A NEW DAY by Michelle T © 2000 CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!" Michelle and AJ both jumped at the harsh voice and fell off each other. Kevin strode into the room, deathly calm, and picked up AJ's jeans and threw them at him. "Get dressed!" He stared at him venomously. He turned slightly and picked up her jeans, shirt and bra. He eyed her ripped panties and then scooped them up and shoved them in his pocket. AJ and Michelle were frozen in shock. Kevin leaned over and pulled Michelle up by her arm and led her over to the half-bathroom behind the piano. He turned to AJ again when he reached the door. "I said get dressed, NOW!" AJ jumped at the sound of his voice and pulled his jeans on. Kevin pushed Michelle into the bathroom and handed her clothes to her. He watched her carefully as she stood there avoiding his eyes and clutching her things before her. "Michelle, get dressed," he said softly, then closed the door and turned back to AJ. AJ was sitting on the edge of the couch, shirtless, with his head in his hands, moaning and mumbling. Kevin walked over to him and yanked him upwards. "What the fuck did you just do!" The anger in his eyes made AJ cringe, he turned his head away. "Christ Kevin, I hurt her!" another sob wrenched from his mouth, "I took all my anger over Deanna out on her! Oh, God, what have I done?" "What the fuck are you talking about? I saw you two. She was willingly participating!" Kevin turned away from AJ and began pacing back and forth, his hands clenched into fists. Suddenly he stopped and rushed back over to AJ, grabbing him by the arm once again. "You better start making sense, Bone, or I swear I'll kill you!" Michelle stood trembling in the bathroom for several moments before absentmindedly pulling on her clothes. She leaned against the bathroom door and sunk to the floor, mentally kicking herself over and over. Oh God, Howie! Oh god, I've betrayed him so bad. And Patti, my own sister! I'm nothing but a whore, AJ's right. This is all my doing! I don't deserve to live…….. "Let go, damn it!" AJ shouted at Kevin. He yanked his arm away and fell back onto the couch, covering his face with his hands. "You reek! What the fuck have you been doing, drinking all day? And why did you take off last night?" "Yes! Jesus Christ, I couldn't deal with it! All I could think of was that one year ago today, Deanna was lost and alone and killed herself! God, Kevin, didn't you realize what date it was?" AJ looked wide eyed and frantic at Kevin. "Yes, I did, AJ." He replied quietly. "So I came here, full of rage for not being there for her. Hating myself, hating you, hating Michelle! I called her, not intending to hurt her, and she came rushing over! God, she doesn't even know what day it is!" AJ pulled at his hair and slammed a fist down onto the couch. "Jesus, Kevin, she came here out of concern for me and I treated her like shit! I called her names, I forced myself on her, I hit her and thank god I stopped when I did, or……I don't know what I would have done!" Kevin stared at him wide eyed. He sank down onto the coffee table and put his head in his hands. "What I saw was not you attacking her!" "It wasn't! She forgave me and then gave herself to me. Fuck! She has to think this is all her fault. God, what is she a fucking saint or just totally deranged. How could she have forgiven me? How could I have done this to her!" he screamed. Michelle heard his screams and cried harder. She stood up quickly and started wildly kicking the door, screaming incoherently and throwing anything in her sight against the mirror. It shattered down upon the counter, bits flying out at her. She grabbed a piece of the glass and stared at it. AJ and Kevin jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. Kevin flung the door open, grabbed her and pulled her out, slapping the glass out of her hands. AJ stared hopelessly at her. Oh God, look what I've done! Michelle screamed and struggled against Kevin, pounding her fists against him. "Let me go! Let me go! I'm a fucking whore and I don't deserve to live. Let me gooooo! Oh god, I've betrayed Howie. Oh god, Howieeeeeeee!!" Her legs buckled and Kevin drew her down onto the floor, not releasing his hold on her. AJ sank to his knees next to them, tears cascading down his face. "Ssshh, stop Babe. Stop, this isn't your fault. Howie loves you. We all love you. Stop, baby!" Kevin said softly over and over. AJ reached out his hand to touch her, but pulled it back quickly. I don't deserve to touch her, ever again. I've done this to her! He lowered his head and stared at his hands. Michelle collapsed against Kevin out of exhaustion, but continued to cry and gasp. "Kevin? Oh Kevin, promise me…….promise me you'll take care of Kimberly. She loves you like a father. Please, please take care of my baby!" AJ's head flew up at her words. "Michelle…….please don't. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of this. Please, baby, I'm sorry." He laid his hand on her back this time. She flinched briefly and he pulled away. "Michelle, don't talk like this. Kimberly has you, a wonderful mother…" Kevin said, suddenly extremely scared. "NO!!! I don't deserve anything. I just want to die! I'm not worth shit and I'm going to die! Let me go!!" she struggled against him again and tried to stand. AJ grabbed her from the back and held onto her, along with Kevin. His wild sobs against her back made her stop struggling and she listened to him for a moment before pulling her face away from Kevin's chest. She turned towards AJ and stared at him incredulously. Why is he crying like that? This is all my fault. "No, no, no! God, Michelle, I didn't mean it. This is not your fault. I'm the one who attacked you. I said horrible things to you, I didn't mean them. I forced myself on you. GOD!! I hit you!" He screamed.