The Nutcracker
Author's Note- The first Goof I wrote after 3/21! This is pretty short, but that's the whole idea of Goofs. IMPORTANT: This is taking place through Joey's camcorder. I'll do my best to describe it the way you would be watching it on TV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The red light blinked three times then went off. Joey focused on Chris, who was sitting on the couch trying to read a book on business management.
"Hey Chris, say something intelligent for the camera!" Joey said.
Chris glared at Joey over the top of his book then turned a page.
The camera shakes slightly as Joey fakes a laughing fit. "That was good Chris! Say something else!"
The camera moves closer to Chris as he grows annoyed. "Joey, go away."
Joey's breathing can be heard and he argues, "Why?"
"Because I'm busy!" Chris said, raising his voice.
"Aww, look, the baby's mad," Joey teased.
Chris smiled involuntarily and tried to hide it. "Joey, go away," he ordered.
Joey moved closer in front of Chris, zooming in so Chris's face took up the whole picture. "Make me," Joey argued.
"I'm not playing," Chris warned.
Joey turned the camera on himself for a second and made a frightened face. "Ooh, I'm scared!" he said, then swung it around and refocused on Chris, zooming in all the way and focusing on Joey's facial features. "Look at how he concentrates," Joey started, moving the video camera down the length of Chris's face. "If only he could think this hard about not pissing on the seat-"
There was a blur of motion as Chris's head moved forward with the rest of his body. Joey yelped and dropped the camera, letting it fall to the ground and continue recording.
It filmed the scene from the floor as Joey sank to the floor, clutching his crotch. Chris was only visible from the knees down as he watched Joey, looking around to see if anyone saw him assault his friend. After a few seconds, Chris's legs straightened out and his hand came into the picture, offering Joey a hand up.
"Joey, I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to kick you that hard…"
The 'low battery' button began flashing as Joey sniffed and rubbed his crotch as he whimpered, "I think you smashed my balls."
"I said I was sorry-"
Then Joey grabbed Chris's hand and pulled himself up. He placed his hands on his knees and bent over, staying in full view of the camcorder. "Damnit Chris, I can't stand up now!"
"Joey, for the third time, I'm-"
(Dead Battery)
Finnis!
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Email: jaysmyrascal@cs.com