A NEW DAY by Michelle T © 2000 CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE "YOU HIT HER??" Nick and Brian had run into the room, hearing the screaming upon entering the house. Nick rushed over to AJ and pulled him up swiftly. He glared at him with rage. "You hit her?" Getting no verbal response from AJ, he swung his fist wildly and caught AJ in the stomach. AJ fell to his knees and Nick pushed him away from him. Brian ran over and grabbed Nick and pulled him backwards. "What the hell is going on?" he asked looking frantically at the four of them. "Brian! Help, AJ!" Kevin shouted. Brian ran over to AJ and helped him onto the couch. Michelle stared in disbelief at Nick. "What the fuck are you doing, Nick! I'm the fucking whore who has led him on for months and I deserve everything, EVERYTHING!" Michelle struggled against Kevin again, catching him off guard. He fell backwards and she jumped up swiftly and ran for the door. "STOP HER!" He screamed scrambling to his feet. Nick stood frozen looking at AJ and then Kevin. Kevin pushed past him and ran after Michelle. AJ looked up at Nick and saw the confusion in his eyes. "Don't listen to her, this is not her fault! All she did was comfort me and I took out all my anger and rage on her. Oh god!" he moaned into his hands again and Brian wrapped his arms around him. Nick walked slowly over towards them and sat on the coffee table. "Tell us, AJ, what happened." He said quietly. ********************** Kevin ran through the hall frantically. "Michelle!" he heard the back door bang open and ran towards the kitchen. He flew to the door and saw her running towards her Jeep. "Stop!!" She reached the jeep and was fumbling with her keys, trying to make one fit, blinded by her tears. She felt Kevin's arms wrap around her again. "Don't touch me, I'm scum!" she said hoarsely, but quietly. "No. I'll never let go. I've promised you that and I won't stop now. I love you and no matter what happens, I will always love you." he spoke slowly turning her towards him. The anguish, fear and guilt in her eyes tore him up. "Please listen to me. You are wonderful, caring and very loyal to Howie. None of us think you are a whore or scum. What you did for AJ was incredible." She pushed against him and cried, "NO! Don't you see? I made him get like that. I went too far. I flirted with him too much, I'm a fucking tease and a whore. I want to get out of here, please! I don't deserve to live anymore." "STOP IT! I won't let you talk that way! Jesus fucking Christ, this is not your fault!. It's not you!! AJ is consumed with guilt and rage today because this is the day, one year ago, that Deanna killed herself. It's not about you!" The tears were streaming down his face and landing on her head. She was silent, trying to and failing to absorb what he'd just said. She suddenly felt so incredibly tired. He sensed her exhaustion and picked her up into his arms. She kept her eyes closed, head turned towards his chest and cried softly to herself. He turned towards the kitchen door to see Howie standing there, scared and confused. "Kevin, what's happened? What's wrong with Michelle." The fear in Howie's voice tore through Kevin. "D, Let's get her upstairs and I'll tell you everything, ok? I promise." Kevin walked past him and through the kitchen to the stairs. Howie hesitated briefly and then followed him quietly. Kevin brought her into Howie's bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. She curled into a tight ball and kept her eyes closed. He drew a blanket over her and backed up towards the door. Howie just stood there staring at her in shock. Kevin leaned against the doorjamb and watched him. He slowly started explaining to Howie. "D, AJ snapped today over Deanna. Michelle came to comfort him. AJ freaked out and basically attacked her verbally and physically. I don't know exactly how it all happened, but when I walked in, they were locked together, naked and crying uncontrollably. He says he didn't rape her, but that she forgave him for his assault and thinking it was all her fault for flirting with him all these months, she gave herself to him, sexually. Now, they are both tearing themselves up over everything. AJ is wrecking himself over his guilt of abusing her and Michelle wants to kill herself for betraying you." Kevin stared at Howie, not being able to read his thoughts. A tear slid from each of his brown eyes, but that's all Kevin could see. "Howie, say something," Howie continued staring at Michelle, his jumbled thoughts flying around his head fiercely. How do I deal with this? What do I say to her? God, I love her so much. I know she loves me. I can't let her go. AJ? What the fuck do I do about him? God, he's my best friend. I love him. Why didn't I see his suffering? Why did he take it out on Michelle? Fuck! Howie felt Kevin shake him. He swung his eyes over to him and slowly made his way to Michelle. He sat down gently on the side and placed his hand on her arm. "Michelle?" he spoke gently and calmly. Michelle's eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. Oh God! I love him, why did I betray him? Why isn't he yelling at me? Her eyes searched his, not sure of what his said. "Howie, I'm sorry. I honestly love you so much and I'm sorry. You have been so good to me and I've destroyed everything. Kevin is going to keep Kimberly for me and if you can stand to look at her, after what I've done, I want you to promise to help take care of her too. She loves you so much. I'm so sorry, I'll never hurt anyone again!" Howie's eyes turned angry. He jumped off the bed backing away slightly. He stared down at her, not believing what he was hearing. Finally, he inched back towards her, his finger pointing at her and said, in an extremely low and angry voice, "You listen to me…I refuse to let you walk away from me now. You are going to cut this shit out now and don't even think about killing yourself. You hear me? You are not leaving me now! I've waited my whole fucking life for you and I'll be damned if I'll let you go!" His voice rose, stronger and more passionate with every sentence. He choked out a sob and fell onto the bed beside her, pulling her into his arms and crushing her. "Don't leave me, Beauty, I need you, I love you. I'm not mad at you or AJ, I love you and I'll never stop." Michelle was paralyzed against him. She couldn't think straight. She gasped for each breath, not knowing what to say. He still loved her? How could he? She fucked his best friend. How could he not hate her? He gave her one more squeeze and then released her, pushing her back gently onto the pillows. "I have to speak to AJ, but I'll be back. Please believe me that I love you and I don't want to lose you." He bent down and kissed her lips lightly. "Please stay here with Kevin and promise me you won't do anything rash." She nodded mutely and watched him walk to the door, incredulous over his lack of hatred. Kevin hugged him briefly before closing the door behind him. Howie walked slowly to the stairs and started down them. Half way he stopped, took in a deep breath and raised his eyes to the ceiling, "God, help me on this. Help me understand. Help me deal with this the right way."