I am Nick's wedgie.

Sure, laugh, but be honest. Isn't this just one place you'd give your right hand to be?

Well, ok, so that was a poor choice of words. Or not, depending on your point of view.

He's just so damn cute, and I know I've given every screaming fan on the internet many hours of animated discussion over the past few months. Poor guy, he just sets himself up for it. You know the routine ... sing the songs, dance the dances, introduce the band ....

He can't help it, never COULD leave a drum set alone. So up he hops, and BANG! There I go, tucking myself away where the sun don't shine. Heaven, I tell you. There's something so incredibly sexy about that boy's ass. C'mon, you know it, too. I've seen some of those gratuitous booty shots you take with your little point-and-shoots. Don't tell me you don't look because I know you do. Mmm-hmm. Yep.

So there he is ... in front of thousands, with me in full view. I wedge myself just a little bit differently every time, just to make it more of a challenge for him to get me out. He tries so hard, poor boy. A tug here, a booty shake there ... but I am stubborn. I stay put until he's forced to pluck me out in front of all the screaming women.

Perverted? Yes, I am, but then what do you expect?

I am Nick's wedgie.