It's amazing what you can pick up just from simple body language. The limo ride from my apartment to AJ's house may have seemed uneventful to the average person, but I picked up on quite a few interesting things.

Once we were one our way and all settled down sipping drinks I sat back and took a good look at everyone. Everybody seemed to be coupled off except me and Nick, who was conveniently sitting on the opposite end of the limo from me. Erika had wound up sitting next to AJ, who immediately engaged her into conversation. For the first time since she'd arrived on my doorstep this afternoon, she genuinely seemed to be enjoying herself. Hmm... I wondered to myself. The two of them certainly had possibilities, but then again Erika wasn't necessarily ready for another relationship just yet. God, if I was in her shoes I'd have probably sworn off men forever. Also even though I love AJ to pieces, the word commitment isn't in his vocabulary. I feel bad for him. I mean he tries so hard to keep a relationship serious, but he's just one of those people who loses interest too quickly. If anything, Erika needed a guy who was going to stick with her through thick and thin and AJ... well he'd be the type to run away when it got tough.

My attention focused to Chantal who looked like she was having a grand old time sandwiched between Ashley's two friends, Erik and Dan. Izzy had said she wanted to hook Chantal up but this was just too funny. It was obvious that both of them seemed quite taken with Chantal and they were both trying to hold her attention. I almost laughed out loud when Chantal announced that she wanted another drink and both Erik and Dan almost knocked each other over to get it for her!

On the other hand Izzy and Ashley seemed very calm and sedate. Almost too much so for them. Ashley kept trying to put his arm around Izzy but she kept shrugging it off. Strange, I thought. Usually Izzy and Ashley were the world's most sickeningly sweet couple. Did they have a fight or something? I noticed that Izzy seemed to be very deep in thought about something...

The only normal couple in the limo appeared to be Kevin and Melanie who still seemed to be on cloud nine because of their engagement. At least somebody's life was actually pretty stable.

Then there was Nick... It was really weird having him there and acting like we were total strangers. Normally I probably would have been snuggled up against him laughing and giggling like crazy and having a great time just being with him. But now... Now it was totally different. I kept sneaking little glances at him and then quickly looking away before he could catch me. I could swear I could feel his eyes doing the same. At one point our eyes met and for a second I thought that I could see the hurt in his eyes as well. He really looked as if this was as painful as him as it was for me. I had to lower my gaze because I knew that if I didn't I'd probably start to cry again.

AJ certainly knew how to throw a party. While I thought that this was just going to be a small gathering of my close friends, AJ's house turned out to be swarmed by people. He must have invited everyone in the freaking music industry. It made me feel a little uncomfortable to know that most of these people really weren't even there to wish me a happy birthday, but just to say that they were there. I barely knew half the people! I pretended to act really overjoyed at the fact that AJ had went through such lengths for me because I didn't want to sound selfish.

At least with this kind of crowd it'll be easy to avoid Nick, I thought to myself as I watched him disappear somewhere with a group of people. With so many people around what could be our chances of running into each other?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My observation about Ashley and Izzy was not totally false. Something was definitely up with Izzy and Ashley could sense it too. As soon as they walked into AJ's house, Ashley pulled her aside. "What's wrong with you?" he asked her bluntly.

"What do you mean what's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with me," Izzy lied as she pretended to act as if she had no clue what he was talking about.

"Get off it Iz! You've been a space cadet all night. Something is on your mind," he insisted.

Izzy sighed. "All right... I'll tell you, but first let's go outside where it's quieter," she told him, grabbing his hand and leading him outside and around to the side of the house where it was fairly secluded.

"Okay, what's going on?" Ashley repeated once they were alone.

Izzy just bit her lip a little unsure of where to begin. How do you break up with the person you love the most in the world in order to protect them? she wondered. "I've been doing some thinking lately and I uhh..." she paused to swallow hard before blurting out, "I think we should break up."

"Break up? But why?" Ashley asked with a shocked look on his face. As far as he knew everything was great. Better than great. Super was more like the word.

"Why?" Izzy hesitated trying to think up a good reason that she would break up with him.

"Yes, why?" Ashley repeated. "I mean I thought everything was great between us and now you're breaking up with me? It makes no sense!"

"Well, uhh everything that has been going on with Melissa and Nick kind of has me paranoid and-"

"That's the biggest piece of bullshit I have ever heard Iz," he angrily interrupted. "You're using that situation as an excuse! I want the REAL reason."

"The real reason?" she stalled as she licked her lips and finally thought of just the thing to say to him. It would be cold and hurtful and not at all like herself, but it would be something that Ashley would have to accept. "Well, the real reason I'm breaking up with you is because truthfully I never really loved you. I was just faking it because I wanted to date you for your fame and money," she answered totally stone faced, her voice flat.

"No Iz! That's not it! You're lying!" Ashley insisted raising his voice. "Your cousin is fucking Kevin Richardson! Why would you want to date me for my money when your cousin has about ten more times the amount that I have?"

"I told you the reason Ashley. If you don't want to accept it then fine! The bottom line is that I don't love you!" she shouted as she watched Ashley's face turn into a hurt expression. Oh, God am I a bitch, she told herself, trying not to start crying herself. I can't keep this up much longer.

"Look, I got to go inside and see a few people," she mumbled as she turned around and ran inside the house without leaving any more explanation. Once she was safely inside she whispered softly underneath her breath, "I hope you're happy Lou..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have to admit, even though it was my party I was bored stiff. Like I said before I hardly knew anybody there and I was avoiding Nick, Izzy and Ashley were nowhere to be found, Chantal looked a little preoccupied with both Erik and Dan, and Kevin and Melanie were in their own little world. Basically I wound up following AJ and Erika around in the backyard as AJ dragged me from person and person and introduced me.

After about an hour or two of smiling and trying to make small talk with complete strangers I was completely bored and exhausted. "I think I need another drink," I announced, eager for an excuse to get away.

"Someone's playing bartender by the pool if you want a mixed drink. If you want a wine cooler or something they're in the kitchen in the cooler," AJ told me.

"Okay," I said with a nod deciding to try my luck in the kitchen. At least it gave me an excuse to get away from everyone for a little bit.

As soon as I stepped inside the kitchen I took in a deep breath. There was Nick leaning over the cooler, obviously looking for something to drink. I froze. Should I say something? Should I just ignore him? Should I just wait until he left? Taking in another deep breath I decided to just grab my drink and go. If he said anything to me fine. If not ... oh well.

Without a word or a glance to acknowledge him I walked up to the cooler and dug around trying to decide what to have. Finally my eyes settled on a bottle of Skyy Blue and I reached out to grab it. Unfortunately Nick must have had the same idea because our hands met as we both tried to grab the same bottle.

"I'm sorry," he apologized as he looked over me. "You can have it."

"No, you take it," I insisted as I thrust the bottle back at him. "I'm sure there's another one in here somewhere."

"I think it's the last one," he told me as he pushed the bottle back at me. "Take it. It's your birthday."

"No. I'll get something else," I argued sliding it back at him again.

"No. I'll get something else," he replied as he dug into the cooler and pulled out a Smirnoff Ice. "Now you have to take it," he said with an impish grin.

I laughed as I took the bottle opener and opened up my drink. "I can't believe we were just fighting over a bottle of beer. How sad is that?"

"Very," he answered as he opened up his.

I wasn't sure what to say next so I just stayed silent as I took a sip of my drink. In a way I wanted the conversation to continue, but I was afraid of what a conversation could lead to. Lately it had seemed like whenever we were together all we did was fight.

"I don't think I really got a chance to wish you happy birthday," Nick spoke up interrupting the silence.

"Sounds like you just did," I told him.

"I have your birthday gift in my pocket," he continued.

"You didn't have to get me anything Nick," I insisted, not sure if I wanted a gift from him anyway.

"Yes, I did. Besides, it was something that I got before ... before yesterday..." he reluctantly said, not being able to say the words before we broke up.

"Well, there's a pile of gifts on the living room table. You can just leave it there. That's where everyone else has been leaving their gifts," I informed him.

"No," he insisted. "I wanted to give it to you personally."

"All right," I agreed. "I'll open it here."

"No, not here either. The music is so loud I can barely hear myself speak."

"Outside?" I suggested.

"Too many people out there."

I sighed. Sometimes Nick really could be a pain in the ass. "The only other place where it'll be quiet is upstairs." AJ had made it clear that the party was only to take place on the first floor and outside so I knew that it would be quiet upstairs, plus I'm sure he didn't mind if we went up there to talk.

"That'll do," he agreed as he headed upstairs. I followed him my stomach starting to feel a little queasy. I remembered that Izzy had suggested that we try to talk things out and this would probably be the perfect time. Even though it was something I wasn't sure I was prepared to do I knew that now might be my only chance.

"Actually, uhh I think I kinda need to talk to you," I told him when we reached the top landing.

"About?" he asked.

"Us," I answered.

"Oh," he replied as he pushed open the door to one of AJ's guest bedrooms. "Sit down and let me give you your gift first and then we can talk."

"Okay," I agreed as I sat down on the bed. He sat down across from me and took a small box out of his pocket and handed it to me.

"Open it," he urged.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened it a little scared of what it could be. It was definitely jewelry and jewelry from Nick was sure to be expensive. It definitely had to be something that I knew that I wouldn't be able to accept.

Sure enough when I unwrapped it I found a little white jewelry box. Opening up the box I gasped. I'd always joked around with Nick that I wanted a diamond belly button ring one of these days and I couldn't believe that Nick had actually went out and found one for me. Wow ... he'd said he'd bought it before we had broken up and if we were still dating I'd have no problem accepting a gift like this from him, but now? This was probably big bucks and I just wouldn't feel comfortable wearing something this expensive from an ex-boyfriend.

"Wow Nick... It's beautiful..." I stammered trying to figure out how to tell him I couldn't take it.

"I knew you'd love it," Nick answered proudly with a grin on his face.

"Nick, I REALLY, REALLY like it, but I can't accept this," I blurted out as I handed the box back to him.

"Why not?" he asked, his face falling.

"Because... It doesn't feel right," I explained. "We're not together anymore. I'd love to still be friends with you, but this is the kind of gift that's more than just from one friend to another."

"But I bought it before we broke up. Let it be my last gift to you. Let it be a reminder of what we once had," he insisted.

I sighed as I turned away. "I can't Nick... It's just too painful," I admitted. "I still don;t understand why?"

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why you wanted to break up in the first place! Nick, you can't tell me you want to break up and still be friends. Maybe you can do that, but I can't. At least not right away. It's too hard. Do you realize that after you broke up with me yesterday my whole world shattered? Maybe you didn't realize just how much you meant to me, but you were my everything. You were one of the few stable things in my life. For the first time since I moved down to Florida I wasn't lonely and afraid that I'd have to go crawling back to my parents because I'd failed. Without you I feel like I'm nothing," I spilled out, trying not to cry.

"So, what are you trying to say? That you don't even want to be friends now?"

"I don't know!" I blurted out. "I really don't know what I want! I don't want you out of my life, but I can't have you so close and not be with you. I don't want you to just get back together with me though because you feel sorry for me. I just want a reason. Is it Katie? Do you love her more than me? Is she more attractive than me?"

"Melissa," he said softly. "I'm not any more attracted to Katie than I am you. I think you're a beautiful person inside and out, just I guess we kind of drifted apart."

"That's lame," I mumbled. "So now what? Are you and Katie going to start dating?"

"I don't know Melissa," he answered rubbing his temples. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for another relationship."

"Another lame excuse," I muttered. "Strange how I never thought we drifted apart. The real reason was that I just wasn't exciting enough for you anymore huh? You can tell me the truth Nick."

"Yea, that was it Melissa. I just stopped loving you the moment I laid eyes on Katie! My feelings just changed like that. In fact maybe I just never loved you. Maybe I just thought I did!" he finally stood up, losing his temper.

"So, now you're saying that these past few months have just been a lie? That every time you said I love you, you were lying?" I asked him, not being able to believe it.

"Bingo!" Nick replied. "I guess I was just trying to create chemistry that wasn't there because Izzy was so convinced that we were perfect for each other and I didn't want to hurt her feelings."

"You bastard! After everything I just spilled out to you, you admit that you were just faking it?"

"Yea," he admitted. "Your problem is that you are WAY too insecure and I'm sick of having to deal with your jealously! I'm not getting anything out of this relationship so why stay in it!"

"Good point Nick! Why stay? Which is exactly why I am leaving right now!" I told him trying to blink back my tears as I grabbed the box and threw it at him. "You can go give this to Katie or something," I mumbled as I ran out of the room and down the stairs, the tears freely flowing down my cheeks by now. I heard people calling my name, grabbing my arm, begging to know what was wrong. I just shrugged them off and kept running, ignoring their calls. I ran straight out the front door and down the block until I was far enough away from AJ's that I knew no one would find me.

Gasping for breath, I choked for air between my sobs. Every time I saw Nick it just ended up worse and worse. I couldn't take it anymore! Walking a few more blocks I found myself near some sort of beach where I just collapsed onto the sand and cried my eyes out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick sighed in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. That went real smooth, Carter, he told himself, angrily punching the wall. Maybe if I run quick enough I can catch up to her and take it all back and apologize. But if he apologized then he'd be forced to tell the truth. How the hell was he supposed to tell me that Katie was pregnant? I'd never accept it. Even though it hurt for him to tell me these lies, he knew that it was for the best. He'd hurt me enough already, I didn't need anymore pain.

"I'm sorry," he said out loud as if I was still in the room. "God, I'm an asshole!"

"And I'm a bitch," Izzy's familiar voice lingered in the doorway. "I think we should go out and take a walk. It looks as if the both of us need somebody to talk to."