"Where the hell are you, Carter??" AJ exclaimed after the fourth ring. He'd been dialing and redialing his cell number for over an hour with no luck. He finally just left a voicemail message, hoping Nick would check it soon.
"Hey Carter. Where are you?? Man, this is no fucking time to be losing your damn mind. Des has been in an accident, and right now is in emergency surgery. You need to get to the hospital as soon as you get this message."
Ending that call, he began to dial Howie's number. He knew they would want to know, especially with Des and Faith being so close. After just a couple of rings, he heard his best friend answer.
"Hey, D. Listen, I need you to come to the hospital. Destiny has been in an accident. Well, actually, so have I, but I'm ok," he said, almost all in one breath.
"What?" Howie exclaimed. "Man, slow down. Tell me what happened."
"Look.... I'll explain everything when you get here. Please.... I need you."
Noting the fear and despair in the younger man's voice, he assured him he'd be there as quickly as he could.
Hanging up the phone, AJ began to pace the small waiting room once again. He'd tried calling home to let Serena know what had happened, but she hadn't been there. He'd had to leave a message there, as well. She's probably out shopping, blowing more of my damn money, he thought.
But, he couldn't think about that. He had far more important things on his mind at the moment. There were so many emotions raging inside of him, he felt as though his head would explode any minute. Guilt. If I had been paying attention to where I was going, he thought, they could've got Des here a lot quicker. That wasted time could very well prove critical, or even fatal. He was well aware of that. Fear. What if she doesn't make it? he thought, a sick feeling coming over him. What if I've finally found the woman I've searched for all of my life and then I lose her like this? Regret. As much as he didn't want to accept the fact, AJ knew there was a possibility he wouldn't get another chance to tell her how he felt. I should've told her before, when I DID have the chance.
Suddenly feeling extremely weak, he sat in one of the cold hard chairs and laid his head in his hands. Closing his eyes, he began to softly pray.
"God, I know that You don't hear from me as often as You should.... but, You are the only one who can help me now. Behind those doors, on a cold, hard operating table, lies someone very important and very special to me. I was blind for a while.... but, now.... now I see it clearly.... more clearly than I've ever seen anything. She is the one.... the one I was meant to find. And, I know at first I was afraid. Afraid to take the chance.... afraid of change.... afraid of rejection.... and afraid of ending up alone. I'm not afraid anymore. I am ready to embrace my fate with open arms. I am ready and willing to do whatever it takes to show her I'm the one for her.... as she is for me. That's where You come in. God, please let her pull through this.... please give me the chance to tell her how I feel. I promise I won't let another opportunity slip away without telling her everything."
Taking in a deep breath, AJ exhaled slowly, hoping with all his heart his prayer would be answered. Glancing up at the clock, he realized she'd been in surgery for over two hours. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. His nerves beginning to take over again, he stood and started retracing the thousands of paces he'd made earlier around the small room. Behind him, he heard the door open.
"Hey, man. How are you?" Howie asked softly.
AJ didn't say a word. The tears that fell from his sad brown eyes said it all. Noticing the stitches in his lip and the bandage covering the obviously shaved section of the back of his head, Howie said, "Come on. Let's sit down, and you can start from the beginning."
Sitting across from him, AJ began to fill Howie in, giving him as much information as he had himself.
"She had a car wreck?" he asked. "Where? What happened? Was it a bad wreck?"
"I don't know much about it," he answered, shaking his head. "I don't know where or even how it happened. It must've been pretty bad, though. Man, she didn't look good at all. They said she had some internal bleeding that they had to get stopped. They've had her back there for two and a half hours now. And they said if they didn't get the bleeding stopped.... they might.... they could.... um.... lose her," he finally finished, tears continuing to stream down his face.
Howie walked over and sat next to him, placing an arm around his shoulder.
"It's gonna be ok," he tried to reassure him. "Maybe it's good that it's taking so long."
"I hope you're right."
"Well, there's nothing we can do right now except wait.... and pray," he replied.
"Oh, I've been praying. Believe me, I have."
Howie smiled at him, trying to get him to smile and decided to ask about what happened to his lip and head to try to get his mind off Destiny. He had no idea that would just cause his friend more tears.
"You still haven't told me what happened to you."
He could clearly see the pain in AJ's expression when he began to answer. His voice cracking, tears falling like rain, he explained to him what happened with the ambulance.
"Man!" Howie said, floored by what he heard. "Sounds like you were extremely lucky."
"Yeah. That's what I hear. But, it was at Destiny's expense. The time they wasted attending to me was time they could've used to help her."
"Don't blame yourself, Alex. It isn't your fault."
"Yes it is!" he argued. "And if something happens to her, I will never forgive myself."
Howie sat silent for a moment, watching his best friend. They'd known each other for many, many years, and were extremely close. They had always been able to talk about anything. But, in all the time he'd known him, he'd never seen AJ like this.
"Why don't you tell me what's really going on?" he asked.
"Wh-what do you mean? I told you what happened."
"Come on, man. You know I can read you like a book. What is it you're hiding?"
Letting out a long, heavy sigh, AJ prepared to tell him. He knew there was no need to try to keep it from him. He'd eventually figure it out anyway.
"You know those dreams I told you about?" he finally asked.
"The ones with Destiny in bed with Kevin?"
"Yeah," he answered. "Well, it turned out that it wasn't Kevin."
"Oh really? Who was it?"
"Um.... well.... it was me."
"Ok," he said, a smile forming on his lips. "Go on."
"You also know about the problems Serena and I have been having and how miserable I've been, right?"
"Yeah, and for the record," Howie started. "You know how I feel about that. I'd have kicked her to the curb a long time ago. You're a better man than I am to have put up with the crap you've put up with."
"I know she's never been your favorite person, and I finally see why. I've spent a lot of time hoping and wishing and even praying for a sign. Something to show me which direction I need to go in to find happiness, to find a way out of the misery. Now I know this may sound a little out there, a little crazy. But, it was like that dream where I realized it was ME in that bed was my "wake up call", my sign. Man, I'm telling you, it was so clear, so real, so much that I could actually feel her touch on my skin."
"That doesn't sound crazy at all," Howie reassured him.
"You know how well Destiny and I get along, how close we've become. And, even before that dream, I had started noticing deeper feelings for her. Feelings other than friendship. And, then, the night of Brian and Graycie's anniversary party, after Carter disappeared, I took her home. I don't know what come over me, man. One minute we were standing there talking, the next I had her in my arms, both of us enjoying an electrifying kiss."
"Wow!" Howie said, clearly shocked.
"Yeah," he finally cracked a smile. "Wow, indeed. That was a very VERY passionate night."
"Uh, did you.... um.... you know.... did you??"
"No. We didn't. We stopped."
"But she reacted to the kiss?" he asked.
"Yes. She did. The desire on both of our parts was so obvious. But, she pulled away, saying she couldn't do it. And I understood. I think she saw what I was feeling in my eyes, and it scared her. Hell, it scares me," he said.
"Oh. So, you haven't told her how you feel?"
"No," he replied, the sadness returning to his voice. "I didn't tell her. I chickened out. And, now, I'm scared I may not get another chance."
"Don't think like that. You've got to stay positive."
"I know I do," he nodded. "It's just so scary."
"I know, man. And, you know I'm always on your side. But, there seems to be a couple of minor details you've forgotten about," Howie stated.
AJ gave him a puzzled look. "What minor details are you referring to?"
"Nick and Serena."
After a long sigh, AJ began to speak once again.
"I know. You're right. I'm just dreading it," AJ replied.
"Oh, I'm sure it's not gonna be pretty. I would expect her to be a
mega bitch about it. And, do you actually think she will just throw
her hands up and walk away? Are you sure enough about your feelings
to go through that? Is it worth what you're most likely going to have
to put up with?" Howie posed the serious questions to AJ
Without any hesitation whatsoever, he looked directly into his
friend's eyes and said, "I'm sure. It is worth it. Des is worth it. I
am in love with her, completely. She is the one for me."
Smiling back at him, Howie said, "I'm so happy for you.... but
there's still Nick. Do you think he'll just back off and let you have
his girlfriend?"
"I would never come between them. I will leave the decision up to her
as to what or who she chooses. But, my opinion is he doesn't deserve
her. He spends more time chasing a girl he isn't even sure exists
than he spends with Destiny. He disappears for days and sometimes
weeks at a time. He just up and leaves her, sometimes stranding her,
whenever he has one of his so-called visions. He totally takes her
for granted, expecting her to be there when it's convenient for him.
She shouldn't have to compete with a "vision"," AJ finished.
"I agree. But, I think you're right to leave the choice up to her.
When you get to talk to her, lay all your cards on the table. Let her
know how you feel, and that you will wait patiently until she
decides."
"Patiently, huh?" he laughed.
"I know how hard that will be for you, but you can do it. I have
faith in you," Howie returned.
"Speaking of faith," AJ started. "Where is she?"
He immediately noticed Howie's smile disappear. "She will be here in
a bit. She had a few errands to run and then she's coming."
"How are things with you two? When are you guys gonna take 'the big
plunge'?" he asked, ribbing Howie.
"I don't know," was all he offered in answer.
"Uh oh. Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise."
"All couples have their share of troubles," Howie started. "No
relationship is perfect."
"Maybe not," AJ replied. "But, yours and hers seemed to be as close
to perfect as one can get.
"Things aren't always as they seem."
"Ok. Out with it. What's going on?"
"Nothing really," he tried to play it off. "It's no big deal. And,
besides, you've already got enough on you without having me dump my
problems on you as well."
"Oh no you don't, Howard!" AJ answered sternly. "Now, you listened to
me, and even offered advice. It's my turn to do the same for you."
"Ok. I'll tell you, but it is really no big deal."
"You just let ME decide that."
Pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts, Howie wasn't exactly
sure what to tell his friend. "I'm not sure what the problem is
honestly. Faith has been very distant lately. And when I try to reach
out to her, she withdraws even more. I've tried talking to her,
asking her what is wrong, but she always says nothing is wrong. We
hardly ever talk anymore at all. Not about anything meaningful. And
we've always carried on great conversations. She doesn't want me to
touch her or kiss her or even hug her. And she has always claimed to
love my hugs, loved having me hold her. She said being in my arms
made her feel safe. But, not anymore. We haven't made love in two
weeks, and for us, that is a mighty long time. The thing that worries
me the most, though, is how sad she has seemed to be lately. You know
how happy she usually is, always smiling and laughing and loving
life. I can't remember the last time I saw her smile. I've even heard
her in bed at night crying, when she thought I was asleep. Again, I
tried to reach out to her, and again, she said nothing was wrong.
But, I know her well enough to know that something is definitely
wrong. She is hiding something.... something that has her upset. But
what could it be? I've racked my brain. She's never hidden anything
from me before. I just don't know what to do."
Shaking his head, AJ said, "Man, I had no idea. I wish there was
something I could do to help you."
Before Howie could reply, the waiting room door opened, and the
doctor appeared. Standing to meet him, AJ prepared himself for the
worst.
"She came through the surgery just fine," he started, his words
lifting what felt like a ton of bricks off AJ's shoulders. "We
managed to get all the bleeding stopped and made sure nothing else
was going to bleed. That's what took us so long in there. She does
have quite a few stitches. There were a lot of lacerations from the
shattered glass, which we also removed. She was very lucky. She
could've easily been killed. But, her most serious injuries are two
cracked ribs, a compression fracture to her spine, and a mild
concussion."
"But.... she will recover.... right?" AJ asked.
"Oh, yes. She'll recover. It will take some time and a fair amount of
pain, but she'll be back to normal before you know it."
"Thanks, Doc," AJ said with tremendous gratitude, shaking his hand.
"Yes, sir. You are welcome," he replied. "You can see her in just a
few minutes, though it may be a little while before she wakes up."
"Great," he smiled. "Thank you so much."
As the doctor left the room, AJ looked up, giving the thumbs up
signal, and said, "And thank YOU, too."
As he turned back to face him, Howie could see the relief and
happiness glowing in AJ's smile.
"See? I told you things would be ok," he smiled.
"Yes, you did. Thank you for being here for me."
"No problem, man. What kind of best friend would I be if I hadn't
been here for you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Right this way," the nurse said, leading AJ, along with Howie, to
Destiny's room.
Stopping just outside of room number 109, she turned and said, "She
is still asleep, but you may talk to her quietly. Just speak softly
so she doesn't become startled."
AJ opened the door and stepped inside as Howie thanked the nurse. As
he entered the room behind his friend, he stood back, allowing the
younger man to approach the bed alone. He watched as AJ stood beside
her, staring into her face, his eyes so full of love. As a single
tear rolled down his cheek, he gently sat on the edge of the bed and
tenderly took her hand in his. As he traced her soft fingers with
his, he felt her hand begin to tighten around his.
"Hey, D. I think she's waking up," he said excitedly.
"Are you going to tell her?" he asked.
"As soon as she is awake good and knows what's going on," AJ
answered. "Yes, I'm gonna tell her."
"Um.... I think I'll go try to call Faith and uh.... you know....
give you some time alone."
"Ok," he nodded as Howie started out the door. "Oh, and Howie?"
"Yeah, man?" he answered, turning back to face him.
"Thanks," he smiled.
"Good luck," Howie smiled back, and went on out the door.
AJ watched Destiny's face wince in pain as she began to wake up, her
groans becoming louder. She slowly opened her eyes, squinting to
clear her vision.
"AJ?" she said softly.
"Yes, sweetie. It's me. I'm here," he answered, reaching to push a
stray strand of hair off of her face.
He accidentally brushed one of the cuts on her face as he moved it,
causing her to jump.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I'm ok," she whispered. "Um.... what happened?"
"You don't remember?" he asked.
"Not totally," she answered.
"You had an accident, a wreck. You were brought here in an ambulance
and you had surgery."
"Surgery??" she exclaimed. "Am I ok?"
"You have a couple of cracked ribs, a compression fracture of your
spine, and a mild concussion. But, the doc says you'll be back to
normal in no time," he finished with a smile.
Looking into her crystal blue eyes, silently thanking God for the
miracle he'd been granted, AJ was surprised when Destiny reached out
and softly touched his bottom lip.
"What happened to you?" she asked.
He gave her a condensed version of what had happened. After
explaining that, he added, "I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?" she asked. "For what?" She could see his beautiful brown
eyes welling up with tears, and gave his hand a firm squeeze. "What
do you have to be sorry about?"
"I should've been more careful. I should've been paying better
attention," he started.
He decided it was time.... time to tell her everything.
"Des, I was so scared.... so afraid something was gonna happen to
you.... afraid that my stupidity may have cost you the time needed to
save your life."
When he paused for a moment, she took the opportunity to tell him how
she felt about it.
"Don't be sorry. It isn't your fault. I know that you didn't
intentionally do it," she said.
"You know that I'd never ever do anything to hurt you?" he asked.
"I do know that," she smiled. "And, it's over now. You don't have to
be afraid anymore. You said yourself that I will be back to normal in
no time."
"And I am so thankful for that," he said, lifting her hand to his
mouth, placing a soft kiss on it.
"Well, since we are giving thanks, there is something I'm very
thankful for, as well," she said softly.
"And what might that be?"
"Out of all the people who could've been here," she started. "I am
very thankful that it was you that I woke up to."
That statement from her completely took his breath away. Wow, he
thought. It was all the confirmation he needed that it was indeed
time to lay it on the line.
"Destiny," he began slowly. "There's something I need to talk to you
about."
"Sounds serious. Is something wrong?"
"No, sweetie," he smiled and squeezed her hand. "For once everything
is great. What I want to talk to you about is the relationship we
share. Friendship, more, whatever it's called at this point. I think
we are pretty close. Would you agree?"
"I'd say we are extremely close," she agreed.
"Good. And would you also agree that we share a lot of the same
interests, that we have a lot in common and that there's a very
natural chemistry between us?"
Thinking for a moment, trying to determine exactly what he was
asking, she looked into his eyes and saw that look. The same look
she'd seen in his eyes the night he'd taken her home. The look that
scared her so badly. Only this time, she wasn't scared at all.
"I.... I would agree with that, too," she said, suddenly becoming
very nervous.
"Good," he said. "That makes what I have to say next a lot easier and
a lot less scary for me."
He paused once more, knowing this was it. And he knew once he said
the words, there would be no turning back. Was he ready to take that
chance? He was.
"What I'm trying to say is.... I'm in...."
"OH MY GOD!!! What happened??" Nick exclaimed, bursting into the
room. "Baby, I'm so very sorry," he said as he took the spot quickly
vacated by AJ. Laying his head on Destiny's chest, he continued to
apologize.
"Can you please forgive me?" he pleaded. "I'm just so relieved to see
that you're ok. And, thank you, AJ, for being here with her until I
could get here. I really appreciate that," he finished, not even
taking notice that AJ himself had been injured.
"Uh.... no problem, man," answered a very disappointed AJ.
Turning back to Destiny, Nick said, "Darling, you don't ever have to
worry about me not being here again. I've seen the light. And I
promise I've changed."
Destiny didn't answer him. She really didn't have an answer for him.
She could remember a time not so long before when she would've just
melted if Nick had made a statement such as the one he'd just made.
But not this time. The memory of the love she'd felt between her
heart and his was now just that.... a memory. It was almost as if
that love had been 'cut out' during her surgery. Even with Nick
there, professing his love and promising to change his ways, she
found herself overwhelmed with feelings.... wishing it were still AJ
holding her hand and sitting beside her.
Looking at AJ, she could see the hurt in his eyes. She wished she
could reach out to him, take away his pain. But, it was a pain that
she, too, felt.
Thankfully, there was a knock at the door, breaking the tension. The
door slowly opened and a police officer entered the room.
"Hello. I'm Officer Taylor. I need to ask you a couple of questions
if you feel up to it," he said.
"Ok. I'll try to answer. There really isn't much I remember, though,
to be honest," Destiny answered.
"I understand your brakes went out on you. Is that correct?"
"Yes, they did. That's about the only thing I remember clearly. I
remember pressing the brake, but it didn't work..... Wait!! Please
tell me I didn't hit those babies!!" she cried, her face as white as
a ghost.
"No, ma'am. You didn't. That was a pretty brave thing you did,
risking your own life to save theirs."
Then she remembered jerking the wheel to avoid that minivan. Thank
God, she sighed to herself. I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd
hit them.
"Have you had previous problems with the brakes or had they recently
been worked on?"
"No sir. I never had any trouble at all with them before," she
answered.
"Can you think of anyone who might have a grudge against you?" he
asked.
"No. Why??" she asked, wondering what the officer was really getting
at.
"From the initial inspection, it appears that your brakes may have
been tampered with."
Immediately upon hearing that, AJ recalled a statement Serena made
the night he took Destiny home from the anniversary party.
"So, you're choosing the little tramp over ME, your own fiancee?
You'll regret that choice.... and so will she."
At the time, he'd just brushed it off as her being the bitch she is
and hadn't thought much about it. But, now, after all that had
happened, he had to wonder. Was she really that desperate? That evil?