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Can You Feel Me? : Chapter 24
Katya nodded her head in an indication that she understood and answered him
back, "Ok, Nick. But don't take too long. The longer you hide, the harder
it is to come back." She put her hand on the side of his face, "And the
more you hurt them."
Nick's blue eyes filled with storm clouds as he looked away from her and
into the mirror. He stood there staring into space as Katya felt him
retreat further and further away from her.
Katya felt a twitch go through her. Tension seemed to hang thick around her
and she knew it was coming from Nick. She shuddered. He hadn't figured out
yet that his moods, his tension, his sadness all affected her. She was
bound to him in a way that even she didn't understand.
The knot of tension and anger inside of Nick kept growing bigger and
tighter. 'Why do I have to be like this? Why was I ever born if I was so
unwanted the whole time? Why can't she just try to love me?' His head was
spinning with all of the questions whirling through it. He felt like his
head was going to split in half, his temples throbbing violently. An anger
unlike anything he had ever known surged through his veins like acid,
consuming everything in its wake.
Katya felt like she was stretched to the limit and if one more thing
happened, she would shatter into a thousand pieces. Yet her tolerance was
stretched further. This was the only time she could ever feel sensations
and she didn't like it, not one bit. She felt everything is if she was in
his body, the heaviness of the anger, it burning through his veins, his
heartbeat thundered in her ears like it was her own. A whimper escaped her
lips as she doubled over in physical pain, even though she had no body;
Nick's pain.
Out in the room, Kevin and Sterling continued to talk softly, blissfully
unaware of what was taking place only a short distance from them. Unaware
of the anger radiating off of Nick in waves, unaware of the way it was
consuming him like a plague, leaving cinders of his former self in it's
wake. It was all happening so close to them, but yet a million miles
further than they could reach inside of Nick.
Brian, Howie and AJ were still in the hall. Brian felt an uneasiness, like
something was gnawing at the pit of his stomach. He sighed, 'I'm probably
getting an ulcer from all of this. Lovely.' He crossed his arms over his
stomach, gripping his sides and shifted lower in the seat, trying to ease
the feeling inside of him.
I didn't work, the feeling only got worse. Brian squirmed, getting more and
more uncomfortable. He didn't know what the hell was going on with him.
'Oh god, don't let it be my heart. Please, don't let it be my heart.' He
squeezed his eyes closed and felt his whole body tense up, like he was
preparing to fight. It kept getting worse and worse, a whimper filling his
ears. Katya. His mind raced. Nick! until he bolted up from his seat,
scaring Howie and AJ.
Katya was almost in the fetal position on the floor, the pain almost too
much to bear. She saw Nick raise his hand and draw it back into a fist.
Despite the pain ripping through her she stood and tried to grab his hand.
As she reached for him, she felt herself slammed back against the wall, his
anger not letting anything penetrate it, not even her.
Brian ran for the door to the room, passing a stunned Howie and AJ. He
swung open the door, "Nick, no! NO!"
Nick's fist shot forward and made contact with the mirror. The silver
backed glass resisted moving at first, then gave under the persuasive force
of the flesh barreling at it and shattered with a bang that echoed
throughout the room.
Katya felt the fist as if it was aimed at her. She felt the anger behind it
and she felt her own form resisting like the glass of the mirror, but was
overpowered like the reflective glass. With a silent scream that was only
heard by Brian and somewhere deep down by Nick, her form shattered into
shards of light that streaked out of the doorway of the bathroom like a
sunburst. The shards of light came to rest in the air, hanging thickly like
a blanket of stars up near the ceiling.
Kevin's head snapped to the door when it flew open and Brian yelled Nick's
name and the word no, then it swung the other way when he heard a shattering
sound and an incredible blast of light filled his eyes for a brief second.
When it cleared, he rubbed his eyes and opened them again. He was seeing
stars. Thousands and thousands of stars sparkling in the room.
He looked at Sterling and found him staring up at the air around them also.
Then he looked at Brian, who had been thrown to the floor feeling the impact
like it was an explosion, clutching his stomach, in unbearable pain. He too
was looking at the light. Only the look on his face was not one of wonder,
it was one of complete horror.
Kevin rubbed his eyes again, no it was definitely there. He could see it,
Sterling could see it and Brian seemed to be horrified by it. He didn't
have time to think about it. That shattering sound had come from the
bathroom and so had the light. Nick. Oh god, Nick.
He heard the sound of water running and ran to the bathroom to see the
mirror shattered and it lying in pieces all around, and in, the sink. Nick
was gazing ahead like it was still there, one of his hands bloodied from the
confrontation with the looking glass and a washcloth in the other. Nick was
readying himself to wash his face like nothing was wrong. Kevin saw him
stop the water and start the journey to dunk the washcloth in the sink that
was filled with water and shards of mirror. His hands got closer and closer
to the dangerous jumble of liquid and glass in the sink.
With a start, Kevin grabbed Nick, wrenching him away from the sink.
Nick just stood there, staring ahead, his hand bleeding and the washcloth
hanging from the other. If it wasn't for the devastation in the small room,
Kevin would have questioned if Nick had done anything. Nick turned in to
face him and stood close to Kevin, his arm clamping back around the older
man's waist and his head resting on Kevin's chest.
With a sigh of confusion, Kevin wrapped his arms around Nick and fell into
the rocking motion that Nick had started swaying to.
Brian, Sterling along with Howie and AJ, who were in the doorway, jaws
hanging, all looked up the lights that seemed suspended in the air near the
ceiling. Then one by one the lights started to twinkle and free fall slowly
downwards, flickering out before they reached the floor.
Brian watched it all and knew that they weren't stars at all. He knew the
light was Katya. The mask of horror still affixed to his face, he brought
his hand to his stomach, where the feeling had suddenly subsided as quick as
it came. Softly, under his breath, half in wonder, half in horror he
whispered, "My God, Nick. What have you done?"
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