One month later....
AJ's mind wandered as he drove down the scenic back roads. The past few weeks had been extremely difficult for him, and he saw no signs of improvement. Things at home with Serena had hit an all time low. The only thing he could say good about that relationship was that she was almost never there. When she was, though, she made his life a living hell. Her constant bitching and nagging kept his nerves on edge. He hadn't done anything to tip her off to his feelings for Destiny, but it still seemed she knew somehow. More than once she had flat out accused him of sleeping with her, always referring to her as "the little tramp".
"You don't even know her, not really," he had said.
Listen to you!" Serena snapped back. "Always taking her side. Always coming to her rescue. You two make me sick."
"You did it, didn't you?" he'd asked. "You had something to do with her accident."
Serena had never directly answered that last question, but she did provide an alibi for herself the night Destiny had heard something in her driveway. And, the police hadn't uncovered any physical evidence that pointed to anyone specific.
In addition to the problems at home, AJ was also having trouble understanding Destiny's decision to take Nick back. She simply let him back in, without hesitation, without question. And things with them still hadn't changed. Nick continued to go off on wild goose chases, disappearing without any warning. He hadn't even been around to take her to the follow up doctor's appointments after she was released from the hospital. It had been AJ who had taken her.
He thought back about the conversation they'd had that day.
"Can I ask you a really personal question?" he'd asked.
"Sure," she answered.
"Why do you allow Nick to do the things he does, to neglect you?"
After thinking for a moment, she had simply said, "I love him."
"You really truly love him?"
"Yeah, I do," she'd answered in a shaky voice, leaving AJ less than convinced.
AJ knew Nick wasn't a bad guy. He didn't believe he intentionally meant to neglect Destiny. He was just so involved, so wrapped up in finding Caitlyn and this baby, and AJ felt Destiny deserved more. And he knew that Nick would admit that, as well, if confronted with it.
As he continued to drive, he reached to turn the radio on, his fingertips touching the partially ejected cd that Des had left when he'd taken her to the doctor. A smile forming on his lips, he slid it in and turned the volume up. As the music played, he was lost in thoughts of her.
*"When the rain's blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love...."*
AJ could feel the pangs in his heart, the desire to be the rock she so desperately needed.... the one to take her out of the cold, lonely world she had been living in, and show her a warm and loving one. To be the shoulder she cried on, the body she clung to, was his ultimate goal.
*"When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong...."*
He thought once again of their conversation. When she'd said she loved Nick, it was almost as if she had been trying to convince herself. Thinking even further back to the night he'd taken her home, he remembered the passion he had seen in her eyes. The desire, the want. She had responded to his touch with great intensity. He felt she knew of his feelings, and had the same feelings herself, but was afraid to embrace them.
*"I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There aint nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love...."*
A single tear spilled from his brown eyes, and dropped down his face as the image of her in his arms faded. Would that be the first and only time he would ever get to hold her? The thought that it could be broke his aching heart.
*"Storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you aint seen nothing like me yet
There aint nothing that I wouldnt do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love"*
Those last words had said it all. There was nothing he wouldn't do to hold her again. He was going to get his angel, no matter what he had to do. All he needed was a sign to show him the way to her heart. Or was he already there?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's out on the back patio," Faith instructed AJ as she answered the door, obviously referring to Howie.
"Well, good morning to YOU, too, sunshine," he smiled as he entered the house.
"I'm sorry for being short with you. I just don't feel well," she explained.
"It's ok," he flashed another quick smile, making his way through the house to the back.
“Hey, man," Howie greeted him. "What's up?"
"I feel like I'm suffocating, D," he started as he pulled up a chair to sit. "I don't know what to do."
"Tell me what's going on."
"I can put it to you plain and simply. I am in love with a woman I can never have, and I'm trapped in a relationship with the spawn of Satan."
"You always have had a way with words," Howie chuckled.
"I'm completely miserable," he said, burying his face in his hands.
"So, you never told Destiny how you feel?"
"No. What would the point be? She's made it quite clear to me, more than once might I add, that she loves Nick," he answered.
"Alex, we both know what's going on with Nick. Now, I'm in no way trying to speak badly of him, but she isn't gonna put up with his behavior much longer. And who can blame her?"
"She's put up with it this long," AJ argued.
"Man," Howie said, a very serious tone in his voice. "Do you really love her?"
Taking a second before answering, AJ finally looked at his best friend and said, "More than anything."
"Then don't give up."
After finishing their talk, feeling a little better about things, AJ stood up to leave.
"Thanks for listening, as always."
"Anytime, man," Howie smiled. "You know I'm always here for you. And, remember what I said. Don't give up. Love is worth fighting for."
"Yes, it is," he smiled. "See ya later, man."
As he opened the front door on his way out, AJ was stopped by Faith coming down the stairs.
"Did Nick ever come back?" she asked.
"What?" he asked, confused, unsure of what she was talking about. "When?"
"Nick. Did he ever come back?" she repeated. "He came in right after you did and I told him where you two were. I thought he was gonna join you guys out there, but he came back in saying he'd forgotten something and out the door he went. He looked a little strange, though. But, you never know about him."
"Yeah," AJ half laughed. "I hope you feel better."
It wasn't until he was backing out of the driveway that AJ realized what had just happened.
"Shit!" he exclaimed, pounding his steering wheel. "He heard us!"
He knew that Nick had overheard the conversation between Howie and himself. He hadn't seen him, but he knew it nonetheless.
"What the hell am I gonna do now?" he asked himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at Howie's.... Howie continued to sit on the back patio in the warm morning sunshine. His thoughts drifted back to a time when things between he and Faith were much better, much happier. "What has happened to us?" he pondered aloud. Closing his brown eyes, he softly said, "Show me the way back to there."
He was jarred from his thoughts by a car door. Thinking Faith was upstairs lying down, he went to see who was there. What he saw next was the last thing he expected.
"What are you doing?" he asked, stepping onto the front porch.
Faith didn't answer as she continued to put the two suitcases in her car. She walked silently back into the house, passing him without a word. As she did, he could see that she had been crying.
"What is wrong?" he asked. "What is going on?"
Turning back to face him, she answered. "I can't do this to you. I can't expect this much from you, when you already have so much on you. Please understand I am doing what I think is best."
"Faith.... what are you talking about?" he asked, grabbing her as she tried to walk away.
"Howie, listen, I love you. I really do. That is why I have to leave. I can't stay here and hold you back. Please just let me leave."
His grip on her arm loosened and she reached around him to grab the last bag. He stood there in a silent shock as she walked out the door, out of his life.
What just happened? The thought ran over and over through his mind. What the hell just happened?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick couldn't believe what he'd just heard. The words he'd heard one of his best friends say had changed his life in an instant. How could he not have seen this coming? As much time as they spent together, it was inevitible. He had noticed how close AJ and Destiny had become, but brushed it off as mere friendship. But, now, after hearing those words come out of AJ's mouth, he had to wonder if Destiny had the same feelings. Things between them had definitely not been right since he'd returned from the last major trip he'd taken. His mind drifted back to an argument they'd had just a few days before.
"Nick, you're never here," she'd said. "You're either performing or searching for this 'ghost' you have been seeing. How can we possibly stay close when we have no time together? You just up and leave with no warning, cancelling plans, leaving me alone. What do you want from me?"
"Des," he'd pleaded. "I thought you understood. I HAVE to do this. I HAVE to find her."
"Why? Because of the baby? Or because of her?"
He hadn't been able to answer that last question right away. His pause opened the door for her next question.
"Do you want to be free so you can pursue her?" she'd asked softly, her voice barely audible.
The truth of the question hit him like a ton of bricks. But, instead of telling her how he felt, he lashed out at her in anger.
"Oh, yeah. You'd love that, wouldn't you? Then you could screw AJ whenever you want!"
Her silence after that statement raised many questions in his mind. Was she silent because it was true? Or because she was hurt by the accusation?
Those were questions he still hadn't answered, and wasn't sure he wanted the answers to. He was almost afraid to know the truth. And, then suddenly, it came to him. The answers to all the questions. It was clear to him what he had to do. Picking up his phone, he dialed Destiny's number.
"Hello?" she answered after a few rings.
"Hey, it's Nick."
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Nothing, sweetie," he said. "Listen, I know things between us haven't been great lately, but I think I've found a way to make it better. I've gotta make a quick trip for a show, but I will be back this weekend. If you don't have any plans, I'd like to see you on Saturday. I've got a huge surprise for you."
"A surprise?" she asked. "For me? What is it?"
"Now, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"
"I guess not," she said, feigning sadness. "That's cool. Just give me
a call when you get back."
"I will. And, Des?"
"Yeah."
"I do love you," he said. "Your happiness is my number one goal."
After hanging up, the wheels in his mind turned on how to make this
plan of his happen. There were certain things that he had to make
happen if it was to work, but he knew it would be well worth the
effort. A smile crossed his face as thoughts of the future entered
his mind. The answer had been right in front of him all along. He
just hoped he was taking the right path to get to it. Show me the
way.... the way to make this happen, he prayed.