AJ turned and went to the dressers on the other side of the room. Chris silently let out a deep breath, rolling his eyes with relief. He remained as small as he could, thankful he was short enough to fit under the bed. Chris watched as AJ hopped on one foot as he pulled on some fresh jeans, then listened to the sound of them zipping up.

Chris wished AJ to hurry. 'Please just leave!' he prayed, feeling his lungs begin to burn with need for more air than he was allowing. Chris watched AJ's feet walk across the room and into the bathroom, then his eyes rested on a black, hairy spider the size of a half-dollar. As the spider approached, Chris shrunk back, trying to keep the distance between them. Silently, Chris blew on the spider, trying to halt its approach. Slowly and mechanically, the spider kept creeping forward, it's legs grabbing at Chris as it walked.

Chris heard AJ spritz some cologne, and then the humming began again as he walked to the door. 'Please go!' Chris pleaded in his mind, wincing as the spider closed the distance between them.

"Oh shit," AJ said, stopping and pulling something out of his pocket. Chris heard the dull beep as AJ turned on his cell phone and began to dial a number.

Chris jumped as the phone in his pocket began ringing. 'Fuck!' he whispered, quickly pulling out the phone and turning it off. His heart hammered as he prayed AJ wouldn't kill him when he found a member of Nsync hiding under his bed. The spider was now feeling his nose with its long hairy legs as Chris closed his eyes in dread.

AJ remained still for a moment, then crossed the room and approached the bed. He got down on one knee and was about to look under when the door suddenly swung open, making both AJ and Chris jump.

"Hey AJ, what are you doing? We're waiting for you!"

"Oh, okay. I'm coming. It's the weirdest thing, I thought I heard Howie's cell phone ringing from under the bed just now."

"I think you're insane. Howie loves his phone. He wouldn't leave it under the bed."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I know. Come on."

"Right behind you."

Chris nearly fainted with relief as the door shut. 'There is a God,' he thought, relaxing on the dirty wooden floor. Then the tickle of the spider startled him, spurring Chris into action. He brushed the spider off his face and pulled himself out from under the bed. Once he was standing, he brushed himself off and smiled. "I made it," he grinned as he walked to the door. Then proudly, he left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What took you so long?" Joey asked, scaring Chris as he walked in the right hotel room.

Chris jumped and leaned against the door to catch his breath. "Don't scare me like that!" Chris scolded, feeling a surge of adrenaline sweep through him.

"Yeah whatever. Where have you been and why are you covered in dust?" Joey asked, walking towards Chris with Busta at his heels.

"I was a little preoccupied," Chris said, bending down and picking up Busta.

"Fine, don't tell me. I'll get it out of you later. Did you know the Backstreet Boys are staying in this same hotel? They're even in the same room, just one floor below us."

"Really? Isn't that weird," Chris mumbled.

"Well come on, let's go," Joey said cheerfully, opening the door.

"Okay," Chris sighed, letting Busta down. "Did you let him out?"

"Yeah, while I was waiting for you," Joey said.

"What happened to Justin?"

"I dropped him off at the club," Joey said. "He didn't want to wait."

"Oh," Chris replied, following Joey out into the hallway. He groaned inside as he watched Joey lock the door, using a key. "I thought the doors had those cards instead of keys," he said.

"No, that's only the one's downstairs," Joey said. "I've never used a card. Where'd you get that idea?"

"I have no clue," Chris groaned, running a hand down his face. They proceeded down the hall when Chris suddenly stopped. "Shit!" he yelled. "I forgot my cell phone!"

"No you didn't," Joey replied. "It's in your back pocket."

"Okay Joey, that really makes me uncomfortable to know you're looking at my ass," Chris said, looking his friend in the eyes.

"Well I can't help it- I mean because it sticks out and you look so stupid with it back there and…" "Forget it," Chris said. "Hell, it's not my phone, I don't care if I use all the minutes," he thought out loud as they continued to the elevator.

"What do you mean it's not you're phone?" Joey asked.

"Never mind, it's a long story…" Chris replied, rolling his eyes.

Finish!

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