As soon as I was sure that I was far enough away from Nick's house I burst out sobbing. I knew I had to stop doing this too myself. If I kept up all this emotional turmoil I was gonna wind up landing myself in the loony bin. Bad enough AJ had wanted to put me in the hospital once as it was. I continued walking until finally I felt like I couldn't walk another step. I seriously doubted that I had enough strength to make it the rest of the way back home. Thankfully enough I had brought by cell phone with me.

First I tried dialing my apartment to see if Erika could come pick me up, but there was no answer. AJ must've picked her up and they probably went out somewhere, I concluded as I tried his cell phone. Unfortunately, all I got was his annoying voice mail. OK, I thought. There's always Melanie... Only one problem, Melanie wasn't picking up her phone either. Everyone I could think of either wasn't home or I was getting a busy signal. With a sigh I realized that there was only one other person to call and that was Izzy. Not that I relished the idea of actually having to talk to her, but the more I thought about it, the better it sounded. I'd get a ride and then maybe ... just maybe we could talk and try to work this mess out between us to.

I dialed her number and was relieved when I heard her voice answer on the other end. "Hello?"

"Hey Izzy. It's me Mel," I told her, my voice almost in tears.

"Oh," she just remarked in a tone that seemed to say why are you calling me? "What do YOU want?"

"I need somebody to come pick me up," I told her as I finally just broke down sobbing again.

"And you want ME to pick you up?" she asked in a bitchy tone.

"PLEASE Iz," I begged. "I'm standing out here in the rain and I'm wet and cold and I just had a huge fight with Nick and nobody else is home for me to call and-"

"Fine!" Izzy interrupted, not having the patience to listen to any more of my blubbering. "Where are you?"

I quickly told her my location and she promised to be there in 10 minutes. Meanwhile I took refuge from the rain in a convenience store across the street from where I told Iz to pick me up.

When she finally pulled up, I ran to her car and slammed the door quickly. "Thanks for picking me up," I told her.

"You ruin my seats you're paying for them," she replied coldly as she saw how soaked I was. "I guess while I'm at your house I can get my dress back."

"I left it at Nick's," I explained. "I went over there to drop it off for you and Nick told me to just leave it there. It's uhh in a pretty sad condition," I admitted. "Just like our friendship..."

"You ruined my dress?!" she screeched almost swerving into another car.

"Iz watch it!" I screamed, exhaling a deep breath and I realized we were okay. "And it's not ruined! Just a little wet. Nothing a trip to the dry cleaners can't fix."

"A little wet? How little is a little? Jesus! I spent $200 on that damn dress!" she whined.

Finally I exploded. "For the amount of material that's an insane price to pay! Who on earth would buy a dress that expensive and then just lend it to someone else anyway?"

"It was designer!" she cried, still not being able to accept it.

"It's a fucking dress Iz! All it is a piece of fabric... It's not the end of the world!"

Iz pulled the car over just then and glared at me. "Get out of my car."

"Fine! I'll hitch a ride home," I told her as I reached her the door handle.

Izzy immediately locked my door. She was awfully pissed off at me, but she wasn't about to let me hitch a ride with a serial killer or something. "Forget it. Stay. I overreacted about the dress anyway and I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to make you so mad," I confessed. "Lately I've been really good at pissing everyone off. Is it such a crime to care about people you love though?"

"Are you talking about Nick?" she asked me.

"Not just him. You too," I admitted.

"How could you care about me if you made out with my boyfriend behind my back?" she accused.

"Like I said before Iz, I understood that the two have you had broken up, as in were not together anymore. I was pissed at Nick and he was pissed at you and that was it. It didn't mean shit to either of us. We were just doing it to comfort each other and that's the truth. If I could go back and change it I would," I explained to her.

"I don't care that you regret it Melissa. I mean I was so scared that something like this would happen and it did! With you, my best friend! You know how unconfident I am and well look at Ashley... We're total opposites!"

"Wait! Are you trying to tell me that you're jealous of me?" I asked her in an amazed voice. "Because Iz let me tell you, I am NO competition and believe me that I never would've even looked at Ashley if I knew you guys were together."

"Yes, I'm jealous of you!" she admitted. "You're cute as a button and have like the perfect body. I doubt you have even an ounce of fat on you. Now me on the other hand... I'm the opposite of every other girl that Ashley's ever dated."

I almost laughed out loud. She thought I was perfect? "And I'm the exact opposite of every girl Nick's ever dated," I pointed out. "You've known him practically forever and you know the types he dates. Blonde haired, blue eyed supermodel types with perfect bodies. The only thing I have in common with any of them is that I probably weigh the same and I have to be almost a foot smaller than them." I stopped and sighed before talking again. "Look at Katie. She's his type. Maybe that's why it didn't work out with us. He just wasn't attracted to me or something."

"I think that maybe you're too good for him," she said quietly.

I sat there shocked for a moment or two. Had she just said something nice to me? I wasn't sure how to react. "I don't know anything anymore," I just continued on. "He never tells me anything anymore except lies. Do you know that today I found out that he had an HIV test and he acted like it was no big deal?"

I then noticed that Izzy had pressed her lips tightly together and was trying to look away. "You really do know about this Iz. What do you know? Please tell me!" I begged.

"Okay. I know something Mel, but it's not my place to tell you it. Nick begged me to keep my mouth closed and even though we're close, Nick is also one of my best friends and I can't betray him like this," she admitted.

"I can't believe this," I told her, starting to get angry again. "Nick may have HIV and everyone else knows about it but me?"

"Not everyone! Just me," she tried to tell me. "I admit that I was the one who suggested it to him but-"

"But what? Is that ALL of it Izzy? Or is there something else that Nick is hiding from me?" I interrupted.

"I can't say," she told me truthfully.

"Argh!" I sighed in frustration. Damn secrets were so fucking stupid!

"I'm sorry Mel, but I can't say anything."

"I know Iz. It's just REALLY frustrating because I know he's hiding something and it's really hard to go from him telling me everything to him telling me nothing."

"Maybe it's something that he's waiting to tell you when the time is right," she suggested. "He's only doing what he thinks is best Mel. He's trying his damnedest not to hurt you. He's hiding the truth to protect you."

"He has a funny way of going about it. Yelling at me. Telling me he never loved me. Demanding me to get out of his life," I remarked.

"Well, Nick is stupid," Izzy told me. "He does stupid things, but he's human and yes he may have cheated on you, but he regrets it despite all the hurtful shit he's saying to you. Just like you told me about Ashley, if he could do things differently he would."

"Right now I'm at the point now where I'm willing to forgive him about sleeping with Katie. I'm ready to put it behind me and move on with our relationship, but he won't let that happen and it's kind of hard to move on when now Katie is all of a sudden in town," I explained. "Do you think that Katie has HIV and that's why she came to see Nick?"

"I wouldn't say that was the reason why she came to see him, but with a girl like her you can never be too careful," she said slowly.

"You persuaded him to take the test," I realized.

"Yes," she admitted.

"I don't know if I should kiss you or kill you, " I replied. "You were only looking out for him."

"Yeah I guess." She stopped and laughed. "And yes, Katie DOES look like his type."

I joined in laughing with her. "Has he always had such horrible taste in women?"

Izzy stopped and thought a second before breaking into hysterics. "Always! Since he was like 13!"

For some reason I found this hilarious and I joined in laughing and it actually felt REALLY good. It was true what they said about laughter being the best medicine. It had been so long that I'd really laughed that I almost forgot how good it could feel.

"I guess I owe you an explanation of exactly WHY I broke up with Ashley and why I got so mad at you," Izzy spoke up after we had calmed down.

"It would be nice," I agreed.

"Well, remember how I was telling you how Lou didn't like me?" she asked. I just nodded and let her continue. "Well, he's been like withholding phone calls from Ashley when I call and yesterday he called me on my cell phone and told me that if I didn't break up with Ashley he was going to kick Ashley out of the group. He told me that I was interfering with his performance, so it was either me or his career. I know how much singing means to Ashley so I broke up with him so he wouldn't have to make the decision. That's why I got so upset when I saw him with you last night. I didn't want to break him. I still love him. I just lied and told him that I was using him to make it less painful, but I guess it didn't really work very well."

"I'm sorry Iz. Now I feel like a really big bitch," I told her apologetically.

"No, you didn't know," she insisted. "Anyway I just wanted to explain myself."

"It makes a lot more sense now Iz." I stopped and sighed. "Now if only Nick and I could make sense."

"I'll try to talk to him, but I can't promise you anything," she told me as she finally continued to drive.

I was silent for a few minutes until finally a thought crossed my mind. "Izzy, are we still friends now?" I asked, feeling rather stupid.

Izzy sighed. "Now that we talked I do feel a lot better and I'm not mad anymore, but I can't just go back to the way we were before all this. We both said some really horrible things to each other and it's going to take a while for me to go back to being your best friend. I just need a little time to work things through. We're both going through a lot of shit right now and I for one know that I don't have the energy left to try to make things go back to good. Maybe in a few weeks, but not now."

"I think I understand," I said with a sigh as I laid my head back against the headrest and was silent for the rest of the drive back to my apartment.