After several weeks of trying to figure out why Nick is being such a jerk, I decide to go and talk to Brian. Maybe, he can give me some insight. As I drive over there, my mind is racing. I turn up the radio to block out my thoughts. The drive to his house wasn’t long. I pulled up into the driveway and turned off the engine. God, I hope this works. If not, I don’t know what I am going to do. As I walked up, Brian greeted me at the door.

“Hey, Brian”

"Oh, hey Natalie" I say a little distracted. "I thought you were somebody else"

"Oh, is this a bad time? I can come back later.."

"No, no, it's fine... I'd appreciate some company. Come on in "

"Thanks" giving him a half smile

"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I ask as I busy myself making us coffee

"Well, to be honest, I need someone to talk to. And like you said, I could use some company."

"Well, I am good company" I joke. "At least that's what I thought. What's on your mind?"

"Am I repulsive?"

I spit my coffee out, as she asks me that. "What? Umm, have you looked in a mirror recently?"

"Yes, and I see the plain me"

I shake my head at her. "Natalie, you are a beautiful woman, with a beautiful personality. Don't let anyone ever tell you any different"

"They don't have to tell me what they think, for me to know. But thank you, it means a lot. "

Chuckling a little, "is that what's been bothering you?" I ask

"Not really. It was just a thought. I need your insight about something, because I just can't stand it anymore. And considering you are Nick's best friend...."

"Oh dear" I sigh, "I think we might need something stronger than coffee. Red or white?" I ask holding up two bottles

"I’ll start out with red, thanks"

"Hey, when we've had a talk, can you help me out with Charlie?"

"Sure, I will try and help as much as I can. "

I bow slightly, take two glasses from the cabinet and open both bottles: pouring red for Natalie and white for myself. I hand her the glass

"Thanks."

"Cheers!" as we clink glasses

"Tell me what's going on with Charlie"

I roll my eyes. "The usual with her. Last time I saw her properly was a month ago. Everything was fine then, I hardly hear from her. She won't return my calls" I say sadly

"Boy, doesn't that sound familiar. I know exactly how you feel. It's frustrating, I know. Charlie's been quite distant with me too, lately. She's become very quiet and rarely have I seen her come out of her room. I know something is wrong. I have tried talking to her, but she says she doesn't want to talk right now. At first, I thought it was something to do with school, but now, since you're pretty much getting what I am, I'm being to think it's something else. You said that things between you two were pretty good until fairly recently?"

"Well, yeah until...until we slept together again" I state, refilling our glasses. "I should have known really after the last time we discussed it, she was uncomfortable with us being that intimate. I guess I put it down to her scare"

"Did she seem like she wanted to be that intimate at the time?"

"Honestly, no. Every time we start get close to each other, she pulls away. I don't know how much more I can take. I just want to love her and have her love me back. Is that too much to ask for?" I ask pouring us some more wine.

"Maybe, I'm fighting a losing battle" I say sadly

What he said rang so true for me. Was it too much to ask for, in that I wanted to love him and have his love in return? And was it too much to ask of him, not to break my heart?”I thought, thinking to myself as my eyes started to get a bit watery

“Natalie, here..” trying to hand her the glass back. ‘Natalie, Natalie..” noticing that she wasn’t paying attention

" Sorry... I was just thinking.." "No, not at all. Maybe, she is afraid of the total commitment that sleeping with you brings. She is still pretty young and I don't think she really knows what she wants out of life just yet. Being totally committed to you, makes her lose some of the freedom she lives for. Or, maybe, she is just afraid of the off chance that she might get pregnant. I know that right now, she is no where near ready or wanting a child. And.. since you are older... she might think that you're wanting a family sooner than she is ready for. "

"You could be right" I say with a sigh. I twist round so, I'm facing her more. "Now, what about you? What's happening with you and Nick"

"Nothing"

I look at her puzzled. "What.. *hic* ... Do you mean by nothing, exactly"

"I mean nothing is going on, period. He’s never around anymore. He doesn't answer or return any of my phone calls or texts. I feel like we don’t even have a relationship anymore." taking a breath. "It just makes me wonder if he’s found someone else.”

I stare at her in disbelief at what she just said. She was gorgeous! Why would Nick want to be with someone else? Before I can stop myself, I blurt out what I'm thinking

"Natalie, you're gorgeous. Why would Nick want to be with someone else?"

Blushing a little, I smile at him. "Thank you" and talking another drink. "I don't... I don't think I'm what he wants. He always seems to be in a bad mood. Every time we are together, if ever, we fight. He gives me these pathetic excuses as to why he's acting the way he is, or as to why he can't see me or why he can't make our plans. It just makes sense, that he's seeing someone else. "

"I'm sorry he's putting you through this. It's not right that he's treating you like dirt. I really thought he had changed, when he met you, but now, I'm not so sure. He doesn't deserve you"

"Maybe it was all under false pretenses. I'm not like the other girls he's dated. I don't party at the hottest clubs, I don't share the limelight. I don’t have a rich sugar daddy who caters to my every whim. I don't have a lot of money and I can't shop at the chic, high end stores. But, I do have a solid, substantial life, in which, I feel pretty confident in, which is more than I can say for some. I know who I am and where I’m going and I don’t have to rely on others to live my life for me. Maybe, he just wants someone easy that he can get his kicks from and can be socialized with and not have to worry about any commitment. He also seems like he has to control me. I think he wants to try and make me like the girls he's used to, but I'm never going to be like those girls. " starting to get teary eyed and taking another drink “

"But...it's...good *hic* that...you're different" I tell her, letting my hand rest on her knee. "He doesn't deserve you and I know it would be easier if you didn't care so much about him, but Natalie" I pause. "You need to be with someone who knows what they've got when they have you. Someone who respects you and counts themselves as the luckiest guy in the world each time they wake up beside you"

My head dropped to rest on the back of the couch; closing my eyes. Feeling my heart drop, I couldn't help but feel totally helpless, knowing that I was fighting a no win battle. This isn’t want I wanted. I really want things to work out. But, I guess it just wasn’t mean to. Brian didn’t seem to know what was going on, so I guess the only thing left for me to do, was leave him. Tears started to stream down my face, as I could feel my whole body just give into constant inner struggle.

"Please don't waste your tears on him"

"I..I.. can't help it. I..I risked everything, putting my heart and soul into this relationship, only to have it crushed. Maybe, the only perfect relationship is in my dreams..." and I begin to drink more and more, taking in the comfort of the soothing liquid.

"Well, dreams can come true, if you believe in them. Maybe, you've been looking in the wrong place" I whisper, touching her cheek

"Have you ever wondered if we are both with the wrong person?

"No. Who... *hick* who would you be with if you weren't with Charlie?"

"You" I answer looking into her eyes

Looking into his eyes, I could see so many things that I had been missing. I wanted to embrace them all, feeling the rush of emotion. I wanted to break free of the torment and bondage, I felt myself in. Suddenly, I couldn't resist the temptation. I leaned in and brushed my lips across his.

As her lips brushed mine, I'm completely stunned. She caught me off guard, but oh, how her lips tasted so sweet and I responded. I lean in, put my arms around her and pull her closer. "You're beautiful" I murmur

I smile. "You're not just saying that, are you?" leaning back against him and taking another hearty drink.

I take the glass out of her hand and set it beside us. "No. I'm not" and I kiss her again; this time deepening it.

The instant his lips touched mine, a shiver cascaded down my spine. His lips were so soft and warm as they glided over mine. I just wanted to melt into them, and be absorbed into his comforting arms. And with that, I leaned in closer, putting my fingers in his hair and returning his kiss.

"W..would you *hic* be...m...my girl?"

“Show me how it would be”

After hearing her answer, it's all the confirmation I need. I kiss her again, my mouth exploring hers and it feels so right, as I begin to lose control of my senses

His lips crashed down on mine, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. With every stroke and flick, I could feel my body getting warm, itching for more. I can feel myself losing total control, as my hands find themselves running over his smooth muscles beneath his shirt, waiting for a chance to return the favor.

Her kisses were warm and tantalizing and my stomach was doing somersaults. The kisses become more passionate, and there's an urgency as I kiss her. I run my fingers through her hair, trying to pull her closer, and as I do so, the touch of her hand sends a shiver down my spine and my hands travel under her shirt, and over her back. I gently ease her down, so she's lying beneath me on the couch. I kiss her neck, then trail down to her collar bone.

As he trailed hot, searing kisses down neck, sensations were beginning to tingle throughout my whole body, awakening senses that had become dormant and nonexistent. I wanted more.. I wanted to feel things that I hadn't felt in such a long time. Covering his hand, I take it and move it to my thigh, slowing instigating him. As his hand strokes my thigh, and his mouth doing wonders, I can feel myself sinking into a blissful state of arousal. I quietly whisper his name, as I feel my back starting to arch.

“Touch me..” I whisper

The feeling of being wanted so much was overwhelming, as my hand caresses her thigh. I run my other hand across her cheek slowly, working my way down her neck to her chest, her skin so soft to touch. I let my hand explore further, delving inside her shirt and as I trace the outline of her bra, I let my hand explore her breasts. She was perfect. Moving my hand just for a moment, I unbutton her shirt and plant kisses where my hand had just been.

The touch of his hands, his fingers on my skin was like a fire igniting. Every nerve, every sense in my body was warm and tingling. I was way beyond rational thinking and my body seemed to be in control. It felt so wonderful to be wanted, desired. I knew I couldn’t tear myself away, if I could. We both seemed to need each other more than we ever thought. The moment his warm lips touched the sensitive skin of my breast, my body seemed to explode. Letting out a moan and arching my back once more, his name slip from my lips. As he broke away and looked up into my eyes, I fiercely raked my fingers through his hair, bringing him close to me. I pressed my lips to his, exploring his mouth, breaking away only long enough to lift his shirt off.

Our eyes connecting once again, I could see that they were filled with such passion and fire. I slowly pushed him down, as I crawled on top. A smile crossed my face, as I began laying kisses down his chest. My fingers tantalizing his bright, red nipples. Raking my fingertips across his body, I could feel his current state of arousal. It gave me the slightest bit of pleasure as knowing that I could cause such a reaction. Getting more adventurous, I let my tongue trace the line of hair from his navel to his waist line.

Omg, she was driving me wild. Her tongue was hot on my skin and I'm sure she could sense my arousal. I pulled her towards me once more, my mouth meeting hers, our tongues locked in what seemed like an endless tantalizing dance. I run my fingers through her hair and then slowly stroke the arch of her back. I wanted her so much and her need for me only strengthened my arousal.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I take a deep breath, as I'm walking up to Brian's door. I haven't exactly been the friendliest person recently, but I've got a good reason. I'm terrified of how he's gonna react to my news and I've nearly chickened out of telling him but he has a right to know. I just hope he understands. All I want right now, as I put the key in the lock, is for him to hold me and tell me everything will be alright. My eyes are still wet from crying on the journey over here and I rub them desperately, making them even more red and puffy. It's unusually quiet when I enter the house, as he's normally got an NBA game on. Maybe, he's asleep on the sofa. I smile at the thought. The lounge door is slightly open and I gently push it. As I step into the room, I'm stunned by the sight that greets me. A sickening sensation rises in my stomach.