Oh, fine, laugh all you want, but the treasures contained herein are considered priceless by millions. Many's the peasant that would do anything to get their hands on me and heaven knows, many have tried. But they have failed. My master keeps close watch over me, I am ever within his grasp.

Centuries ago, lords of the manor wore strange and mystical contraptions to protect their legacy, but today's conventions are much more practical. They call it - what is the word? - leather! Yes, that's it, *leather*! It is truly a wonderful creation, leather. Form-fitting, it hugs my master's body like a falconer's glove, serving not only as practical apparel but it is pleasing to the eye as well. So they say ... I personally have no opinion one way or the other except to know that I feel safe and protected in its presence.

My purpose in life is multi-faceted. You think I exist only to serve as non-functional adornment of my master? Rubbish. That is but the crude, shallow opinion of the female populace.

My utmost goal is to propagate the superior lineage buried within my depths. Look upon my master's face ... see you not the promise of the future of mankind?! But he is young yet, there is much time remaining for the prophecy of young ones to be realized.

For the time being, I content myself with being an endless source of pleasure. Many's a night when I am called upon to rise to the occasion for my master, and I am strong. I have yet to fail in my duties and my master is proud. I am his legacy.

I am Nick's family jewels.