Kevin leaned his head against the wall, stretching his long legs midway across the waiting room. He resisted the urge to look at his watch again; he knew it had only been minutes since he last looked. He sighed and closed his eyes, too tired and too worried to even pray.

--2 hours earlier--

"Kevin...?" Chrissy's voice was soft and slurred, the drugs taking over her body.

"Shh. Don't talk, Chris. Close your eyes, baby, you're fighting it." He held her hand, but she was so far gone she hadn't the strength to squeeze it back.

"I'm not ... Kev, stop it," she whispered, closing her eyes and he was sure the anesthesia had finally kicked in. "Kev, I mean it." Chrissy opened her eyes halfway. "You're worrying. Please stop."

He automatically started to deny it, but knew it was useless. Chrissy had always been able to see right through him, even as kids. Kissing her hand gently, his eyes filled with tears. "I love you, Chris."

"I know. And that's how I know I'm going to be all right."

-------

The orderly had come for her and their time together was cut short. He had kissed her forehead, tucked a stray wisp of hair beneath her surgical cap and watched as she was wheeled into surgery.

"Mr. Richardson?"

Startled from his memories, he blanched as the charge nurse called his name. "Chrissy??"

"She's fine. Dr. Carroll wanted me to let you know the surgery is going well and Chrissy should be in recovery soon."

"When can I see her?"

"We'll need to monitor her for a while, but we'll come and get you as soon as we can." She looked at the haggard man before her. She had seen this so many times before and was still at a loss as to how to help. "You've been cooped up here for hours. Why don't you take a walk? Get out for a bit?"

"No, I can't." He shook his head. "I have to be here when-"

"That's why we have *these*." Smiling, she handed him a pager. "We'll beep you when she's in recovery."

"Thank you. What a great idea." Gratefully he clipped the pager to his belt.

"It was Dr. Carroll's idea, and they were donated by the local chapter of the Cancer Society."

Kevin smiled for the first time in hours. "I'll have to remember to *up* my donation next year. Thanks again ... Sarah." He had leaned closer to peer at her nametag.

"No problem, now go on, get out of here." She smiled warmly, watching the color gradually return to his handsome face.

----------

The gardens were deceptively calm, masking the hundreds of struggles taking place within the walls of the hospital. The sun shone brightly as a soft breeze played with the flowers and unseen birds called to their mates. Kevin sat on a redwood bench beneath a willow tree, marvelling at the sense of calm and peace that surrounded him.

Unbidden, his thoughts turned to his father. carefully, so very carefully, he had managed to push his memories aside. He was afraid; afraid that his grief would once again overwhelm hin, rendering him useless to Chris.. Tears streaked down his face as his fears found words.

"Dad-" It had been so long since he had spoken to his father that it felt odd to speak his name aloud. "God, Dad, I miss you." I wish you wre here, I could really use some advice." Swiping a hand across his face, he pushed his hair back. "I'm scared," he whispered. "So damn scared I'm going to lose her, and i'nd I've just *found* her. Do me a favor?" He smiled at his turn of thoughts. "I know you watch out for me, so could you add one more to your list? Keep an eye on Chris, too. Put in a good word for her, ok? I love you, Dad."