Slipping (The Inside)

Author's Note- A little piece of depression for ya. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I told them I didn't want to do it. Now, as the pain washes over me in great spasms, they can do nothing but cry for me and apologize. I let my eyes slide up, un-focusing from their pained faces. Above me dangle the frayed ropes that had so recently dropped me. To take my mind off the unbearable pain, I studied their slight, almost taunting sway. They were laughing at me. Mocking me for putting my life in their fragile fibers.

I shudder again. God I ache. I can't move. I can't even feel my body. It's an inner pain, one that overwhelms and swallows you. My chest feels heavy and I have to cough. The guys are kneeling down, but their gentle touching hurts so much. I know I'm dying. They know it too. A tear of frustration slides down my face and kisses the stage.

I have never trusted heights. Height has always thrown me to the harsh hands of gravity, back down to the ground where I belong. Lance and Justin are crying already. I don't blame them for giving up on me. We are waiting for the paramedics to stumble through the mass of girls, but I don't think I can wait.

I cough, and the terrifying pain slashes through me like lightening. The warm, metallic taste of blood is in my throat, waiting patiently to enter my mouth. I can't take this any more. Someone please end this immense pain. It's crushing me.

Joey and J.C. are on either side of me, yelling their hearts out for help. Time has slowed. It cruelly makes me stay here in agonizing pain as my surroundings are swallowed by black dots. I can't get enough air. I have to fight for every breath. I feel the blood rising, swallowing me.

But I'm glad I'm leaving. I know the thud and crack of my body suddenly meeting the stage will give them nightmares forever. I only wish they didn't have to hear it. I'm the lucky one.

Joey takes my hand. It sends fire to my shoulder and another tear falls. I feel the warmth of his hand and focus on it. My whole body is relaxing from the warmth I'm getting from them.

They are all crying now, but they dare not look away. They don't want me to be alone.

An electrocuting pain tears through me again. I don't have the strength to continue fighting. It hurts me so much. My tongue is swimming in blood. I give their pained faces a slight smile before I close my eyes and allow myself to breathe my blood.

Goodbye my brothers.

I love you.

Finish

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