A NEW DAY by Michelle T © 2000 FEEDBACK?: mtktmt@aol.com CHAPTER THIRTY SIX Howie heard the others banging against his door and pleading with him to open up. He heard AJ begging him to let him in and talk to him. Instead, he remained in the easy chair for hours, by the windows, in the darkened room, staring out until the sun slowly made its first appearance. **************************** Michelle awoke at 5:00 a.m. and quietly slipped out of the bed being careful not to wake up Kevin. She stood watching him sleep for several moments before leaving the room. Dear Kevin, I'm sorry to have caused so much grief for everyone. I need to get away from all this and figure out where to go from here. Please don't hate me for leaving Kimberly with you. I know you'll take good care of her. I love her so much, but I can't let her see me like this. I promised her I'd always be there for her, but I just can't right now. I beg you to tell her that I'm not going off to kill myself, because I'm not. I have to grieve over my loss of Howie and you on my own. Don't worry. Tell everyone I will always love them. I love you so much, Michelle ******************************* Kevin woke up with a start and bolted out of the bed, looking around frantically. -- Where is she? Oh God, help me.-- ***************************** AJ slowly pulled himself up from the floor outside Howie's bedroom door. He looked at the white wood morosely and placed his palms against it. "Please?" he pushed himself away and walked slowly to his own room. ****************************** Michelle put the pen down slowly and then burst into tears.-- I can't do this. I can't run away from them. God, how can I even think of abandoning Kimberly. Oh, my sweet Howie, how the hell do I go on without him? I lose Howie, I lose Kevin too. -- **************************** Howie eased himself out his chair and smiled slightly while stretching. He walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on full force. He removed his clothing slowly, folding each article neatly and placing them on the vanity. He climbed into the shower and moved under the steady stream of hot water while gently reaching for the razor. ***************************** Michelle eased herself off the chair and stared down at her note. She ran her hands over her face removing the wetness left from her tears and heaved a great sigh. The note was suddenly pulled off the table and she flew around to face Kevin. "What's this?" he asked harshly. "Nothing, I was just about to throw it away," she said watching his eyes darken. "Relax, Kevin, I'm not going. I can't. I don't know what to do, but I can't leave Kimberly, even with you. I've got to deal with this calmly somehow and set things right again." She walked around him to the kitchen sink and turned the cold water on. "Do you really think Howie still loves me or did he just say that out of habit?" She grabbed the kettle off the stove and filled it half way, before turning to Kevin. He was leaning against the counter, reading her note over and over. "Why'd you write this? You were gonna just leave without even telling me?" "I was. But once the words were out, I realized I couldn't. Kevin, come on, I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't have second thoughts about it. Yes, my first reaction was to run, yours would be too, I'm sure. But I won't do that to Kimberly again." "That's just great! What about me? or Howie? Are we not even part of your decision? Do you not care about how I'd feel if you were gone?" He looked at her evenly as he tore the envelope in two and flung it to the floor. **************************** AJ walked out of his bathroom and straight into the closet. He pulled on the first pair of jeans he saw. As he reached back over for a shirt, his eye caught sight of Howie standing at the doorway, causing him to jump backwards. "D? You scared the shit out of me!" he rasped. Howie laughed at his friend's expression, "Bone, I need you to do me a favor." **************************** Kimberly awoke early and crawled out of bed, slightly confused about where she was. She crept from the guest room and peeked her head into Telly's bedroom. Seeing she was still sound asleep, she quietly shut the door and went into the living room. With a wide yawn, she turned the television on and flicked the channels until she landed on MTV. She listened attentively and then grabbed the phone next to the couch. "Hello? Nick? What's going on? Why are you at Howie's house? I just saw MTV and they said your last concert was canceled and that someone was sick?" Kim sat rigidly on the couch, nervously chewing on her thumb nail, sensing something bad had happened. "Um, hi Kiddo, hang on a sec?" A groggy Nick placed her on hold and stumbled towards the stairs. Howie and AJ were just descending and stopped when they saw Nick's face. "Nicky, what's the matter with you?" asked a smiling Howie. "D? Ah, Kim's on the phone and she knows we didn't do the last show. Heard it on MTV. What are we suppose to tell her?" Nick held out the phone to them, silently begging one of them to take it. "Does she know Michelle came here for AJ last night?" asked Howie uncertainly. "I don't know, possibly. I'm sure Michelle must have said something to her when she took her to Telly's," replied Nick. "Just tell her I had a case of food poisoning or something and came home early. Don't get into details though," said AJ taking the phone from Nick and passing it to Howie. "Me? Just great! Ok," Howie took the phone, clicked the hold button and said, "Hey, Sweetie? How are you?" "Howie? What's wrong? Who's sick? And isn't my mom there?" Kim was walking towards Telly's room to wake her up. "Ah, no big deal really. AJ came down with severe stomach aches from something he ate, so we sent him home early and the rest of us decided we wanted to come home too. Don't worry though, everything's fine. Um, your mom is still sleeping. She was up late taking care of him." Howie was hoping Kim didn't hear the uncertainty in his voice. "Oh, okay, then. I was scared for a minute there. But, if AJ was so sick, why didn't he call Auntie Patti?" She turned back around and flopped onto the couch, flicking to the Disney channel instead. "Patti? Well, she wasn't home when he called, so I guess he couldn't ask her. Anyway, how's everything with you? I've missed you, Silly Goose. We know you guys were hoping to plan something today to welcome us home, but we'll do something tonight instead, ok?" Howie looked at AJ and Nick and shrugged his shoulders. "Ok, Howie. I'll see you later, and I've really missed you guys!" Kim hung up the phone happily. "That was close! We better call Kevin and get all our stories straight." Nick said as he headed back to a spare room. "I need more sleep! And Howie, call Kevin!"